Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #67247
    carynbell
    Participant

    Hey everybody!

    Trying to work on improving diction and adding variety. Feedback is appreciated as always!

    Thanks!

    9 PLANETS

    About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born. In those first moments, intensely hot hydrogen and helium raced outward – thinning, cooling, and clumping into vast, organized structures.
    Within a few billion years, countless galaxies had emerged. Each one containing hundreds of billions of stars – constantly changing in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. In one of these galaxies, about 5 billions years ago, one average-sized star, our sun, captured in its gravitational field the gas and dust that would become 9 planets.

    OFFICIAL ALASKA PLANNING VIDEO

    This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.

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    • #67278
      Amitofu
      Participant

      Hey carynbell,
      I agree with andrea that the Alaska one needs a bit more energy; like you’re actually there breathing in the mountain/snowy air. What ‘may’ help with articulation (more in the astronomy one) is adjusting your distance to the mic as well as your speaking volume. Felt maybe like you were a little quiet and adjust your tech around that instead of the other way around. If you want a more elaborate tech dissection, let me know, but if you’re just using a non-pro studio for practice, I won’t overload you, haha.

    • #67267
      Andrea
      Participant

      Hi,
      Love your demo! Great character voices. How long did it take you to get here?
      Hope you can book lots of work 🙂
      Andrea

      • #67268
        Andrea
        Participant

        Hi,
        Sorry, for some reason, the message intended for SuperLuke keeps getting posted here.

        Here’s the feedback I meant to give you:
        You sound knowledgeable; I like that.
        9 PLANETS: It seemed to me that some of the Ss and Rs were maybe to soft. Words like hydrogen, organized, average-sized, gas could be articulated more clearly.
        ALASKA: Maybe you could put a bit more energy into the read to make it sound more inviting? Also, you could find the elements in the lists at different pitches to add variety.
        Keep up the good work!

  • #67229
    VO_by_SJ
    Participant

    Hello all!

    I am in the process of preparing for my narration demo record. Just uploading a couple of samples (not exact pieces from my demo) here for feedback/practice. Looking for more creative and technical critiques, rather than audio quality related ones.
    Thanks!
    Sara Jester

    Script 1: Creativity

    Creativity is not the same as hard work or effort, it requires genuine inspiration. It’s the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question, a situation or a possibility. Therefore creativity does not come in exchange for money or rewards, but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.

    Script 2: Starbucks About

    Every day, we go to work hoping to do two things: share great coffee with our friends and help make the world a little better. It was true when the first Starbucks opened in 1971, and it’s just as true today.

    Back then, the company was a single store in Seattle’s historic Pike Place Market. From just a narrow storefront, Starbucks offered some of the world’s finest fresh-roasted whole bean coffees. The name, inspired by Moby D**k, evoked the romance of the high seas and the seafaring tradition of the early coffee traders.

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    • #67233
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Sara, I enjoyed both reads, I’ll share with you my notes for each read after listening a couple of times.

      Creativity – great tone, good pacing, emphasized key words well.

      Starbucks – great tone, good pacing, emphasized key words nicely, liked in particular, “”world’s finest fresh-roasted whole bean coffees.”

      Great job, you’re going to do well with your demo. Thumbs up.

      • #67244
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Hi Sarah, I enjoyed the performance. There weren’t any tech problems and the performances were both really well done. I guess it depends on the kind of Voice Over Demo you are aiming for. If you’re aim is to be a commercial V.O talent, I think you are in the right spot with your performances. I was taught in an Audition class that sometimes the first words you say will be what the casting director look for. I was also taught that the goal of voice actors is to emphasize the key words that the director wants to hear.

        I think you will do just fine when it comes to doing your demo. Remember that we’re all here for you and that your coach is your best friend as well as your teacher!

        Hope this was a helpful comment and critique

  • #67224
    Michelle
    Participant

    Hello all! Thanks in advance for the feedback!

