Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,048 replies, 725 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks, 4 days ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
-
Replies
-
(note after upload: I mistakenly uploaded one version twice, so the two different reads are file 2 and file 3)
Hello everyone,
I am attaching two different read styles of the same text. It’s about a device called Woojer – it’s the size of a hockey puck, and you wear it on your chest with straps and attach it to a music playing device (phone, MP3, etc). It takes the deep base and vibrates in rhythm with the music. Here is the text:Ok, so how does it work?
Well, imagine you’re in a concert, standing right in front of the speakers.
That oomph you feel in your body? That’s what Woojer feels like.
In more technical terms – Our patented Oscillating Frame accurately reproduces and plays frequencies up to 200Hz including subsonic frequencies.
In less technical terms- everything that up until now you only heard, you can now feel.
-
I’m also a fan of the second read. Not only can I more clearly hear what you are saying (it is difficult to make out parts of the second line in the first read), but it also sounds like you are more emotionally invested in the quality of the product in the second one, which makes me invested in it too!
-
Hey Shmuel. I think you’re getting closer with the last read. The first two reads felt like you were trying to get the words out of your mouth as fast as you could 🙂
I think you can work on smoothing out the read The second line felt a little choppy. You can smooth that whole line out like you are casually talking to a friend. Your pace can be picked up here (not so fast as the first reads) and then you could maybe pose that question of “you know that oomph you feel” a little slower paced.
It’s all about feeling how you would say this in real life. Personally, I would say that the first line pretty straightforward, a little bit throw away but then I’d slow down and use my hands and say “you know that oomph you feel” and give those words their due because you are describing a full-body feeling that doesn’t really have much language to describe, its more of a feeling, but everyone knows that feeling.
That one line “Our patented Oscillating Frame accurately reproduces and plays frequencies up to 200Hz including subsonic frequencies.” is SUPER hard. You need to break it up into sections that the listener will actually be able to grasp potentially, so I think here it is appropriate to pause intentionally between phrases/ideas here:
Our patented Oscillating Frame (pause) accurately reproduces and plays frequencies up to 200Hz (pause) including subsonic frequencies.
Regarding the first line and the question there – I have been told by Larry Hudson and his group that when we ask a question in a script, it’s generally treated as a rhetorical question. Especially here where you are going to explain HOW it works. You’re not asking the listener, you are going to tell the listener, so it is a rhetorical question. So when you “upspeak” on the word “work” it sounds like you are indeed asking a question like you don’t know how it works.
Those are my thoughts. I thought this was really well done though. Nice work! I’d like to hear another go at it from you! You’ve got a really inviting, warm and trustworthy tone. You sound like a guy I’d go buy a speaker with. There’s just a few things that stuck out to me:)
-
-
-
-
-
Hey all, this is a video I narrated for a company’s YouTube channel. I know the subject matter probably isn’t for everyone, but I’d appreciate any and all feedback you may have! Whenever I do narrations for them, I sort of talk like I’m announcing so I’m not sure if I’d say it’s my “true” voice, but they seem to like it so I haven’t changed much haha.. Personally, I feel like I sometimes beat people over the head with the emphasizing, but I also feel it’s important to point out the important terms in guide-styled videos like these. What do you think? https://youtu.be/NTdA4mBVBlY
-
Pretty good. Perfect casting by the way. Audio is spot on. A couple of truly minor quibbles: I might consider varying the energy a bit here and there. It’s high throughout the whole vid. OK, it’s for gamers, and that’s the way they are, but after a couple of minutes I found myself kind of zoning out, and you don’t want that. Dunno, maybe it’s me (I’m not a gamer). Another thing, but this regards the directing: telling about an example of edge play, then pulling back and showing how it’s done *with your voice silent*. Your voice is there all the time, so if it goes silent for a few moments, I think it would actually draw attention. But this is all subjective, don’t forget. Again, great job in general.
-
-
-
Hi all,
Just starting on my narration coaching and would love any and all feedback on my first practice recording.
Thanks!!-
-
Hi gabe. I’ve not had any narration training yet, just commercials, so take my feedback for what its worth. I think there are so many aspects that are great (volume recording levels, enunciation, etc.) One thing that did stand out for me was that, rather than the authoritative, “G*d’s stenographer”-type read I often hear, it felt like the read had a more “I’ve got a secret to tell you” kind of vibe. Not sure if that’s what you were going for? Also, the recording sounded a tad hollow/echo-y. Perhaps some more absorption treatment is required in your booth? Toque
-
-
Hi everyone! Here are some practice commercial scripts I recorded for homework. Thank you in advance for your feedback!
-
Good voice, and the audio was perfect, didn’t hear any noise or background. At one point, on first listen, I though the first read was about a daughter whose elderly parent is in the hospital and is now incontinent. But after listening again, it sounds like an every day mother who just had a little girl. I think I thought it was about an elderly parent because when you started you were a bit “down”. And having an elderly parent in that situation is certainly a downer. So, I would consider ” upping” it a bit, remembering that having a baby is a very positive and happy event, even though it can be nerve-wracking for a first-time mother. And discovering that her skin is so delicate is a real discovery, like “”hey did you realize that a baby’s skin is REALLLLY delicate? Wow. And the solution that solves all our problems is – Pampers. Of course, it’s obvious, why didn’t I think of that. ” Something like that. It would give the read more kick, I think. Keep at it, you sound great !
