Would love feedback on my emotional connection to this script. Thanks all!
Script:
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Hi Artyom!
First and I am sure I have said this before, your voice is great. I love the deep resonance that you have. If you were looking for an emotional connection on this- I got bit more of a robotic vibe on the first sentence. I think it is specially when you are saying “page” and reads” that you are really drawing those words out so it feels a bit forced and more robotic. I would recommend trying to smooth that out just a bit. You are extremely clear and appropriately crisp throughout the rest of the read though!
Hey everybody! I’m new here; just started my VO Commercial training and am recording from my home studio. I would love to hear your feedback on the quality of both the read and the audio. Let me know what you think, thanks! (Accidentally uploaded the same audio file twice, sorry!)
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by sarahtranchina.
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by sarahtranchina.
I agree with Monibr16 that I do hear some echo in the room, but your mic sounds awesome with your voice! I would also recommend slowing down just a bit. It feels as if you were rushing a bit during the last third of the read. Best of luck to you on your journey!
Working on some more assorted copy! Any comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance. Thanks!
Tesla Camera App
The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.
great read and articulation with great mini pauses and pitch variation. I would suggest something that I struggle with right now is more of an emotional connection to the text. Pretending you are very interested in the material and what are the stakes of you delivering this information to someone? WHY do they need to know this? Keep it up!
Would love feedback on my read, my character and connection to script. Thanks all!
“Let’s face it. Planning for disruption is the new ‘business as usual’.
And the businesses that will thrive are the ones taking an integrated approach to getting the most value from weather data.
Leading companies are employing advanced analytics and intelligent workflows to better predict how weather will impact their assets, employees and customers.
Industries you might not expect are quickly pivoting from “blaming the weather” to harnessing it.”
You’ve got really solid voice work, your annunciation is crisp and you really take care with each word. You provide a good pitch range which gives it variance, but I think its missing an emotional range. I would read that first line a little more conversational, it came off a little robotic for what looks like the read trying to “level with” its audience.
also upon a second listen, “Workflows” sounded off but otherwise your annunciation is quite good.
In this training, we’ll explore our Crisis Management program, its structure, and how it works to protect Synopsys by effectively identifying and responding to incidents that pose a threat.Let’s start by taking a closer look at Crisis Management.
great voice, great pause at the end and change of direction into a good call to action. echoing the rushing, use those commas as pauses for mood/tone shifts.
What a great voice. It commands your attention. Overall, a very nice read. Clear delivery with a good pace. A couple of items you could work on. The first first word was rushed. Almost sounded “n’THIS training.” Give more emphasis/time to “In”. In “how it works to protect Synopsys”, I would make “protect” the important word. Nice work!
Here is a little vignette on Ellis Island. Please provide feedback on all aspects of this attempt. Thanks!!! Scott
Ellis Island may not appear large on a map, but it is an unparalleled destination in United States history.
From 1892 to 1954, over twelve million immigrants entered the United States through this portal ; a small island in New York Harbor. Ellis Island is located in the upper bay, just off the New Jersey coast, within the shadow of the Statue of Liberty. Through the years, this gateway to the new world was enlarged from its original 3.3 acres to 27.5 acres by landfill –supposedly obtained from the ballast of ships, excess earth from the construction of the New York City subway system and elsewhere. Ellis Island is now a poetic symbol of the American Dream.
I really enjoy the tone of your voice. That being said, I think that it was a nice read, but be careful of those plosives. Especially whenever you make a ‘p’ sound. A pop screen on your mic will do wonders for that! Also, really work on enunciating every word like ‘New Jersey.’ Great work!!
Hi, Scott. I love the storytelling quality of your voice. A wise, kind, and avuncular sound. Perfect for these kind of narrations. Some comments on the read. I think you can slow down the first line. It felt very rushed. Take your time. You’re introducing us to the story with this interesting contrast. There’s quite a bit of up-speak on “landfill”. Like you were reading live for the first time and you were shocked by the word. I believe the phrasing should be thought of as: “Ellis Island was enlarged by landfill, excess earth from construction of the New York City subway system, and elsewhere.” with “supposedly obtained from the ballast of ships” as an aside. Thanks for sharing
Hello Tom: Sorry for such a late response. I will not be surprised if you don’t see this. But,I did want to thank you for this feedback. The comments on pace and ‘speak-up’ were insightful and most helpful.
I’ve mainly done commercial scripts, but I also want to work on Narration. What do you think? Did I come off as serious and fascinated? Is my recording setup still working well?
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
It’s a good start, especially with your choice of emphasized words, but I think you could benefit from two things- having a more conversational tone/pacing to the read and also tapping more into the emotional message of the copy. Even though we are familiar with all of the things in the script, staying true to the awe and reverence that the only planet that supports life inspires will help charge the script and make the entire read stronger as a whole (and keep the audience glued to the documentary they are watching)!
Hey everyone, I recorded another commercial script. How do I sound? Any feedback is appreciated.
Hurricane Harbor
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Hurricane Harbor. Bigger, Better, wetter than ever!
I agree with the other commenter- you’re so close to nailing it! Dialing in on the excitement and sustaining it through the entire copy will lock it in for you. Nice work!
Great read through! I think your voice would be great for a commercial like this. My note would be to work on really making the excitement in your voice authentic. You are so close. Just make sure to attach images in your head to the words you’re saying.
Practicing scripts from the script library. Thanks for any feedback!
Tina
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread
Everybody can use a little help when they’re out on the road- and that’s where MailBoxes Etcetera comes in. We get it done, and we get it done right. Mailboxes Etcetera.
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.
Really great work Tina, I love your voice and enthusiasm. One thing I noticed is that you go down in pitch after most words. Though this is necessary, I would recommend maintaining the same pitch, or even a bit higher at the end of important words or phrases. I don’t mean uptalk that you hear on reality TV, just very slight. Keep at it, cant wait to hear you on air.
Nice to meet you Tina. I think you have a very satisfying voice and your inflections were well placed. However, I think in all three of these scripts you come off as more of an announcer and that is generally not adviseable in voice acting. You need to sound like you’re talking directly to the listener, as if in conversation. Also, I hear a whole lot of breathing. When editing your recording, you should do whatever you can to eliminate superfluous noises so it’s mainly your voice that people are hearing. I hope this helps.