Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 9 months, 4 weeks ago by
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This topic was modified 9 months, 4 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 9 months, 4 weeks ago by
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April 7, 2021 at 10:55 pm #65963
mkell755
ParticipantHi everyone! Here are 2 recordings for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational, getting the tone right, pacing, mood, all of it. Let me know what you think. Thank you!!
Mary
Mercury Topaz
It takes more than a single commercial to completely discuss all the advantages of any car. One car recognizes that reality. That car is the Mercury Topaz. Topaz’s approach is quite interesting. It combines front wheel drive, smart traction, and rear suspension. The result is a ride that helps you isolate shock from the driver, while maintaining a superb feel of the road. MERCURY TOPAZ…reaching new heights in automotive technology.Audio Associates
Listen… What do you hear? Nothing. No noise … digital audio purity. The new digital enhanced audio systems from Panasonic will change the way you listen to music. Now listen… What do you hear? Every nuance … crystal clear … like it was meant to sound. So sit down, relax, close your eyes, and get ready for the digital enhanced audio systems from Panasonic. Only at AUDIO ASSOCIATES… there’s no mistaking our sound.Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:30 pm #66041
jasjol71
ParticipantAgree with what others have said here, mkell. You have a nice voice to listen to. I thought your second read was better than the Topza commercial. On that one, I personally think you could ramp up the cool/s**y factor and vary your pitch inflection more, as was mentioned above.
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April 9, 2021 at 10:18 am #66031
Johnwatkis
ParticipantHi Mary,
You have a pleasant tone and your voice is easy to listen to. There were some opportunities to add variety to the pace and pitch in a few sentences that would have changed the feel of both reads. In the Mercury read “One car recognizes that reality.” feels like it should be stated definitively. In Audio Associates, Listen sounds natural the second time you say it, but has no emotion the first time. You’re on the right track!
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April 8, 2021 at 1:43 pm #66000
Sherry Newell
ParticipantHi Mary!
I thought it was very clear and its obvious that you have been practicing :), good job! I did feel like it was maybe a little obvious that you were reading. Try to imagine speaking to a friend or family member about this new product that you’re excited about and maybe even practice it a few times with a lead in to keep you in the mindset of your normal speech pattern.
-Sherry -
April 8, 2021 at 10:30 am #65976
Official81
ParticipantHello Mary! you sound very clear but I can tell that both scripts are being read. I heard alot of punctuation pauses as well. I am also working on sounding more conversational. So don’t take my word for it. But you sound very nice and clear. I included an attachment of my attempt to sound conversational with your script. Let me know if I sound conversational at all to you.
Attachments:
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April 14, 2021 at 9:56 pm #66274
mkell755
ParticipantThanks for your feedback Official81! I am definitely working on sounding more conversational without sounding like I’m trying, which is challenging for me. Thanks for including your example, it was nice and flowed well, definitely conversational. Thanks!
Mary
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April 8, 2021 at 10:31 am #65978
Official81
ParticipantI didn’t complete any edits it is totally raw.
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April 8, 2021 at 8:24 pm #66023
Lilbelle1487
ParticipantI really like your energy, but it seems rushed and as if you are running out of air. And I got lost a couple times, had to re listen, however your end is really well done.
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April 14, 2021 at 9:58 pm #66275
mkell755
ParticipantThanks for your feedback Lilbelle! Yes I do sometimes run out of air, which is so weird to me (I work out, I promise!), but in an effort to not make excessive noise I can almost hold me breath when I really need to breathe. Definitely needs practice. Thanks again!
Mary
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April 7, 2021 at 8:54 pm #65953
juliees206@gmail.com
ParticipantHi, Your feedback for the following is welcomed and appreciated…thx!
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American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.Purina One Brand 2
Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:33 pm #66042
jasjol71
ParticipantI had the impression that the echo was affecting my evaluation of the read, which seemed really good otherwise. I liked your energy and how much variation in pitch inflection you demonstrated. On the first recording I would land harder on the word “KEEPS it that way.” I am not a great person to give advice on audio equipment but I am getting good results from a higher-end USB mic. Much better than just using the built-in laptop mic.
