Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #67082
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Hey everyone, I just recorded three new reads. Some comments on a few of my uploads declared I sounded more like I was reading than speaking. In addition to adding my pop-filter, I’ve tried a new tactic and I’d appreciate anyone’s thoughts on my performance. Do I sound conversational? Any other feedback on my tone, pitch, volume and tempo would be great. Thank you.

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  • #67074
    sarahlukens1
    Participant

    Hey all,

    Just a newbie working on her homework.
    I’m working on my conversational read.
    Performance Feedback only.

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  • #67063
    Brad
    Participant

    Hey All, newbie here, Looking to get some feedback on my homework. 🙂 Will take any comments!

    Overall looking to hear:
    1. When it seems like I’m pushing too much
    2. Is my tone (specifically for Stanley and Ryobi) appearing conversational
    3. I’ve been working on trying to lift my ends of sentences rather than my natural default of going down.

    All comments welcome

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    • #67077
      aylinsings
      Participant

      Hi Brad! Great work on these!

      Stanley Steamer: I do think that it is on the conversational side. That being said, I think you need to make sure the client name pops. It all seemed to morph together. I tend to pitch down too so what helps me is literally writing on the page where I want to go up or down. Also, the ‘call today and save” sounded like a question. But awesome first take!!

      Home Depot: This is pretty conversational! I think just make sure to connect with the material and also really focus on the one person you are speaking to.

      Junk: Great! No notes

      Hope that helps!!

      Aylin

  • #67058
    Sean
    Participant

    It’s been awhile since my first submission. And thanks to some recent coaching and continued learning through this wonderful platform, I get more and more encouraged. I’d appreciate some feedback on my latest efforts. Here are 6 quick short commercial ads from scripts that I’ve been practicing with recently. Thanks in advance.

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    • #67078
      aylinsings
      Participant

      Hi Sean!

      You have such a lovely tone! And you are on it with the timing of your reads. I think, especially with the Arby’s script, I was missing you actually seeing that delicious roast beef sandwich in your minds eye. But that’s the only note I have.

      Great work!

      Aylin

      • #67098
        Sean
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Aylin.

    • #67067
      Brad
      Participant

      Hey Sean. Great work! Loving the energy and choices.
      some minor feedback, it seems like you have a splashy tongue specifically with your s and z sound. I notice it mostly with the Arby’s and almond breeze ads. I have trouble with this myself as my tongue gets a little lazy sometimes with s combinations especially when being ‘conversational’

      This definitely disappears or lessens when you have more energy (i know an oxymoron) when being conversational.

      Great work!

      • #67099
        Sean
        Participant

        Thanks Brad. A little less coffee and more plain ol water to help ease that problem.
        Problem is… I love coffee!

  • #67042
    Chad4674
    Participant

    Hello Everyone!

    Wanted to add two more commercial scripts. Please take a moment to review each. I welcome all feedback. Thx!

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    • #67068
      Brad
      Participant

      Great work Chad and I agree with Shmuel. As you keep working try to bring a little more of your personality into the reads. That ‘you’ energy will go along way.

    • #67045
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Hi Chad,
      You’ve got a rich voice with great potential.
      For both reads, you need more emotion in it. Don’t go overboard, though.
      Thermacare: No echo, but heard some plosives (P sound). I felt there was a bit too much base. The speech started too early, and cut off a bit early. Give it another moment or second. It felt like I missed something. You need to sound like blocking the pain with ordinary patches is for cavemen, but with Thermacare, you are SAVED !!! something like that.
      Jif: What happened to the sound here? Mucho echo here. Add some more acting as well. Shucks, my kids (are kind of crazy, they play around mess up the house, but I love ’em, and what to make sure they’re getting the best. And the best thing to give them is peanut butter.) all they care about is peanut butter …… ( well, if they do, I’ll give them the best).
      Keep at it, and wish you success !

      • #67046
        Chad4674
        Participant

        thank you very much Shmuel! Yes, the jif commercial I was doing some experimenting with my sound space. Thanks for the feedback!

