Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi All,
Attached is a practice read from the script library:Jim Henson Museum
Welcome to The Jim Henson museum, located on the very creek where Jim first thought up his alter ego and good friend, Kermit the Frog. Many of Jim’s creations are on display here, and there’s a play area for the youngsters.Thanks in advance for your feedback!
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Hi!
You have such a great tone and quality to your voice that definitely suits these kinds are scripts. I thought it was a fabulous read! The only thing I heard was an east coast type accent specially in the words ‘very’ and ‘thought.’ As a Chicagoan, it slips into my reads as well. I am only mentioning it so you are conscious of it!
Great work and keep it up!
Aylin
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Hi everyone! Just started training and here’s my first HW assignment. Looking forward to your feedback!
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Hey everyone, I just recorded three new reads. Some comments on a few of my uploads declared I sounded more like I was reading than speaking. In addition to adding my pop-filter, I’ve tried a new tactic and I’d appreciate anyone’s thoughts on my performance. Do I sound conversational? Any other feedback on my tone, pitch, volume and tempo would be great. Thank you.
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Hey All, newbie here, Looking to get some feedback on my homework. 🙂 Will take any comments!
Overall looking to hear:
1. When it seems like I’m pushing too much
2. Is my tone (specifically for Stanley and Ryobi) appearing conversational
3. I’ve been working on trying to lift my ends of sentences rather than my natural default of going down.All comments welcome
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Hi Brad! Great work on these!
Stanley Steamer: I do think that it is on the conversational side. That being said, I think you need to make sure the client name pops. It all seemed to morph together. I tend to pitch down too so what helps me is literally writing on the page where I want to go up or down. Also, the ‘call today and save” sounded like a question. But awesome first take!!
Home Depot: This is pretty conversational! I think just make sure to connect with the material and also really focus on the one person you are speaking to.
Junk: Great! No notes
Hope that helps!!
Aylin
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It’s been awhile since my first submission. And thanks to some recent coaching and continued learning through this wonderful platform, I get more and more encouraged. I’d appreciate some feedback on my latest efforts. Here are 6 quick short commercial ads from scripts that I’ve been practicing with recently. Thanks in advance.
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Hi Sean!
You have such a lovely tone! And you are on it with the timing of your reads. I think, especially with the Arby’s script, I was missing you actually seeing that delicious roast beef sandwich in your minds eye. But that’s the only note I have.
Great work!
Aylin
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Hey Sean. Great work! Loving the energy and choices.
some minor feedback, it seems like you have a splashy tongue specifically with your s and z sound. I notice it mostly with the Arby’s and almond breeze ads. I have trouble with this myself as my tongue gets a little lazy sometimes with s combinations especially when being ‘conversational’This definitely disappears or lessens when you have more energy (i know an oxymoron) when being conversational.
Great work!
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Hello Everyone!
Wanted to add two more commercial scripts. Please take a moment to review each. I welcome all feedback. Thx!
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Great work Chad and I agree with Shmuel. As you keep working try to bring a little more of your personality into the reads. That ‘you’ energy will go along way.
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Hi Chad,
You’ve got a rich voice with great potential.
For both reads, you need more emotion in it. Don’t go overboard, though.
Thermacare: No echo, but heard some plosives (P sound). I felt there was a bit too much base. The speech started too early, and cut off a bit early. Give it another moment or second. It felt like I missed something. You need to sound like blocking the pain with ordinary patches is for cavemen, but with Thermacare, you are SAVED !!! something like that.
Jif: What happened to the sound here? Mucho echo here. Add some more acting as well. Shucks, my kids (are kind of crazy, they play around mess up the house, but I love ’em, and what to make sure they’re getting the best. And the best thing to give them is peanut butter.) all they care about is peanut butter …… ( well, if they do, I’ll give them the best).
Keep at it, and wish you success ! -
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Homework after session 2: I’m working on being more conversational, not choppy. Connecting with the material and not bringing certain words downward. Here is a Disney World Resorts Read
“Stay in the Magic at a Disney Resort Hotel. So close to the parks you can make all your Disney wishes come true. And now you can save up to 30% on Select Disney Resort hotels. Imagine the magic of Staying here.”
