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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hey everyone, I recorded another commercial script. How do I sound? Any feedback is appreciated.
Hurricane Harbor
Cool off at the # 1 water park in Phoenix
Wet-N-Wild is now 6 Flags Hurricane Harbor
Save up to 50% on season passes, but hurry – offer ends June 16th
Hurricane Harbor. Bigger, Better, wetter than ever! -
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Practicing scripts from the script library. Thanks for any feedback!
Tina
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread
Everybody can use a little help when they’re out on the road- and that’s where MailBoxes Etcetera comes in. We get it done, and we get it done right. Mailboxes Etcetera.
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.
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Really great work Tina, I love your voice and enthusiasm. One thing I noticed is that you go down in pitch after most words. Though this is necessary, I would recommend maintaining the same pitch, or even a bit higher at the end of important words or phrases. I don’t mean uptalk that you hear on reality TV, just very slight. Keep at it, cant wait to hear you on air.
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Nice to meet you Tina. I think you have a very satisfying voice and your inflections were well placed. However, I think in all three of these scripts you come off as more of an announcer and that is generally not adviseable in voice acting. You need to sound like you’re talking directly to the listener, as if in conversation. Also, I hear a whole lot of breathing. When editing your recording, you should do whatever you can to eliminate superfluous noises so it’s mainly your voice that people are hearing. I hope this helps.
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Here’s something a little different than normal for me. Thanks for any feedback. Don’t laugh too hard. lol
Popeyes fried chicken
Got a cravin’ for Cajun? Well, cher, I guarantee I know what’ll fix you up, and it’s only at Popeyes. New Orleans style fried chicken, cajun battered fries, and buttermilk biscuits. Love that chicken at Popeye’s.
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Hello, everyone! Hoping to get some feedback on this documentary script read for my narration demo. Thanks!
In 1980, the most violent eruption in North America in nearly a century wiped out virtually all life for 200 square miles. In recent years, scientists have detected ominous signs Mount Saint Helens is awakening. Their quest to understand one of the most complicated volcanoes in the world is revealing new mysteries deep inside the mountain.
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There are a lot of good things in this read. Great voice, great studio sound, your words are clear and the delivery was smooth with no undue pauses (except maybe before “deep inside the mountain”) As for you tone, you certainly sounded interested to me. I think what you need to work toward how to make you choices (word emphasis, etc) sound more organic, natural. It’s at risk of coming across forced and artificial. I’m not an expert in documentary, but I just happened to be listening to a narration by Peter Coyote today. He has a very smooth and even delivery to his narration. It’s a couple of notches above monotone but so engaging and draws you in. I’d checked out some of his narrations. Keep at this until the language and way of speaking feels second nature to you. If you love the genre, I think you can be great at this.
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Nice work, and to your point tom I agree that he could choose which words to emphasize, and which to plow through. keep up the good work!
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Hi Jas: I did not hear what Tim did relative to the tone. I liked the pace and overall delivery. I got your enthusiasm/passion for the topic and you had the right level of sincerity. This would be a good area for you.
Best,
Scott -
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Well, I really like the words you hit and your tempo is very fitting for a narration script. I think your voice would be a good fit for a nature documentary, but I don’t really enjoy the tone you used. You sound kind of sarcastic, condescending, or even uninterested in what your explaining. If you’re not interested in the subject, I’m sure listeners wouldn’t be either. On another note, your recording setup is good and I think you’re on the right track for preparing your demo.
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Hey guys! Three reads I tried. Thanks for any feedback!
Tina
Butterball brings you the joys of turkey day. Friends and family drop in to bask in the warmth of the season. Celebrate this summer with Butterball turkey on the grill. Tender, juicy, surprisingly simple. HAPPY THANKSGRILLING from Butterball.
These days, it seems as if every car insurance company needs a symbol. Things like a blanket or a hand. Well, if Geico had a symbol, it would surely be the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex. You see…it’s here, deep within the brain, that nerve impulses figure out, “Hey…it’s smarter to buy car insurance from GEICO.” Over 10,000 drivers use Geico.
Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.
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Hi Tina,
I very much enjoyed listening to all three reads. You just sounded so cheery throughout, but it was #2 that really caught my attention. I think that it was the way in which you interpreted this particular script that made it so, so natural and conversational. For example, your slight pause and then change of tone as you read “the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex,” was, I thought, very effective. It made me smile, because it was unexpected. Perhaps, more importantly, that is what made the advert, and your voice, stick with me.
Regards,
John
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Tina, Those where good. I think #1 could have used a little more tone changes at end “Happy Thanksgrilling from Butterball. Good work.
