[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 days, 16 hours ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 days, 16 hours ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 days, 16 hours ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 days, 18 hours ago by David Goldberg.

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[adrothfield]

Hi all!

Looking for feedback on performance only. I’m specifically working to make this more conversational and natural. Any and all advice is appreciated! Thanks!

At Great Wolf Lodge, you can swim, splash, revitalize, cast spells, and be surprised all under one roof. It’s a pretty big roof. Visit greatwolf.com today to plan your next summer getaway.

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[Erik B]

Hi, your voice sounds great, and matches well with the copy. You differentiated the words in the series nicely, and the tone of the read was great. My only suggestion would be to maybe slow down the tempo just a little bit. But overall you did a good job.

[ritadebur]

Hi – i love your voice – it sounds natural and was conversational until towards the end (….your next summer getaway) where I felt it sort of dropped off a little bit. Also I felt the ‘m’ at the end of swim was a bit long.

[adrothfield]

Hi all!

Looking for feedback on performance only. I’m specifically working to make this more conversational and natural. Any and all advice is appreciated! Thanks!

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[monibr16]

Good evening everyone!
Submitting another commercial read for coaching session, all feedback welcome. Thank you 🙂

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[CYeschenko]

Very nicely done! The measured pacing and silky smoothness of your voice definitely fit the copy and highlighted the aspects you wanted to sell the product with. There were only a few times that you may have taken a tiny bit too much space in between sentences though, and also the space in the last line (goddess – in you) made it almost two separate sentences. That is an especially important line to nail since it is their catchphrase- but as a whole you’re very close to nailing the entire spot exactly as you intended!

[monibr16]

Thank you so much for your advice! Those are a few tendencies I’m trying to change.

[cbehrens]

I’m working to be more conversational and envision the imagery that corresponds to the audio. Any feedback is welcome! Thanks!

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[monibr16]

Great read! It definitely had conversational moments, but I feel like you can be even more specific with your audience of choice.I noticed the echo as well, but thats an easy fix. Good job overall!

[timmurphy306]

I really loved your phrasing on this read. The way you emphasize the right words really gives a nice flow to the whole piece, very conversational and natural. I would slow your pacing, though, it sounded a little rushed. I also noticed some echo, too. Maybe a few more blankets in the room?

[Eliz_10]

Hello Mkell755,

Enjoyed listening to your Sears carpet commercial. Your tone of voice and delivery are very smooth and soothing to the ear. I think you emphasized all the right words and gave a convincing reason to shop at Sears.

Keep up the good work.
Elizabeth

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Elizabeth! I’m glad it sounded smooth, soothing and convincing! Thanks again,

Mary

[Akingsley19]

Hello Everyone!

I tried a 7-11 script I found online for this one. Any feedback is welcome and appreciated. Thanks!

Script:

So it’s 2:00 in the morning…and you’re starving. Nothin’ in the fridge, and nothin’ in the cupboards. You don’t even have dog biscuits hangin’ around. You think about cooking, but then you remember the 3-alarm fire you started last time you tried using the stove. Well, check out 7-11. There’s gotta be one right near ya’. They have everything from burgers to tacos…24 hours a day…7 days a week. 7-11. Think of it as your own personal walk-in kitchen.

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[cbehrens]

Hi Akingsley! I also thought this was very relatable and connected to the audience. I was able to visualize the images throughout. Well done!

[mkell755]

Hi Akingsley, good job! I really liked the pacing and attitude throughout, it was very believable and relatable with just the right amount of neighbor next door vibe. Very good!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi everyone! Here is a script for any and all feedback. Working on sounding relaxed, conversational, and adding some background audio. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

Mary

Miller Genuine Draft
There’s a secret society, where the night is eternal, the music is essential, and the party is non-stop. You could be the newest member. The Miller Genuine Draft music jet tour. Four parties, four cities, one unforgettable trip. Peel the label, enter the code at mgd.com and prepare for take-off.