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    • #67258
      carynbell
      Participant

      Nice read. Only critique is that you may consider shortening the pauses a bit and maybe play with varying speed and pitch. Good work!

    • #67228
      blue967fm
      Participant

      Hey Michelle! I really enjoyed your read. Nice use of pauses and great audio quality. You also have a nice voice for these types of ads.

      The only thing I’d say is that the first sentence could have a little more inflection – perhaps in the same way that you read the second sentence (which I like as far as your character here – emphasizing that a high fever is no fun at all). Other than that, great work! Keep it up!

      Stuart

      • #67245
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Hi Michelle, the first sentence is audible. But it’s not audible enough. When you say, “You know what it’s like to wait it out, you have greater energy. Why not use that similar energy in the first sentence? It could be better: “she has a high fever” sound more like you’re sad and then being given the Advil you sound really happy and relieved, like a “product guaranteed to work” (you nailed the last line perfectly)

        hope this critique helps

  • #67220
    Toque
    Participant

    Hi all. I posted a question over on the home studio forum under the “hardware and software recommendations” section. But I see now that it doesn’t look like anyone’s been in that section for months. If you have a chance to take a peek and have any thoughts, please let me know. Thanks. Toque.

    • #67285
      Amitofu
      Participant

      I replied to your post what I could, but I’m relatively underqualified, so take as you will.

      -Alex M.

  • #67214
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    GREY GOOSE V***A
    THIS IS WHERE MUSICIANS GO TO HEAR EACH OTHER PLAY. THE ROOM IS
    ALIVE. THE CROWD IS FULL OF FAMILIAR, KNOWING FACES WHOSE
    EXPRESSIONS ARE AS MUCH A PART OF THE PERFORMANCE AS THE
    MUSIC ITSELF. FROM THIS ROOM, YOU’RE TRANSPORTED TO PLACES ALL OVER
    THE WORLD….AND FEELINGS FROM ALL OVER YOUR LIFE. THAT’S WHY YOU
    COME HERE…..BE TAKEN THERE. GREY GOOSE. WORLD’S BEST TASTING V***A.

    HARDWARE PLUS
    I JUST FOUND THE MOST AMAZING STORE IN STRATFORD. HARDWARE PLUS. NO ORDINARY HARDWARE STORE. HARDWARE PLUS IS AN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS FACTORY OUTLET. NOT ONLY ARE THE PRICES AND SELECTION INCREDIBLE, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE REALLY KNOW HARDWARE. I NEVER GET THAT KIND OF KNOW-HOW AND SERVICE AT THOSE WAREHOUSE-TYPE HOME CENTERS OR SO-CALLED “CLUBS”. EASY TO GET TO – RIGHT OFF EXIT 59 OF THE CONNECTICUT TURNPIKE. HARDWARE PLUS — YOU’LL SEE THE DIFFERENCE.

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    • #67310
      Riquelmi
      Participant

      bil-bo
      i too liked both of the commercials! you have a great voice. I am wondering if for the hardware one.. you can slow it down a bit. Overall, great work.

      riquelmi

    • #67246
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Good job with the commercial performances. Nice recording quality, including the music, and the southern accent. You hit and nailed all, or most of the key words too. I felt like I was in a commercial.

  • #67209
    Tim-A-Doherty-VO
    Participant

    Hello! These are some scripts I wrote up and recorded as part of my homework. If you’d like to give some feedback on either the writing or recordings themselves as I’m new to both I’d be much appreciated!

    Battle House Laser Combat
    Hmm, something absolutely thrilling! Something adrenaline pumping! Wait, Battle House Laser Combat has a massive, multi-story, 15,000 square foot laser arena. Let’s go there!

    Uncle Jacob’s Stout
    Go ahead, grab one of my Uncle Jacob’s Stouts. You will love it! Its got this incredibly robust, silky smooth, full-bodied Imperial Stout taste.

    Aura App
    I find my inner peace with Aura. Its an Apple award-winning app for emotional health & sleep. Let Aura be your one-stop solution for emotional health.

