Feedback Forum
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micpri53.
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by
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This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
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August 24, 2023 at 5:28 pm #89716
Michele Martin
ParticipantHi everyone,
Submitting a narration read for feedback. I think I am guilty of using uptalk in the middle section talking about “kids who are curious enough to question”. I’m not fixing it because I want to confirm that it is indeed uptalk. Trying to learn to “hear” it when I do it.
Thank you 🙂
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August 24, 2023 at 4:39 pm #89712
Michele Martin
ParticipantHi All!
Here is my first narration read; Trying to get the hang of it after working on commercial scripts in the past. I’m appreciative of any feedback.(I know I need to better articulate the “P” at the end of “looking up” in the first sentence ;).
Thank you,
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August 28, 2023 at 1:07 pm #89855
Danielle
ParticipantHi Michele. I love the quality of your voice throughout this read, I find it very exciting, engaging and enticing. I thought your diction and pace were good. One pattern I did notice throughout the read was regarding your phrasing: specifically, your pitch tends to go up at the beginning of your sentences and then down at the end of each sentence in a similar manner, so maybe some variation there would be something to think about. Good job!
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August 24, 2023 at 3:28 pm #89709
jennbowers
ParticipantHi everyone! This is my first submission and I’d some feedback about my pace, as I tend to read a little fast, and if the tone is anywhere in the ballpark! The first one is a biography narration and the second is a commercial. Thank you!
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September 12, 2023 at 9:55 am #90166
latyesemca
ParticipantFor the Gertude Bell read, it felt a little too monotoned for me? Intriguing nonetheless! Maybe changing the tone on a few words to bring some spark to it? Especially if it’s about the adventure of someone’s life. The clarity though was fantastic! I hope Steve makes a lot of money on Chownow because I was pretty invested!
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August 25, 2023 at 10:15 pm #89788
Stephen Winburn
ParticipantHi Jenn!
I think your pacing and tone for Chow Now work great for that piece, well done!
As for the Gertrude Bell piece, i think the pacing for its current tone works well, but I think the tone might be more somber than the reading calls for. The text talks about Gertrude’s “passion” and “defiant independence”, and says her life was ultimately a great adventure! I think the tone should reflect more of that vitality that Gertrude’s autobiography is supposed to inspire in its potential readers. -
August 25, 2023 at 1:29 am #89751
Jacqueline Figueiredo
ParticipantHi! I think your tone was great & your pace was nice & steady! Great job!
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August 24, 2023 at 2:32 pm #89705
Chris Neil
ParticipantHello everyone, Please listen to a recent audition I did, any feedback would be appreciated, Thanks.
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August 25, 2023 at 10:22 pm #89789
Stephen Winburn
ParticipantHi Chris!
I thought this was a great read and that the tone and pace were great and it sounded conversational! There was just a wee diction issue on “opportunity” where the last few syllables got jumbled.
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August 26, 2023 at 10:27 am #89798
Chris Neil
ParticipantThanks for the feedback, it’s amazing that I never heard that when listening to it back, a second set of ears is so helpful Thanks again
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August 24, 2023 at 1:39 pm #89701
MattSchonberg
ParticipantHi there; posting these for feedback before my next class in Narration, from the Edge Narration scripts “Walgreens – New Team Members Voice Over Script” and “Sharks Voice Over Script”.
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August 25, 2023 at 11:40 pm #89792
Stephen Winburn
ParticipantHi Matt!
I think your reads are spot on for pacing and diction, very well done!
With the tiger shark, something about the read made the tone of the piece unclear? I can’t put my finger on it, but listening to it i wasn’t sure how serious the danger was, if that makes any sense.
And the Walgreens piece, tone was perfect! I would say that– if I’m understanding conversationality correctly, that this sounded a bit announcer-y. Like this was a group onboarding rather than a one-on-one conversation.
I hope that’s helpful to you!
