Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello forum,
I’m back again and decided to really stretch and challenge myself with 2 of these 3 scripts…you’ll be able to tell :). Gotta test the limits, you know. Looking forward to hearing some comments. Need to rest the voice a bit. Thanks!
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Hi Dickson,
Good voice, good sound. First read: good, but I would vary it a bit more with a tad more acting. Not too much, you are very close. The text is ” a car that can actually see like a human, using stereotcopic cameras, and even stop itself if it has to. The technology ….. ” the stop itself line seems to be out of place. We are talking about the car seeing, and then one thing the car can do alluvasudden. It needs to be moved, or a couple of words to introduce it, like “…. cameras, this car can even stop itself if it has to …. ”
Second read: Cool, you sound like a different person. This is fun, I’m a gunna buy me a lottery ticket next time I’m in Omaha !
Third read: Yet a third person. Nice. Minor quibble: “In this world” sounds like “in this whorle”. And I would vary the read a bit. Just a bit, because it’s at the same spooky level the whole way.-
Great points, Shumel! Excellent points the more I read them, actually. That is how the script should read. That helps me A LOT!
Thanks for the comments on the 2nd read. Third Read…I hear it now….whorle. I found this one more difficult to try to vary for some reason. I got close I felt….I’ll have to experiment with it some more.Appreciate your ears!
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Dickson, I absolutely loved #2 and #3. I got bored with #1 and lost about a third through. I hope that was intentional because boy are you other two a far stretch better than the first. Your old miner’s voice is so quarky and fun and I would picture this little man with overalls and a few missing teeth trying to sell this lottery ticket. so much fun. The last one is like a commercial for unsolved mysteries, I was drawn in and wanting more. You are truly good at what your doing.
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Thanks for the immediate feedback. It was intentional to do 3 completely different scripts. Script 1…your normal Mercedes Car commercial. Nothing special there :). The other 2 were a stretch. I think I was too deliberate with the Mercedes commercial. I was trying to keep in mind that the Mercedes read was probably more for a TV commercial and not radio, so I backed off and read it knowing the images of the commercial are the star of the commercial and my voice supports the images. If I had thought of it as a radio ad I probably would have been a little more animated to try to paint an imaginary picture. Still I think I was too pulled back from the read. Thanks!
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Hey all,
I was looking for some feedback for this homework I did. Specifically the ‘Freshii’ ad, I wasn’t purposefully putting my voice in a higher register, it just kinda came out that way every time I would read it. Please let me know if you think it sounds natural or if it sounds too ‘put on’.
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[[At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!]]
[[Can your food market pass a simple taste test? At Balducci’s, we put taste first. This spring, we’re loading up our stores with fresh and chef-crafted foods that are simply bursting with flavor. Like majestic orange wild king salmon, flown in daily. And specialties like champagne ham, slow-smoked over hickory chips and glazed with pineapple juice and brown sugar. Now there’s a store that puts taste first. Balducci’s. The food lover’s market. ]]
[[Now there’s a solution to the soap-opera of shaving. Introducing Intuition. The only all-in-one razor that lathers and shaves in one easy step. You’ll never need shave gel, soap, or body wash again, because Intuition’s triple blades are surrounded by a unique Skin Conditioning Solid. With just water, it smooths and soothes to give you soft, smooth, touchable skin with every shave. Shaving’s never been so simple.]]
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Good job on your practice! After listening to all three, I did feel that the fresshi read was a little much (put on), I suggests reading it with the same excitement but use the voice for the balducci’s as I personally feel that was your best one. The last one felt like you were trying to go too deep with you voice, try reading it again with the balducci’s voice. Other than that great job!
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Pedigree
As one of the world’s leading publishers of books and articles on dog nutrition, the makers of Pedigree can offer a lifetime of reading on the topic. But for your dog we recommend the condensed version. Healthy nuggets – with anti-oxidants and vitamins to help strengthen your dog’s immune system. Crunchy outside, soft inside – Just the way dogs like it. Healthy nuggets, found only in Pedigree.-
Amazing read! I would totally buy this product off of your Ad. What is your equipment set up? And did you edit the music yourself? If so what platform did you use?
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Hi JT
I’ve been collecting “production music” for a long time. My DAW is Adobe Audition CS6 (last standalone version before Adobe got greedy and went to monthly subscription). Just got a Shure MV7 mike. Mike goes through “ancient” Mackie mixer. Old dog, no new tricks. No pun intended. Thanks for listening and commenting.
