Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everyone! Here are 2 recordings for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational, getting the tone right, pacing, mood, all of it. Let me know what you think. Thank you!!
Mary
Mercury Topaz
It takes more than a single commercial to completely discuss all the advantages of any car. One car recognizes that reality. That car is the Mercury Topaz. Topaz’s approach is quite interesting. It combines front wheel drive, smart traction, and rear suspension. The result is a ride that helps you isolate shock from the driver, while maintaining a superb feel of the road. MERCURY TOPAZ…reaching new heights in automotive technology.Audio Associates
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Agree with what others have said here, mkell. You have a nice voice to listen to. I thought your second read was better than the Topza commercial. On that one, I personally think you could ramp up the cool/s**y factor and vary your pitch inflection more, as was mentioned above.
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Hi Mary,
You have a pleasant tone and your voice is easy to listen to. There were some opportunities to add variety to the pace and pitch in a few sentences that would have changed the feel of both reads. In the Mercury read “One car recognizes that reality.” feels like it should be stated definitively. In Audio Associates, Listen sounds natural the second time you say it, but has no emotion the first time. You’re on the right track!
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Hi Mary!
I thought it was very clear and its obvious that you have been practicing :), good job! I did feel like it was maybe a little obvious that you were reading. Try to imagine speaking to a friend or family member about this new product that you’re excited about and maybe even practice it a few times with a lead in to keep you in the mindset of your normal speech pattern.
-Sherry -
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Hello Mary! you sound very clear but I can tell that both scripts are being read. I heard alot of punctuation pauses as well. I am also working on sounding more conversational. So don’t take my word for it. But you sound very nice and clear. I included an attachment of my attempt to sound conversational with your script. Let me know if I sound conversational at all to you.
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Hi, Your feedback for the following is welcomed and appreciated…thx!
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American Express
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I had the impression that the echo was affecting my evaluation of the read, which seemed really good otherwise. I liked your energy and how much variation in pitch inflection you demonstrated. On the first recording I would land harder on the word “KEEPS it that way.” I am not a great person to give advice on audio equipment but I am getting good results from a higher-end USB mic. Much better than just using the built-in laptop mic.
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Hey 🙂
I thought you sounded pretty good overall. I liked the pacing and the smile. On the Purina read, I felt like you lost a little energy just right at the end. Also, maybe it just didn’t come through very clear, but really make sure you pronounce Purina well.
-Sherry -
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Hi Julie, good reads! I’m hearing a little bit of echo in your recordings. I like your energy in both reads – good pacing and emphasis on key words for both. Good smile in your voice for the second script – good job!
Mary
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Thanks Mary! I was trying to practice finding/hitting some key words so glad that there was some success! 🙂
I am just recording off of laptop speakers, do you have any suggestions on equipment?
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Hi Julie! Sorry it took me so long to respond back to your question, I hope you see this! I was practicing for about 3 months, recording on a free app on my cell phone before I got my first mic, interface, real headphones and PIB (portable isolation booth). Once I started listening through the headphones / interface I could hear so much more vs. just my desktop speakers, which are ok (small Bose set) but harder to hear over other room noise for me. I took the Home Studio 101 class with Dan a while back and took good notes; he has great suggestions. Then I worked with Sweetwater (they have excellent customer service, and no I do not work there or have any connection with the company). They are super helpful in working with you. I suggest the Home Studio 101 class through Edge as it gives you the basics of what to look for once you get your studio set up. I could go on and on! Will check back later. Thanks!
Mary
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Continued practice! Any comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance and the style of read- I am much more comfortable with commercial reads and narration, so working on corporate materials is to help broaden the scope of work that I am able to record. Thanks!
Upstart Corporate Conference
Welcome back everyone. In this next segment, we’re going to be looking at the evolution of our selling methodology. Like we said before, UpStart’s target demographic is millennials, and how they want to be sold to is unlike any generation before them.
In fact, many of you may be millennials, or be just like millennials yourselves – and that’s why you’re a good fit for this job. You’re the kind of consumer who is checking online reviews, looking at a company’s Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, and really buying into a company’s branding and ethos before you’re ‘sold.’