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August 23, 2023 at 3:39 am #89667
Jhern245
ParticipantHello everyone. This is my first of likely many requests for feedback. I would like to request creative feedback only since I am not currently recording out if a studio. This is an AMC theater intro bumper and a documentary description. My issues are rushing and sometimes not fully pronouncing things like the word “to” and saying “tah”. Thanks in advance!
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August 23, 2023 at 5:03 pm #89682
Brian Evans
ParticipantHi! For the AMC intro, I like the confident and informative beginning. It seems like it could pick up the pace and enthusiasm at “Movie fans can’t get enough…”. The new idea might be more enticing with an energy shift at that point. I also feel that the last few thoughts are a bit broken up. Maybe keeping the thoughts moving forward to the next idea would work.
For the Empire of Dreams documentary text, I also felt that you had a good tone of authority on the subject. One pattern that I noticed is the downward inflections at the ends of sentences. I think it works well when you sustain momentum between thoughts, as with “…small group from Cuba” into “then a larger one from Mexico.” Nice work!
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August 23, 2023 at 11:56 am #89678
Jhern245
ParticipantThe AMC one is lengthy so feel free to stope listening after the first 20 seconds.
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August 22, 2023 at 1:59 pm #89655
Emily Gauthier
ParticipantHello! Thank you to everyone who helped give me advice on my first read! This is my second attempt, so please let me know what I can approve on!
This time I tried doing it in my closet to get rid of some of that echo. On that note, for those of you who do use your closest as your workspace, how do you keep it from getting hot?
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September 12, 2023 at 9:58 am #90167
latyesemca
ParticipantThis was a great read! A little quick for my taste but still awesome nonetheless!
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August 23, 2023 at 3:52 am #89671
Jhern245
ParticipantHi Emily. I liked the take but I do feel like there may have been an added pause “and, in a short time”. I like the personality in the ending.
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August 22, 2023 at 8:33 pm #89663
Brian Evans
ParticipantHi Emily. I really like the positive and enthusiastic read. Your confidence with the material makes me feel like I can learn to read music! I think “accompanying” could be more articulated. Maybe the “R” in “Reading” at the very top is drawn out a bit more than it needs to be?
I used a closet for a bit and moved on to a space with sound panels. That has been more comfortable. But the sound as compared to your last recording is MUCH better. Well done!
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August 19, 2023 at 10:33 am #89627
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August 12, 2023 at 11:54 am #89359
Tracy
ParticipantHello Forum –
I’m hoping to get some additional feedback on some retakes that I have done. Thank you in advance.
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August 16, 2023 at 7:53 pm #89435
Stephen Winburn
ParticipantHi Tracy,
I listenend to your original takes as well as this one and it’s definitely been an improvement! I could really hear the smile in your voice for the in both baking and retail. Personally I thought the pacing and tone for the first retail read was more appropriate, even if it wasn’t considered conversational.
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August 11, 2023 at 9:22 pm #89345
DillonP
ParticipantI Have just up loaded two new recordings one Commercial and narration. Please give feedback to know if I made any errors or not in diction and annunciation I would really appreciate it.
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August 23, 2023 at 3:47 am #89670
Jhern245
ParticipantHi Dillon. In the Toronto one I think the beginning and end sound like the works kind of run together. I think the end first phrase and the list at the end could use just a little more time to be heard completely.
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August 13, 2023 at 1:51 pm #89371
Ellyn Zager
ParticipantHi Dillon! For the Voice of the City piece – I have the same issue – you might want to slow the pace. Imagine speaking to one person as if having a conversation, that helped me.
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August 12, 2023 at 12:11 pm #89362
Tracy
ParticipantHey there Dillon – I like the ending to the 99ers recording and would suggest the beginning of the reading to be just a bit less charged and more empathetic for the subject (losing unemployment benefits). The second recording I thought it began well but the volume started getting lower towards the end of the recording which I don’t think was intentional. The pacing was also a bit fast and would suggest slowing down a little. I would also suggest that you make your statements more affirmative sounding as some of your statements sound as if you are asking a question because you end them higher in pitch. Eg. “we are all in the same boat”; and because boat is a bit higher it does not sound as convincing as it should.
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