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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Howdy! I’m currently developing my commercial chops with the aim of recording my demo in June. Feel free to have a listen to these samples and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Commercial 1: Crest
Introducing the Crest Extender. Gentle Extender fibers clean deep between teeth. Now you
can floss daily…extend between. Crest Extender. Fits between to get teeth clean.Commercial 2: Allegra
Seasonal allergies can make you feel miserable. Only once-daily Allegra has fexofenadeen,
for long lasting, non-drowsy allergy relief. So you can feel more like yourself again.
For people 12 and older. Side effects include headache, upper respiratory tract infection and
back pain. Call you doctor now for more information.-
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Hey there! Great job on these two spots. You hit all the right notes and nuances in both recordings. I guess I’d suggest that if, for example, these two spots were next to each other on a demo, see if you can vary the emotion–or bring out the emotion more in each spot–so that they contrast more and to also show more of your acting ability, which I can tell you totally have. Also, be aware of not saying the words as written. You added “the” before teeth in the second sentence of Crest, and you said “once-a-day” rather than “once daily” in the Allegra spot. I think you’re pretty much ready for that upcoming demo recording.
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Hi everyone! Here is my commercial homework before my next session with Art. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you, and stay safe out there!
Gamestop Trade-In Promo
Beat all your games? Keep it fresh and get up to 40% extra trade credit when you trade toward Dragonball Fighters, Monster Hunter: World or Shadow of the Colossus. Gamestop. Buy. Sell. Trade. Repeat. Rated T through M.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?
Tag: 1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.Woodies
I hate Woodies! I’m the only dog on the block that doesn’t get any love, and I tell you, I’m fed up! It’s just Woodies, Woodies, Woodies … every doggone day. She never has time for me anymore. When I want to romp in the park — “Sorry, darling. Mommy has to go to Woodies to buy a new dress.” When I want to play fetch the stick — “Not now, Canine Cutey, WOODIES is running a sale on shoes.” I thought it was supposed to be a dog’s world out there. If only I were a cat!-
Hey Ryan, great read! For the Gamestop one, I recommend smoothing out the pacing. There are some parts that are delivered fast while some parts drag a bit. Getting the pacing to a more natural and even place will enhance the read immediately. Break a lip!
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Great job!
I agree with Markos about the pacing for Gamestop.
I Am Anxiety – Great change in tone and inflection. I can hear the frustration/anxiety you’re trying to express in the read. Is the title part of the script? It’s a little hard to distinguish it from the rest of the script because the tone is the same.
Woodies – Another great demonstration of frustration, but this time as a dog. I would consider possibly staying in the “Mommy” (mocking) character a little longer in the “Not now, Canine Cutey, WOODIES is running a sale on shoes.”
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Hi All,
Hope everyone is safe and well!
Looking for some feedback on this narration spot-anything from technique to the studio aspect is welcome!
Thank you!
Script:
Lights. Camera. Action!Great movies can kindle curiosity, teach kids important life lessons and make it easier for parents and kids to discuss sensitive issues.
Be sure to take time to ask questions, role play and extend the program with related books and activities.
Take turns selecting the evening’s films, so everyone plays a role in movie night.
Take advantage of DVDs with added footage and commentary from actors and directors.
They can give interesting insights into how movies are made, how special effects are created and more. Give your own movie reviews afterwards or create your own “rating” system.
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Hello! Your voice sounds smart and energetic! My main suggestion is to slow down your pacing, so that phrases like “important life lessons” and “kids to discuss” are clearer to the listener. Also, you might want to consider emphasizing more of the important words or phrases that will help bring out the overall message of the script…phrases like “kindle curiosity” and “interesting insights.” Or perhaps consider similar phrases such as “teach kids,” “take time,” “take turns,” and “take advantage,” –maybe those could be gently brought out more because you are basically encouraging the listener (parents) to see the possibilities. These are just suggestions – you will have a better idea of which words are important for this piece. I look forward to hearing more.
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Hello all. This is my first posting to this forum – looking forward to all/any feedback!
The direction was “conversational”, engaging and sincere.
