Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #65659
    Jayburglar
    Participant

    Working on some more homework reads as I practice for my commercial demo. These three are all shorter spots.

    PURINA ONE
    Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.

    DOMINO’S
    Only from Domino’s, new pesto crust pizza. Sweet basil, parsley and garlic, baked right into the dough. Then sprinkled with romano cheese all around the crust. Call and get a large, one topping, just 9.99. Get the door…it’s Dominos.

    SIX FLAGS
    Kids hate the word no. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!

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    • #65720
      artyom123
      Participant

      really great work, hard to comment on improvements. the only thing I can think of is maybe adding a story telling element to the end of the reads- like your building up to a solution… and there it is.

    • #65699
      Andrea
      Participant

      Hi Jay,
      All three sound great. I also think the tone and pacing were spot-on. In the Six Flags ad, I would emphasize the “no, no, NO!” bit more so that the last “no” really stands out.
      Awesome job!

    • #65694
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Jay, good job! I liked how clear and precise the scripts were, and all of them sounded great for your voice. Good pacing and choice of emphasized words for all three – very good!

      Mary

    • #65684
      Jorjecat09
      Participant

      Wow! Great job! Super professional and I loved the natural pauses in the Six Flags read. My favorite was the Purina spot…you totally nailed it.
      You made me want to go out and buy a batch for my cat. Awesome job!

    • #65676
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      Very nicely done! The first two were especially strong including the brand slogans at the end of each piece- the tone and pacing were exactly what the copy called for. The third was strong as well but the “no, no, NO!” bit could have been emphasized more and had more dynamic buildup to the last one- which then allows your flip in tone to presenting the “solution” to all the no’s to be even more effective. Keep up the great work!

    • #65675
      Hellokitty76
      Participant

      All three were great, clear not chopping and you sound differnt but the same. If that makes any sense. Keep up the good work.

  • #65640
    timmurphy306
    Participant

    Hello everyone, I’m practicing for a commercial demo. All comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance and audio quality. Thanks!

    American Express: Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.

    Esurance
    If a phone rings at your car insurance company, and no one’s around to hear it… does it make a sound?
    Or… if a tree falls on your car, and no one’s around to answer the call, do YOU make a sound?
    The answer is probably… yes, and, like a howler monkey.
    Unless you’re calling esurance. They have live humans on the line to help you 24/7.
    So you might make different sounds, like happy human sounds.
    Esurance. Insurance for the modern world.
    Click or call.

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  • #65629
    AyalC93
    Participant

    Hi all! Thanks for your feedback last time I posted here. It certainly helped with this weeks homework. I moved my mic over to the side of my mouth to reduce plosives a significant amount (though I’m still learning how to full edit them down properly) and I’ve tried slowing my speech down. My latest issue has been mouth noises, but hydrating and learning about the “Apple trick” helped me reduce that by a huge margin. Here are my scripts for the recordings. Thank you!

    Animal Heroes: Not all heroes are human. Sometimes heroes bark, meow, or even grunt. They may be covered with fur, have curly tails, or live in an alley. We’re about to meet some real-life animal heroes. Each one of these heroes has performed an amazing rescue. Sometimes they even put themselves in danger to help others. We’ll meet a dog who rescues stray cats. A brave cat who saved her five kittens from a fire. A pig who got help for her owner who was having a heart attack. And a guide dog who led his owner down 71 flights of stairs when the World Trade Center was attacked.

    Guided Tour: Welcome to Gordon College!
    This tour begins just outside the tunnel that goes under College Drive near the flagpole.
    We will tour East campus first, followed by West Campus, and end the tour back here at the tunnel.
    Periodically, I will ask you to pause the recording so that you can walk to the next point or take a few minutes to independently tour the area.
    I will always use the word “pause” when you need to pause the recording.
    And I will always use the word “stop” when you need to stop walking while I continue speaking.

    Explainer Intro: Would you like to buy a house?
    Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
    Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
    But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
    Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

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    • #65651
      JohnFinn
      Participant

      hey there, great work overall! The pace was very good and the mouth noises were small. How close to the mic are you and do you have a wind sleeve or pop screen?

