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  • #67557
    GB
    Participant

    Hey All
    Give me your opinion. Your feedback will help me grow!

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    • #67621
      mvacc
      Participant

      Nice read & great tone! My advice would be to smooth out the beginning a bit with less pauses. For me, it helps to think about the music that you’re talking about when reading.

      • #67754
        GB
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it and I’ll work on it!

  • #67549
    MarkosKandilis
    Participant

    Howdy! I’m currently developing my commercial chops with the aim of recording my demo in June. Feel free to have a listen to these samples and let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Commercial 1: Chevrolet
    Some things, are better left to the experts.
    Chevrolet…Change, that’s smart!

    Commercial 2: US Army Reserve
    Train near home…be ready when needed. This is not your everyday job. Call 1800-USA-ARMY or visit goarmyreserve.com.

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  • #67529
    Don Sack
    Participant

    Greetings All!
    Two submissions: Wall Street Journal
    Part of my “homework” is to slow myself down and learn to “make my mouth do what I want it to do”!
    Please comment on Tempo, Volume, Pitch, Tone and Diction?
    WSJ EDIT is my natural voice, Wall Street Journal#3 I embellished to sound more “authoritative”(?)
    Thanks!
    Don (ps: I am my own worst critic!!)

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    • #67567
      Shmuel
      Participant

      First recording, the sound was not good. But I’m sure you know that. Still, I could tell you’ve got a good voice.
      Second recording, the sound is good. It sounded a bit too much like you were reading the words, and not talking to someone. I agree with Mark that you should concentrate on talking to someone. And put a tad of irony in “full serving” as if you are eating the WSJ.

    • #67555
      MarkosKandilis
      Participant

      Love the tone of your voice, Don! One thing that can possibly help your read is to establish who you’re specifically speaking to and in what context. That can then inform you and naturally bring out a more authoritative quality from within your performance (as if you’re speaking to a son, niece, etc.), rather than trying to do a similar take but with an “authoritative filter” added to it. Hope this helps!

    • #67552
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      The first performance sounds distorted. But you did a good job with delivering the narration in both takes. Maybe slow down as you perform “I’m sure to get a full serving” a little bit, so it doesn’t sound so rushed.

  • #67508
    Tlark
    Participant

    Here’s a question for you: what do you do with a wordy script that limits you to a certain time? How do you sound natural and un-rushed, while rushing to keep it at the specified time limit? I’d love to know what you think of this sample. Thanks!

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    • #67568
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Ohmygawd, you nailed it. I don’t know how you did it, but you did it.
      I got it all the first time around.
      Maybe tweak the diction around the word “insomnia”, but it’s very subtle.
      Better yet, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.
      And it ain’t broken.
      I like the slight chuckle when you said 4AM. It was *very* subtle, but enough that I got it, and it was in the right place.
      You’re hired!

      • #67593
        Tlark
        Participant

        Wow – thanks so much! I agree about “Insomnia” it was a little slurred, wasn’t it?

        • #67634
          Shmuel
          Participant

          Yes, but ever so slightly.
          I’m going to follow you, hope you go on to big things !

    • #67553
      MarkosKandilis
      Participant

      One possible tip for not rushing through the copy is to think of flowing from word to word rather than running. Your mouth may still need to move at the same speed regardless to stay within the 15 seconds, but your intention and more lax/comfortable attitude can affect your delivery and expand each word. Hope that helps since it’s helped me slow down my reads!

    • #67510
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Wow, you have a good voice. But please take a note that you were saying so much that I had to re-listen a couple times to know what you were saying.

      Have you looked at the Words-to-time calculator? There’s an exercise I learned where you try to maintain and get all the words out within a certain amount of time, involving muscle memory and a pen between your teeth. It helps train your mouth to stay open while getting words out. But don’t have the pen in your mouth while recording, it’s just a muscle memory exercise.

      I also learned that as far as vocal speed, try and elongate some of the words to maintain the pace, try sounding fast in the beginning. Then slow down enough to make your point; putting insomnia to rest, and gradually speed up again if you have to; like when a video game announcer says, “Buy it now while supplies last”.

      hope this was a helpful comment.

      • #67513
        Tlark
        Participant

        Thanks for the tips! Will practice some more and try again. I feel like I’m chattering away at warp speed to get all that in at 15 seconds!

  • #67506
    Tlark
    Participant

    Here’s a question for you: what do you do with a wordy script that limits you to a certain time? How do you sound natural and un-rushed, while rushing to keep it at the specified time limit? I’d love to know what you think of this sample. Thanks!

  • #67502
    Erik B
    Participant

    Hi everybody. I’m posting my homework assignment for my next Narration class. Please feel free to provide feedback on performance and recording quality.

    Thank you,
    Erik

    Ernest Hemingway

    For over twenty years, Ernest Hemingway spent virtually every fall and winter at Sun Valley, Idaho. Although his legendary haunts were Italy, France, Switzerland, Spain and Cuba, Idaho was his true home. The wild mountain crags, the sunny meadows were his nirvana. The hunting and fishing were always good there. The canoe trip down the Silver Creek or a trek up a pass of the Pahsimeroi (Paw-sim-er-roy) Range unfailingly yielded fresh game for the table. Papa and his fiction thrived on the alternating sessions of high adventure and novel writing.

