Good Evening everyone, I wanted to get some feedback on a recording I did this week for Narration. Thanks in advance.
Cheers!
As the tide covers the dock with just an inch or two of water these Tiger Sharks are making their move. Nurse sharks can sometimes propel themselves onto docks when going after scraps of fish. It’s a learned behavior, and evidence that sharks may come on land to feed. Is that also what these sharks are attempting to do?
That was great! Good job for your first time. You definitely got the relaxing vibe down and your natural delivery has nice pacing to it. The only thing I noticed was the words “you will” in the sentence “during this breathing medication, you will focus on your breath” sound rushed together so I’d just enunciate that clearer.
Total newbie so not sure how much my opinion counts – but i liked your Ben &B Jerry’s one the best – your voice suited the style and I thought it sounded upbeat, convincing and personal.
Hello all! I’m looking for any and all feedback here – same script read 2 slightly different ways. Which do you like better and why? Thanks!
Mary
HGTV – Designer Challenge
One Room in desperate need of a makeover. Three possible solutions. Which would you choose? Designer’s Challenge. Coming up Next. Only on HGTV.
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to both readings, but I felt that the second reading was the one that seemed the more natural, the more convincing. It was almost as if you were addressing an audience that you could actually see. Sounds a little bizarre, I am sure, but it seemed that there was more of a connection between you and an audience in your second reading and that that translated into a more natural flow, with emphasis falling where your instincts told you, and suggestion of a script in your hands pushed to one side.
Thanks for the feedback John! I tried this one many times before picking the top two. Super short script but so many ways to read it. Trying to find the line of appropriate energy, enthusiasm and naturalness for this type of script without being too over the top. Thanks again!
Hi Dante, very nice! I really like your nice deep voice and warm delivery – great clarity and pacing. I like scripts 1 and 3 best for you. The second script felt more like you were reading to me, not sure why that was exactly, maybe just more emphasized enunciation than the other two? The other two sounded more natural and with good inflection levels. Keep up the good work!
I believe the volume was loud on my end in listening to your recording. You can always normalize down to correct that unless you were redlining when recording. Otherwise your delivery is great, I would just back off on the mic slightly to avoid too many mouth noises, unless that was the volume issue? Ancient mysteries was a little too stiff, so relax maybe and try a more conversational delivery? Hope that helps and good luck!
I’m not sure why I’m unable to edit my post, but I just wanted to say that my audio files were louder, but for some reason they uploaded rather quietly.
All comments most welcome!
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
When you have a two inch lift…
When you have Goodyear Duratrack tires…
When you have Rancho shocks…and an integrated dual exhaust…
When you have all that…
The last thing you’ll need…is a road…
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss…
Ready to off-road…right from the factory.
Chevy….find new roads…
You have a wonderful voice for this type of script. I would just slow it down slightly and obey the ellipses more , as that would further increase the synergy you have with the read. You highlighted the words appropriately.
Great read and nice pacing. The only suggestion I have is going down in pitch on the word factory. Right now it goes up and I think you want it more of a statement.
Hey all! Bumping my read from March 8th to see if I can get some critique on it! It’s a little further down the page. Thanks so much! Really enjoy listening to you all.
Tina
Every home has things it needs.
Things that need to be maintained, fixed or replaced.
The Home Depot is here to help you get it done.
You can find it, order online, and have it brought to your door with free delivery on over a million items. We have the essentials you need.
The know how you may need to do it yourself,
And low prices that make it all possible.
The Home Depot – how doers get it done.
Good read, great tone and pacing and your voice is just right for this copy. I’m probably just nitpicking here but in your 2nd line, maybe shorten the pauses between, maintained, fixed or replaced, so that it flows a little more smoothly. And maybe add a little more weight to “million” in your fourth line. Nice job!
Nice read! I like the added music. If I’m being nitpicky I’d say the second sentence, “fixed or replaced” sounds like an afterthought because it sounds like you are ending the sentence on maintained and not listing 3 things. Otherwise, great read!
Hi, I’m Pecos Red for Justin Boots. Ever heard the term: “All Hat and no cattle”? That’s the problem with a lot of boots I know. Sounds weird, but the thing of it is that most boots don’t do the same things your feet do, like expand and contract when you take a step. Most boots are rigid, which is why your “dawgs commence to barkin’” and get all swole up, from yer boot-heels a wanderin’.At Justin Boots, our technology is a simple idee that comes right out of the way your foot works. It’s how we build ever’ boot we make. So it expands and flexes the way your foot does when it’s out ridin’ the range, or just boot-scootin’ out at Billy Bob’s. Justin Boots Quality. It’s a DANG good thing! I’m Pecos Red, remindin’ ya: never kick a cow chip on a hot day! Justin Boots. Don’t wear ‘em. Use ‘em!
That was a really fun read! I love all the sound effects! You have a great voice and my only suggestion is building in some pauses at the beginning as it read a little fast and streamed together. You did it great towards the end.
Hi everyone, I am working on two more reads for a commercial demo. I would appreciate your comments on any of it. Also how is the sound quality? Thank you in advance!
Ed
I agree with Tom in regards to giving more direction to the words “That Look”, basically just having a stronger opinion of what you think that look is (pure delight, ecstasy, etc). I also agree with visualizing what you see a bit more. You have a great resonance to your voice and definitely have the relaxing vibe down.
This may just be more personal preference, but I think after you say the first line “There are over a thousand families that need our help” (i.e. the problem), the second line could use more of a feeling of hope and be a little more uplifting. It sounds a little somber, which is perfect for the first line but maybe there’s a way to lighten up the next line since it’s a great thing they’re offering, while still getting the message across. I hope this is helpful!
Tina, thank you for your clear, specific comments. I really appreciate them! Your comments on having a strong opinion on the opening of the VRBO spot is a good one. Thanks also for the point about bringing more of an uplifting feel to the second read.
Much appreciated!
Ed
On the first, I think your easy-going sound is great for this. I like where it’s going. I would keep working more on envisioning the scene and painting the picture. Do you have an image in mind for “That look.” and what that look does to you? A pronunciation note: VRBO is pronounced “verbo”. (I learned this listening to some commercials on YouTube.)
In the second read, I like the sound of compassion without overdoing the pathos. That said, I feel you can add a bit more pathos to “you can give back to these heroes who gave up so much for you”. It’s a careful balance. You don’t want to lay a guilt trip, but you want us to feel they have earned this. Watch the pauses. I think phrases can be better connected. Ex: “by providing them / with mortgage-free homes” A pronunciation note: you said “Tunnel to Towers” at the start but “Tunnels to Towers” at the end.
Audio sounded good to me. I didn’t pick up any room noise.
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by tomnunes.
Tom, once again thanks for your very specific comments. Thanks for the heads up on pronouncing VRBO! Your point on envisioning the scene is one I am continuing to work on. Good to hear the audio quality is good.
Thanks again.
Ed