      In the 2nd read- I really liked the pause and tone change for the “pause” and “stop” sections, it draws just the right amount of attention on there. I thought that maybe the phrases after that may have been rushed a bit as the pauses themselves kinda make you try to find your back to your original groove.

      A couple words it sounds like you’re working to annunciate carefully, like “enthusiasts”, can be bit choppy around the read- keep working the annunciation and to make it fit smoothly with the rest of the read. I totally get the challenge and still working on many of those myself!

      Nice job!

      • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by JohnFinn.
      • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by JohnFinn.
      • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by JohnFinn.
      • #65656
        JohnFinn
        Participant

        wow- couldn’t get the edit to work quite right, sorry. update to the last paragraph- shouldn’t be there, the word isn’t in the script or read, I’m sure I was carrying that thought over from another post. Sorry for any confusion. ~John

        • #65672
          AyalC93
          Participant

          Thank you very much for your feedback!

          You hit the nail on the head when mentioning me trying to “catch up” after setting those pauses for the second read. Thanks for pointing it out. Will certainly take that into account for whatever guided things I might do next.

          I do have a pop filter and am admittedly probably only a couple inches away from it. Mostly because my set up can only be by my window, and I don’t want to use too much gain as my audio shield isn’t entirely covering anywhere sound might bounce off of. Glad to know the mouth noises overall were minimal at least. Will continue fenagling my set up and editing. Thanks again!

    • #65633
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      I think your reads are good. Space was good and tone. I liked the 3rd one best. You seemed to be more relaxed conversational.

      • #65673
        AyalC93
        Participant

        Funny you say that because the third read felt the most off brand for me. Interesting to hear it sounded the most natural. Makes me feel better so thanks!

  • #65624
    Tina
    Participant

    Two scripts I’ve been playing with!

    Thanks for any feedback!

    I don’t consider weight watchers a diet, because I still have the freedom to eat what I want!
    With my lifestyle, juice and shakes just won’t cut it. I have to feel energized and focused to keep achieving my goals.
    weight watchers allows me the freedom to build healthy habits and to not feel like I am on a diet!

    So it’s 1:00 in the morning…and you’re starving. Nothing’ in the fridge, and nothing in the cupboards. You think about cooking, but then you remember the fire you started last time you tried using the stove. Well, check out 7-11. They have everything from burgers to tacos…24 hours a day…7 days a week. 7-11. Think of it as your own personal walk-in kitchen.

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    • #65721
      artyom123
      Participant

      really nice tone, really captivating and friendly. this might sound little weird but I heard some jaw tension. try some vocal warmups.. edge has a great vocal health class. I recommend lowering the jaw little more through your reads. I’d love to hear your submissions !

    • #65634
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Tina, good READS. I thought the first read was a little rushed. The second read was good and more conversational.

    • #65628
      AyalC93
      Participant

      I’m still in the learning process myself but personally I really like the tone you’ve chosen for these two scripts. They feel candid enough to not feel fake but presented in a way that feels proper for the promotion you’re bringing.

      My two points of feedback if I may.

      1) There’s a good amount of “Mouth noises”, particularly in the first one. I have literally just gone through so much annoyance with fixing that myself so my ears kind of just focused on finding that now lol. Hydrating and eating a green apple before I recorded solved it for me so maybe give that a shot.

      2) There were a lot of breaths in the audio. Completely understandable since these were one take recordings. Just a silencing between the lines and at the end of the track would (I think) improve the overall quality of them

      Again, I am just still being coached and learning myself so don’t take my feedback too far but these would be the things I’d be finding in my homework recordings. So giving feedback is also helping me learn.

      Otherwise, like I said earlier, your tone and volume to me are great an the read themselves were also. Hope I helped!

      • #65671
        Tina
        Participant

        thanks so much for the helpful feedback! I haven’t done any sound correcting on these so I appreciate those notes as well.

