Harvey Home Theatre – 30
He has a 160 IQ, performs cardiac surgery for a living. And now, he can even operate his home entertainment system. Introducing Harvey Home Theater. It’s so sophisticated, it’s simple. Dimensions of sight and sound unheard of, until now. All at your fingertips. Now, if he could only operate the microwave. Home Theater from Harvey, not your ordinary electronics store. Call for the Harvey near you.
Big O Tires – 30
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Wow – just absolutely amazing on all fronts. It’s really hard to give you any feedback! I agree that adding some irony in the Harvey read would be helpful. But if I was casting this – you’d get both jobs. Really great work!
-Amber
As usual, great job. Diction is on the mark, sound is flawless. Big O Tires nailed it. The Home Theatre – I would add some irony to the acting, I didn’t quite hear it. Hey, normally home entertainment systems are so complicated, you need a grandson to work it ! A brain surgeon just won’t cut it! (d’ja get it?) Or something like that. Also, some of the music background sounded a bit arbitrary, although YMMV on that one.
I would love some critique of these reads, which may be part of my narration demo. Thanks in advance, everyone!
1. Telephony/Resort Spanglish: Thanks for calling Iberostar Paraíso Lindo México, the highest-rated resort on the Riviera Maya. If you’re ready to play a few rounds of golf, relax on the white sands of Playa Paraíso, and order up a steak and cerveza at Restaurante El Fogón, please stay on the line. One of our booking agents will be right with you.
2. How to/The Perfect Margarita: Mixing a margarita at home is really simple. Prepare some glasses by wetting the rims with a lime wedge and dipping them in salt. Next, fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add lime juice, triple sec, and tequila in a 1:2:3 ratio. Add a squeeze of agave nectar, then shake vigorously until chilled. Strain and pour into the glasses, and garnish with a lime wedge. That’s it! The perfect margarita – easy as 1, 2, 3!
3. Audio Guide/Frank Lloyd Wright House: You’re now in the guest bedroom. Even though it’s small, it’s designed with comfort in mind. Notice the row of windows that lets in plenty of natural light and the warm wood of the built-in desk, cabinetry, and bed frame. Former owners of the house have described the experience of sleeping in bedrooms here like sleeping in a ship’s cabin.
Well done! Your higher range is pleasant, friendly, and inviting. Your pacing felt right and the overall quality of your recording was clean. There were two plosives in the margarita read that stood out to me. Other than that, no suggestions.
Hi Jasol, the Spanish language telephony was nice but the accent probably shouldn’t be used if your not familiar with it, but good try! I like the margarita delivery sounds like a travelouge very well done! The last one is tough to make sound interesting, it just didn’t flow? I like your voice for travelouge type documentaries or commercials on travel, good luck on your demo!
I thought all the reads were well done, though I think when reading a list, it can tend to be a little bit tricky since it’s important to mention variation within the things in the list, one wouldn’t all the things in the list to sound the same, you want the listener to have options. I also do agree with thinking about who you’re talking to, in order to make it more conversational.
The first two reads had a good pace and you brought out some nuances in the sentences. It did sound more like a radio announcement, so I would pick someone to speak to so you can sound more conversational.
The last read lacked the “umph” of the first two. “Life is good” fell a bit flat for me.
I really like your tempo and I think you hit the best words. However, I think your tone sounds more like an announcer and most VO scripts are meant to be conversational. Also, I think you may be trying too hard to finish the script and it’s hurting your pronunciation of certain words. Try relaxing for a moment and just perform the script at a steady pace. I hope this helps.
I have recorded the following narration scripts and would very much welcome any and all feedback, particularly regarding pitch.
Best wishes,
John
1. Walgreens – New Team Members
After more than a century in business, we know what makes a great Walgreens team member. It’s the type of person who values change and excitement. The ones who thrive in a fast-paced environment, ready to learn something new every day. Forward-thinkers. Great communicators. Innovators. People with the drive to succeed – not only for themselves, but also for their co-workers, the company as a whole and the communities we serve. We all come from different backgrounds and bring valuable diverse ideas, but a common mission unites us. And we’re looking for students and recent graduates who are up to the challenge.
