Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Chello! I’m Vicky and with any success you’ll find two practice scripts submitted for your feedback as I work toward the development of my commercial demo. These scripts were obviously not recorded in a professional (or even quasi professional)studio, but your constructive critique is welcomed. Thanks for giving me a listen!
~Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think “bread”. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our Café with savory sandwiches, daily soups, and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.~Advil
Muscle Aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL—-Advanced medicine for pain.-
Hey Vicky,
Great voice! I enjoyed both of these reads and think your voice fits them. For the Advil one, I think you could hit Muscle Aches with a little more of an inquisitive tone.
The recording quality on Atlanta Bread Company came through better for sure, not sure what you did differently recording wise, but you should try to replicate that level in your recordings. The background noise sounds like it could be a computer fan? If so, just relocating your microphone might help you.
Good stuff !!
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Great suggestion re: using a more inquisitive tone for that “muscle ache” line, thanks! Yes, you’re absolutely right about the sound quality difference between the reads. I’m pretty sure I recorded them on 2 different devices-smh. I was just happy to finally get something posted. For me it was quite the ordeal! I’ll be working to have future posts with better quality. Thanks again for your feedback!!
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Hello good people! Here is a recording for any and all feedback. Working on sounding conversational, energized and appropriate for the topic of Tae Bo, which I used to do and love! Let me know what you think. Thank you!
Mary
Tae Bo
Energizing, explosive, powerful, uplifting…That’s how superstar athletes, Hollywood celebrities and thousands of people just like you describe TAE BO, “the hottest workout in America”. Personally developed by 7-time World Martial Arts Champion Billy Blanks, TAE BO blends your own hidden strength with the ancient arts of self-defense, dance, and boxing combined with today’s greatest music. TAE BO is unlike any workout program you’ve ever tried before! Order now and you’ll receive 2 videos–an instructional video in which Billy Blanks clearly and simply teaches you the fundamental movements, and a second video in which Billy Blanks leads you through the TAE BO basics.-
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Hi Mary, What a great recording, good match for your voice! I liked your conversational and energetic tone, your pacing and sound was really good too!
And I found your comments on sound equipment, so helpful to know what you’ve been using and will check out Sweetwater too. And I will definitely sign up for the equipment class! Thank you!!! 🙂
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Here’s my homework for your review, comments/suggestions always appreciated! 🙂
NO!-Six Flags
Kids hate the word no. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!Dove Sensitive Skin Commercial
There are products made for sensitive skin. But there’s nothing quite like sensitive skin dove – It’s the mildest, perfume free sensitive skin bar ever made. No wonder, Doves the one that dermatologists recommend most to keep your skin looking healthy and feeling soft. Dove. For the beauty that’s already there.-
Hi Julie, good recordings! I liked your energy and inflections for both, and the contrast between the two. Good job and they really fit your voice!
Also, I commented on your comment to my comment on sound equipment from about a week ago, just check back about 4 pages and you should be able to find it. Let me know if you have more questions! I’m definitely just learning this myself. Thanks!
Mary
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Hi everyone! Uploading two contrasting ads. I am on a commercial demo track. Thanks in advance for your feedback.
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Hello!
Any and all feedback appreciated. Tried to keep this conversational.
—-We are the masters of our planet. And for 200,000 years our intelligence has allowed us to rule unchallenged. But those days are drawing to a close. A new intelligence is rising … Artificial Intelligence. Our greatest scientists are on the verge of creating machines capable of independent thought. With intellects that could one day surpass our own. A singular event that will dramatically change life as we know it. What would a world dominated by super intelligent machines be like for us ? Paradise ? Or a nightmare ! Will it mean immortality … or extinction ? One thing we do know. The process has already begun. The Singularity is near. And there’s no turning back.
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Hey everyone, I’m working on an audition for the contest. What do you think? Did I pull off their request for a classic narrator that is smooth, easy, relaxed? Thanks for your help
Amelia Earhart
Amelia Earhart dared to go where no one had gone before. The public adored the pioneering pilot. And news reels of the day captured her every move. Yet the private side of Amelia would always remain an enigma.-
Hey Tim,
This does feel smooth, easy and relaxed. You have a good voice for this type of read. I’m not sure if you’re looking for feedback on the recording quality/editing but it sounds like there’s a cut before the “Yet the private side”. I like to keep a separate track of room noise for this purpose. You can fade out the vocal track right after the word “move” and with the room track running in tandem, it will keep it sounding like one take.
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Some people have said that my recent uploads sound like I’m reading and not speaking. In this take, I tried only glancing at the script and speaking to someone imaginary. Do you think I pulled it off? Any other feedback on my tone, tempo and pitch will be appreciated.
Butterball
Butterball brings you the joys of turkey day. Friends and family drop in to bask in the warmth of the season. Celebrate this summer with Butterball turkey on the grill. Tender, juicy, surprisingly simple. HAPPY THANKSGRILLING from Butterball. -
Hey everyone, I’ve done some more recording. This was the first script I ever uploaded and I wanted to do it again with my new setup. I appreciate any feedback on my performance, but in particular do you think it sounds consistent from beginning to end? How about my recording setup? Thanks.
Alamo
Flock to Florida, hang ten in Hawaii, cruise in California… whichever sun-sational trip you take, you’ll get discounts of up to 25% off Alamo’s great rates, so you can have a cool time in a hot place. See ya in the sun! Call your local Virtuoso travel specialist for reservations or information. -
Hey everyone. Here are some recordings for my homework. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!
Gameboy
Its not just another mind-numbing family road trip to Grandma’s. It’s a tongue-biting, seat-wetting ride with GAME BOY ADVANCED ! Now with wider screen, enhanced graphics, and multi-player options. Game boy…ride with it.Lens Crafters
Helping people see is our calling. It’s what drives us all at Lens Crafters, the ability we have to give people better vision. We all feel that way. It’s who we really are as people. The smile that I get when people try on their glasses for the first time, that’s what it’s all about. Every hour, every day, we’re helping someone see.Wendy’s — Bacon Swiss Burger
What’s so special about Wendy’s new Bacon Swiss Burger? Bacon. Special Sauce. Swiss cheese. More bacon. All on a toasted kaiser bun. It’s the only bacon swiss burger with three strips of bacon! Mmmm. Doesn’t that sound delicious? WENDY’S NEW BACON SWISS BURGER. Come on in now and grab one while they’re hot!-
Hi Ryan! I really like the tone and texture of your voice. Of these three readings, Wendy’s was my favorite. I felt like there was more variety, and I could really hear the excitement! I think in the Gameboy script there’s a nice opportunity for some contrast between the first two lines, which could grab the listener’s interest. Nice work!
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Well, I have to say Ryan you have a special voice that I’m sure many would love to hear in commercials. You have a clear strike zone with sarcasm, humor, and excitement. The way you enunciated the words in all three scripts was good, however I think your tempo sounded very forced and choppy. This in turn makes the “tone” sound inconsistent throughout. A good read has to sound as if your speaking to someone and trying to woo them. Listeners of this I feel would more likely be eyeing the exit sign… My advice, listen to actual commercials and when reading, pretend your saying the words to someone in person. Hope this helps.
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