[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Jeff Guerrette]

Hello Edge Community looking for some feed back with the 3 commercials I did for homework.

Thanks,
Jeff

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[JasonCawley]

Hey Jeff, overall great feel on these three. GNC felt a little over compressed, the other two sounded good recording quality wise.

GNC – Great pacing and energy right off the bat, drags a touch in the middle, try to keep the energy throughout the whole read.

Panasonic – Love to hear you open up a little more, maybe take a bit of a longer pause after asking the listener to listen.

Ridgid – Good energy throughout here, maybe try and hit the last “Ridgid” a little harder, but honestly it’s solid without any changes.

Great work! Keep it up! Nothing felt like a script read, felt very natural.

[Amitofu]

Hey all.
Trying to fine tune my believability. Let me know what you think or if you have any cool tips.

///

Only Ziploc brand bags have a unique interlocking zipper to lock in freshness in a way no other bag can. When it comes out this fresh, you know it went in a Ziploc bag. Ziploc. We’ve got a lock on freshness.

—

Kids hate the word ‘no’. As in ‘no’ you can’t stay up late, ‘no’ you can’t have more ice cream and ‘no’, you may not paint the cat. ‘No, no, NO!’ Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!

—

My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do. LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Riquelmi]

Hi Amitofou,

I really liked the second one about the kids- your tone was fun, dynamic and i BELIEVED you. I especially liked the way you said the YES at the end.

good job,
Riquelmi

[SuperLuke]

Here’s my finished, and produced V.O. Demo with Edge Studio.

Please feel free to leave your feedback and tell me what you think of my first V.O Reel

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Erik B]

Hi Luke, congrats on a great demo. The McFatty’s part had me cracking up. Great job Man!

[RYoung]

Hi Luke, Congrats on a great demo! I like the Bain character, great work and good luck!
Rich

[SuperLuke]

Thank you, RYoung. It was a great experience for me to train with Jay Snyder. My Bane character was more of a Lex Luthor. I like using my lower register.

[Amitofu]

Not half bad. The first two really sold me.
If I may be so bold as to say what I immediately picked up on (because everyone kinda does it, myself included, in the aspiring stages) : I would be cautiously aware of this general pattern as well as this instance – When you say in the 3rd ad “Tonight! Tonight You must save us from the dragon in(?) the volcano” – It kinda does this whisper-shout thing that breaks the immersion. You need to not sound as if you were afraid of waking up someone in the next room, (which means really honing your gain on your interface and talking candidly with your sound engineer). Your acting and energy is there, but the projection needs to sound like you are actually shouting at someone (which again, isn’t easy tech wise). It’s kinda like we pick up on the subconscious hesitation to the raw volume that an angry/loud person ‘would’ have. So I’d say half is actor technique (sound like you are really chewing someone out! pantomiming if nessicary) and after that it’s trial and error to see what your equipment can handle at what settings. I’d practice ‘sounding’ loud without actually being loud. be passionate like a military drill instructor who is nose-to-nose with a ensign – They are intense and intent, but controlled. Sorry if I can’t quite put it to words.

Other than that, I’m sure your coach talked to you about having a separate character and commercial demo. I recogninsed the McFatty ad from the “Voice Over – Voice actor” book (Yuri Lowenthal). In terms of character demo, I’d create a different script because it sounds like a commercial, and also it needs to be unique from what anyone else is doing.

I can definitely see you’ve improved quite bit from when you first started uploading. Casting by character demos (for major productions) is just extremely selective with very few second shots given (so I’m told). At anyrate, rather you decide to hold off or not, don’t be discouraged. You have potential, but characters are highly competitive so even amongst perfect demos, it can be luck of the draw or who do you know/network with. I’m telling myself as much as you, haha. It’s a tough road, but if it’s something you love, don’t quit.

Take care and feel free to ask for elaboration (not that this isn’t already long-winded, haha)
-Alex M

[SuperLuke]

Thank you for your comment and critique, Alex.
The First Two characters of mine were the most fun to perform as: a Lex Luthor homage and a Maverick, Clint Eastwood homage.

Please note that my third character is saying, “Sir Knight, you must save us from the dragon…as a Cockney. It’s not “Tonight”, it’s “Sir knight…”

I know my Character Demo must be different from my Commercial demo. But one of my characters was a DJ and my coach thought I could perform it very well. Jay Snyder and I collaborated my DJ’s awesome, yet humorous radio personality, inserting “McFatty’s”, at the very last minute while we were recording together with the engineer, Kevin. Kevin suggested where I should put the Gain at and he picked all of the takes himself, out of the 72 I made of everyone in the demo in those 2 hours.

I also know the V.O world is very picky about casting and that the first words out of your mouth tell the Director everything they need to know about if you’re fit for the part.

[carynbell]

Hey everybody!

Trying to work on improving diction and adding variety. Feedback is appreciated as always!

Thanks!

9 PLANETS

About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born. In those first moments, intensely hot hydrogen and helium raced outward – thinning, cooling, and clumping into vast, organized structures.
Within a few billion years, countless galaxies had emerged. Each one containing hundreds of billions of stars – constantly changing in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. In one of these galaxies, about 5 billions years ago, one average-sized star, our sun, captured in its gravitational field the gas and dust that would become 9 planets.

