Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Thanks for any feedback. Focusing on travel scripts right now.
Welcome to Hershey, the Great American Chocolate Town, where families come together for a taste of the sweet life. Tucked in the rolling hills of Central Pennsylvania, this idyllic escape offers the latest and greatest in entertainment and hospitality, fused with the traditions of one of America’s original success stories.
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Hi Steve! You sound great, very clear and the recording sounded pro. I would just add a bit more chocolatey sweetness to highlight certain parts maybe to add a little more differentiation. Awesome job!
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Good work on this genre John! I like your storytelling ability to connect with the listener, very nice. My only critique would be some of the long pauses in the last two reads, it breaks up the flow, unless you had another reason to separate the lines, not sure?
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Thanks for any feedback on this script:
I’d like to welcome you to one of the wonders of the world: the National Gallery of Art. This is one of the most significant and extensive art collections in the world, exhibiting various masterpieces and the only painting by Leonardo found on American soil. The gallery was founded on the initiative of a former United States Secretary of the Treasury, Andrew Mellon. Mellon donated his collection of 121 works of art to the country, which include “St. George and the Dragon” by Raphael and “The Annunciation” by Jan van Eyck, as well as five Rembrandts and several paintings by Titian, in the conviction that other collectors would also be encouraged to do so. Many followed his example and today the gallery has almost 7,500 works that range from Byzantine art to modern day pieces, including, among others, the masterpieces of Leonardo, Vermeer, El Greco, Turner, Monet, van Gogh and Picasso. In the upcoming audio files, I’ll take you on a tour of their works.-
Hi Steve, pleasant and welcoming audio tour! This one has a lot of lists which you handled very well! The inflections are good as well. I would just invest a little more emotion to entice the listener in describing the museum initially and the last sentence could emphasize “you” and “their works” if that makes sense, great work and good to hear a familiar voice!
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Hi All,
Attached is a practice read from the script library:Jim Henson Museum
Welcome to The Jim Henson museum, located on the very creek where Jim first thought up his alter ego and good friend, Kermit the Frog. Many of Jim’s creations are on display here, and there’s a play area for the youngsters.Thanks in advance for your feedback!
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Hello Everyone. Hope you are having a great day. I have attached some files for homework. Look forward to your feedback.
Thank you,
Jeff-
Nice job Jeff! I enjoyed all of these reads. I think my comment on all three of them would be to slow down just a bit. Overall I think your pacing is good, but there are one or two places where the words almost slur together and are difficult for me to understand. On the second read, the short lift between “among” and “America’s best” sounds a little at odds with the nice conversational tone you had have going up to that point.
The Coors spot was my favorite. You sounded very natural and genuinely enthused about the product. Good work!
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Working on my some motivational/healing reads. Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks
SOMETIMES THE END IS SUDDEN AND YOU ARE LEFT WITHOUT CLOSURE,
HEARTBROKEN AND UNPREPARED FOR SUCH A SHARP CHANGEFOR A WHILE, YOU LIVE WITH A MIND THAT IS HALF HERE
AND HALF FULL OF REGRET WONDERING “WHAT IF?”FOR A WHILE, YOUR HEART ONLY FEELS GRIEF AND YOUR MIND ONLY SEES GRAY
AND THEN LIFE STARTS TO CALL YOU BACK INTO ITS ARENA OF POSSIBILITY;
IT REMINDS YOU THAT ALL IS NOT LOST AND THAT EVEN THOUGH A CHAPTER ENDED, THERE IS STILL A LONGER STORY TO BE TOLDWITH TIME AND INTENTION, WOUNDS LOSE THEIR HEAVINESS,
HEALING FILLS THE TOUGH PARTS OF YOUR BEING,
AND YOU AWAKEN THE LIGHT OF LOVE WITHIN YOURSELFIN TIME, YOU WILL RETURN FULLY INTO THE PRECIOUS NOW WITH A HEART THAT FEELS REFRESHED AND READY TO MOVE FORWARD
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Such beautiful words, and I certainly hear your heart in the reading of them. Very nice. One thing to pay attention to is a repeated rhythm and melody you slip into on the end of many lines. Listen to “without closure”, “a sharp change”, “sees gray”, “to be told”, and “to move forward”. They all have almost the same notes and downward melody. I think if you spend more time considering who you are talking to, and what you want that person to understand, or feel, then you will break out of this repeated melody and make it sound more authentic. Thanks for sharing this. It is beautiful.
