Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello everyone,
Looking for feedback on my commercial practice. Lead ins, and everything, also if the mic sounds “too hot”. Thank you!-
You do a great job with the enthusiasm in your voice, advertising Six flags! At the end, I think there could be more enthusiasm in the word “yes”.
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Loved listening to this! Enthusiasm, pacing, and the emphasis on the right phrases, like “…paint the cat” were superb. I didn’t notice anything “hot” about your mic. If I had to nitpick, I would agree with SuperLuke that maybe a little more emphasis on the last “YES!” would really end things on a high note. Great work!
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Hi everyone! Looking for any and all feedback to this script. Working on getting the sound levels right, and sounding conversational. I did this one awhile back and hopefully this one is improved. Let me know what you think. Thank you!
Mary
Sears Carpets
OH! Welcome to my commercial. I just want to tell you about what a great experience I had buying new carpet from Sears. Well, I went to Sears and found that DuPont no-stain carpets were on sale through Saturday. They also offered free installation guaranteed. If you want one of America’s premiere carpet brands, just go to Sears. It’s DuPont Stainless in hundreds of colors and textures, on sale through Saturday, at Sears.-
Hello Mkell755,
I put this in the wrong place the other day so you may not have seen it.
Enjoyed listening to your Sears carpet commercial. Your tone of voice and delivery are very smooth and soothing to the ear. I think you emphasized all the right words and gave a convincing reason to shop at Sears.Keep up the good work.
Elizabeth -
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It’s a good performance. And I think you can improve on the performance so that you sound at your best
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Mary,
I think your loudness of recording is about right. Your read was easy to listen to and conversational. Good Job. I miss having sears here in WF.
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Hello- practice reads here, any feedback and suggestion are welcome. All reads are from the Edge Studio script library. Thank you!
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Hi John, good reads! I really like the tone of your voice and it seems very well suited for these genres.
Script 1: Good tone and pace. There were parts that sounded like you were reading vs. performing such as “…across the Golden Gate bridge” , otherwise really nice and informative.
Script 2: Great tone and delivery for this type of medical script.
Script 3: Good variation in your tone for the subject
Good job! Keep it up.Mary
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Hello all, still working on my emotion connection – story telling. Would love feedback on my read of this script:
One of the biggest threats to my company’s operations was the way we managed risk. Our risk management system was spread over multiple platforms, which caused a lot of information gaps and siloed data and communications among our teams. Then Risk and Compliance came in. By relying on their expertise, our risk management system became an asset instead of a source of complexity.
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Hi Sarah,
Vocalizing groupings of items is an art form in itself.
And this script has lots of lists, even some that are nested.Teach you the cure for writer’s block
the recipe for lobster ravioli
beef wellington
How to lead a company
train your dog
pick a paint color
a perfect song
a new careerUsing pitch, inflection, and pacing can make the group members more obvious.
I say all that to say that in at least one place, an element is separated from the
rest of its list. ‘Pick a paint color’ seems to be haning on its own, leaving
‘a perfect song’ with no linkage or context. Were you to transition into ‘a perfect
song’ the way you transition into ‘a new career’, the entire group comes together
under the group ‘pick’.Full disclosure: I am not a director. But a good one would help you understand
how to use pitch and pacing and tempo to make these kinds of lists of lists
coherent and engaging at the same time. (OMT, be mindful of your P’s…!)
You have an absolutely wonderful, clear, articulate voice. And I look forward
very much to hearing more from you.TimG
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Hi Sarah, very nice! You have a nice light voice that is friendly and easy to listen to. I would suggest trying it with a bit more excitement and enthusiasm, like you are telling a friend about this really cool great new thing that she really needs to know about!! It sounds nice but not persuasive enough. Good job on this!
Mary
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Hey eglover! Wow wow wow what a voice! I agree with Shmuel that it just felt a little trippy over some words. You may deal with this from time to time because you have that beautiful lower register where it’s sometimes more work to pump those words out clearly so I’d definitely slow down the pace a touch to get them all. You’re awesome!
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Hi eg, right at the beginning, I thought I was listening to a national radio ad. Very good. One tweak i would consider, from sec. 18 to about 22 you sound slightly like you are rushing it, and kind of tripping over the words. The effect is very slight, and I think I only hear it because I was listening very closely. YMMV.
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You have a great voice in the performance. Maybe sound more relaxed, like you just took an advil that cured your headache, and you might try to sound hurt at first and cured on cue after taking the pill. You sounded super fast towards the end too, which made my attention drift. But all in all, I liked the radio guy type commercial I was hearing
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Hello everyone, here’s a little more commercial homework. Please share any feedback you may have!
Many many thanks,
John
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Thanks for any feedback!
Habitat For Humanity
Script:
Every 7 minutes around the world, Habitat for Humanity serves a family in need of decent housing. Affordable housing solutions might differ from place to place, but to the families who dream of them, help build them and eventually inhabit them, they all add up to just one thing. Home. -
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Del Monte
My granddad built this farm way back in the late 1800s. He had a policy of producing only the finest quality fruits and vegetables. That’s why people began to know and enjoy the name Del Monte. … Well, today, the farm is mine — and ya’ know, I still carry on the proud tradition of only the finest fruits and vegetables. DEL MONTE — only the finest.
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This one is a political spot. Its not my worldview; just challenging myself. Any feedback would be welcome.
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