Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #64663
    RYoung
    Participant

    This is an example of a PSA with some emotion and caring attitude. Any thought are welcome, thanks.

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    • #64695
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      R: I really like this read. You have great, deep, rich tones in your voice. You also have an accent I can’t place, which is a positive–it’s a universal voice, so an international PSA works well. I love how you say “violence and oppression…their past defined by terror…” Great read. Sorry, can’t find a critique.

      • #64715
        RYoung
        Participant

        Thanks for listening Mitch.

  • #64657
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi everyone! It’s been a bit since I’ve posted. Currently working to get my recording levels right so I can record my first demo. Any and all feedback is welcome. This is one script read 4 ways. Which one do you like or not like? Thank you!!

    Mary

    International Coffees
    As soon as Colette threw the cup she realized her mistake. She could live without Jean Pierre, but that was her last cup of French Vanilla Café. International Coffees

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    • #64721
      sarahtranchina
      Participant

      Hey Mary! I liked the first read as well. I agree with Robert on the volume level. I would keep the normalization at -3db, but keep playing with the gain mic volume. One other note (probably because the volume was up) but I did also hear some mouth sounds… probably won’t hear it once your levels are set though! Nice job!

      • #64729
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Sarah! My gain was turned up higher than typical on for these, and in combination with normalization at -3db didn’t quite get it right. Yes I heard the mouth noises too; will work on that as I have not really heard them before the mic was turned up. Thanks for the tips!

        Mary

    • #64719
      Andrea
      Participant

      Hi Mary,

      I liked the first read. Maybe you could give equal weight to “last” and “cup” like you did in the other reads.
      It didn’t sound too loud to me. On the contrary, I had the impression that the first sentence in #2 and #3 was more silent than the rest.
      Nice work!

      Andrea

      • #64728
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Andrea! Good idea about emphasizing last and cup – it’s a short script and that does seem to be one of the main focal points. I do have some work to do on the sounds levels for sure. Thanks again!

        Mary

    • #64673
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Mary, That was good, but maybe a little too loud. Are you compressing your voice some?

      • #64680
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for listening Robert! I am trying to get my levels up to record for the demo without the need to use the Normalization effect, but then I normalized this file after increasing gain and mic volume, up to -3db, so I will try again without Normalizing and see if that makes a difference. I have not used any compression that I am aware of? Thank you!

        Mary

  • #64655
    artyom123
    Participant

    Please comment on my emotional connection to the text.. an area i’m struggling in and would appreciate any advice. Thanks so much community!

    Script:
    At Company Name, we define our legacy through the impact we make on people’s lives.

    We’ve challenged the status quo…
    focusing on helping people achieve financial well-being.

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    • #64725
      sarahtranchina
      Participant

      Hey there! I think you had a lovely emotional connection; you treated it with care and you can hear that. Very trustworthy! Awesome job!

    • #64708
      danielh04
      Participant

      I agree with RYoung, after the “status quo…” I felt like there was little to no pause when you continued, however you do have a nice calm voice that fits the script to show reliability to the listener.

    • #64671
      RYoung
      Participant

      I think you were doing well, but the script was short. Try a longer read and improvise to get a realistic style maybe? Another thing is enunciation and listening as you record with headphones, if you are using them try to record without them it helps more with delivery for me. Hope that helps!

    • #64659
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Artyom123, good read! I think it sounded like you were concerned and connected tp the script. I heard “We’re” instead of “We’ve”. Keep up the good work!

      Mary

  • #64648
    Andrea
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    Here’s my post again, with the right file type this time. This is my first homework assignment. I would love to hear your feedback on the quality of my read and my neutral English. My studio is not fully set up yet, so the acoustics might not be great. Thanks for your help!

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    • #64724
      sarahtranchina
      Participant

      Hey Andrea! I could feel your smile through the read, really lovely! I think you had a nice handle on the language as well, and you made it super exciting to listen to and gave it life! Great job!

    • #64660
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Andrea, very nice! It sounds nice and with good energy and inflection on words throughout, and would be a good read for kids. Good job!

