Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everybody. I’m posting my homework assignment for my next Narration class. Please feel free to provide feedback on performance and recording quality.
Thank you,
ErikRecycling
I don’t know about you, but I like our planet a lot! And one of the easiest ways we can help protect the Earth is by recycling. That’s where instead of throwing things like plastic in the trash, you put them in a special bin so they go to a kind of factory to be reused. You’ve probably recycled things like plastic bottles before. There might even be a recycling bin in the room you’re in right now! Recycling is important because it helps keep the Earth clean, especially from trash made of plastic.
Yellowstone
In the northern part of the park, large stretches of grass and sagebrush spread across the mountains and valleys. Similar to the prairies, this habitat provides an excellent home to the badger and her new family. They see light, for perhaps the first time. A strange new world for them. And they stay close to their mother at first. But growing bolder, they begin to explore on their own.Sean Connery
He was born Thomas Sean Connery in Fountainbridge, Scotland, on August 25, 1930, the son of Joe, a truck driver, and Euphamia, a 20-year-old housewife. The neighborhood was known as “the street of a thousand smells” for the stench of the local rubber mill and several breweries that always filled the air. Connery’s home was a two-room flat in “tenement land”, where the infant slept in a bureau drawer because his parents couldn’t afford a crib.-
Hi Erik, love the rich, resonant quality of your voice–very crisp, clear delivery on all counts. I agree with nettipo1 and SuperLuke that you might now try a bit more conversational approach in your reads. You’ve got the authoritative tone down pat, now maybe smooth it out a bit for a more natural delivery. Keep up the great work!
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HI Erik, I like the energy and pace of the three reads, but in a way it sounds like you are trying to make every word distinct, and you may be pushing on the words a bit too much. You may want to see how you would sound if you were saying these words to someone next to you. Still, I like the energy and clarity of your voice, which is an advantage you have with narration for sure.
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Hi Erik,
Comment: The first performance sounds like a commercial. It also sounds like you are aiming for sounding like an announcer. The second recording sounds like something we would use for the Discovery Channel, very well done! The third recording was good for narrating the biography.
Critique: Although, maybe make your narration voice stretch out and sound different for each recording because the scripts have set different tones, moods, and feels to them. Your voice sounds the same throughout all 3 reads and sets similar tones.
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One more that I was working on this morning! I have a bad habit of saying “yer/fer/tuh” instead of “your/for/to” so that was what I was working on with this script. It felt like I was over-enunciating, but that’s why I’m bringing it to the community for feedback! 🙂
YOUR SMILE
Your smile says a lot about you. If you let it. When you’re uncomfortable about your teeth, it’s easy to hold back your smile. Invisalign’s advanced technology now lets you straighten your teeth invisibly – so you can express yourself fully. And because they’re invisible, no one has to know about it. Hundreds of thousands of people already have discovered Invisalign. Maybe it’s time you were one of them.
Thanks
Chance
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Hi everyone,
I’m throwing in a commercial script for some feedback.
LEGOS
My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do. LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.
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Hello! Your voice is really nice and clear, and energy and overall pacing is good–but, you might want to vary the pacing and inflection more to make your read more natural. It also sounds like you end your sentences at the same or similar pitch level (listen to the first and second sentences), which gives it a pattern that makes it sound less natural. So perhaps hold a stronger image in your mind of one person you are talking to, maybe create a lead-in phrase or phrases as if you were just chatting with them, and then roll right into delivering the script, and see if it sounds different. Keep having fun with it!
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Hey,
Feedback PLEASE! I appreciate suggestions, advice, and all words of wisdom you’d like to share!
Thanks!The script: Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.
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HI Sue. The tone and tempo of your read were good. You also hit key words nicely, i.e. real in the first sentence. Watch out for pauses, I noticed one between “cat and” in the fourth sentence. Overall good job.
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Hey everyone,
Here’s some practice scripts I tried to tackle. Let me know what you think. I love any and all feedback.
Thanks!
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O*G! Great reads! I loved the kids — you nailed the ‘no’! Loved the inflections there. The Sandals, well that sounded a little dark. Try a lighter tone for a more inviting sound. Keep it up!
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Great job with the Six Flags commercial read. The second recording sounds like you are advertising the hotel resort with your deeper/ lower register. The second performance seemed like it needed more energy and cheer in your voice. I’m hearing your lower register, not bad for the commercial, but you need to sound inviting to the audience to go to the hotel you are advertising.
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Both reads feel a little rushed, especially the second one. I think you might want to subtract some of the pauses you make (“friends and family” in the first reading, for example, doesn’t really require a pause). Varying inflection a bit more could be useful — “A pay raise?” and “your dream house?” for instance, are using the exact same inflection twice in a row, which makes it sound less like you’re talking conversationally and more like you’re reading a to-do list. The second read sounds particularly choppy. Again, smoothing out some of those pauses could help. You’re treating some commas almost like periods. (For example, “About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born” sounds almost like four unrelated statements right now.) “Thinning, cooling, and clumping” could use more variety of pitch and inflection, in order to sound like you’re genuinely interested in the text and really trying to convey an idea to the listener. “…the gas and dust that would become nine planets” could also be smoother. In general, the second read would benefit from a bit more relaxed approached. The fundamentals are there. Now, it’s just a question of sounding a little more natural about it, as though you’re speaking your own thoughts.