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April 13, 2021 at 9:12 pm #66221
juliees206@gmail.com
ParticipantThank you so much for your feedback and suggestion for the first reading. I will definitely look for a USB mic too!
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April 8, 2021 at 1:36 pm #65999
Sherry Newell
ParticipantHey 🙂
I thought you sounded pretty good overall. I liked the pacing and the smile. On the Purina read, I felt like you lost a little energy just right at the end. Also, maybe it just didn’t come through very clear, but really make sure you pronounce Purina well.
-Sherry-
April 13, 2021 at 9:15 pm #66222
juliees206@gmail.com
ParticipantThank you so much, I’ll be sure to keep the energy up at end/Purina pronunciation. 🙂
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April 7, 2021 at 11:04 pm #65966
mkell755
ParticipantHi Julie, good reads! I’m hearing a little bit of echo in your recordings. I like your energy in both reads – good pacing and emphasis on key words for both. Good smile in your voice for the second script – good job!
Mary
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April 8, 2021 at 10:03 am #65975
juliees206@gmail.com
ParticipantThanks Mary! I was trying to practice finding/hitting some key words so glad that there was some success! 🙂
I am just recording off of laptop speakers, do you have any suggestions on equipment?
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April 14, 2021 at 10:10 pm #66279
mkell755
ParticipantHi Julie! Sorry it took me so long to respond back to your question, I hope you see this! I was practicing for about 3 months, recording on a free app on my cell phone before I got my first mic, interface, real headphones and PIB (portable isolation booth). Once I started listening through the headphones / interface I could hear so much more vs. just my desktop speakers, which are ok (small Bose set) but harder to hear over other room noise for me. I took the Home Studio 101 class with Dan a while back and took good notes; he has great suggestions. Then I worked with Sweetwater (they have excellent customer service, and no I do not work there or have any connection with the company). They are super helpful in working with you. I suggest the Home Studio 101 class through Edge as it gives you the basics of what to look for once you get your studio set up. I could go on and on! Will check back later. Thanks!
Mary
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April 7, 2021 at 5:07 pm #65945
CYeschenko
ParticipantContinued practice! Any comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance and the style of read- I am much more comfortable with commercial reads and narration, so working on corporate materials is to help broaden the scope of work that I am able to record. Thanks!
Upstart Corporate Conference
Welcome back everyone. In this next segment, we’re going to be looking at the evolution of our selling methodology. Like we said before, UpStart’s target demographic is millennials, and how they want to be sold to is unlike any generation before them.
In fact, many of you may be millennials, or be just like millennials yourselves – and that’s why you’re a good fit for this job. You’re the kind of consumer who is checking online reviews, looking at a company’s Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, and really buying into a company’s branding and ethos before you’re ‘sold.’
That’s why UpStart preaches a relationship-focused sales strategy. We will equip you with the time, resources and backup to build strong, authentic relationships with potential clients, instead of pushing a product at all costs.
It’s integral that our clients have a real, normal human first interaction with our sales staff, where we simply tell them what we’re offering, and educate them on the state of the startup scene in their market. It’s absolutely vital that you don’t rush the first date at UpStart. Interested clients have seen our Instagram ads, they get it.
We want to make them feel like they’re having a link up with a buddy in a coffee shop.Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:35 pm #66043
jasjol71
ParticipantVery nice. I have little to add to the previous comments, which I totally agree with. Great voice/timbre for this genre and appropriate pacing. I think Katelyn already gave tons of good advice.
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April 8, 2021 at 4:18 pm #66015
mara_sherman
ParticipantYour tone is great, and you speak very clearly. It’s just a little fast. You may want to slow down just a tad.
