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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Good evening everyone!
Submitting another commercial read for coaching session, all feedback welcome. Thank you 🙂-
Very nicely done! The measured pacing and silky smoothness of your voice definitely fit the copy and highlighted the aspects you wanted to sell the product with. There were only a few times that you may have taken a tiny bit too much space in between sentences though, and also the space in the last line (goddess – in you) made it almost two separate sentences. That is an especially important line to nail since it is their catchphrase- but as a whole you’re very close to nailing the entire spot exactly as you intended!
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I’m working to be more conversational and envision the imagery that corresponds to the audio. Any feedback is welcome! Thanks!
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Hello Mkell755,
Enjoyed listening to your Sears carpet commercial. Your tone of voice and delivery are very smooth and soothing to the ear. I think you emphasized all the right words and gave a convincing reason to shop at Sears.
Keep up the good work.
Elizabeth -
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Hello Everyone!
I tried a 7-11 script I found online for this one. Any feedback is welcome and appreciated. Thanks!
Script:
So it’s 2:00 in the morning…and you’re starving. Nothin’ in the fridge, and nothin’ in the cupboards. You don’t even have dog biscuits hangin’ around. You think about cooking, but then you remember the 3-alarm fire you started last time you tried using the stove. Well, check out 7-11. There’s gotta be one right near ya’. They have everything from burgers to tacos…24 hours a day…7 days a week. 7-11. Think of it as your own personal walk-in kitchen.
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Hi everyone! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Working on sounding relaxed, conversational, and adding some background audio. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
Miller Genuine Draft
There’s a secret society, where the night is eternal, the music is essential, and the party is non-stop. You could be the newest member. The Miller Genuine Draft music jet tour. Four parties, four cities, one unforgettable trip. Peel the label, enter the code at mgd.com and prepare for take-off.-
I was jamming from the beginnigng Mary! Great song choice paired with your voice. You also kept the energy up through out, and ended on a high note. Well done
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Hi Mary!
You definitely got the relaxed aspect in there and the background music was a nice touch! You sounded really clear and sounded great, but I definitely feel like a big smile while doing an up beat read like this would make it even better. The happiness and interest felt a little forced. All the best!
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I wanted to practice Slating and narrating a book, “Setting a Trap for G*d”. Please feel free to leave feedback. I’ll include the text here:
The Word for prayer in Aramaic is “slotha”. It comes from the root word “sla”, which literally means “to trap” or to “set a trap”. Thus, Prayer in its initial sense implies “setting your mind like a trap so that you may catch the thoughts of G*d”-in other words, “to trap the inner guidance and impulses that come from your inner spiritual source.”
Prayer also means “a state of mind in which we still all personal thoughts and make no attempt to project anything outwardly”. It is an “alert state of total sensitivity and attentiveness.”-
Great energy Luke. I would just say slow donw a big with transitioning sentences. You smushed a few of the starting words together, like “in other words”. But besides that the pacing was great for a educational read!
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Hello everyone,
Looking for feedback on my commercial practice. Lead ins, and everything, also if the mic sounds “too hot”. Thank you!-
You do a great job with the enthusiasm in your voice, advertising Six flags! At the end, I think there could be more enthusiasm in the word “yes”.
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Loved listening to this! Enthusiasm, pacing, and the emphasis on the right phrases, like “…paint the cat” were superb. I didn’t notice anything “hot” about your mic. If I had to nitpick, I would agree with SuperLuke that maybe a little more emphasis on the last “YES!” would really end things on a high note. Great work!
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Hi everyone! Looking for any and all feedback to this script. Working on getting the sound levels right, and sounding conversational. I did this one awhile back and hopefully this one is improved. Let me know what you think. Thank you!
Mary
Sears Carpets
OH! Welcome to my commercial. I just want to tell you about what a great experience I had buying new carpet from Sears. Well, I went to Sears and found that DuPont no-stain carpets were on sale through Saturday. They also offered free installation guaranteed. If you want one of America’s premiere carpet brands, just go to Sears. It’s DuPont Stainless in hundreds of colors and textures, on sale through Saturday, at Sears.-
Hello Mkell755,
I put this in the wrong place the other day so you may not have seen it.
Enjoyed listening to your Sears carpet commercial. Your tone of voice and delivery are very smooth and soothing to the ear. I think you emphasized all the right words and gave a convincing reason to shop at Sears.Keep up the good work.
Elizabeth -
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It’s a good performance. And I think you can improve on the performance so that you sound at your best
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Mary,
I think your loudness of recording is about right. Your read was easy to listen to and conversational. Good Job. I miss having sears here in WF.
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Hello- practice reads here, any feedback and suggestion are welcome. All reads are from the Edge Studio script library. Thank you!
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Hi John, good reads! I really like the tone of your voice and it seems very well suited for these genres.
Script 1: Good tone and pace. There were parts that sounded like you were reading vs. performing such as “…across the Golden Gate bridge” , otherwise really nice and informative.
Script 2: Great tone and delivery for this type of medical script.
Script 3: Good variation in your tone for the subject
Good job! Keep it up.Mary
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Hello all, still working on my emotion connection – story telling. Would love feedback on my read of this script:
One of the biggest threats to my company’s operations was the way we managed risk. Our risk management system was spread over multiple platforms, which caused a lot of information gaps and siloed data and communications among our teams. Then Risk and Compliance came in. By relying on their expertise, our risk management system became an asset instead of a source of complexity.
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