Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,048 replies, 725 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks, 4 days ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
-
Replies
-
Hey All,
Putting up some more commercial homework.
Definitely attempting to avoid pitching down at the end of sentences. Also thought I’d try some short copy for fun.
1. Foxwoods
2. Georgia Aquarium
3. Steak-Umm
Always happy to get more feedback. Thanks!!!-
-
Great reads, Brad! My favorite was the Georgia Aquarium read. I love the sense of humor you gave in that one. I also love the recording quality of your setup and microphone.
In your Foxwoods spot, I’d probably not over-accentuate the word “rooms” as much since it’s not as important as some of the other words in your script. I do love the overall delivery of that ad, though!
For Steak-Ummm, I love the contrast that you have in the three “Steak-Ummm” examples. I did notice a few mouth sounds in your pauses, though. I also probably wouldn’t have paused as long as you did between “and win” and “on Facebook,” but overall, nice reads! Keep it up!
Stuart
-
-
Howdy! I’m currently developing my commercial chops with the aim of recording my demo in June. Feel free to have a listen to these samples and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Commercial 1: ADIDAS ANTI-PERSPIRANTS AND DEODORANTS
Total control. Total performance. Introducing Adidas Anti-Perspirants and Deodorants.
Adidas…when life is rough.Commercial 2: SPOTIFY
Sometimes you don’t quite know what you want.
Hip hop or k-pop?
Modern country or classic R&B?
EDM or EMO?
Sometimes, you just gotta skip through until you find just what you’re looking for.
Right now, you’re limited to 6 skips an hour.
But with premium, you can have as many skips as you want. Want to try it out free for 30
days? Tap the banner to learn more.-
Nice work Markos! Seems like you are pretty confident in your voice and where you fit. Well done.
Adidas, very minor thought to tap the word ‘and’ as it seems to get slightly swallowed in-between antiperspirants ‘and’ deodorants making to set up that there are two separate items being sold.for Spotify again minor – I might try to make the things you are comparing a just a little more different, example Hip hop or K-Pop sound a little the same.
also I might try to take the whole thing and make it a little more personal. Who are you talking to? Doesn’t it s**k when you can’t skip more than 6 times. If you haven’t heard of this, I’ve got a solution… -
I enjoyed your reads, Markus! You have a nice voice and great overall pace in both scripts. I did feel that you kind of lost your energy on the word “deodorant” in the Adidas commercial, though. Your Spotify Premium ad is spot-on! The only thing I have in this ad is that the last two sentences seemed a bit rushed, especially compared to your earlier pace. You also lost your energy in the last few words. Other than that, keep up the great work!
-
-
Practicing for narration demo–any feedback appreciated. Thank you!
A Guide to Healing Crystals
People’s fascination with semi-precious stones is nothing new. From China to Babylon and Egypt, ancient civilizations dating back thousands of years have used them in rituals, healing, and meditation, believing that certain crystals have protective abilities and energetic qualities.
Scientifically speaking, crystals are made up of atoms of certain elements arranged in a regular grid pattern. Because of their molecular composition, crystals have a specific vibrational frequency that can coincide with that of the human body.-
Really nice, smooth, steady, articulate technical quality to this read! Great finishing on the ends of your sentences. The pace was right on for this type of material/spot.
Creatively I would say you could infuse a bit more intrigue in the first section, as the script says- use of the words fascination, energetic qualities, rituals, believe- lend itself to that. But once you got into the scientific jargon, that same approach to the read really worked.
I could listen to you for a long time. Great job!
-
-
What a warm voice you have! Great for inviting people to listen and learn about crystals and the like. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:
- In the first sentence, spend less time on “is” to reduce emphasizing it; what word deserves more time in that sentence instead?
- In the second sentence, perhaps you can add some varied weighting to the names of the ancient civilization to reinforce the wonder of how such distanced peoples all came to the same conclusion to use crystals in some way
- In the second sentence, “believing” sounds like it’s the start of a new thought; any way to realign it with the rest of the previously listed items?
Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!
-
-
Hello everyone! Here are some commercial scripts I practiced for homework. Thanks for all the feedback!
-
Hi Mara, what was the homework, practicing commercial reads? The first recording with freshy’s was nice. The words were clear. The enthusiasm was there too. I heard from an instructor that, in an audition, the first 30 seconds are very important: either the words flow together, or they don’t, dependent on the direction you’re given.
Freshy’s good performance and recording quality.
Headache commercial is great: you sound like you have a headache, then you take the pill and then you sound like the headache is gone! Great job
Cat commercial has good energy, well-paced,hope this was helpful
-
You’re doing some really good work here, and you have a voice that’s very well suited to V.O. In the Freshii ad, I wonder if you could maybe vary the intonation of the two sequential questions a little more. Sometimes, the enthusiasm you project overheats just a little, sounding just a little punchy (e.g., “black beans”). In the Excedrin ad, it sounds a bit like you’re chanting the word “headaches” at the very beginning. Your Purina reading is particularly good, IMO. I think I hear some extraneous mouth-sounds here and there in all three recordings — a bit of clicking and so forth. Overall, though, really, very good reads. Keep up the good work!
-
-
Hello! Practicing for my narration demo. Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!!