Script:
It’s never been easier to recycle your extra fridge. Georgia Power’s Refrigerator Recycling Program will pick up your working secondary refrigerator or freezer for free and responsibly recycle it. You’ll clear some space, lower your monthly bills, and earn a $35 rebate. Our crew will come to your home, briefly inspect the appliance to ensure that it is in working and cooling condition, then safely remove the appliance and load it onto our truck for transport. You won’t have to lift a finger!Interested in any feedback on the read itself, or comments on the studio sound or post-processing on the file.
Many thanks!
Kev
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Hi,
I really like your voice, but I am agreeing with JustJohn that it sounds more aggressive than necessary. I definitely was engaged, but I did not get conversational. I also could not tell if it was commercial or narration that you would hear on a website. I did really like your articulation, and if your pitch maybe was different it would be a great read.
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It definitely sounds like a commercial. Hearing your vocal performance, I could hear how you wanted to sound engaging, like a conversation between you and your listeners. And, the best part is you sounded believable.
Great job, Kev -
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Great voice! I can’t put my finger on it, but something in this read sounds more aggressive than necessary. Maybe it’s the post-production compression? A bit more gain than necessary? I’m not sure. The articulation is good, but I wonder if it isn’t a little too exact (for example, “…and responsibly recycle it” the glottal on “and” is a bit strong, as is the explosive “t” on the end of “it”). The forceful pronunciation, with its abundance of glottal stops, gives the read a bit of a mechanical quality (like some of those robo-calls we all receive). I think, if “conversational” is your goal, the whole read could flow together a little more fluidly and informally. The read is already good. I think, with a few adjustments, it could be great.
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Hello! I’m new here and this is my first homework assignment; two commercials.
Your brain has 2 sides. The right side: creative, buys things, has fun. The left side: organized, practical, saves money. Now JC Penney makes both sides happy. It’s the buy more, save more sale. It’s simple, the more you buy, the more you save. 20 to 30%. So use your head. Buy more. Save more. Only at JC Penney.
So much beauty in one place! America is a great country, and we’ve got the best way to see it. Amtrak “Explore America” fares. Round trips from one hundred and seventy nine dollars all across America. It’s a great country at a great price. Call 1-800-USA-RAIL now about Amtrak “Explore America” fares.
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Congrats on doing your first homework posting! Your voice sounds nice and energetic! The two readings do need to be much more conversational. Perhaps you can imagine talking to just one person, which will make it more intimate and that will help you to reduce your volume and projection. Remember that there are ways to change the quality of your voice to express excitement without increasing the volume.
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Hi!
For the JC Penney ad, it sounded a little bit too “old timey” commercial (I hope that makes sense) then it needs to be. Try standing or sitting in a different position when recording, or even acting it out as more of a conversation it would be even better.I really liked how you started the see America one-I was engaged instantly. Try and keep that excitement up throughout This is also something I am working on and you will get better every time!
Keep up the great work!
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I’m considering this script for my narration demo. I’d be grateful for constructive feedback!
WHAT CAUSES PSORIASIS?
Psoriasis is a chronic condition that shows up as thick red patches on your skin. …but that’s only half the story. Psoriasis actually begins inside your body, when your immune system goes into overdrive, and affects the skin-production process. Normally, new skin cells take about a month to cycle to the surface. But with psoriasis, the cycle gets sped up to just a few days, leading to a rapid over-production of cells that build up on your skin’s surface. With no time to shed, the cells create itchy, sore patches that usually appear on your elbows, back, scalp, and hands. While the exact cause is unknown, a person’s immune system, combined with their genes, seems to play a critical role.-
Hello! I like the pleasant, helpful tone of your read, but because this is kind of serious piece about a skin condition, you might want to consider lessening some of the pleasantness in phrases such as “that usually appear on your elbows.” Also, I noticed a tendency to fall into an up-and-down (my coach calls it “sing-songy” when I do it) pattern with the emphasis that you are placing on every other/every third word. Try different ways to emphasize the words, or be more selective with the words you emphasize, or try different pacing to help avoid that pattern. It will be great to hear another read from you in the future.
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In my own opinion, I would ask myself, “What kind of narration demo do I want?” before I pick something to narrate in my demo. Since you picked this one about psoriasis, I’m guessing you want to make a demo that reflects you as a nonfiction narrator for an article that you may find in a medical journal or a documentary.
