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  • #67497
    billmull
    Participant

    Hello, this is a corporate training script so I was trying to avoid reading too fast. Some may interpret this as choppy. I welcome any feedback although I am primarily interested in feedback related to performance. The last sentence is a bit long and so was a bit of a mouthful to get out on one breath. Unfortunately, there is no natural place in the sentence to pause so I didn’t think it was an option for me to pause and breath anywhere. Thanks for any feedback.

    Here’s the script:
    In addition to mid-year and end-of-year evaluations, it’s your responsibility to be transparent with your associates about their performance throughout the year. You should have regular check-ins with your associates to talk about their performance. Use this time to set objectives, agree on development opportunities, and provide feedback, coaching, and performance or development reviews.

    Later in this course we will walk through scenarios to assist you in evaluating and communicating performance reviews more consistently.

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    • #67512
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      It was a good performance, Bill. Very nice. You don’t sound Choppy at all.

      I could hear you pause a little bit, running out of breath at times. Good tone and tempo. Good enunciation. Have you tried the words to time calculator? I think the trick is to breathe through the nose. That, and there’s a trick I learned here about how much you can say in a given time, with a pencil, or pen, in your mouth. And see how many words can you get out in rehearsal before you have it at the right speed and length you need. Don’t perform the take with the pen in your mouth though. It is meant to help build your muscle memory and keep things going without pausing at the wrong time.

    • #67500
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Bill, I like this read. The tone and tempo are very good. You enunciate clearly, and the recording quality is solid. The only minor suggestion I have is to maybe differentiate just a little more between, “set objectives, agree on development opportunities, and provide feedback, coaching, and performance or development reviews.” But overall very good job.

  • #67493
    Andrea
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    Here’s another read as part of my homework assignment. Any feedback on performance is much appreciated (tone of voice, neutral English, intonation, valuing, etc.). Anything you can think of 🙂

    Thanks for your help!

    It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root.And grew.Grew kids who are confident and strong.Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born.They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE

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    • #67501
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Andrea. The pacing and tone of the read are good. I liked the way you read the last three sentences. The only critique I have is, at times you sound tense during the read. Maybe try to envision talking to a friend, and telling them about 4H. Overall good job.

  • #67343
    Tiffany Desrosiers
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’m back with some more practice reads. As always, I appreciate your feedback!

    *Note- I wasn’t able to use my regular mic tonight so they may not sound as CRISP!*

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    • #67637
      Shmuel
      Participant

      I can tell you are not using the normal mic. There’s also some mouth noise, and some background white noise.
      First read: good
      Second read: It’s a poem, so I would like to hear just a little sing-song. Not too much. Think Dr. Seuss.
      Freshy: Sounds like you are just reading the text. You need to use your own acting with it. Make it yours.

    • #67517
      Andrea
      Participant

      Hi Tiffany,

      The second one sounds really good. I liked the pacing and the pitch shifts. The third one could use a bit more energy, I believe. And a smile.
      Good job.

      Andrea

  • #67335
    JasonCawley
    Participant

    Any feedback is appreciated, thanks.

    So what is the fate of the universe? how does it all end? Cosmologists have thought about this for a long time. Many have come to the conclusion that the end will come in more of a whimper then a bang. it is known as the “heat death”. and it begins with a decrease in the rate of star formation. looking up in the southern sky allows us to see a hint of this process.

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    • #67337
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Jason, great voice. I liked this recording. Your pacing sounds good, and you differntiate well from sentence to sentence. Also the recording quality sounds solid. Good job.

  • #67321
    erichardson001
    Participant

    Looking for feedback on my contest entry from last month (Amelia Earhart). Thanks

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    • #67333
      JasonCawley
      Participant

      Hey Eric,

      I love your tone for this type of read. Just keep a listener in mind when you’re doing this type of read, like you’re talking to someone who is super interested but might be younger to get it more conversational. I think it would help to get some space between “an” and “enigma”

  • #67315
    Jorjecat09
    Participant

    Hi Everyone! Posting again for homework for the second time. I’m uncertain if I’m my own worst critic or if these recordings are decent. Please let me know your honest opinion. The first is Carnation Breakfast Essentials, Atlanta Bread Company and Pickeball.

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  • #67311
    ryanp.bogie
    Participant

    Happy Mother’s Day everyone! Here are the recordings for my homewok. Thank you so much for everyone who left feedback on my earlier posts. I tried my best to implement what you said in my new recordings. Any additional feedback is always welcomed.

    Thank you once again!
    -Ryan Bogie

    Crayola Markers
    Crayola Color Wonder Markers color only on special paper. So your kids can express their creativity more often…in more places…with less mess. Crayola Color Wonder. It starts with Crayola.

    YouTube Red
    Like watching YouTube? Like watching the 30 second ads at the beginning of videos? Didn’t think so. With a YouTube Red subscription, you could watch as many ad-free videos you like, offline. You can even listen to videos in the background when you open another app, and have access to exclusive content made by YouTube creators themselves. All this for only $9.99 a month, with a one-month free trial.

    Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party
    HALLOWEEN… WITH A DISNEY TWIST!
 The witching hour’s almost here, so get your favorite costume ready for Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party, a special event in Magic Kingdom park!
    It’s the happiest haunting on Earth! Don’t miss your chance to collect candies, sweets and frightfully delightful treats—all while the park hosts grim grinning ghosts, eerie entertainment and Disney Characters that go bump in the night.
    Best of all: since the tone of this event is “not-so-scary,” that means children of every age can enjoy the fun!

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    • #67339
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Ryan. I’ll share with you my notes for each of the three reads.

      Crayola – good tempo and pacing. The Crayola Color Wonder line sounded like it ended with upspeak, watch out for that. Good recording quality

      You Tube Red – This was my favorite of the three recordings. Good build-up as the read continues. In the fourth sentence like, offline needed a pause. Good recording quality.

      Mickey’s Halloween – good character. Sentences with exclamation marks needed to be accentuated more/more umph. Good recording quality.

      Overall good job.

  • #67301
    blue967fm
    Participant

    Hey everyone, and happy Mother’s Day! I thought this may be a fun comparison. I took some ads that I recorded 4-5 years ago for a friend’s former experimental Internet stations (which gave me great practice back then) and rerecorded them. I’ll send both recordings for each to compare, starting with the re-recorded versions.

    I no longer have the emails with the scripts on them, so I wrote up a transcript for each ad based on my old recordings.

    I would love any feedback that you may have! Thank you so much!

    New Jersey Transit
    Need a better way to get around? Need to get somewhere faster? Need a service you can rely on 24/7? New Jersey Transit trains get you to your destination on time without delay or hassle. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery of New Jersey throughout your journey. If a train is not necessary to get where you need to be, try the NJ Transit bus. The bus will help you get to your destination without delay or stall. New Jersey Transit – the way to go. Learn more at njtransit.com.

    NextRadio
    Have you been listening to the radio online, where it just seems to do nothing but buffer? Don’t you wish it would just play the music? Well, with the NextRadio app, you can listen to all FM music and talk stations in your area right over the air! No buffering or payments required. You can even call or text station DJs straight from the app. Get NextRadio today! Downloadable from the Google Play Store. Check your local phone carriers. If you can’t get NextRadio, call your carrier and ask them to turn on the FM radio chip in your phone. Start listening to local radio on your smartphone today!

    Rhode Island SPCA
    Do you love pets? Ever wish you had one of your own? Have you checked out the Rhode Island SPCA yet? They have all kinds of adoptable pets from dogs to cats and everything in between. Meet Annika. Annika is a four-year-old pit bull terrier who was brought in because her owners lost their home. She spent the last few months of her time with them living in a car, and they thought it would be fair to bring her to Rhode Island SPCA. The owners say that she is very loving, gets super excited, but can be anxious. Annika loves to play, she loves car rides, and she also loves snuggles from her favorite people. To learn more about Annika, and to adopt, visit rispca.com.

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    • #67305
      blue967fm
      Participant

      Hey everyone – just for comparison’s sake, here are my old recordings of these ads. The NJ Transit ad was originally recorded in February 2016, the NextRadio ad in June 2016, and the RI SPCA ad in April 2017 (which I compressed much more heavily than the other two). I also tend to pronounce Annika differently upon first glance than I did back then (although I never did figure out the correct pronunciation for this context).

      (As you may have heard, I amplified the new recordings of these ads but didn’t process or compress them.)

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  • #67290
    Jeff Guerrette
    Participant

    Hello Edge Community looking for some feed back with the 3 commercials I did for homework.

    Thanks,
    Jeff

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    • #67332
      JasonCawley
      Participant

      Hey Jeff, overall great feel on these three. GNC felt a little over compressed, the other two sounded good recording quality wise.

      GNC – Great pacing and energy right off the bat, drags a touch in the middle, try to keep the energy throughout the whole read.

      Panasonic – Love to hear you open up a little more, maybe take a bit of a longer pause after asking the listener to listen.

      Ridgid – Good energy throughout here, maybe try and hit the last “Ridgid” a little harder, but honestly it’s solid without any changes.

      Great work! Keep it up! Nothing felt like a script read, felt very natural.

  • #67280
    Amitofu
    Participant

    Hey all.
    Trying to fine tune my believability. Let me know what you think or if you have any cool tips.

    ///

    Only Ziploc brand bags have a unique interlocking zipper to lock in freshness in a way no other bag can. When it comes out this fresh, you know it went in a Ziploc bag. Ziploc. We’ve got a lock on freshness.

    Kids hate the word ‘no’. As in ‘no’ you can’t stay up late, ‘no’ you can’t have more ice cream and ‘no’, you may not paint the cat. ‘No, no, NO!’ Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!

    My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do. LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.

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    • #67309
      Riquelmi
      Participant

      Hi Amitofou,

      I really liked the second one about the kids- your tone was fun, dynamic and i BELIEVED you. I especially liked the way you said the YES at the end.

      good job,
      Riquelmi

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