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    • #67250
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      Good recording quality. Good performances. What was the homework, write a commercial? Create characters?

      1) Laser cannon arena was cool to hear. Although, I thought your character was in the same mood throughout the performance. I can see this as a commercial. But one thing I learned was that the more high notes you have in your commercial/ character performances, the more low notes you may need. Try performing it faster and maintaining high and low notes: like something you might see on a commercial advertisement: example “Rated E for Everyone”, “Join your favorite characters on this epic adventure…”

      2) The Stout was an engaging read and you sound like you’re being conversational and inviting to buy the product. Very nice!

      3) Aura App was nice, you sound like you’re advertising the best solution for relaxation and going to sleep/ having inner peace. Good job!

      Hope this comment and critique was helpful!

      • #67254
        Tim-A-Doherty-VO
        Participant

        Thank you! Yeah the homework was to come up with my own commercial scripts and record as though it were real work. Definitely understand your first point. I’ll keep that in mind for the future. Your comment was very helpful, thank you for taking the time to critique them!!

  • #67206
    blue967fm
    Participant

    Hi everyone! This is my first time posting in the feedback forum. I’m a complete amateur when it comes to VO, but I do have fascinations with speech, accents, dialects, and the like. I do have a great friend who sometimes acts as my voice coach, and he has given me helpful tips for VO on an occasional basis over the past few years.

    I’m far more experienced with radio imaging and promos than commercials/spots, so for starters, I went into the script library and found a radio promo and a TV news promo (I’ve never done anything like the latter before). I would love any and all feedback that you may have!

    I should also let you guys know that I do have an unusual way of saying the CH, SH, J, and soft G sounds in my natural speech. I’ve had them all my life, and I’m still trying to work on that over time.

    Thank you so much!

    Stuart

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    • #67222
      Brad
      Participant

      Hey Stuart, Great reads. Very casual and upbeat. I really like listening to you lean into your natural voice without attempting to ‘hide’ it. The flow you have is to be admired.

      For the Smooth Jazz read it may be fun to try a little (hard to say this without being a little cheeky) more ‘smooth jazz’ flavor – again just for fun. Just to see what that point of view does to the read

      For eyewitness news I’ be curious to hear what more of the bass notes of your voice sound like (again just for fun)

      Nice work.

      • #67251
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Great job with the Commercial and Radio V.O performances! Very upbeat, interesting to listen to, you got me thinking of some tv shows I used to watch when I still had cable; Join us next week for another episode of…Stay tuned and see the winners of this contest..”. Stuart, you would be great as a DJ Radio personality!

        • #67256
          blue967fm
          Participant

          Thank you so much, SuperLuke! I really appreciate your kind words!

          I actually used to host a podcast that I created a while back, and I kind of had that type of voice in mind. I now own a tiny radio station in my apartment (where my username comes from) which I do a morning show on, and that has given me amazing practice. My friend who is sometimes my voice coach is in fact the imaging voice of my station, and I am now gaining production practice experience by making imaging pieces for the station. (If you search Blue 96.7 on SoundCloud, you can feel free to hear what I’ve done with my station!)

          Thank you so much again for your feedback!

          Stuart

      • #67234
        blue967fm
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your kind words, Brad! I decided to give both of your notes a go, just for the fun of it. Thank you again!

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  • #67198
    Brad
    Participant

    Hey All,
    Putting up some more commercial homework.
    Definitely attempting to avoid pitching down at the end of sentences. Also thought I’d try some short copy for fun.
    1. Foxwoods
    2. Georgia Aquarium
    3. Steak-Umm
    Always happy to get more feedback. Thanks!!!

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    • #67226
      Michelle
      Participant

      Hi Brad! Awesome job! I can hear your personality in a big way!

    • #67203
      blue967fm
      Participant

      Great reads, Brad! My favorite was the Georgia Aquarium read. I love the sense of humor you gave in that one. I also love the recording quality of your setup and microphone.