      Mary

  • #64644
    Jbach
    Participant

    Hi. I’d welcome any and all feedback on these two reads please. Thanks!

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    • #64710
      danielh04
      Participant

      Both good reads, very nice quality, however I didn’t quite hear “experience” as enunciated as it should be. Though I’m aware that there’s quite a long list in the script, you handled it pretty well.

    • #64661
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Jbach, really nice! I really like the warmth and deep tone of your voice. It is very smooth and comforting. Really good clarity and pacing for both scripts, and good emphasis on words throughout both. Very good!

      Mary

  • #64637
    sarahtranchina
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’d love your feedback on the following take. I had gotten feedback on echo in the last recording I’d posted, still trying to figure out the fix for that. I would also love some tips on p’s and s’s because I can hear that I’m having a plosive issue. Thanks!

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    • #64694
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Hi Sarah! Thank you for your great feedback on my recent scripts. I’m still working on ‘talking to a friend’ (as I describe commenting on your comment below), and listening to this read by you really helps. You are totally talking to your roommate/bff, who is probably annoying you with her restless sleeping habits. Excellent read! Plosives? I have my good headphones on, and I thought you were minding your P’s and S’s swimmingly.

    • #64662
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Sarah, very nice! I could hear some plosives but not noticeable enough to point out. Really good tone for the script and very natural sounding. Nice!

      Mary

    • #64652
      JAE Factor
      Participant

      Hi Sarah, I could visualize the commercial as you were delivering the spot; it sounded natural. I did hear the echo you mentioned and I would recommend either trimming it or using a tool to reduce that particular sound – depending on the editing software you’re using.

      Otherwise, this was a good delivery, I liked it.

    • #64643
      ritadebur
      Participant

      Hi Sarah – love your voice too! Your read sounds very professional – the only thing is in the first sentence where you say ‘Up at 2am again?’ – it didn’t really sound like a question. But the rest of it had really good tone and the last statement had a good punch to it .’…fall asleep, STAY asleep!’It really sounded convincing – ie this really does work!
      I only heard one plosive on the very last word…

  • #64621
    Mitch_Crawford
    Participant

    Hey there! I’m looking for feedback on my delivery. I’m still not set up properly with regard to acoustics. These two short bits are for my coaching session this week. Thank you so much in advance–you won’t hurt my feelings.
    Script 1: Come to D***y Hands Garden Center for all your gardening needs. We carry hundreds of trees, perennials, garden art, accessories, and more! Visit us at Sycamore Square or on the web at dirtyhandsgardencenter.com. And remember: “Compost, because a rind is a terrible thing to waste.”
    Script 2: Wondering if you should get tested for colorectal cancer? Of cancers affecting both men and women, it’s the second leading cancer killer in the US. It doesn’t always cause symptoms, especially early on. So, don’t wait. If you’re 50 or older, it’s time. Go to cdc.gov/cancer/colorectal to find out more about colorectal cancer screening.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Mitch_Crawford. Reason: Previously uploaded wrong files
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    • #64654
      JAE Factor
      Participant

      Hey Mitch! I definitely enjoyed your delivery for Script 1. From the beginning I saw a salesperson waving me in with a smile on their face, especially with how you said, “Come to D***y Hands Garden Center…” One thing I would recommend is differentiating your list in the beginning to add some color and draw their interest in. Nevertheless, Script 1 was great!

      On Script 2, I could hear you aiming for a sincere tone at 0:13 and I like how you carried that through the thought, creating a sense of urgency.

      • #64687
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        Thanks Joseph! Love the recommendation to differentiate the list!

    • #64653
      RYoung
      Participant

      Mitch, first off thanks for the critique on my tomorrow read. I think I edited it out too much with without leaving some thoughtful pauses but anyway to your work! If I were you coach I would say I’d like you to connect more to the script as in telling someone about the garden center and then sarcastically mentioning the compost which is a turn in the script and would help finish it. The cancer read you probably just need to get more sympathetic you’re talking about a deadly cancer and begging someone to get screened for it right? Keep it up and thanks for sharing your work!
      Oh and by the way I’ll try to put up something to shoot an example of a PSA the cancer read you did.