As far as your performance and recording quality, good job narrating without having to take a breath in between sentences. You were audible and clear. If you are trying to sound like a documentary, you’re on the right path.
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What was the homework assignment from Art about? The first recording flows very nicely, you sound like a nice commercial for Allstate. I heard some ringing or echoey sounds as you say, “Congratulations” for a second or 2. In the second recording, you sound close to the microphone. I also think it needs to sound a little bit different than the Allstate commercial. The third was a good performance about the beavers. But maybe have less of a pause when you say, “the b****r builds its lodge out of trees and sticks”, I heard the b****r (longer pause) builds its…Maybe make it sound consistent; “the b****r builds”
Anyway, I enjoyed hearing your performances. Keep up the good work
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Hello! I liked the even pacing of all three reads. Having said that though, I think there’s an opportunity in each read to adjust your vocal tone or pacing when there’s a change in emotion or thought. In the first recording, it’s when you say “However…” and in the second recording, it’s “But sadly…” These phrases suggest a different emotion that will help contrast with the positive emotion that each recording ends with. Overall, your voice is clear and pleasant to listen to!
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Good annunciation. I think your tone is good for both reads. Both reads would benefit from a little more “familiar” or “natural” approach. They’re both good, but I can easily imagine how they could be better. It’s just a matter of keeping all the good stuff you’re doing, and sanding out the little rough patches. At times, your pace seems a little rushed, and your pauses are a little too frequent and too long, giving the read a bit of a choppy feel — I especially hear an overabundance of pauses in the “Pronamel” read. The JP Morgan Chase read contains a number cadences that sound very similar to each other, giving the read a bit of a repetitive feel. I’d like to hear you mix it up a bit. Keep up the good work!
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Hello! 2 more recording in preparation for my narration Demo. Any feedback appreciated. Thank you!
Scripts:
Misty Copeland
Misty Copeland was born on September 10, 1982 in Kansas City Missouri and later moved to San Pedro, California with her mother and five siblings. Copeland was first introduced to the world of dance after joining her school’s drill team. Surprised by her talent, the team’s coach suggested that Copeland take classes at the local Boys & Girls Club, where she also captured the attention of the program’s ballet teacher, Cynthia Bradley. Although most ballet dancers begin dancing as early as three or four years old, Copeland’s late start at age 13 did not overshadow her talent and the potential that she possessed.Bella’s Bedtime Blanket
Good evening, in tonight’s sleep story a young girl named Bella is going to discover that her favorite blanket, isn’t—well—just a blanket. She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s about to take an enchanted voyage, to not only a new place, but a new time. Before we begin, get under your covers and get nice and comfortable. Are you relaxed? Good. There you go. Now, take a few, slow breaths. In and out. In…and out. Much better. Now we’re ready to begin our story.-
Lovely read, Nadia! My one comment for the Misty Copeland script is to consider livening the pacing a bit to help the narrative move along. Hope that helps!
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Hey everyone! So this will be my last HW assignment for commercial work before working on my demo! Any and all advice is welcome and I hope the rest of you are working towards being the best!
Here are the scripts to follow along:
Purina One
Purina One Special Formula For Cats is made with real chicken. Good news for your cat. Great news for your canary. For a complete adult diet for your cat and the real chicken he wants, give him Purina One Special Formula. Your canary will thank you for it. Purina One. Second to none.Sesame Place
Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2021 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi™! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Place® theme park!Ziploc
Only Ziploc brand bags have a unique interlocking zipper to lock in freshness in a way no other bag can. When it comes out this fresh, you know it went in a Ziploc bag. Ziploc. We’ve got a lock on freshness.-
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Hello! Great job on all three recordings! I enjoyed the energy of all three. One suggestion is to make sure you pronounce the product name correctly, so in the first read, “Purina” is pronounced like “Pure-eena” instead of “Per-eena” (at least I think that’s how it’s supposed to pronounced–feel free to correct me if I am wrong!) Also, try to reduce any extra pauses, such as “We’ve got a lock [pause] on freshness.”
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