        • #65674
          AyalC93
          Participant

          Glad I could help ^_^

  • #65615
    Dante M.
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I have three scripts I’d like to share for criticism, and I’d also like to hear thoughts on my audio quality. Cheers!

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    • #65664
      Dante M.
      Participant

      thank you everyone!

    • #65639
      timmurphy306
      Participant

      Hi Dante, you have a great voice, and your pacing and enunciation are very good. I also think the Atkins read was the best of the three, in terms of having a conversational, friendly quality. Audio quality sounds clear, too. Great work!

    • #65635
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      I agree with Tina. Very good!

    • #65627
      Tina
      Participant

      You have a great quality to your voice and great diction and enunciation. That being said, I think all the elements are there but it’s coming off a little forced. I think Atkins is the closest to being conversational and less presentational. Make it more of a one-on-one conversation with someone. You have a really amazing voice so a little tweak and you’ll be in the zone for sure!

  • #65609
    Mark Jones
    Participant

    Quick read. I’m eager for feedback.

  • #65605
    JohnFinn
    Participant

    Hey there VO peeps- a few practice rounds to try some vocal variation and working on editing in room noise at pauses. Please share your thoughts, thank you!

    1. 2012 Extinction (Edge Script)
    2. Diamonds (Edge Script)
    3. Company Website Greeting (Edge Script)

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    • #65620
      Dante M.
      Participant

      I love your voice. 1 and 2 are good and in my opinion marketable, but the third one seems to have a script that demands a little more enthusiasm.

      • #65649
        JohnFinn
        Participant

        Thanks, Dante! Thank you for the comments on #3, I definitely intended to make that a bit more enthusiastic and will practice more to try and bring that out in the read.

        Cheers!

        John

  • #65601
    Mark Jones
    Participant

    Here’s a read for Cambria. Each phrase or sentence goes to a scene in the ad, but I ran them together for the ability to post it here.

  • #65595
    aylinsings
    Participant

    Hello! Back at it with another homework assignment.

    I am working on commercials. Please let me know if I am pitching down too much or if my takes sound inauthentic in anyway. Those were my main focuses going into it.
    I chose scripts from the library for practice.

    Thank you!

    Always:
    Listen. Your period comes every month. But it changes every day. That’s why ALWAYS designed new MULTIPAX. Three levels of protection in one smart box. So no matter what, you’ve got the right protection. ALWAYS MULTIPAX.

    SPOTIFY:
    With Spotify, it’s easy to find the right music for every moment – on your phone, your computer, your tablet and more. There are millions of tracks on Spotify. So whether you’re working out, partying or relaxing, the right music is always at your fingertips. Soundtrack your life with Spotify. Subscribe or listen for free.

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    • #65621
      timmurphy306
      Participant

      These reads were really, really great! You have an enthusiasm that you can hear in both of these commercials. Quality sounded good, and your pacing is what makes the reads really come to life. Keep up the good work!

    • #65610
      JohnFinn
      Participant

      Great reads! Variation and pitch was spot on with Always and Spotify. The first set of abc’s in Spotify- “-on your phone, your computer…” might need a little lift like the second set. Great work!!

  • #65584
    forceonature
    Participant

    Hello! This week I’m working on longer commercial scripts as I usually go with the short snippy kind. I loved tackling this challenge! Any feedback would be really appreciated!

    Scripts:
    Weelearn
    Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
    Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more.
    Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
    Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
    Weelearn – learning through watching.

    Spotify:
    Our mission is to unlock the potential of human creativity—by giving a million creative artists the opportunity to live off their art and billions of fans the opportunity to enjoy and be inspired by it. Spotify is all the music you’ll ever need. … Millions of songs and podcasts. No credit card needed. Get Unlimited Skips and Ad-Free Music. Only $9.99/Month After. T&Cs Apply. Exclusive Podcasts. Cancel Anytime. Curated Playlists. New Music Discovery.1

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    • #65594
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Nice reads. Good tone and pacing throughout. Good job.

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