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Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
Hey,
All critiques are good critiques! Appreciate your help!
Trendi.com
Trendi.com. It’s the #1 shopping site for top name brands at up to 75% off. Great style, great value and everything ships free. Trendi.com. Everything you love, for less.
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Hello!
Your voice seems to have a naturally effortless, easygoing, almost serene way about it, which are all great qualities – it makes it easy to listen to. But since music might be added to your VO, consider increasing your energy on both reads, and add a hint of punch or excitement behind some of the key words or phrases. For instance, on the Trendi read, I’m wondering if you might sound differently if you read “75% off” and that “everything ships free” as if you just found out about it, or if you were telling your friend about it. For the Revlon read, the energy needs to be brought up to the same vibrancy as the red hair color makes you look and feel. And again, image you are telling a friend about your hair, and even imagine running your hand through that soft hair. I think you’ll have it in you to let the excitement come out!
I agree, it is a Nail for me too! I just had a minor observation, that each sentence seemed to end in inflection in the same way, which if the copy was longer, might become a pattern to the listener. But you really have the perky energy that this kid commercial needs, and you hit the right words. Yes, definitely Nailed it!
You have a lovely voice! Very easy to listen to. Good recording quality. I would say to try and vary the delivery of the words a bit to keep the listener engaged, but overall very nice and good pacing. Nice job!
I think your voice is great! Definitely caught my attention. I think it would be good to slow your pacing down a bit and focus a little more on enunciation (for example hierarchy — which also might have had to do with the speed).
Thanks for the feedback. I thought it might be a little too fast, but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just second guessing myself. Really appreciate it.
Hi everyone,
My coach assigned me to upload an audition-style track with a slate at the beginning, followed by the same script performed in two different styles. Let me know what you think!
Hi Cecilia,
Great job on both versions! I definitely liked the style of the second version over the first, because it sounded more conversational throughout. Your voice has an innate brightness to it!
Janet
Hello Cecilia!
Great track and great voice! I can distinguish the different styles. I like how the beginning of one style is upbeat, while the other starts more conversational. Both make me excited for ice tea.
You have such a soothing voice. Great audio quality too! I guess if I had to nitpick I’d say to draw out the word “lows” a little less so that the thought becomes more cohesive.
Howdy! I’m currently developing my commercial chops with the aim of recording my demo in June. Feel free to have a listen to these samples and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Commercial 1: Trendi
Trendi.com. It’s the #1 shopping site for top name brands at up to 75% off. Great style,
great value and everything ships free. Trendi.com. Everything you love, for less.
Commercial 2: Vigoro Ultra
Vigoro Ultra greens your lawn in 72 hours and lasts up to three months. It’s the same
technology used to keep Arnold Palmer’s Bay Hill club in championship shape. You’ll find
Vigoro Ultra at The Home Depot.
You’ve got great rhythm and pitch in both of these samples. In the first one I did notice a little microphone bump sound at the end so I would just be mindful of that. For the second one, I might take a half second longer between “championship shape” and “you’ll find” so that it has space to breathe and become two distinct thoughts. Sounds great otherwise. Good luck with your demo:)
This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by ceciliashaw.
Howdy Markos! Commercial #1 sounds amazing. Very energetic, great transition between sentences, and hitting those buzz words. Commercial #2 sounds great as well. I thought you may have loss a little breath during the second sentence.
I can already tell that my voice in this recording is higher because I’m nervous. I am open to any other feedback or suggestions you can provide. Thank you!
Butterball
Butterball brings you the joys of turkey day. Friends and family drop in to bask in the warmth of the season. Celebrate this summer with Butterball turkey on the grill. Tender, juicy, surprisingly simple. HAPPY THANKSGRILLING from Butterball.
I love the quality of your voice, it brings such light to your read! One thing I’d recommend is to consider helping the copy along with a little faster pacing. Aim for the excitement before a Thanksgiving meal rather than the sedation after it. Great job!
Hi all! Uploading the last of my Narration Homework before I start working towards my next run of classes. Thanks!
Texicon Family
“Hey there new employee, or should we say, new family member. As a member of the Texicon family, we want to formally introduce you to your new home, but too formal because that’s just not our style. Now you’ve already got your new uniforms and met with our incredible CEO, or head of the family as we like to call him. Now it’s time for me to bring you up to speed on what your days are going to be filled in with. Make sure you grab some of the complimentary cake you have in front of you, we love cake here so you’re going to have to get used to that, and see what the rest of your time at the Texicon household has in store for you!”
The Unveiling of the Ferrari F-12 Berlinetta
It is the fruit of a huge amount of work and passion
and incorporates our most innovative technologies
working with the best technological partners in the world.
This is an extraordinarily high performance car.
It’s 740 horsepower, in fact
make it the most powerful road car Ferrari has ever built.
Aside from performance, our other focus was weight reduction.
Using aluminum to produce a car
that’s not only more rigid and therefore safer
but also more compact and very, very light.
Efficiency was another area in which we concentrated
And the result is a car that has made huge strides
in terms of fuel consumption and emissions.
Kids Activity TV
Every day is an adventure with Activity TV. It’s the place to be for hundreds of Awesome activities in dozens of categories! Cartooning to magic to cooking and more – ready for you day or night. This month learn some gross out magic. Watch closely as Ryan teaches you to perform the severed finger trick!
Hello!
Your voice sounds nice and clear in all three reads, with a nice and pleasant tone. Of the three reads, the first sounded the most conversational. I think the third read could have been more conversational, and if the audience for the third read is kids, then perhaps that should influence your read even more, with more excitement behind “Awesome,” “gross out magic” and “severed finger trick.” On the second read, try visualizing with each line what the visuals will be, and see if that affects the pacing or spacing of your sentences as the visuals are shown with it. Great job on all three. I like the clarity of your voice.
You voice is so nice and calming, and has such gravitas at the same time! The recording quality seems perfectly clear to me. I can’t think of anything to suggest except maybe experiment with phrasing and pacing so that when you deliver the second and third sentences, they connect to or support the main thought of the first sentence (in the case of the Egypt read). I think your voice will pair really well with the images of a documentary.