      • #64688
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        R: Connecting to the script is def something my coach is helping me work on–good that you pointed that out! Would love to see the example…I’ll look for it!

    • #64641
      ritadebur
      Participant

      Hi Mitch – great voice! Love the varied pitch throughout script 1 – but I think the pause was a tad too long between ‘garden art’ and ‘accessories’. Agree with Sarah regarding script 2 – your voice is very suited to this genre. It comes across as trust worthy and persuasive 🙂

      • #64689
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        Thanks Rita! I’ve been working with lists, so that’s a very helpful comment!

    • #64632
      sarahtranchina
      Participant

      Hey Mitch! Great work on these! You have a nice energy and tone! I would work on finding personalization in Script 1 when you get to the listing of items so that it remains clear and focused and keeps our attention focused. In Script 2 I like your delivery. I can easily hear you in the PSA space. As another option I would try practicing it as if you were letting your best friend know about screening to see how that would add a different nuance. Pleasure to listen!

      • #64690
        Mitch_Crawford
        Participant

        Thank you Sarah! Good call on talking to a friend…I actually prefaced it with, “Hey Steve,…” then went into the reading. I find it difficult to tell my good friend about the screening in those words–I’d say it totally differently! 🙂 So that’s my challenge; to adapt in that way, talking to a friend or loved one using somebody else’s words. I’ll keep working on it! Thanks for the thoughts on the list, too; I’ll punch those items out differently. Great feedback.

  • #64616
    Toque
    Participant

    Hi all. Computer crashed last week, so waiting ’til the new one comes in next week. Meanwhile, am practicing using the AVR app on my iphone, so please focus feedback on style, approach to script, execution, is this type of script good for me, etc. Thank you! T.

    SCRIPT – Staples work life:

    Is work really good? Because it kind of looks bad. Good 
    doesn’t make you check your personality at the door. 
    Good wants you to bring it to work. Good is hustling 
    hard. Not because you have to, but because you’re 
    happy to.
    Start living the good work life. Staples.

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    • #64647
      Jbach
      Participant

      Toque, this is a great spot for you. Love your vocal quality. You might play around with using more of your lower register in places if it feels natural. I heard hints of it and it might add more variety to the story-telling.

    • #64633
      sarahtranchina
      Participant

      Hey, Toque! First of all you have an awesome vocal quality. I would maybe play around with pacing. I think your introductory pace on the first two lines was great and added to the comedy of it, but maybe pick up your pace as you go through the reasons why good is good. Not a terrible lot, but just ever so slightly so that we have a beginning thought and an arc that takes you to Staples being the good life. Thanks for sharing!

    • #64627
      Mitch_Crawford
      Participant

      Great read, Toque! Your voice is ideal for this spot. One thing I noticed that perhaps you could work on is the short, quick breaths I can hear between some words, like before the first word of each of the last four sentences (not including “Staples.”). My favorite part is your tone in the first two sentences–got my attention! Good stuff.

  • #64607
    carynbell
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    Just some coaching homework practice scripts. Apologize for any background noise. New student. Don’t have my home studio stuff yet. Thanks!!!!

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    • #64640
      ritadebur
      Participant

      Love your voice Caryn – it’s so soothing! The meditation one was a great choice for your voice with good pacing. For the city one, I felt the pace could be a little faster?

    • #64635
      sarahtranchina
      Participant

      Hey, Caryn! I agree with Toque, but I know you are working on your home studio set up so that’ll change! I think you are spot on with your voice type and the kind of material/spots it would lend itself to. Bravo!

    • #64619
      Toque
      Participant

      Great reads Caryn! My main note would be that your recording volume feels a tad low, making it a bit difficult to hear. What I could hear sounded pretty great! Toque

  • #64604
    carynbell
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    Just some coaching homework practice scripts. Apologize for any background noise. New student. Don’t have my home studio stuff yet. Thanks!!!!

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