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April 7, 2021 at 11:08 pm #65967
mkell755
ParticipantHi Cyeschenko, really well done! You have a great voice for this genre. Very clear, understandable and approachable. The pacing was great too – quick enough to inform without boring the listener. I was really buying into the approach presented. Well done!
Mary
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April 7, 2021 at 9:50 pm #65956
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantYou have a really nice tone of voice for this and a very marketable voice at that. I think you could warm it up a bit, it sounds more like a documentary piece which is typically read more “matter of factly” without bringing in your personal opinions into it and letting the listener figure out how they feel about what you are presenting on their own. I think you can guide the listener into feeling how you feel about this content. Right now you sound distant from it, like an observer. Can you warm it up, bring a smile to your face and connect more with the copy? I think this will help people to stay engaged in this “eLearning” style script. Right now you sound a little bit bored about what you’re talking about. I’d love to hear this again with this feedback applied, I think you can totally nail it.
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April 7, 2021 at 5:39 pm #65948
RYoung
ParticipantExcellent delivery on this narration corporate style.
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April 7, 2021 at 3:49 pm #65938
Johnwatkis
ParticipantHello All,
This is my first time posting to the feedback forum. I’m following through on my coaches instructions and seeking any feedback you’re willing to offer. Thanks in advance.
Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:52 pm #66052
jasjol71
ParticipantIncredible depth of voice, and I really liked the way you infused both reads with personality. With a little tropical music in the background that Jamaica read would sound awesome on a demo.
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April 7, 2021 at 11:13 pm #65968
mkell755
ParticipantHi John, first of all, welcome to the forum!
Your voice is nice, rich, and very warm. I could tell you were delivering the first script about Jamaica with a nice smile in your voice. It was friendly and comforting, and had good variation of tone in the lists. I liked the Good RX read too and would agree that it sounded just a little bit rushed, but both were very really nice!
Mary
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April 7, 2021 at 5:34 pm #65947
RYoung
ParticipantThe Good RX read was authentic and resonate, I would just slow down to drive home your points, nice work!
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April 7, 2021 at 3:02 pm #65928
RYoung
ParticipantI posted this one last year from an audition I did. there is no history from the old forum so reposting it, any comments are most welcome!
Weelearn
Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more.
Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
Weelearn – learning through watching.Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 9:09 pm #66068
Johnwatkis
ParticipantHello RYoung,
Great resonance, pacing, and overall vocal quality. The read felt friendly and inviting. If I would suggest anything, it might be playing with your higher register when you finish a couple sentences. I’m nitpicking. That is all I would offer for “next time” with this read.
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April 9, 2021 at 4:06 pm #66053
RYoung
ParticipantThanks both, appreciate your listening!
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April 9, 2021 at 2:38 pm #66044
jasjol71
ParticipantTried to find something to critique, but honestly couldn’t! Very well done!
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April 7, 2021 at 11:17 pm #65969
mkell755
ParticipantHi RYoung, good job and production! Your voice is nice and comforting for this genre. Good pacing and energy throughout. Great job!
Mary
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April 7, 2021 at 1:19 pm #65923
mara_sherman
ParticipantHello everyone! Here are some commercials I recorded for practice. Thank you so much in advance for your feedback!
Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:42 pm #66045
jasjol71
ParticipantYeah, really liked the Travelocity spot. You seem to have really good command over your different “voices”… Sounds to me like someone with some acting experience or training. It’s a long spot, so I would work on keeping your energy level up for the duration. I think it could use even a bit more aggressive variation in pitch. But overall it sounded really good. If I heard this on TV or online I would think it was a pro!
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April 8, 2021 at 1:54 pm #66006
Sherry Newell
ParticipantThat was great! When you get to the list that starts at “you’ll have over …”, see if you can practice that a couple different ways to smooth it out just a bit. I really enjoyed your overall take on the tone.
-Sherry -
April 7, 2021 at 11:21 pm #65970
mkell755
ParticipantHi Mara, great job! I love the energy and attitude for both scripts – very believable and relatable and your voice is really well-suited for both. You had a good smile in your voice that in turn made me smile while listening – good job on these!
