Good Morning ALL! I am recording my DEMO TODAY!!! So nervous and excited. I JUST want to know if I sound conversational on this read. I didn’t perform any edits so I know there are some plosives and things that you might hear but my goal here is to sound conversational. Please let me know if I am acheiving that goal with this read?
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Good luck on your demo!! I think you did sound pretty conversational, and I think you could even lean into that a little more by really focusing on the specific individual that you are talking to; like a friend or sibling with kids.
Hi- I think it sounds conversational for the most part except towards the end (the last sentence) when it sounded rushed and therefore not conversational anymore.
Congratulations on recording ur demo btw!
THank you Rita! Yes I did hear that to when I was running out of breath. I forgot to mention that I am also practicing doing short reels in 1 breath. So I did kinda hammer out that last line. Thank you so much for your feedback and your congrats!!! I am so excited!
Hi everyone! Here are 2 recordings for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational, getting the tone right, pacing, mood, all of it. Let me know what you think. Thank you!!
Mary
Mercury Topaz
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Agree with what others have said here, mkell. You have a nice voice to listen to. I thought your second read was better than the Topza commercial. On that one, I personally think you could ramp up the cool/s**y factor and vary your pitch inflection more, as was mentioned above.
You have a pleasant tone and your voice is easy to listen to. There were some opportunities to add variety to the pace and pitch in a few sentences that would have changed the feel of both reads. In the Mercury read “One car recognizes that reality.” feels like it should be stated definitively. In Audio Associates, Listen sounds natural the second time you say it, but has no emotion the first time. You’re on the right track!
Thanks for the feedback John! I will work on adding variety to pace and pitch to be more excited about the product and draw the listener in. Also need to work on emoting more – thanks!
Hi Mary!
I thought it was very clear and its obvious that you have been practicing :), good job! I did feel like it was maybe a little obvious that you were reading. Try to imagine speaking to a friend or family member about this new product that you’re excited about and maybe even practice it a few times with a lead in to keep you in the mindset of your normal speech pattern.
-Sherry
Thanks for the feedback Sherry! Yes, I have been using lead-ins and they really help me get the tone right, so I will try that again. Also working to sound conversational – who knew it was this tough to do? 🙂 Thanks again for the tips,
Hello Mary! you sound very clear but I can tell that both scripts are being read. I heard alot of punctuation pauses as well. I am also working on sounding more conversational. So don’t take my word for it. But you sound very nice and clear. I included an attachment of my attempt to sound conversational with your script. Let me know if I sound conversational at all to you.
Thanks for your feedback Official81! I am definitely working on sounding more conversational without sounding like I’m trying, which is challenging for me. Thanks for including your example, it was nice and flowed well, definitely conversational. Thanks!
I really like your energy, but it seems rushed and as if you are running out of air. And I got lost a couple times, had to re listen, however your end is really well done.
Thanks for your feedback Lilbelle! Yes I do sometimes run out of air, which is so weird to me (I work out, I promise!), but in an effort to not make excessive noise I can almost hold me breath when I really need to breathe. Definitely needs practice. Thanks again!
Hi, Your feedback for the following is welcomed and appreciated…thx!
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I had the impression that the echo was affecting my evaluation of the read, which seemed really good otherwise. I liked your energy and how much variation in pitch inflection you demonstrated. On the first recording I would land harder on the word “KEEPS it that way.” I am not a great person to give advice on audio equipment but I am getting good results from a higher-end USB mic. Much better than just using the built-in laptop mic.
Hey 🙂
I thought you sounded pretty good overall. I liked the pacing and the smile. On the Purina read, I felt like you lost a little energy just right at the end. Also, maybe it just didn’t come through very clear, but really make sure you pronounce Purina well.
-Sherry
Hi Julie, good reads! I’m hearing a little bit of echo in your recordings. I like your energy in both reads – good pacing and emphasis on key words for both. Good smile in your voice for the second script – good job!
Hi Julie! Sorry it took me so long to respond back to your question, I hope you see this! I was practicing for about 3 months, recording on a free app on my cell phone before I got my first mic, interface, real headphones and PIB (portable isolation booth). Once I started listening through the headphones / interface I could hear so much more vs. just my desktop speakers, which are ok (small Bose set) but harder to hear over other room noise for me. I took the Home Studio 101 class with Dan a while back and took good notes; he has great suggestions. Then I worked with Sweetwater (they have excellent customer service, and no I do not work there or have any connection with the company). They are super helpful in working with you. I suggest the Home Studio 101 class through Edge as it gives you the basics of what to look for once you get your studio set up. I could go on and on! Will check back later. Thanks!
Continued practice! Any comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance and the style of read- I am much more comfortable with commercial reads and narration, so working on corporate materials is to help broaden the scope of work that I am able to record. Thanks!
Upstart Corporate Conference
Welcome back everyone. In this next segment, we’re going to be looking at the evolution of our selling methodology. Like we said before, UpStart’s target demographic is millennials, and how they want to be sold to is unlike any generation before them.