2. The Julia
You’re listening to the actual recording of “the Julia”. A subsonic moan that doesn’t match the sound of any marine creature ever recorded.
Many biologists will tell you it’s a deep-sea distress call.
And when you listen, it’s easy to see why.
The mysterious howling was captured by deep-sea hydrophones off the coast of Cape Adare.
The same place Nasa captured photographs of a huge, unexplained shadow moving through the water.
It may well be a coincidence, but if the Julia really is a distress call from the deep, perhaps it’s time we answered.
Ninety-five per cent of our oceans remain unexplored.
Are we killing what we’ve yet to discover?
3. Voice for the City of Toronto
You know that term “We’re all in this together?” Well, it’s true.
While some of us might be working in government and others not, we’re actually all in the same boat. You see, we’re citizens as well.
We all want the same thing. A city that works for everyone. As fast and efficient and as relevant as can be. Thriving, accessible, and inclusive.
John, great voice and accent for narration. I really liked your read of The Julia. I do not think it was too slow at all. Just right. I also like your inflections.
John – I really felt like your pitch and tone were good on all of the reads. Like Kateyln, my feedback would be centered around the pace. The first and last scripts that you have definitely call for a bit faster of a pace to bring more energy into the read. I would work on changing the pace throughout each of these so that there is some differentiation in each of the scripts. Best of luck! Great scripts for your voice!
Thank you very much for your encouraging feedback. Yes, I wondered about pace as I listened to them following the recording. I am going to go back and experiment a little more with the pace.
Hi John – I just had time to listen to the first upload.
I think you have a lovely upbeat and energetic tone. Very friendly and welcoming. So if that is what you are going for with your tone, then you did very well. The pace was too slow and made it sound like you were reading. If you vary the pace while you are reading that is something we do naturally in conversation. Also, there were times you added a pause between words within sentences. Note how you speak to friends and family. Normally we don’t pause within sentences. We say “ready to learn something new every day.” not “ready (pause) to learn something new every day.” These are little things that make a big difference in smoothing out a read and sounding more conversational. I hope that feedback is useful! 🙂
Thank you very much for taking the time to provide such constructive feedback. I know I have this challenge with pace and have to keep working at it. Similarly, pausing within a sentence and trying to sound conversational. So, absolutely, your feedback is just what I needed.
First Homework Assignment is a go! Excited to get feedback and see what I need to work on. This first reel is a Radio Promo, the second is Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. I’d like any feedback that I can. Thanks!
First of all, you need to invest in a better recording setup. I could barely hear you, but I could make out enough. You had a great tone and tempo in the Radio Promo and I think you hit good words. However, when you were performing the radio station, the time, and the event, you sounded as if you lost your place and picked it up mid-sentence. This in turn lead you to sound lost in what you were trying to express and even sounded like you were trying to remember the event. If you slip up during recording, you must go back to the last comma or period and start over. That makes the script flow better.
The Baby Shampoo on the other hand sounded like you were going all over the place with your overall tone and there were too many pauses. The words you hit were good, but the tone sounded more like a whiny kid begging someone to try their product. I think you ought to find some baby shampoo commercials on YouTube to better understand how they sound and get inspiration. I hope this helps.
Yes! Thank you. I actually, had some cord interference that I was unaware of until I posted on here. I’ll be posting again soon an update in hopes that the issue is fixed.
As far as my commercials, great feedback. I can definitely hear in myself what you are saying especially in the Johnson’s Baby Shampoo Commercial.
The first read was great, took me by surprise that I had to re-listen, though I think your voice is definitely suited for those types of scripts. For the second one, however, it felt a little bit too fast which made the information a little bit overwhelming. Even so, both good tones on both of the scripts.
Sherry, very good effort. I really liked the first one. Your voice, pace and tone was well suited for that script. The second was not bad but maybe the pace could have slowed a tad bit and your voice could be a little more relaxed. Hope this may help.
I thought your volume and tone were spot on for the first one in particular. The second read sounded a bit choppy in parts. I had the impression that your were almost over-articulating the syllables in the longer words. I guess if you are shooting for a bit more of a conversational tone you could knock down the formality a degree or two. But great voice!
