Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi all. I posted a question over on the home studio forum under the “hardware and software recommendations” section. But I see now that it doesn’t look like anyone’s been in that section for months. If you have a chance to take a peek and have any thoughts, please let me know. Thanks. Toque.
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GREY GOOSE V***A
THIS IS WHERE MUSICIANS GO TO HEAR EACH OTHER PLAY. THE ROOM IS
ALIVE. THE CROWD IS FULL OF FAMILIAR, KNOWING FACES WHOSE
EXPRESSIONS ARE AS MUCH A PART OF THE PERFORMANCE AS THE
MUSIC ITSELF. FROM THIS ROOM, YOU’RE TRANSPORTED TO PLACES ALL OVER
THE WORLD….AND FEELINGS FROM ALL OVER YOUR LIFE. THAT’S WHY YOU
COME HERE…..BE TAKEN THERE. GREY GOOSE. WORLD’S BEST TASTING V***A.HARDWARE PLUS
I JUST FOUND THE MOST AMAZING STORE IN STRATFORD. HARDWARE PLUS. NO ORDINARY HARDWARE STORE. HARDWARE PLUS IS AN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS FACTORY OUTLET. NOT ONLY ARE THE PRICES AND SELECTION INCREDIBLE, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE REALLY KNOW HARDWARE. I NEVER GET THAT KIND OF KNOW-HOW AND SERVICE AT THOSE WAREHOUSE-TYPE HOME CENTERS OR SO-CALLED “CLUBS”. EASY TO GET TO – RIGHT OFF EXIT 59 OF THE CONNECTICUT TURNPIKE. HARDWARE PLUS — YOU’LL SEE THE DIFFERENCE. -
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Hello! These are some scripts I wrote up and recorded as part of my homework. If you’d like to give some feedback on either the writing or recordings themselves as I’m new to both I’d be much appreciated!
Battle House Laser Combat
Hmm, something absolutely thrilling! Something adrenaline pumping! Wait, Battle House Laser Combat has a massive, multi-story, 15,000 square foot laser arena. Let’s go there!Uncle Jacob’s Stout
Go ahead, grab one of my Uncle Jacob’s Stouts. You will love it! Its got this incredibly robust, silky smooth, full-bodied Imperial Stout taste.Aura App
I find my inner peace with Aura. Its an Apple award-winning app for emotional health & sleep. Let Aura be your one-stop solution for emotional health.-
Good recording quality. Good performances. What was the homework, write a commercial? Create characters?
1) Laser cannon arena was cool to hear. Although, I thought your character was in the same mood throughout the performance. I can see this as a commercial. But one thing I learned was that the more high notes you have in your commercial/ character performances, the more low notes you may need. Try performing it faster and maintaining high and low notes: like something you might see on a commercial advertisement: example “Rated E for Everyone”, “Join your favorite characters on this epic adventure…”
2) The Stout was an engaging read and you sound like you’re being conversational and inviting to buy the product. Very nice!
3) Aura App was nice, you sound like you’re advertising the best solution for relaxation and going to sleep/ having inner peace. Good job!
Hope this comment and critique was helpful!
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Hi everyone! This is my first time posting in the feedback forum. I’m a complete amateur when it comes to VO, but I do have fascinations with speech, accents, dialects, and the like. I do have a great friend who sometimes acts as my voice coach, and he has given me helpful tips for VO on an occasional basis over the past few years.
I’m far more experienced with radio imaging and promos than commercials/spots, so for starters, I went into the script library and found a radio promo and a TV news promo (I’ve never done anything like the latter before). I would love any and all feedback that you may have!
I should also let you guys know that I do have an unusual way of saying the CH, SH, J, and soft G sounds in my natural speech. I’ve had them all my life, and I’m still trying to work on that over time.
Thank you so much!
Stuart
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Hey Stuart, Great reads. Very casual and upbeat. I really like listening to you lean into your natural voice without attempting to ‘hide’ it. The flow you have is to be admired.