OFFICIAL ALASKA PLANNING VIDEO

This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Amitofu]

Hey carynbell,
I agree with andrea that the Alaska one needs a bit more energy; like you’re actually there breathing in the mountain/snowy air. What ‘may’ help with articulation (more in the astronomy one) is adjusting your distance to the mic as well as your speaking volume. Felt maybe like you were a little quiet and adjust your tech around that instead of the other way around. If you want a more elaborate tech dissection, let me know, but if you’re just using a non-pro studio for practice, I won’t overload you, haha.

[Andrea]

Hi,
Love your demo! Great character voices. How long did it take you to get here?
Hope you can book lots of work 🙂
Andrea

[Andrea]

Hi,
Sorry, for some reason, the message intended for SuperLuke keeps getting posted here.

Here’s the feedback I meant to give you:
You sound knowledgeable; I like that.
9 PLANETS: It seemed to me that some of the Ss and Rs were maybe to soft. Words like hydrogen, organized, average-sized, gas could be articulated more clearly.
ALASKA: Maybe you could put a bit more energy into the read to make it sound more inviting? Also, you could find the elements in the lists at different pitches to add variety.
Keep up the good work!

[VO_by_SJ]

Hello all!

I am in the process of preparing for my narration demo record. Just uploading a couple of samples (not exact pieces from my demo) here for feedback/practice. Looking for more creative and technical critiques, rather than audio quality related ones.
Thanks!
Sara Jester

Script 1: Creativity

Creativity is not the same as hard work or effort, it requires genuine inspiration. It’s the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question, a situation or a possibility. Therefore creativity does not come in exchange for money or rewards, but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.

Script 2: Starbucks About

Every day, we go to work hoping to do two things: share great coffee with our friends and help make the world a little better. It was true when the first Starbucks opened in 1971, and it’s just as true today.

Back then, the company was a single store in Seattle’s historic Pike Place Market. From just a narrow storefront, Starbucks offered some of the world’s finest fresh-roasted whole bean coffees. The name, inspired by Moby D**k, evoked the romance of the high seas and the seafaring tradition of the early coffee traders.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Erik B]

Hi Sara, I enjoyed both reads, I’ll share with you my notes for each read after listening a couple of times.

Creativity – great tone, good pacing, emphasized key words well.

Starbucks – great tone, good pacing, emphasized key words nicely, liked in particular, “”world’s finest fresh-roasted whole bean coffees.”

Great job, you’re going to do well with your demo. Thumbs up.

[SuperLuke]

Hi Sarah, I enjoyed the performance. There weren’t any tech problems and the performances were both really well done. I guess it depends on the kind of Voice Over Demo you are aiming for. If you’re aim is to be a commercial V.O talent, I think you are in the right spot with your performances. I was taught in an Audition class that sometimes the first words you say will be what the casting director look for. I was also taught that the goal of voice actors is to emphasize the key words that the director wants to hear.

I think you will do just fine when it comes to doing your demo. Remember that we’re all here for you and that your coach is your best friend as well as your teacher!

Hope this was a helpful comment and critique

[Michelle]

Hello all! Thanks in advance for the feedback!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[carynbell]

Nice read. Only critique is that you may consider shortening the pauses a bit and maybe play with varying speed and pitch. Good work!

[blue967fm]

Hey Michelle! I really enjoyed your read. Nice use of pauses and great audio quality. You also have a nice voice for these types of ads.

The only thing I’d say is that the first sentence could have a little more inflection – perhaps in the same way that you read the second sentence (which I like as far as your character here – emphasizing that a high fever is no fun at all). Other than that, great work! Keep it up!

Stuart

[SuperLuke]

Hi Michelle, the first sentence is audible. But it’s not audible enough. When you say, “You know what it’s like to wait it out, you have greater energy. Why not use that similar energy in the first sentence? It could be better: “she has a high fever” sound more like you’re sad and then being given the Advil you sound really happy and relieved, like a “product guaranteed to work” (you nailed the last line perfectly)

hope this critique helps

[Toque]

Hi all. I posted a question over on the home studio forum under the “hardware and software recommendations” section. But I see now that it doesn’t look like anyone’s been in that section for months. If you have a chance to take a peek and have any thoughts, please let me know. Thanks. Toque.

[Amitofu]

I replied to your post what I could, but I’m relatively underqualified, so take as you will.

-Alex M.

[Bil-Bo]

GREY GOOSE V***A
THIS IS WHERE MUSICIANS GO TO HEAR EACH OTHER PLAY. THE ROOM IS
ALIVE. THE CROWD IS FULL OF FAMILIAR, KNOWING FACES WHOSE
EXPRESSIONS ARE AS MUCH A PART OF THE PERFORMANCE AS THE
MUSIC ITSELF. FROM THIS ROOM, YOU’RE TRANSPORTED TO PLACES ALL OVER
THE WORLD….AND FEELINGS FROM ALL OVER YOUR LIFE. THAT’S WHY YOU
COME HERE…..BE TAKEN THERE. GREY GOOSE. WORLD’S BEST TASTING V***A.