      In your Foxwoods spot, I’d probably not over-accentuate the word “rooms” as much since it’s not as important as some of the other words in your script. I do love the overall delivery of that ad, though!

      For Steak-Ummm, I love the contrast that you have in the three “Steak-Ummm” examples. I did notice a few mouth sounds in your pauses, though. I also probably wouldn’t have paused as long as you did between “and win” and “on Facebook,” but overall, nice reads! Keep it up!

      Stuart

  • #67174
    MarkosKandilis
    Participant

    Howdy! I’m currently developing my commercial chops with the aim of recording my demo in June. Feel free to have a listen to these samples and let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Commercial 1: ADIDAS ANTI-PERSPIRANTS AND DEODORANTS
    Total control. Total performance. Introducing Adidas Anti-Perspirants and Deodorants.
    Adidas…when life is rough.

    Commercial 2: SPOTIFY
    Sometimes you don’t quite know what you want.
    Hip hop or k-pop?
    Modern country or classic R&B?
    EDM or EMO?
    Sometimes, you just gotta skip through until you find just what you’re looking for.
    Right now, you’re limited to 6 skips an hour.
    But with premium, you can have as many skips as you want. Want to try it out free for 30
    days? Tap the banner to learn more.

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    • #67223
      Brad
      Participant

      Nice work Markos! Seems like you are pretty confident in your voice and where you fit. Well done.
      Adidas, very minor thought to tap the word ‘and’ as it seems to get slightly swallowed in-between antiperspirants ‘and’ deodorants making to set up that there are two separate items being sold.

      for Spotify again minor – I might try to make the things you are comparing a just a little more different, example Hip hop or K-Pop sound a little the same.
      also I might try to take the whole thing and make it a little more personal. Who are you talking to? Doesn’t it s**k when you can’t skip more than 6 times. If you haven’t heard of this, I’ve got a solution…

    • #67204
      blue967fm
      Participant

      I enjoyed your reads, Markus! You have a nice voice and great overall pace in both scripts. I did feel that you kind of lost your energy on the word “deodorant” in the Adidas commercial, though. Your Spotify Premium ad is spot-on! The only thing I have in this ad is that the last two sentences seemed a bit rushed, especially compared to your earlier pace. You also lost your energy in the last few words. Other than that, keep up the great work!

  • #67170
    nadiaverde
    Participant

    Practicing for narration demo–any feedback appreciated. Thank you!

    A Guide to Healing Crystals
    People’s fascination with semi-precious stones is nothing new. From China to Babylon and Egypt, ancient civilizations dating back thousands of years have used them in rituals, healing, and meditation, believing that certain crystals have protective abilities and energetic qualities.
    Scientifically speaking, crystals are made up of atoms of certain elements arranged in a regular grid pattern. Because of their molecular composition, crystals have a specific vibrational frequency that can coincide with that of the human body.

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    • #67232
      VO_by_SJ
      Participant

      Really nice, smooth, steady, articulate technical quality to this read! Great finishing on the ends of your sentences. The pace was right on for this type of material/spot.

      Creatively I would say you could infuse a bit more intrigue in the first section, as the script says- use of the words fascination, energetic qualities, rituals, believe- lend itself to that. But once you got into the scientific jargon, that same approach to the read really worked.

      I could listen to you for a long time. Great job!

      • #67260
        nadiaverde
        Participant

        Thanks so much for your feedback!!

    • #67179
      MarkosKandilis
      Participant

      What a warm voice you have! Great for inviting people to listen and learn about crystals and the like. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:

      • In the first sentence, spend less time on “is” to reduce emphasizing it; what word deserves more time in that sentence instead?
      • In the second sentence, perhaps you can add some varied weighting to the names of the ancient civilization to reinforce the wonder of how such distanced peoples all came to the same conclusion to use crystals in some way
      • In the second sentence, “believing” sounds like it’s the start of a new thought; any way to realign it with the rest of the previously listed items?

      Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!

      • #67261
        nadiaverde
        Participant

        Thank you! Appreciate the feedback!

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