  • #67040
    Lilbelle1487
    Participant

    Homework after session 2: I’m working on being more conversational, not choppy. Connecting with the material and not bringing certain words downward. Here is a Disney World Resorts Read

    “Stay in the Magic at a Disney Resort Hotel. So close to the parks you can make all your Disney wishes come true. And now you can save up to 30% on Select Disney Resort hotels. Imagine the magic of Staying here.”

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    • #67079
      aylinsings
      Participant

      Hello!

      I love this Disney script. it suits your voice! That being said, idk if you’ve been to Disney but it so soooo magical and and full of wonder and creativity. I think it is missing that bit of amazement! They really put so much attention to detail at the parks and it’s incredible. Really just imagine yourself there!

      Great first take though! Keep it up.

      Aylin

      • #67080
        Lilbelle1487
        Participant

        Thanks so much for the notes. I actually have been several times so I just need to bring that to the read. I appreciate your feedback so much!

    • #67069
      Brad
      Participant

      Way to try to tackle a tough challenge Lilbelle. Great work.
      I might suggest in attempting to be less choppy, to try to say the whole thing through a couple of times ignoring the punctuation and making the whole thing one word. breathe when you need to but just as an exercise to read it through a few times plowing through the whole thing. then add in that you are telling one of your friends about it. I might even suggest trying the copy on a real life relative or friend not selling them anything but actually just telling them the info to get the conversational feel in your bones. Think about if you really wanted to go to disney and (if you don’t know) it’s really expensive to go there so getting 30% off is a HUGE deal.

      moving forward look at the words that repeat. Stay Magic, Disney and remember the disney co is all about imagining and wonder

      • #67081
        Lilbelle1487
        Participant

        Great notes for me!! Thank you so much. I’ll work on this and update soon.

  • #67031
    DicksonVO
    Participant

    Hello forum,

    I’m back again and decided to really stretch and challenge myself with 2 of these 3 scripts…you’ll be able to tell :). Gotta test the limits, you know. Looking forward to hearing some comments. Need to rest the voice a bit. Thanks!

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    • #67047
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Hi Dickson,
      Good voice, good sound. First read: good, but I would vary it a bit more with a tad more acting. Not too much, you are very close. The text is ” a car that can actually see like a human, using stereotcopic cameras, and even stop itself if it has to. The technology ….. ” the stop itself line seems to be out of place. We are talking about the car seeing, and then one thing the car can do alluvasudden. It needs to be moved, or a couple of words to introduce it, like “…. cameras, this car can even stop itself if it has to …. ”
      Second read: Cool, you sound like a different person. This is fun, I’m a gunna buy me a lottery ticket next time I’m in Omaha !
      Third read: Yet a third person. Nice. Minor quibble: “In this world” sounds like “in this whorle”. And I would vary the read a bit. Just a bit, because it’s at the same spooky level the whole way.

      • #67072
        DicksonVO
        Participant

        Great points, Shumel! Excellent points the more I read them, actually. That is how the script should read. That helps me A LOT!
        Thanks for the comments on the 2nd read. Third Read…I hear it now….whorle. I found this one more difficult to try to vary for some reason. I got close I felt….I’ll have to experiment with it some more.

        Appreciate your ears!

    • #67037
      Lilbelle1487
      Participant

      Dickson, I absolutely loved #2 and #3. I got bored with #1 and lost about a third through. I hope that was intentional because boy are you other two a far stretch better than the first. Your old miner’s voice is so quarky and fun and I would picture this little man with overalls and a few missing teeth trying to sell this lottery ticket. so much fun. The last one is like a commercial for unsolved mysteries, I was drawn in and wanting more. You are truly good at what your doing.

      • #67070
        DicksonVO
        Participant

        Thanks for the immediate feedback. It was intentional to do 3 completely different scripts. Script 1…your normal Mercedes Car commercial. Nothing special there :). The other 2 were a stretch. I think I was too deliberate with the Mercedes commercial. I was trying to keep in mind that the Mercedes read was probably more for a TV commercial and not radio, so I backed off and read it knowing the images of the commercial are the star of the commercial and my voice supports the images. If I had thought of it as a radio ad I probably would have been a little more animated to try to paint an imaginary picture. Still I think I was too pulled back from the read. Thanks!

