Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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APPLE COMPUTER 60 SEC TV VOICE SPOT
HERE’S TO THE CRAZY ONES. THE MISFITS. THE REBELS. THE TROUBLEMAKERS.
THE ROUND PEGS IN THE SQUARE HOLES. THE ONES WHO SEE THINGS
DIFFERENTLY. THEY’RE NOT FOND OF RULES. AND THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR
THE STATUS QUO. YOU CAN QUOTE THEM, DISAGREE WITH THEM, GLORIFY OR
VILIFY THEM. ABOUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN’T DO IS IGNORE THEM.
BECAUSE THEY CHANGE THINGS. THEY PUSH THE HUMAN RACE FORWARD. AND
WHILE SOME MAY SEE THEM AS THE CRAZY ONES, WE SEE GENIUS. BECAUSE
THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO THINK THEY CAN CHANGE THE
WORLD, ARE THE ONES WHO DO.-
Good read, audio great, music a bit distracting, you’ve got a great down-home voice, but you know that.
I’ve heard your other work, and although this is good, you can do much better. Yes, I’m being demanding, because you are uber talented, and can do it. You are the Sandy Koufax of VO.
Add some acting to this. That is, some contrast when you say ” … the only thing you can’t do is ignore them”. And then respond to the listener saying to himself “why can’t I ignore them?” Well, I’ll tell you why: “because they change things” ….. and then at the end they are the ones who change the world. -
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Sounds very, very good. Your voice is perfectly suited for voice over. I might personally make a couple different choices (e.g., in “status quo,” I would emphasize the word “quo” rather than “status”), but that’s not to say that I find anything wrong with your choices. I do wonder if you might read just slightly faster, particularly in the last sentence. But honestly, it’s really good as-is.
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Greetings!
Posting two: A redo of The Wall Street Journal and a script for a Mercy Health spot.
Tempo, Tone, Pitch, Volume; Sound quality?-
Hi Don,
Great voice, sounds reliable.
Sound good on the WSJ, but the Mercy Health sounds echo-y. Something happened there.
On both readings, I’m missing some acting. They both sounded like you are just reading the words with a little bit of inflection here or there.
The WSJ is kind of a tongue in cheek thing. That is, you get all your “daily requirements”, which is a quote from every breakfast cereal box, but it’s put also on the WSJ. Ooooooo, it’s healthy !! Say that you *need* your copy of the WSJ. You need the WSJ to stay healthy, it’s like a good breakfast. It’s like taking vitamins. It’s just common sense to stay healthy. Well, shucks, you do that by reading the WSJ.
Mercy Health needs some empathy. You got injured, and we feel for you. This feeling needs to stay up to “…. back to the life you enjoy”. THEN, the superhero comes in to save the day. MercyHealth Man !!!! Finally you need to love in the “…. we’ll get you back to the active life you love ” .
Good luck, and I wish you success.
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Good voice, need to remove background noise from the audio. Maybe too much background noise or echo in the room. Are you using a professional mic?
When you say ” what could have turn out disastrous” with a slight trepidation in your voice. Ohmygawd, a disaster, and then contrast it with “delicious” at this point forward, I need to hear that it is indeed delicious. The whole combination. Make our mouth water just listening to it. Daaang, I want to order one of those !!!!
Wish you success ! -
Nice read! I could picture what would be happening in accompanying video. My advice would be to slow the pace down a bit during the story of the collision – the Big Mouth Burger part seems a little fast. Maybe add a smile during “delicious” and the end tag line to give the product a little extra excitement.
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Hi! This is my first time using the Feedback Forum. I was supposed to do my narration demo later next month, but need tooth surgery on a front tooth, so need to speed things up a bit – LOL! I welcome any input for improvement, especially in regards to breathes (which I’m still unsure about 🙂 ) Thank you for your time and knowledge! Take care!
Marla
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Hi Marla,
Good voice, good audio quality.
Some clicks and breathing sounds, not too much. You can work on this, but it’s not a big problem, IMO.
However, there are other issues, that are more of a problem:
In both reads, you are paying too much attention to the original punctuation in the text. Ignore the punctuation, and use your own. Even periods. Ignore them. Do what’s right for you.
Also, there is no change of pitch or tone to keep my interest.
Keep it moving, there were too many pauses.
New employee at Advanced Technologies: I need to hear your excitement about the growing business, and the fact that the job of a new employee is important. Make it sound important.
Museum: It needs to sound exciting about discovering all that cool stuff that the scientists have discovered. And that you, our dear visitor are going to learn about all that. As an aside, I would consider removing the 12,000 visitors since 1953, because that’s a long time, and not too many people.Wish you success, Marla !
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Tommy John Underwear: Good read! I like how the “here’s the rub” part sounds like you’re telling a secret. My advice is to try adding a little more emotion/excitement to the beginning when you’re announcing the arrival of the underwear – it could show a nice contrast between the arrival “announcement” and the “secret.”
Signet Jewelers: Nice tone and pacing! My one comment would be that “best friend” in “being in love with your best friend” seems a little fast. Since “best friend” comes up again at the end, a little more focus on it when it’s first mentioned could add more importance.
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