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[monibr16]

I was jamming from the beginnigng Mary! Great song choice paired with your voice. You also kept the energy up through out, and ended on a high note. Well done

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Monibr16! I’ve been having fun selecting music that fits the vibe I was going for, so thank you! Glad the energy sounded good – that has been a struggle in the past for me. Thank you!

Mary

[Akingsley19]

Hi Mary!

You definitely got the relaxed aspect in there and the background music was a nice touch! You sounded really clear and sounded great, but I definitely feel like a big smile while doing an up beat read like this would make it even better. The happiness and interest felt a little forced. All the best!

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback AKingsley! I’m glad it is sounding relaxed, yes a bigger smile while reading would help this one. I was trying to imagine winning this trip and it really does sound like something I would like to do, so I was trying to convey that. Thanks!

Mary

[SuperLuke]

I wanted to practice Slating and narrating a book, “Setting a Trap for G*d”. Please feel free to leave feedback. I’ll include the text here:

The Word for prayer in Aramaic is “slotha”. It comes from the root word “sla”, which literally means “to trap” or to “set a trap”. Thus, Prayer in its initial sense implies “setting your mind like a trap so that you may catch the thoughts of G*d”-in other words, “to trap the inner guidance and impulses that come from your inner spiritual source.”
Prayer also means “a state of mind in which we still all personal thoughts and make no attempt to project anything outwardly”. It is an “alert state of total sensitivity and attentiveness.”

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[monibr16]

Great energy Luke. I would just say slow donw a big with transitioning sentences. You smushed a few of the starting words together, like “in other words”. But besides that the pacing was great for a educational read!

[SuperLuke]

thank you for your comment

[monibr16]

Hello everyone,
Looking for feedback on my commercial practice. Lead ins, and everything, also if the mic sounds “too hot”. Thank you!

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[SuperLuke]

You do a great job with the enthusiasm in your voice, advertising Six flags! At the end, I think there could be more enthusiasm in the word “yes”.

[monibr16]

Thank you Luke!

[timmurphy306]

Loved listening to this! Enthusiasm, pacing, and the emphasis on the right phrases, like “…paint the cat” were superb. I didn’t notice anything “hot” about your mic. If I had to nitpick, I would agree with SuperLuke that maybe a little more emphasis on the last “YES!” would really end things on a high note. Great work!

[mkell755]

Hi everyone! Looking for any and all feedback to this script. Working on getting the sound levels right, and sounding conversational. I did this one awhile back and hopefully this one is improved. Let me know what you think. Thank you!

Mary

Sears Carpets
OH! Welcome to my commercial. I just want to tell you about what a great experience I had buying new carpet from Sears. Well, I went to Sears and found that DuPont no-stain carpets were on sale through Saturday. They also offered free installation guaranteed. If you want one of America’s premiere carpet brands, just go to Sears. It’s DuPont Stainless in hundreds of colors and textures, on sale through Saturday, at Sears.

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[Eliz_10]

Hello Mkell755,
I put this in the wrong place the other day so you may not have seen it.
Enjoyed listening to your Sears carpet commercial. Your tone of voice and delivery are very smooth and soothing to the ear. I think you emphasized all the right words and gave a convincing reason to shop at Sears.

Keep up the good work.
Elizabeth

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Elizabeth! I saw your feedback, and thank you! Working to sound more conversational and convincing, so thank you for that! Thanks again for takign the time to write your comments twice – they don’t always post to the right place 🙂

Mary

[SuperLuke]

It’s a good performance. And I think you can improve on the performance so that you sound at your best

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback SuperLuke! I will work on this one a bit more – there is always room for improvement! 🙂

Mary

[Robert Broussard]

Mary,

I think your loudness of recording is about right. Your read was easy to listen to and conversational. Good Job. I miss having sears here in WF.

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Robert! Glad the recording level is sounding ok, and that it’s a little more conversational. Sears was an institution for sure!

Mary

[Author]

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