    Type to Learn Jr

    Welcome to Type to Learn Jr! Click on Shelby and me to go to the Learning Center. To practice your keyboarding skills, click on Cassie, Hopkins, or Tiny. To return to the Login Screen, click Login. When you are ready to leave the program, click Quit. You can return to this screen at any time to change activities. Have Fun!

    Earth

    This is he story of a small planet in space called Earth. Today it has mighty oceans; scorched deserts; and frozen wilderness. It supports a multitude of diverse creatures, and is home to more than 6 billion people and their technological civilization. But how did all this come about? Where do we come from? Unti recently, Earth and its lifeforms were a mystery. Like a huge upainted canvas, little was known about the origin of Earth and its inhabitants. But today, we have a rough idea o f what happened. It began – with a bang!

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    • #67569
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Good voice, good audio quality.
      The three of them sound alike, and it sounds “acted” a bit. Almost like it’s for kids.
      So, I liked the Type to Learn Jr reading. The way you read fit the material. I disagre with SuperLuke here, and I do not think you need to sound younger. Obviously, this is subjective, and it’s a matter of taste.
      I do not think the way you read fits the Hemmingway or the Earth texts. I think you need to pull back, and be a bit more conversatonal.
      Wish you succes !

    • #67511
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Good narration for Hemingway, Erik. It feels like a you are narrating a biography. Or a documentary.

      But for Time to Learn Jr, you sound exactly the same. Try and raise your pitch to sound younger, sound different than your first narration voice of Hemingway and sound more youthful, or youth friendly, considering your audience is probably young kids. You may decide to put more or less emphasis on different words. But that’s just an opinion I have after growing up with programs like Jump Start Spanish etc.

      With the script of Earth: Is your audience a History Channel, Discovery Channel, documentary-type? Or is it part of the same eLearning environment? It sounds good. And I think, if you’re making a demo, still consider adding a variety of vocal inflections to make yourself sound different for each narration you decide to do.

  • #67497
    billmull
    Participant

    Hello, this is a corporate training script so I was trying to avoid reading too fast. Some may interpret this as choppy. I welcome any feedback although I am primarily interested in feedback related to performance. The last sentence is a bit long and so was a bit of a mouthful to get out on one breath. Unfortunately, there is no natural place in the sentence to pause so I didn’t think it was an option for me to pause and breath anywhere. Thanks for any feedback.

    Here’s the script:
    In addition to mid-year and end-of-year evaluations, it’s your responsibility to be transparent with your associates about their performance throughout the year. You should have regular check-ins with your associates to talk about their performance. Use this time to set objectives, agree on development opportunities, and provide feedback, coaching, and performance or development reviews.

    Later in this course we will walk through scenarios to assist you in evaluating and communicating performance reviews more consistently.

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    • #67512
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      It was a good performance, Bill. Very nice. You don’t sound Choppy at all.

      I could hear you pause a little bit, running out of breath at times. Good tone and tempo. Good enunciation. Have you tried the words to time calculator? I think the trick is to breathe through the nose. That, and there’s a trick I learned here about how much you can say in a given time, with a pencil, or pen, in your mouth. And see how many words can you get out in rehearsal before you have it at the right speed and length you need. Don’t perform the take with the pen in your mouth though. It is meant to help build your muscle memory and keep things going without pausing at the wrong time.

    • #67500
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Bill, I like this read. The tone and tempo are very good. You enunciate clearly, and the recording quality is solid. The only minor suggestion I have is to maybe differentiate just a little more between, “set objectives, agree on development opportunities, and provide feedback, coaching, and performance or development reviews.” But overall very good job.

  • #67493
    Andrea
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    Here’s another read as part of my homework assignment. Any feedback on performance is much appreciated (tone of voice, neutral English, intonation, valuing, etc.). Anything you can think of 🙂

    Thanks for your help!

    It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root.And grew.Grew kids who are confident and strong.Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born.They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE

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    • #67501
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Andrea. The pacing and tone of the read are good. I liked the way you read the last three sentences. The only critique I have is, at times you sound tense during the read. Maybe try to envision talking to a friend, and telling them about 4H. Overall good job.

  • #67343
    Tiffany Desrosiers
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’m back with some more practice reads. As always, I appreciate your feedback!

    *Note- I wasn’t able to use my regular mic tonight so they may not sound as CRISP!*

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    • #67637
      Shmuel
      Participant

      I can tell you are not using the normal mic. There’s also some mouth noise, and some background white noise.
      First read: good
      Second read: It’s a poem, so I would like to hear just a little sing-song. Not too much. Think Dr. Seuss.
      Freshy: Sounds like you are just reading the text. You need to use your own acting with it. Make it yours.

    • #67517
      Andrea
      Participant

      Hi Tiffany,

      The second one sounds really good. I liked the pacing and the pitch shifts. The third one could use a bit more energy, I believe. And a smile.
      Good job.

      Andrea

  • #67335
    JasonCawley
    Participant

    Any feedback is appreciated, thanks.

    So what is the fate of the universe? how does it all end? Cosmologists have thought about this for a long time. Many have come to the conclusion that the end will come in more of a whimper then a bang. it is known as the “heat death”. and it begins with a decrease in the rate of star formation. looking up in the southern sky allows us to see a hint of this process.

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    • #67337
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Jason, great voice. I liked this recording. Your pacing sounds good, and you differntiate well from sentence to sentence. Also the recording quality sounds solid. Good job.

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