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Alamo Rent-a-Car
If you’re ever near Durango, Colorado, you’ll find a road to the
sky…where a hundred years ago, men searched for the silver and
gold they saw there. There are over one million miles of roads in
Alamo territory, all over America. And every day, with every car
nationwide, only ALAMO gives you all those miles for free, includin’
a seventy mile stretch along route 550 in Colorado, which takes you
to the sky. -
Hi all. Another practice script from the Edge Library, seeking your input and feedback on any and all aspects of this read. Thanks! Toque
Script for MY First Games:
It’s laughing with her at the funny characters. Helping her learn to win, lose and take turns. That’s what MY First Games are all about. They take just a minute, but you’ll give her the most important thing of all…a part of yourself. MY First Games, by Hasbro, Parker Brothers and Milton Bradley.
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I loved the warmth and specificity in your voice! This is totally subjective but I think maybe injecting a little more energy into your read would serve it well. The tone felt a little overly soothing and calming. In that same vein I think the tempo could be picked up just slightly, mostly cutting down on dead air in between sentences.
Lastly, it sounded like you were losing volume at the ends of sentences, and some final words ended on a whisper – keep the energy and volume going to the end of the sentence!
Great job and hope this helps! -
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Hello dear people,
My name is Kemal and I am just starting with my voice-over career.
I would like your feedback because I know I need to fix a lot of stuff.
Would you be so kind to point me out what is the first thing I should be working on.The following example is for a e-learning module.
Thank you very much and have a good day,
Kemal
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Hi Kemal, I like your instructional tone for this piece. One piece of feedback I’d give is that, while I understand you want to take your time with e-learning modules to accommodate for different learners, I think there are a lot of pauses between phrases and words that could be shortened. I hope this helps, and that you keep at it!
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Hi Kemal, first of all, the sound is good, I do not hear noise in the background or distortion. But yes, you need to fix a lot of stuff. You are reading line by line, and people want to hear to talking to them as if you are first thinking of these lines. Yes, it’s an art to be able to do that with someone else’s words. I would suggest you get a one-on-one coach to help you with this. Makes a world of difference.
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Yeah I get it. Also, my native language isn’t English so I need to practice a lot. Thanks for your feedback sir <3
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(note after upload: I mistakenly uploaded one version twice, so the two different reads are file 2 and file 3)
Hello everyone,
I am attaching two different read styles of the same text. It’s about a device called Woojer – it’s the size of a hockey puck, and you wear it on your chest with straps and attach it to a music playing device (phone, MP3, etc). It takes the deep base and vibrates in rhythm with the music. Here is the text:Ok, so how does it work?
Well, imagine you’re in a concert, standing right in front of the speakers.
That oomph you feel in your body? That’s what Woojer feels like.
In more technical terms – Our patented Oscillating Frame accurately reproduces and plays frequencies up to 200Hz including subsonic frequencies.
In less technical terms- everything that up until now you only heard, you can now feel.
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I’m also a fan of the second read. Not only can I more clearly hear what you are saying (it is difficult to make out parts of the second line in the first read), but it also sounds like you are more emotionally invested in the quality of the product in the second one, which makes me invested in it too!
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Hey Shmuel. I think you’re getting closer with the last read. The first two reads felt like you were trying to get the words out of your mouth as fast as you could 🙂
I think you can work on smoothing out the read The second line felt a little choppy. You can smooth that whole line out like you are casually talking to a friend. Your pace can be picked up here (not so fast as the first reads) and then you could maybe pose that question of “you know that oomph you feel” a little slower paced.
It’s all about feeling how you would say this in real life. Personally, I would say that the first line pretty straightforward, a little bit throw away but then I’d slow down and use my hands and say “you know that oomph you feel” and give those words their due because you are describing a full-body feeling that doesn’t really have much language to describe, its more of a feeling, but everyone knows that feeling.
That one line “Our patented Oscillating Frame accurately reproduces and plays frequencies up to 200Hz including subsonic frequencies.” is SUPER hard. You need to break it up into sections that the listener will actually be able to grasp potentially, so I think here it is appropriate to pause intentionally between phrases/ideas here:
Our patented Oscillating Frame (pause) accurately reproduces and plays frequencies up to 200Hz (pause) including subsonic frequencies.
Regarding the first line and the question there – I have been told by Larry Hudson and his group that when we ask a question in a script, it’s generally treated as a rhetorical question. Especially here where you are going to explain HOW it works. You’re not asking the listener, you are going to tell the listener, so it is a rhetorical question. So when you “upspeak” on the word “work” it sounds like you are indeed asking a question like you don’t know how it works.
Those are my thoughts. I thought this was really well done though. Nice work! I’d like to hear another go at it from you! You’ve got a really inviting, warm and trustworthy tone. You sound like a guy I’d go buy a speaker with. There’s just a few things that stuck out to me:)
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