-
-
-
Hello,
Any feedback is appreciated.
——
Just as Einstein changed the way we understand time and space, and Freud changed the way we understand the workings of the human psyche, Charles Darwin changed forever the way we look at natural forms. The shapes of bodies, of finches’ beaks and fishes’ fins, were not fixed at some moment of creation; rather, forms evolved and were altered by circumstance. “Life On Earth” is a great collection of individual stories, natural histories that, while sounding Kiplingesque–how the snail got its shell, how the bacterium got its DNA–give us a deeper appreciation of the world and our place in it. This episode of Natural History shows how scientists continue to interpret the narratives embodied in natural forms.-
Sound is great, no background noise or distortion. Your voice is good, too. Diction good, enunciation good. This read needs a bit of a kick. Be excited by watching this show, it’s really cool, even if you don’t think it’s cool. I want to find out the narrative in why that praying mantis on the window sill appears the way he appears.
-
-
Hello All. I’m re-submitting an Edge script for feedback. (I’ve now resolved the file naming issue on my computer.) Your comments are welcome. Thank you!
-
-
Here are 3 practice commercial scripts I recorded as homework for my coach. I’d appreciate any feedback/tips. Thanks!
AMERICAN TIRE SUPPLY
Free. Now when’s the last time ya’ heard that? A while…right? Well at American Tire Supply, when you buy one all-weather radial tire, you get another one free! Plus, get a free alignment! Hey, with a deal like this, how can you NOT afford to visit. So hurry on down to your local American Tire Supply, where you can still hear the word free. Subject to dealer participation.MOVIE GALLERY
Have you ever noticed what happens when you put in a movie?
It’s amazing.
You just stick it in,
Sit back,
Hit play, and…
P**f.
The rest of the world just disappears.
Gone.
Suddenly, it’s just you and your family.
You remember them. Your family. Some of them look like you.
At Movie Gallery, we have thousands of great movies. Including your favorite holiday movies plus the latest releases. And every one of them is guaranteed to have the same magical powers.Movie Gallery.
Play on.A 1 STEAK SAUCE
With steak, you want to make every bite count. That’s why we use A-1 Steak Sauce. A-1 brings out every single bite of steak, or even hamburger. Mmmmm, delicious. For me, there’s only one steak sauce, A-1. Because A-1 has all the taste that makes every bite count-
Hiya JB, Sound great, no noise or distortion. Voice good as well. Listened to the first one only. Recommendations: The theme here is Free. Free here is a special word. Treat it with the respect and reverence it deserves. There is also a hint to “Land of the Free and Home of the Brave”. After all, Free is also an American slogan. Be more excited.
Also, I would ask your coach what to do about the last sentence, “”subject to dealer participation”. It seems to me that you should read that quickly with a different tone. It’s less important than the other stuff, but needs to be said. It would be interesting to hear what your coach says about that, maybe I’m way off on this. Wish you success! -
-
-
This is a unique script from the library, a while back. It was written by Richurd. Thanks for listening any comments most welcome!
Where is the home of your heart?
The machinations of man covets
and squanders our time as though it
were of some significant value.
Our hearts become preoccupied
with issues and perplexities
that never seem to go away.
So debilitating are it’s affects we
long for solace.
The heart longs for a place of respite.
Invariably we are drawn back to the land.
The earths constancy and tranquil
endurance washes over us, cleansing us.
A vast array of landscapes
that all have the same effect.
They take back the space that is stolen by man
and fills your heart with a calm and pleasant reward.
You can travel the world of man with your heart
but it is the land that you will come home to.
This grand earth in all it’s splendor,
is the place we call home.
Our fondest memories are
bound up in the land on which we stand.
Memories of times that are now lost to
the machinations of man.
A new generation can never know
nor recover all that has been lost
and that is now preserved only in our memory.
A day will come that is not so far away
when even that treasure trove will fade and disappear.
Yet from this land we can draw strength that all will not be lost.
For within it’s soil are the seeds of renewal.
Therein lies the hope that mellows our souls,
the hope that all that man has wrought
the earth will erase.
The earth will once again be a place
we can call home.Written and contributed by Richurd
Music Bed : Susan Boyle – Mull of Kintyre – Windsor 2012 -
Hi all! Looking for feedback on performance as well as overall sound quality (my first attempt at using my DAW to make a better recording). Thanks!
Fitbit Sense “Transform Your Health”
Smart tech is everywhere: smart fridge, smart car, smart doorbell. But FitBit makes you smart about your health. It’s more than a smartwatch; it’s a smarter way to transform your health.-
-
I think the use of the interrogative inflection on “smart doorbell” is a good touch. I wonder if you’re attempting to talk a little lower than your natural voice range once or twice (e.g., the word “everywhere” near the beginning). In “it’s a smarter way to transform your health,” I hear you emphasizing both “smarter” and “transform.” I wonder how it would sound if you only emphasized one of those two words. Good read overall, I think.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