HARDWARE PLUS
I JUST FOUND THE MOST AMAZING STORE IN STRATFORD. HARDWARE PLUS. NO ORDINARY HARDWARE STORE. HARDWARE PLUS IS AN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS FACTORY OUTLET. NOT ONLY ARE THE PRICES AND SELECTION INCREDIBLE, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE REALLY KNOW HARDWARE. I NEVER GET THAT KIND OF KNOW-HOW AND SERVICE AT THOSE WAREHOUSE-TYPE HOME CENTERS OR SO-CALLED “CLUBS”. EASY TO GET TO – RIGHT OFF EXIT 59 OF THE CONNECTICUT TURNPIKE. HARDWARE PLUS — YOU’LL SEE THE DIFFERENCE.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Riquelmi]

bil-bo
i too liked both of the commercials! you have a great voice. I am wondering if for the hardware one.. you can slow it down a bit. Overall, great work.

riquelmi

[SuperLuke]

Good job with the commercial performances. Nice recording quality, including the music, and the southern accent. You hit and nailed all, or most of the key words too. I felt like I was in a commercial.

[Tim-A-Doherty-VO]

Hello! These are some scripts I wrote up and recorded as part of my homework. If you’d like to give some feedback on either the writing or recordings themselves as I’m new to both I’d be much appreciated!

Battle House Laser Combat
Hmm, something absolutely thrilling! Something adrenaline pumping! Wait, Battle House Laser Combat has a massive, multi-story, 15,000 square foot laser arena. Let’s go there!

Uncle Jacob’s Stout
Go ahead, grab one of my Uncle Jacob’s Stouts. You will love it! Its got this incredibly robust, silky smooth, full-bodied Imperial Stout taste.

Aura App
I find my inner peace with Aura. Its an Apple award-winning app for emotional health & sleep. Let Aura be your one-stop solution for emotional health.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[SuperLuke]

Good recording quality. Good performances. What was the homework, write a commercial? Create characters?

1) Laser cannon arena was cool to hear. Although, I thought your character was in the same mood throughout the performance. I can see this as a commercial. But one thing I learned was that the more high notes you have in your commercial/ character performances, the more low notes you may need. Try performing it faster and maintaining high and low notes: like something you might see on a commercial advertisement: example “Rated E for Everyone”, “Join your favorite characters on this epic adventure…”

2) The Stout was an engaging read and you sound like you’re being conversational and inviting to buy the product. Very nice!

3) Aura App was nice, you sound like you’re advertising the best solution for relaxation and going to sleep/ having inner peace. Good job!

Hope this comment and critique was helpful!

[Tim-A-Doherty-VO]

Thank you! Yeah the homework was to come up with my own commercial scripts and record as though it were real work. Definitely understand your first point. I’ll keep that in mind for the future. Your comment was very helpful, thank you for taking the time to critique them!!

[blue967fm]

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting in the feedback forum. I’m a complete amateur when it comes to VO, but I do have fascinations with speech, accents, dialects, and the like. I do have a great friend who sometimes acts as my voice coach, and he has given me helpful tips for VO on an occasional basis over the past few years.

I’m far more experienced with radio imaging and promos than commercials/spots, so for starters, I went into the script library and found a radio promo and a TV news promo (I’ve never done anything like the latter before). I would love any and all feedback that you may have!

I should also let you guys know that I do have an unusual way of saying the CH, SH, J, and soft G sounds in my natural speech. I’ve had them all my life, and I’m still trying to work on that over time.

Thank you so much!

Stuart

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Brad]

Hey Stuart, Great reads. Very casual and upbeat. I really like listening to you lean into your natural voice without attempting to ‘hide’ it. The flow you have is to be admired.

For the Smooth Jazz read it may be fun to try a little (hard to say this without being a little cheeky) more ‘smooth jazz’ flavor – again just for fun. Just to see what that point of view does to the read

For eyewitness news I’ be curious to hear what more of the bass notes of your voice sound like (again just for fun)

Nice work.

[SuperLuke]

Great job with the Commercial and Radio V.O performances! Very upbeat, interesting to listen to, you got me thinking of some tv shows I used to watch when I still had cable; Join us next week for another episode of…Stay tuned and see the winners of this contest..”. Stuart, you would be great as a DJ Radio personality!

[blue967fm]

Thank you so much, SuperLuke! I really appreciate your kind words!

I actually used to host a podcast that I created a while back, and I kind of had that type of voice in mind. I now own a tiny radio station in my apartment (where my username comes from) which I do a morning show on, and that has given me amazing practice. My friend who is sometimes my voice coach is in fact the imaging voice of my station, and I am now gaining production practice experience by making imaging pieces for the station. (If you search Blue 96.7 on SoundCloud, you can feel free to hear what I’ve done with my station!)

Thank you so much again for your feedback!

Stuart

[blue967fm]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Brad! I decided to give both of your notes a go, just for the fun of it. Thank you again!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Author]

Replies