In fact, many of you may be millennials, or be just like millennials yourselves – and that’s why you’re a good fit for this job. You’re the kind of consumer who is checking online reviews, looking at a company’s Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, and really buying into a company’s branding and ethos before you’re ‘sold.’
That’s why UpStart preaches a relationship-focused sales strategy. We will equip you with the time, resources and backup to build strong, authentic relationships with potential clients, instead of pushing a product at all costs.
It’s integral that our clients have a real, normal human first interaction with our sales staff, where we simply tell them what we’re offering, and educate them on the state of the startup scene in their market. It’s absolutely vital that you don’t rush the first date at UpStart. Interested clients have seen our Instagram ads, they get it.
We want to make them feel like they’re having a link up with a buddy in a coffee shop.
Very nice. I have little to add to the previous comments, which I totally agree with. Great voice/timbre for this genre and appropriate pacing. I think Katelyn already gave tons of good advice.
Hi Cyeschenko, really well done! You have a great voice for this genre. Very clear, understandable and approachable. The pacing was great too – quick enough to inform without boring the listener. I was really buying into the approach presented. Well done!
You have a really nice tone of voice for this and a very marketable voice at that. I think you could warm it up a bit, it sounds more like a documentary piece which is typically read more “matter of factly” without bringing in your personal opinions into it and letting the listener figure out how they feel about what you are presenting on their own. I think you can guide the listener into feeling how you feel about this content. Right now you sound distant from it, like an observer. Can you warm it up, bring a smile to your face and connect more with the copy? I think this will help people to stay engaged in this “eLearning” style script. Right now you sound a little bit bored about what you’re talking about. I’d love to hear this again with this feedback applied, I think you can totally nail it.
This is my first time posting to the feedback forum. I’m following through on my coaches instructions and seeking any feedback you’re willing to offer. Thanks in advance.
Incredible depth of voice, and I really liked the way you infused both reads with personality. With a little tropical music in the background that Jamaica read would sound awesome on a demo.
Your voice is nice, rich, and very warm. I could tell you were delivering the first script about Jamaica with a nice smile in your voice. It was friendly and comforting, and had good variation of tone in the lists. I liked the Good RX read too and would agree that it sounded just a little bit rushed, but both were very really nice!
I posted this one last year from an audition I did. there is no history from the old forum so reposting it, any comments are most welcome!
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Great resonance, pacing, and overall vocal quality. The read felt friendly and inviting. If I would suggest anything, it might be playing with your higher register when you finish a couple sentences. I’m nitpicking. That is all I would offer for “next time” with this read.
Yeah, really liked the Travelocity spot. You seem to have really good command over your different “voices”… Sounds to me like someone with some acting experience or training. It’s a long spot, so I would work on keeping your energy level up for the duration. I think it could use even a bit more aggressive variation in pitch. But overall it sounded really good. If I heard this on TV or online I would think it was a pro!
That was great! When you get to the list that starts at “you’ll have over …”, see if you can practice that a couple different ways to smooth it out just a bit. I really enjoyed your overall take on the tone.
-Sherry
Hi Mara, great job! I love the energy and attitude for both scripts – very believable and relatable and your voice is really well-suited for both. You had a good smile in your voice that in turn made me smile while listening – good job on these!
Awesome work! Your voice is extremely clear and you nailed most of what you set out to achieve with this copy. The only notes I have would be small shifts that are just personal preferences- for example, the congratulations at the beginning of the first one sounds like a different thought than the full sentence, and in the second perhaps the tone on “how about 300 horses” could be shifted to make the joke land even better? The car is the solution for the problem of you always wanting horses as a kid, so punching the solution would make sense. For the horses line, perhaps a touch more snarky or even a hint of cockiness? These are small, finishing touches that might make it even better- but it is already pretty solid as is!
This is an add for Royal Bank Canadian – Avion. Only the VO part, which is designed to be accopanied by various visuals. Here is the text:
VO: Most of life, isn’t like this.
VO: It doesn’t look like this.
VO: Taste like this.
VO: Or sound, like this.
VO: And when was the last time… you felt like this?
VO: Special moments like these are far from the everyday.
VO: To relax, appreciate, explore, and get in touch with what really matters.
VO: Our vacation time, is the most important time we have.
VO: Make the most of your travel.
VO: With more value. More freedom. More rewards.
VO: RBC Avion
Great work as a whole- the second half in particular was well connected and connected to the message of the copy. My main note would be slow down just a touch on the first four “this” lines and find an extremely specific mental image for each one. If you can lock in what each one means to you or have a clear image of what would be showing as you’re saying the lines, you can dial in your read even more and hook the listener from the beginning. Keep it up!
This is my first time using the Feedback Forum! I would appreciate any critiques and suggestions regarding my technique, as I do not yet have a home studio (I’m recording off of my phone). Thank you so much!
Really liked all three reads, Libby! In the Revlon spot you showcased a lot of pitch variation, and the choices all made sense to me. Same with Butterball. Then, I listened to Asthma, and the tone was drastically different but appropriately serious and empathetic. I honestly think you nailed them all. Well done. Your phone records pretty well!