Valle De Guadalupe
Valle de Guadalupe has been referred to as the Napa Valley of Mexico, and for good reason. Its 1000 foot elevation and Mediterranean microclimate create ideal conditions for growing red wine grapes, particularly varietals that don’t fare well in Alta California, and the wines being produced by the region’s wineries are worth serious consideration, even by seasoned oenophiles. Its fine dining restaurants, offering sophisticated food at a fraction of what you’d pay in America, are becoming so popular that their chefs are quickly ascending to celebrity status. But what makes the Valle so interesting is the total lack of pretense in its offerings. Envision Napa, but with no traffic, no “wine train,” no celebrity names on bottles. To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.
-
This is sounding really good. A few tiny details might tighten it up a little (e.g., maybe a little less of a pause between “sophisticated food” and “are becoming”); maybe you could do fewer glottal stops on words that begin with vowels? To my ear, something about “the total lack of pretense in its offerings” sounds a bit flatter than the rest of the reading. I wonder how else you might say that. (Perhaps stress the word “pretense” a little more?) But these are small details. In my non-professional opinion, you could submit this as-is and it would be good. Good flow, good pacing, good “smile” in the sound, good relatability.
-
-
Just realized I uploaded the longer version of the script.
Here is the shortened:
Valle de Guadalupe has been referred to as the Napa Valley of Mexico, and for good reason. Its 1000 foot elevation and Mediterranean microclimate create ideal conditions for growing red wine grapes. Its fine dining restaurants offering sophisticated food are becoming so popular that their chefs are quickly ascending to celebrity status. But what makes the Valle so interesting is the total lack of pretense in its offerings. Envision Napa, but with no traffic, no “wine train,” no celebrity names on bottles. To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.-
Great narration so far: recording quality and performance. My concern is the long pause in; ” To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.” You had a long pause that breaks off the flow of the narration.
Attachments:
-
-
-
-
-
Practicing a more conversation read. I did two takes with two different audiences. I’d welcome your feedback.
Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more. Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
Weelearn – learning through watching.-
I really enjoyed your first take. You sounded more connected to your audience. Very nice conversational tone. I would definitely slow it down a bit as both takes sounded a bit rushed (the second more so than the first). Overall great job!
-
-
There’s a lot of good stuff here. You’ve got a good tone going for this script. I wonder if you might just slow it all down a little. Some parts are read so quickly (particularly in the second reading), your articulation seems to suffer a bit as a result. The opposite side of that coin is that it sometimes sounds like you’re paying so much attention to articulation that some of the flow is sacrificed (e.g., “supplemented by exercises and games”). I hear a couple cadences that are so similar that the “shape” of the read gets a little repetitive — for example, “where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger” in the first reading — it sounds a little like you’re repeating the same musical phrase several times. I wonder if “life, love, work” could be varied just a little more. In general, your tone is very engaging and naturally conversational, and the read is pleasant to listen to. Good work!
-
-
-
-
Hiya folks! Leaving my homework here for feedback. Thanks!
1) Diamonds – Documentary
Today, seventy percent of the world’s rough diamonds pass through the central selling organization, the ESO, established by Debiers at Charterhouse Street in London. To regulate the flow of diamonds and maintain stability of prices on the world market, diamonds are first classified and valued. Here, along the north wall, in natural light, experts sort stones into more than five thousand different categories; based on size, shape, quality and color.2) 4/H – Corpo
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born. They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE.3) Betty Crocker – Biography
Betty Crocker is an imaginary person. Nonetheless, in a 1945 survey she was named the second-best-known woman in America, after Eleanor Roosevelt. She was “born” in 1921 during a Gold Medal flour promotion in which users completed a puzzle to win a pin cushion. Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters–Betty because the name had a warm approachable feel, and Crocker after an early company director, William G, Crocker. The fictional Ms. Crocker became so popular that she soon had her own products and recipe books, many of which still exist today.-
Hey there! I really enjoyed your 4/H read :). It felt more like you were talking to someone rather than just reading out loud and I enjoyed the rhythm of it.
I felt like your levels where a little too high in all 3, but really in the Diamonds read the most. You can check that while you’re recording, or even just try taking a small step away from your mic.
Good job and have fun continuing your practice!
-
-
-
-
I’m really enjoying the rich timbre of your voice! You’ll have no problem with bringing gravitas to your reads on a dime. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:
- avoid sounding choppy with excessive pauses that break up the cohesiveness of your delivery
- add variety to the pitch intonation you utilize at the end of sentences, as these reads can come off as slightly monotonous when always ending downward in pitch
- reduce the distance in pitch that your voice travels when emphasizing; it’s good practice to raise your pitch for emphasis, but doing it with such a jump between words one sentence after the other can give an unsettling bounce throughout your read that detracts from the text itself
Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!
-
-
-
Hi!
Some commercial homework. Working on trying to sound conversational and not presentational! Also, working on not pitching down at the end of my sentences too much. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!!
Waterpik:
If you floss you know what a two-handed tug of war feels like. Which is why we at Waterpik are introducing the Flosser. At a speed of 10,000 gentle strokes per minute, its nylon tip effectively removes plaque above and below the gumline. Making it a fast, easy and more convenient way to keep gums their healthiest, and teeth their cleanest. With no strings attached.Cellular One:
Here’s what I know. I know how to house train a dog. I know long division. I know deep down that most pro-football players are big sissies. I know life is really like a box of chocolates. I know that the big secret to the Crying Game is that it was a c****y movie. I know what time it is. I know Shakespeare new er wrote a play called “I Love To Go Swimming”. Okay, so I know a lot of useless stuff. But one thing I know that is useful, is where to buy a cell phone. And that’s Cellular One. Call 1-800-cell-talk. -
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