That’s why UpStart preaches a relationship-focused sales strategy. We will equip you with the time, resources and backup to build strong, authentic relationships with potential clients, instead of pushing a product at all costs.
It’s integral that our clients have a real, normal human first interaction with our sales staff, where we simply tell them what we’re offering, and educate them on the state of the startup scene in their market. It’s absolutely vital that you don’t rush the first date at UpStart. Interested clients have seen our Instagram ads, they get it.
We want to make them feel like they’re having a link up with a buddy in a coffee shop.-
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You have a really nice tone of voice for this and a very marketable voice at that. I think you could warm it up a bit, it sounds more like a documentary piece which is typically read more “matter of factly” without bringing in your personal opinions into it and letting the listener figure out how they feel about what you are presenting on their own. I think you can guide the listener into feeling how you feel about this content. Right now you sound distant from it, like an observer. Can you warm it up, bring a smile to your face and connect more with the copy? I think this will help people to stay engaged in this “eLearning” style script. Right now you sound a little bit bored about what you’re talking about. I’d love to hear this again with this feedback applied, I think you can totally nail it.
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Hello All,
This is my first time posting to the feedback forum. I’m following through on my coaches instructions and seeking any feedback you’re willing to offer. Thanks in advance.
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Hi John, first of all, welcome to the forum!
Your voice is nice, rich, and very warm. I could tell you were delivering the first script about Jamaica with a nice smile in your voice. It was friendly and comforting, and had good variation of tone in the lists. I liked the Good RX read too and would agree that it sounded just a little bit rushed, but both were very really nice!
Mary
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I posted this one last year from an audition I did. there is no history from the old forum so reposting it, any comments are most welcome!
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Hello everyone! Here are some commercials I recorded for practice. Thank you so much in advance for your feedback!
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Yeah, really liked the Travelocity spot. You seem to have really good command over your different “voices”… Sounds to me like someone with some acting experience or training. It’s a long spot, so I would work on keeping your energy level up for the duration. I think it could use even a bit more aggressive variation in pitch. But overall it sounded really good. If I heard this on TV or online I would think it was a pro!
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Awesome work! Your voice is extremely clear and you nailed most of what you set out to achieve with this copy. The only notes I have would be small shifts that are just personal preferences- for example, the congratulations at the beginning of the first one sounds like a different thought than the full sentence, and in the second perhaps the tone on “how about 300 horses” could be shifted to make the joke land even better? The car is the solution for the problem of you always wanting horses as a kid, so punching the solution would make sense. For the horses line, perhaps a touch more snarky or even a hint of cockiness? These are small, finishing touches that might make it even better- but it is already pretty solid as is!
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This is an add for Royal Bank Canadian – Avion. Only the VO part, which is designed to be accopanied by various visuals. Here is the text:
VO: Most of life, isn’t like this.VO: It doesn’t look like this.
VO: Taste like this.
VO: Or sound, like this.
VO: And when was the last time… you felt like this?
VO: Special moments like these are far from the everyday.
VO: To relax, appreciate, explore, and get in touch with what really matters.
VO: Our vacation time, is the most important time we have.
VO: Make the most of your travel.
VO: With more value. More freedom. More rewards.
VO: RBC Avion-
I thought it was really great. I closed my eyes and could imagine the accompanying visuals. I think you made all the right choices.
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Great work as a whole- the second half in particular was well connected and connected to the message of the copy. My main note would be slow down just a touch on the first four “this” lines and find an extremely specific mental image for each one. If you can lock in what each one means to you or have a clear image of what would be showing as you’re saying the lines, you can dial in your read even more and hook the listener from the beginning. Keep it up!
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Hi, all!
This is my first time using the Feedback Forum! I would appreciate any critiques and suggestions regarding my technique, as I do not yet have a home studio (I’m recording off of my phone). Thank you so much!
Kindly,
Libby-
Really liked all three reads, Libby! In the Revlon spot you showcased a lot of pitch variation, and the choices all made sense to me. Same with Butterball. Then, I listened to Asthma, and the tone was drastically different but appropriately serious and empathetic. I honestly think you nailed them all. Well done. Your phone records pretty well!
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Hi there! Looking for feedback on performance. Thanks so much!
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