Mary
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April 7, 2021 at 4:52 pm #65943
CYeschenko
ParticipantAwesome work! Your voice is extremely clear and you nailed most of what you set out to achieve with this copy. The only notes I have would be small shifts that are just personal preferences- for example, the congratulations at the beginning of the first one sounds like a different thought than the full sentence, and in the second perhaps the tone on “how about 300 horses” could be shifted to make the joke land even better? The car is the solution for the problem of you always wanting horses as a kid, so punching the solution would make sense. For the horses line, perhaps a touch more snarky or even a hint of cockiness? These are small, finishing touches that might make it even better- but it is already pretty solid as is!
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April 7, 2021 at 8:47 am #65910
Shmuel
ParticipantThis is an add for Royal Bank Canadian – Avion. Only the VO part, which is designed to be accopanied by various visuals. Here is the text:
VO: Most of life, isn’t like this.VO: It doesn’t look like this.
VO: Taste like this.
VO: Or sound, like this.
VO: And when was the last time… you felt like this?
VO: Special moments like these are far from the everyday.
VO: To relax, appreciate, explore, and get in touch with what really matters.
VO: Our vacation time, is the most important time we have.
VO: Make the most of your travel.
VO: With more value. More freedom. More rewards.
VO: RBC AvionAttachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:44 pm #66047
jasjol71
ParticipantI thought it was really great. I closed my eyes and could imagine the accompanying visuals. I think you made all the right choices.
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April 7, 2021 at 5:01 pm #65944
CYeschenko
ParticipantGreat work as a whole- the second half in particular was well connected and connected to the message of the copy. My main note would be slow down just a touch on the first four “this” lines and find an extremely specific mental image for each one. If you can lock in what each one means to you or have a clear image of what would be showing as you’re saying the lines, you can dial in your read even more and hook the listener from the beginning. Keep it up!
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April 7, 2021 at 7:45 am #65905
Libby Ronon
ParticipantHi, all!
This is my first time using the Feedback Forum! I would appreciate any critiques and suggestions regarding my technique, as I do not yet have a home studio (I’m recording off of my phone). Thank you so much!
Kindly,
LibbyAttachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:48 pm #66050
jasjol71
ParticipantReally liked all three reads, Libby! In the Revlon spot you showcased a lot of pitch variation, and the choices all made sense to me. Same with Butterball. Then, I listened to Asthma, and the tone was drastically different but appropriately serious and empathetic. I honestly think you nailed them all. Well done. Your phone records pretty well!
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April 7, 2021 at 8:44 am #65909
Shmuel
ParticipantUpload MP3 files, that way we can hear them and respond right away.
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April 6, 2021 at 7:35 pm #65898
adrothfield
ParticipantHi there! Looking for feedback on performance (the shorter ones are always the trickiest). Thanks!
Audio-Technica “Rediscover Silence”
Rediscover Silence with the QuietPoint Noise-Cancelling headphones by Audio-Technica.Attachments:
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April 6, 2021 at 7:34 pm #65896
adrothfield
ParticipantHi there! Looking for feedback on performance. Thanks so much!
Gillette “Shields and Cools as You Shave”
First, there’s shaving: blades, sharp and precise. Then Gillette shielding: comfy lubrication before and after. And also, cooling. Oooh, I got goosebumps. Proshield Chill from Gillette, the best a man can get.Attachments:
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April 9, 2021 at 2:50 pm #66051
jasjol71
ParticipantI also liked the delivery of the goosebumps line, but I thought you could go a little less friendly/pleasant at the end and pivot toward manly man tone. Maybe I’m just used to that with other shaving product commercials 🙂 Both were good reads!
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April 7, 2021 at 11:59 am #65920
Libby Ronon
ParticipantNice job! I think you can make your pauses between “shaving” and “blades” as well as “also” and “cooling” a millisecond shorter while still respecting the punctuation. I loved “Oooh, I got goosebumps.”
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