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Hello everyone,
I’m working on a narration demo, I would like comments on my read and also my recording quality.
Thanks in advance for listening.-
Hi Bev, Wow. Very impressed with your Dickinson read. A very complex script that you’re able to delivery clearly, crisply, and naturally. Authoritative while still intriguing listeners with the emotion you infuse in what—in another performer’s hands—might’ve been a rather dull script.
Your Aetna read is equally pleasant to the ears, though it sounds a bit rushed (says the fellow voice talent who always seems to be in a race to finish a sentence 🙂) Maybe try a bit more relaxed pace with future takes. Keep up the great work!
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Hey Bev,
I thought your pacing was good and I liked the tone. Up and down in the right places and it sounded good for the piece, too. One possible suggestion would be to try to keep an eye on your soft “s” sounds. Like when you say “sketch” in the first piece is distinctly different from how you pronounced the “s” in “selection” earlier in the piece, with the former being a bit raspier. I have the same problem (if you can really even call it that), and have found that minding where my tongue rests in relation to the back of my top teeth can reduce this a bit.
As far as the recording quality is concerned, there is quite a bit of mouth-popping going on. Not sure if you’re using a pop filter or not, but if not that could help. Also make sure you have a steady supply of water nearby if you don’t already. If you already do/have both of those, you might consider looking into some plugins for you DAW that could manage that, as well.
Overall, I thought you sounded great from an acting POV. Great work!
Thanks,
Devon
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Hi everyone,
I have two commercial readings and would be very grateful for any feedback. It’s my first homework assignment using some new equipment. My set-up is in a walk-in closet w/ a USB mic and pop filter.
Thanks so much,
HerlenaNew York Life
Peace of mind is waiting to meet you all across the country. In towns big and small, there’s a New York Life agent who can help you to secure your future and protect your family. New York Life–The Company You Keep.Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.-
Hi H Harris,
The New York Life, I though your pacing was good. The last phrase “The company you keep” you seemed to drop the p on keep I heard kee. Good choice with the walk in closet, but I would add more sound absorption, there’s a little echo.Your read for the Atlanta Bread Company, the pacing was good for me, however your volume was too low, maybe play with your gain, I turned up my volume on the playback as high as it could go and you still were very soft.
Good luck learning how to use your new equipment.
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Hey HHarris,
Super silky voice! I’d just say that the name of the company – the one that writes the check – should be solid! The names of both companies flew by pretty fast. Yes, Atl Bread Co –was low. But I have issues with the volume as well, so I can only suggest that you turn up the volume on the computer. New equipment is tricky — can’t wait to hear more!
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Hey Hh!
Hmmm, what do I know….check your work before you submit it, NY Life cut out; the volume on Atlanta was too low. Whatever soft ware you use, play with it and learn it; Edge offers courses in several soft wares.
Slow way down and relax. As my instructor hammers into me, find the lists in the piece and differentiate them via tone. Talk naturally and try to imagine another person speaking the words to you.
Rock On!
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Hi everyone,
I have three commercial readings and would be very grateful for any and all feedback.
Regards,
John
Eating Disorder
You notice your friend has been throwing away her lunch. She’s started wearing baggy clothes – all the time. She seems tired. These are warnings of an eating disorder, the deadliest mental illness we know. But early treatment is the key to recovery. And as a friend you can be the difference.
Meet Ricky
Meet Ricky, this is his neighborhood. Creating a brighter future for Ricky and many other kids like him starts with giving them a safe place to play. At Edison, we are partnering with nonprofits to build parks in our communities that need them. Life powered by Edison.
Jaguar
I was born fast. Faster than those who would challenge me. I was born strong. Quiet in confidence. And blessed with might. I was born with instinctive quickness. Quick to recognize. To adapt. To respond. Quick to be quick. I was born to be seen by everything but the wind. I was born at the beginning of the last century, but I am undoubtedly of the next century. I am Jaguar. Born to perform.
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Hey John!
Are you kidding me!! Your accent and Jaguar!! Sold! But; I did this piece as well, my take on your read would be to be a bit more driven (no pun intended), tougher perhaps? A Jag is performance and speed as well as luxury.
The other two, nice, a little less “stiff upper lip” and those p’s and consonants are popping out.
Rock On! -
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Hey everyone, I just finished a Telephony audition and was hoping for some feedback. Do I sound calming and able to keep customers enthusiastic and less likely to hang up? Am I pursuading you to purchase LG products?
LG Summer Rebate
A representative will be with you shortly. Summer is already here at LG! Time to enjoy a new air conditioner. Ask your representative for more details.-
Hello! Your voice is pleasant and friendly and clear…very suitable for this kind of script. The tone, energy level, and pacing are good, but I think the commercial portion of the script needs to be more differentiated from the telephony part, and more conversational. To test the conversational part, I usually ask myself if it sounds like someone next to me in line at a store talking to me, or me talking to them… Since it’s almost like an aside that calls your attention to something else for a brief moment, you might want consider using a slightly different energy or pacing with the commercial part; again, to differentiate from the telephony part a little.
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