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Hello!
I love this Disney script. it suits your voice! That being said, idk if you’ve been to Disney but it so soooo magical and and full of wonder and creativity. I think it is missing that bit of amazement! They really put so much attention to detail at the parks and it’s incredible. Really just imagine yourself there!
Great first take though! Keep it up.
Aylin
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Way to try to tackle a tough challenge Lilbelle. Great work.
I might suggest in attempting to be less choppy, to try to say the whole thing through a couple of times ignoring the punctuation and making the whole thing one word. breathe when you need to but just as an exercise to read it through a few times plowing through the whole thing. then add in that you are telling one of your friends about it. I might even suggest trying the copy on a real life relative or friend not selling them anything but actually just telling them the info to get the conversational feel in your bones. Think about if you really wanted to go to disney and (if you don’t know) it’s really expensive to go there so getting 30% off is a HUGE deal.moving forward look at the words that repeat. Stay Magic, Disney and remember the disney co is all about imagining and wonder
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Hello forum,
I’m back again and decided to really stretch and challenge myself with 2 of these 3 scripts…you’ll be able to tell :). Gotta test the limits, you know. Looking forward to hearing some comments. Need to rest the voice a bit. Thanks!
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Hi Dickson,
Good voice, good sound. First read: good, but I would vary it a bit more with a tad more acting. Not too much, you are very close. The text is ” a car that can actually see like a human, using stereotcopic cameras, and even stop itself if it has to. The technology ….. ” the stop itself line seems to be out of place. We are talking about the car seeing, and then one thing the car can do alluvasudden. It needs to be moved, or a couple of words to introduce it, like “…. cameras, this car can even stop itself if it has to …. ”
Second read: Cool, you sound like a different person. This is fun, I’m a gunna buy me a lottery ticket next time I’m in Omaha !
Third read: Yet a third person. Nice. Minor quibble: “In this world” sounds like “in this whorle”. And I would vary the read a bit. Just a bit, because it’s at the same spooky level the whole way.-
Great points, Shumel! Excellent points the more I read them, actually. That is how the script should read. That helps me A LOT!
Thanks for the comments on the 2nd read. Third Read…I hear it now….whorle. I found this one more difficult to try to vary for some reason. I got close I felt….I’ll have to experiment with it some more.Appreciate your ears!
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Dickson, I absolutely loved #2 and #3. I got bored with #1 and lost about a third through. I hope that was intentional because boy are you other two a far stretch better than the first. Your old miner’s voice is so quarky and fun and I would picture this little man with overalls and a few missing teeth trying to sell this lottery ticket. so much fun. The last one is like a commercial for unsolved mysteries, I was drawn in and wanting more. You are truly good at what your doing.
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Thanks for the immediate feedback. It was intentional to do 3 completely different scripts. Script 1…your normal Mercedes Car commercial. Nothing special there :). The other 2 were a stretch. I think I was too deliberate with the Mercedes commercial. I was trying to keep in mind that the Mercedes read was probably more for a TV commercial and not radio, so I backed off and read it knowing the images of the commercial are the star of the commercial and my voice supports the images. If I had thought of it as a radio ad I probably would have been a little more animated to try to paint an imaginary picture. Still I think I was too pulled back from the read. Thanks!
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Hey all,
I was looking for some feedback for this homework I did. Specifically the ‘Freshii’ ad, I wasn’t purposefully putting my voice in a higher register, it just kinda came out that way every time I would read it. Please let me know if you think it sounds natural or if it sounds too ‘put on’.
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Good job on your practice! After listening to all three, I did feel that the fresshi read was a little much (put on), I suggests reading it with the same excitement but use the voice for the balducci’s as I personally feel that was your best one. The last one felt like you were trying to go too deep with you voice, try reading it again with the balducci’s voice. Other than that great job!
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