  • #67015
    Amitofu
    Participant

    Hey all,

    I was looking for some feedback for this homework I did. Specifically the ‘Freshii’ ad, I wasn’t purposefully putting my voice in a higher register, it just kinda came out that way every time I would read it. Please let me know if you think it sounds natural or if it sounds too ‘put on’.

    [[At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!]]

    [[Can your food market pass a simple taste test? At Balducci’s, we put taste first. This spring, we’re loading up our stores with fresh and chef-crafted foods that are simply bursting with flavor. Like majestic orange wild king salmon, flown in daily. And specialties like champagne ham, slow-smoked over hickory chips and glazed with pineapple juice and brown sugar. Now there’s a store that puts taste first. Balducci’s. The food lover’s market. ]]

    [[Now there’s a solution to the soap-opera of shaving. Introducing Intuition. The only all-in-one razor that lathers and shaves in one easy step. You’ll never need shave gel, soap, or body wash again, because Intuition’s triple blades are surrounded by a unique Skin Conditioning Solid. With just water, it smooths and soothes to give you soft, smooth, touchable skin with every shave. Shaving’s never been so simple.]]

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    • #67052
      JTLeyba
      Participant

      Good job on your practice! After listening to all three, I did feel that the fresshi read was a little much (put on), I suggests reading it with the same excitement but use the voice for the balducci’s as I personally feel that was your best one. The last one felt like you were trying to go too deep with you voice, try reading it again with the balducci’s voice. Other than that great job!

  • #67012
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Pedigree
    As one of the world’s leading publishers of books and articles on dog nutrition, the makers of Pedigree can offer a lifetime of reading on the topic. But for your dog we recommend the condensed version. Healthy nuggets – with anti-oxidants and vitamins to help strengthen your dog’s immune system. Crunchy outside, soft inside – Just the way dogs like it. Healthy nuggets, found only in Pedigree.

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    • #67051
      JTLeyba
      Participant

      Amazing read! I would totally buy this product off of your Ad. What is your equipment set up? And did you edit the music yourself? If so what platform did you use?

      • #67053
        Bil-Bo
        Participant

        Hi JT
        I’ve been collecting “production music” for a long time. My DAW is Adobe Audition CS6 (last standalone version before Adobe got greedy and went to monthly subscription). Just got a Shure MV7 mike. Mike goes through “ancient” Mackie mixer. Old dog, no new tricks. No pun intended. Thanks for listening and commenting.
        BillH

    • #67048
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Nailed it as usual.
      Just out of curiosity, what’s your studio set up, and what equipment and DAW are you using?

      • #67054
        Bil-Bo
        Participant

        Hello Shmuel
        My DAW is Adobe Audition CS6 (last standalone version before Adobe got greedy and went to monthly subscription). Started with “Cool Edit Pro” which became Adobe Audition 1.0. Have used an EV RE-20 mike for a long time. Just got a Shure MV7 mike. Mike goes through “ancient” Mackie mixer. Thanks for listening and commenting.
        BillH

    • #67038
      Lilbelle1487
      Participant

      Bil-Bo, this is a heart warming and great read for Pedigree. I wanted to grab my furbaby up and hold her while listening to this. Only note that I’d have is that you sound a little worn and tired. Overall, I’d definitely buy this brand based off this commercial.

      • #67055
        Bil-Bo
        Participant

        Hi Lilbelle
        Thanks for listening & commenting.
        BillH

  • #67010
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Pedigree
    As one of the world’s leading publishers of books and articles on dog nutrition, the makers of Pedigree can offer a lifetime of reading on the topic. But for your dog we recommend the condensed version. Healthy nuggets – with anti-oxidants and vitamins to help strengthen your dog’s immune system. Crunchy outside, soft inside – Just the way dogs like it. Healthy nuggets, found only in Pedigree.

    Welch’s
    Our farmers know, the best juice stays true to the fruit.
    New Farmer’s Pick by Welch’s. One hundred per cent juice, with more of the fruit! Like our own concord grapes, ripe mangoes and the plumpest black berries. With nothing artificial for fresh picked taste. New Farmer’s Pick by Welch’s. Family Farmer Owned.

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