BillH
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Nailed it as usual.
Just out of curiosity, what’s your studio set up, and what equipment and DAW are you using?-
Hello Shmuel
My DAW is Adobe Audition CS6 (last standalone version before Adobe got greedy and went to monthly subscription). Started with “Cool Edit Pro” which became Adobe Audition 1.0. Have used an EV RE-20 mike for a long time. Just got a Shure MV7 mike. Mike goes through “ancient” Mackie mixer. Thanks for listening and commenting.
BillH
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Bil-Bo, this is a heart warming and great read for Pedigree. I wanted to grab my furbaby up and hold her while listening to this. Only note that I’d have is that you sound a little worn and tired. Overall, I’d definitely buy this brand based off this commercial.
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Pedigree
As one of the world’s leading publishers of books and articles on dog nutrition, the makers of Pedigree can offer a lifetime of reading on the topic. But for your dog we recommend the condensed version. Healthy nuggets – with anti-oxidants and vitamins to help strengthen your dog’s immune system. Crunchy outside, soft inside – Just the way dogs like it. Healthy nuggets, found only in Pedigree.Welch’s
Our farmers know, the best juice stays true to the fruit.
New Farmer’s Pick by Welch’s. One hundred per cent juice, with more of the fruit! Like our own concord grapes, ripe mangoes and the plumpest black berries. With nothing artificial for fresh picked taste. New Farmer’s Pick by Welch’s. Family Farmer Owned. -
Hello everyone! Just looking for some feedback on some practice Vo’s, much appreciated.
Culvers: Guess what! Culver’s sweet potato fries are back! Sweet and salty and cooked to a crispy finish! Don’t forget its for a limited time so hurry on down to culver, because it’s always snack o’clock somewhere.Caribou Coffee: When everything is getting you down, perk up with a caribou coffee. Our slow, dark roasted, coffee is perfect for that never ending day, or that meeting that totally could have been an email. Life is short, stay awake for it. Caribou Coffee
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JTLeyba,
I love your reads. some words seemed forced or have too much energy. They punch you in the face. For example, “are BACK” in the Culvers read and “Perk up” with the Caribou Coffee. Other than that and maybe relaxing the reads a bit, these are great! -
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I did some practice commercial VO recordings and would appreciate any feedback. Note these were recorded via my phone for practice. Thanks much!
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Great job practicing! Your diction was excellent and I could easily understand every word. My suggestions would be to ad a bit a more pep and excitement to your reading. Pretend like your telling your best friend about the latest new trend or product that you just found and love. Keep up the practice, your doing great!
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Hi all-long time no see (or shall I say hear haha). I am starting my narration demo process and and wondering what you all think of this. I know its not the best editing wise but I am looking for feedback on how I sound. Thank you so much!
Taylor
Script: Baxter Industries has implemented a series of strategic actions, to reduce costs, improve shareholder value,
and extend its leadership position worldwide.The actions address the dramatic changes underway in the U.S. health-care system,
and accelerate growth of the company’s medical-technology businesses worldwide.
Baxter has reorganized its U.S. sales force into cross-divisional, regional teams.
This customer-driven initiative establishes a sales structure that mirrors the emerging health-care networks,
and a team-selling approach that provides customers with one primary point of contact. -
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Hi Everyone – This is my first time posting and actually hearing my recorded voice. Sending this in for homework. Totally looking forward to your honest feedback. The first is Peet’s Coffee, second is History Channel and the third is Honey Bunches of Oats. Thanks!
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Hi everyone,
Here’s another homework assignment script. I’m experimenting with different narration scripts to see what works for my voice. I would appreciate any feedback on delivery and connection to the script.
Thank you!
WATERLASE HYDROKINETIC PROCEDURE (tutorial)
Your dentist wants you to watch this video, so that you are completely comfortable with your upcoming Waterlase HydroKinetic procedure. The Waterlase uses technology for a variety of dental procedures, one or more of which you require. We want you to be informed. So in the next 15 minutes, you will learn about the latest care options, and how they will affect you. Using the supplied video glasses, you will ‘virtually’ experience the entire procedure. At anytime, you can pause the presentation and choose an option from the Comfort Care Menu, linked below.-
I really like your voice however I hear an echo in the background which made it a little hard to understand. specifically when you said this line I needed to play it over: “The Waterlase uses technology for a variety of dental procedures, one or more of which you require”.
overall pace was good enough from me to follow along. great job.
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