Fragrance: Lovely read! I love how you painted a picture in the first half of the perfume thing. I think at 0:14 there could be a transition. When you read the whole thing in the hushed whisper voice, I started to lose focus. If you can come into a full voice for the last part once you hit “Roseau articulates…” (however you spell that) I think that is a good spot for a transition.
Healthcare: Really nice tone and feel for this. When you got to “something as important as healthcare”, you did “upspeak” on the word “healthcare”. When we use upspeak (which is a super millennial thing to do) it sounds less confident, like we are asking a question or are unsure about what we are saying. So you can just remember to always bring it down at the end. “create a partnership” – pronounce “a” as “ah” in scripts. I’d say always unless asked specifically to pronounce it “a”.
I think you lost it a little bit at the tag – you had me up until this point. When you say “Edna and US healthcare… raising a standard for… and the rest of the tag” The tag is super important so give it its gravity. At this point, you can be feeling very proud of this healthcare company because it’s yours. Either you own it or you work there or else you wouldn’t be talking about it. But center yourself in some pride for it and really sell me on why this is important, good, or why I should care.
Hi everyone – here are some more practice recordings for my narration homework. Trying different genres to get a feel for what my voice would be suited to. Any and all feedback welcome. Thank you so much!
Autism Awareness:As a parent, you can’t help but look at your child and dream about what the future holds. But while you’re dreaming, consider this – the odds that your child will be diagnosed with autism are 1 in 88. Knowing the signs of autism and catching it early can make a world of difference. To learn the signs visit autismspeaks.org. Brought to you by Autism Speaks and the Ad Council.
Macarons:
Macarons are one of the most popular but also most challenging desserts to get right. We spent many months and made dozens of batches in the pursuit of trying to find a recipe and some foolproof techniques to help you get it right the first time. A perfect macaron should be chewy on the inside and crispy on the outside. First things first, you want to let the egg whites come to room temperature for at least 30 minutes before you get started. Having the egg whites rest is gonna result in a much fluffier, airier meringue. So, protip, a really easy way to separate your white from your yolks is to use your hands or you can alternate between eggshells. Now we can move on to our dry ingredients.
Anaconda
Giant snakes have a reputation of being aggressive. The anaconda measures over 16 feet and weighs 180 pounds. Its mouth is like a clamp and an animal struggling to get free only sets the grip tighter. At the same time it sets its bite, the anaconda loops its powerful coils around its victim and begins to squeeze. The process takes little more than a second, hardly enough time to react.
Your voice is well-suited for narration. The tone you used for each of these scripts matched very well and the words you hit were magnificent. Tempo was a tad slow though and your pauses were a little overdone. I heard a great deal of mouth noises too and I would look for a way to fix that. All in all, you are on the right track. Well done.
I could honestly listen to you read a book for bedtime stories. Your voice is rather pleasant.
There were times in each segment that it sounded as if you needed air or water. I could hear the movement of your tongue. Then in the macarons read, there were a few words that I felt as if you over emphasized such as chewy and crispy, overall though rather lovely. I rather enjoyed listening to you.
I love your tone and energy on all of the reads, they really match the text. Just a technical thing- the Macaron recording was a little quieter than the other two, so you may want to play with the volume settings on the Macaron recording.
Hi everyone! I’m working on narration homework. I’m still learning the editing part, but any and all comments about the performance are very welcome and appreciated!
I thought your voice is perfectly suited to a script like Advanced Technology, so corporate narration, training. Very pleasant to listen to. I thought the first sentence was perfect. Then it seemed to get a little choppy in the middle and at the very end. Still, a really good read, in my opinion!
Hi Sherry – love the first one – is that for an audio book? I like the emotion and pitch variety in it. I could listen to your voice in an audiobook.
For the Advance Technology – I think you dropped off a little bit when you say …”policy and procedures” like there is a period there instead of a comma?
Awesome, thank you! I’m not sure exactly what that excerpt is taken from – I just found it in the script library under the Narration tab, haha.
Thanks for the feedback! I will look/listen to that and see how I can make it better 🙂
I have to agree with Ritadebur above, it was slow at start, but the energy picked up and it was a great finish. I heard hard finishes with words that end in s, maybe something to work on. Great work though!