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Motel 6 Do-over
I’ve just been hearing about this trendy new hairstyle called a man bun. I mean….what’s next – the beehive? Well, Motel 6 recently got a new updo of sorts too. With renovations nationwide, and even with our fresh modern look, you’ll still find rooms at the lowest price of any national chain. You can save up enough money to get yourself a haircut or maybe a hat. We’ll leave the light on for ya’, at Motel6.com -
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Hi all! Just a couple commercial practice scripts. Your feedback is appreciated!
Thanks!
U of I Community Credit Union:
It’s hard not to be a fan of a credit card that gives you more
while saving you money every single day.
The Illini Visa Rewards card
Available only through U of I Community Credit UnionGlade:
No one says to wake up touch
or see, or taste, or hear the roses
They say to wake up and smell the roses
Because scent makes us feel like nothing else can
Inspired by the best feelings in the World
Glade -
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Hi, I made some new recordings (done via my phone just for practice) for commercial copy. Would appreciate feedback. Thanks!
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Truebill- I think it would be helpful to think of a lead in line. What happened right before? Who are you talking to and why are you telling them this information? A recommendation would be to practice this one as if you are having a conversation with someone and every line is an answer to a question they are asking you. I did this on some reads and it helps it come out more natural sounding.
Pretty Litter- This one sounds like a reading. I think just taking the moment before and establishing who you are telling this to will make the world of difference.
Wix- This read was the most natural and free flowing. Really nice pacing and you sounded confident in the material.
Just a few tweaks to your reads and you’ll get there! Hope this helps!
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Hello kind folks! Uploading a few takes of commercial reads I’m working on. I really appreciate the time and any feedback you have.
All the best,
John
PSA ON ENVIRONMENT
A key to reducing waste is to shop wisely and purchase only what you need
You can also buy household products with less packaging
And when it comes to food opt for loose produce
So reduce, then recycle the rest
The more you know
Aspen
At the gate the everyday vanishes
Here your thoughts are a little clearer
Your appetite for life a little sharper
This mountain, as captivating under summer flowers as it is under snow
Aspen is a one-of-a-kind resort
Unhurried Carefree And cozy like an Alpine Village under a starry night
Ambien
There is a rhythm to life
We sleep at night and wake in the morning
It’s the sleep cycle that helps keep us in a healthy balance
But for millions of Americans sleep doesn’t always come easily
For them there’s AMBIEN
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Hi, John. Some nice reads here. Words are clear. For the most part, you avoided unnecessary pauses. The energy in your read is great for the PSA. You had a similar energy or tone for Aspen and Ambient, which, in my opinion, calls for a calmer energy. Aspen feels like it calls for an easy, relaxed, dreamy, leave your troubles at the door and relax tone. If you haven’t, find a person you’re talking to. What do you want them to feel? Where are you while saying this. Paint the picture for them. The line “This mountain, as captivating…” has unique punctuation. It’s kind of like “This mountain (man-oh-man) as captivating…
For Ambien, this may be just my interpretation, but an ad that promotes sleep should sound calming and relaxing. There’s an interesting arc to the city you can play with more. 1) this is nice. 2) this is nice. 3) and this is nice. 4) this is bad, 5) but this will make it good.
If you are also looking for feedback on sound quality, the audio has a lot of echo. You’ll have to treat your recording space. Are you working with anyone to help with that?
Thanks for sharing, John.
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This was taken from the script of a movie about Columbus. Trying or practicing narration to go along with a storyboard! Any thoughts are welcome. Oh and this is the first part thats why it ends so abruptly, Thanks.
All sit beside her. TREASURER SANCHEZ takes a document
and starts to read aloud.On screen the words: GRANADA – SPAIN – 1500
SANCHEZ
Your Majesty would wish to know the true facts concerning the island of
Hispanola, our first settlement in the New World, and the activities
there of your servant, Christopher Columbus, Admiral of the Ocean Sea,
Governor of that Island. You will remember with what hopes and promises
he beguiled us — the truth is that he now presides over a state
of chaos, degradation and madness beyond imagining.SANCHEZ punctuates each word carefully.
SANCHEZ
From the beginning, Columbus proved himself incapable of managing the
affairs of the island. He appointed his brothers to important positions,
at once injuring the pride and dignity of the nobles who had gone
with him. He promised to build a city, the City of Isabel, named
after Your Majesty. What he actually built was nothing but a
collection of huts, and that in the wrong place, for all of it was
easily swept away by rain and mud. Is that not so, Brother Buyl?The PRIEST nods.
BROTHER BUYL
Yes, Your Honor.SANCHEZ
He promised gold. Not finding the
easy quantities he promised,
Columbus commanded each Indian to
pay an annual tribute. Most being
unable to, they were barbarously
punished, against the express wish
of Your Christian Majesties…
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