For the Smooth Jazz read it may be fun to try a little (hard to say this without being a little cheeky) more ‘smooth jazz’ flavor – again just for fun. Just to see what that point of view does to the read
For eyewitness news I’ be curious to hear what more of the bass notes of your voice sound like (again just for fun)
Nice work.
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Great job with the Commercial and Radio V.O performances! Very upbeat, interesting to listen to, you got me thinking of some tv shows I used to watch when I still had cable; Join us next week for another episode of…Stay tuned and see the winners of this contest..”. Stuart, you would be great as a DJ Radio personality!
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Thank you so much, SuperLuke! I really appreciate your kind words!
I actually used to host a podcast that I created a while back, and I kind of had that type of voice in mind. I now own a tiny radio station in my apartment (where my username comes from) which I do a morning show on, and that has given me amazing practice. My friend who is sometimes my voice coach is in fact the imaging voice of my station, and I am now gaining production practice experience by making imaging pieces for the station. (If you search Blue 96.7 on SoundCloud, you can feel free to hear what I’ve done with my station!)
Thank you so much again for your feedback!
Stuart
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Hey All,
Putting up some more commercial homework.
Definitely attempting to avoid pitching down at the end of sentences. Also thought I’d try some short copy for fun.
1. Foxwoods
2. Georgia Aquarium
3. Steak-Umm
Always happy to get more feedback. Thanks!!!-
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Great reads, Brad! My favorite was the Georgia Aquarium read. I love the sense of humor you gave in that one. I also love the recording quality of your setup and microphone.
In your Foxwoods spot, I’d probably not over-accentuate the word “rooms” as much since it’s not as important as some of the other words in your script. I do love the overall delivery of that ad, though!
For Steak-Ummm, I love the contrast that you have in the three “Steak-Ummm” examples. I did notice a few mouth sounds in your pauses, though. I also probably wouldn’t have paused as long as you did between “and win” and “on Facebook,” but overall, nice reads! Keep it up!
Stuart
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Howdy! I’m currently developing my commercial chops with the aim of recording my demo in June. Feel free to have a listen to these samples and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Commercial 1: ADIDAS ANTI-PERSPIRANTS AND DEODORANTS
Total control. Total performance. Introducing Adidas Anti-Perspirants and Deodorants.
Adidas…when life is rough.Commercial 2: SPOTIFY
Sometimes you don’t quite know what you want.
Hip hop or k-pop?
Modern country or classic R&B?
EDM or EMO?
Sometimes, you just gotta skip through until you find just what you’re looking for.
Right now, you’re limited to 6 skips an hour.
But with premium, you can have as many skips as you want. Want to try it out free for 30
days? Tap the banner to learn more.-
Nice work Markos! Seems like you are pretty confident in your voice and where you fit. Well done.
Adidas, very minor thought to tap the word ‘and’ as it seems to get slightly swallowed in-between antiperspirants ‘and’ deodorants making to set up that there are two separate items being sold.for Spotify again minor – I might try to make the things you are comparing a just a little more different, example Hip hop or K-Pop sound a little the same.
also I might try to take the whole thing and make it a little more personal. Who are you talking to? Doesn’t it s**k when you can’t skip more than 6 times. If you haven’t heard of this, I’ve got a solution… -
I enjoyed your reads, Markus! You have a nice voice and great overall pace in both scripts. I did feel that you kind of lost your energy on the word “deodorant” in the Adidas commercial, though. Your Spotify Premium ad is spot-on! The only thing I have in this ad is that the last two sentences seemed a bit rushed, especially compared to your earlier pace. You also lost your energy in the last few words. Other than that, keep up the great work!
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Practicing for narration demo–any feedback appreciated. Thank you!
A Guide to Healing Crystals
People’s fascination with semi-precious stones is nothing new. From China to Babylon and Egypt, ancient civilizations dating back thousands of years have used them in rituals, healing, and meditation, believing that certain crystals have protective abilities and energetic qualities.
Scientifically speaking, crystals are made up of atoms of certain elements arranged in a regular grid pattern. Because of their molecular composition, crystals have a specific vibrational frequency that can coincide with that of the human body.-
Really nice, smooth, steady, articulate technical quality to this read! Great finishing on the ends of your sentences. The pace was right on for this type of material/spot.
Creatively I would say you could infuse a bit more intrigue in the first section, as the script says- use of the words fascination, energetic qualities, rituals, believe- lend itself to that. But once you got into the scientific jargon, that same approach to the read really worked.
I could listen to you for a long time. Great job!
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What a warm voice you have! Great for inviting people to listen and learn about crystals and the like. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:
- In the first sentence, spend less time on “is” to reduce emphasizing it; what word deserves more time in that sentence instead?
- In the second sentence, perhaps you can add some varied weighting to the names of the ancient civilization to reinforce the wonder of how such distanced peoples all came to the same conclusion to use crystals in some way
- In the second sentence, “believing” sounds like it’s the start of a new thought; any way to realign it with the rest of the previously listed items?
Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!
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Hello everyone! Here are some commercial scripts I practiced for homework. Thanks for all the feedback!
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Hi Mara, what was the homework, practicing commercial reads? The first recording with freshy’s was nice. The words were clear. The enthusiasm was there too. I heard from an instructor that, in an audition, the first 30 seconds are very important: either the words flow together, or they don’t, dependent on the direction you’re given.
Freshy’s good performance and recording quality.
Headache commercial is great: you sound like you have a headache, then you take the pill and then you sound like the headache is gone! Great job
Cat commercial has good energy, well-paced,hope this was helpful
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You’re doing some really good work here, and you have a voice that’s very well suited to V.O. In the Freshii ad, I wonder if you could maybe vary the intonation of the two sequential questions a little more. Sometimes, the enthusiasm you project overheats just a little, sounding just a little punchy (e.g., “black beans”). In the Excedrin ad, it sounds a bit like you’re chanting the word “headaches” at the very beginning. Your Purina reading is particularly good, IMO. I think I hear some extraneous mouth-sounds here and there in all three recordings — a bit of clicking and so forth. Overall, though, really, very good reads. Keep up the good work!
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Hello! Practicing for my narration demo. Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!!
Valle De Guadalupe
Valle de Guadalupe has been referred to as the Napa Valley of Mexico, and for good reason. Its 1000 foot elevation and Mediterranean microclimate create ideal conditions for growing red wine grapes, particularly varietals that don’t fare well in Alta California, and the wines being produced by the region’s wineries are worth serious consideration, even by seasoned oenophiles. Its fine dining restaurants, offering sophisticated food at a fraction of what you’d pay in America, are becoming so popular that their chefs are quickly ascending to celebrity status. But what makes the Valle so interesting is the total lack of pretense in its offerings. Envision Napa, but with no traffic, no “wine train,” no celebrity names on bottles. To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.
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This is sounding really good. A few tiny details might tighten it up a little (e.g., maybe a little less of a pause between “sophisticated food” and “are becoming”); maybe you could do fewer glottal stops on words that begin with vowels? To my ear, something about “the total lack of pretense in its offerings” sounds a bit flatter than the rest of the reading. I wonder how else you might say that. (Perhaps stress the word “pretense” a little more?) But these are small details. In my non-professional opinion, you could submit this as-is and it would be good. Good flow, good pacing, good “smile” in the sound, good relatability.
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Just realized I uploaded the longer version of the script.
Here is the shortened:
Valle de Guadalupe has been referred to as the Napa Valley of Mexico, and for good reason. Its 1000 foot elevation and Mediterranean microclimate create ideal conditions for growing red wine grapes. Its fine dining restaurants offering sophisticated food are becoming so popular that their chefs are quickly ascending to celebrity status. But what makes the Valle so interesting is the total lack of pretense in its offerings. Envision Napa, but with no traffic, no “wine train,” no celebrity names on bottles. To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.-
Great narration so far: recording quality and performance. My concern is the long pause in; ” To visit this area is to spend a weekend in a state of low-key bliss, as long as your idea of a perfect Saturday involves good, inexpensive wine and friendly vineyard dogs.” You had a long pause that breaks off the flow of the narration.
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