[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[gathonigachie]

Hello to All!

This is my first script and I will be glad to hear your feedback. Thank you in advance.

KENYA – A short documentary
When people think of Africa … they see disease … poverty … crime … violence … I am about to change that perception, and show you a country … where wealth … health … peace … security … is in abundance. Located in the heart of Africa, there is one magical country that has made that difference. Welcome to Kenya, my friends … and enjoy your stay with us.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Sylvanie]

Hi Gathonigatchie, Well done! I like the accent as well. Only feedback at when it came to the second line your pitch faded a bit.. but all in all great job indeed!

[Official81]

Hi Gathonigatchie! Your voice with it’s accent is outstanding, very alluring and convincing. Wonderful job! The only advice that I have is that you use some sound dampening equipment that it doesn’t sound like your in an empty room. But on your first script it was beautiful I love every minute. Was waiting for more.

[kristianwithakay]

That was wonderful! I mean I’m no expert; but your voice sounds absolutely lovely for documentaries! I’d 100 percent watch that program you’re sampling!

[mkell755]

First of all welcome!

I loved your take on this script – your voice is very colorful and had great emphasis on selected words throughout. It sounded like “the” was missing/smushed in “Located in the heart of Africa…”; that’s an easy fix. Also I did not hear a slight pause at the end of the sentence “…that has made a difference. Welcome…” and so the two sentences ran together. These small tweaks will make your performance sound a little clearer in my opinion. Good job and I hope that helps!

Mary

[suecat]

Hey Everybody,
I’m working on my studio, aka, closet, so please let me know how that sounds in addition to your other feedback. Thank you so much for listening and commenting.

Motel 6 Do-over
I’ve just been hearing about this trendy new hairstyle called a man bun. I mean what’s next the hee hive? well Motel 6 recently got a new updo of sorts too with renovations nationwide and even with our fresh modern look you’ll still find rooms at the lowest price of any national chain so you can save up enough money to get yourself a haircut or maybe a hat.
We’ll leave the light on for you, at Motel6.com

NO!
Kids hate the word no. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[mkell755]

Hi Suecat, good job on these! I liked the tone and pace for Motel 6, and the rising tone / your interpretation at “…or maybe a hat.”, which sounded like “…or maybe a hat?” For the second script, I really liked how you built the 3 things that kids hear “no” to as if each one of them was worse than the one before, really made it sound like a convincing story! Keep up the good work!

Mary

[suecat]

Thank you Mary for listening. I truly appreciate your comments.

[mkell755]

Sure, you are welcome! 🙂

[taylorn.quinn]

Hi All,

I hope everyone is staying safe!

I am currently working on my narration demo and working on keeping tone the same, as well as not rushing too much. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Thanks-Taylor

Script:

In the spring of 1987, Stevie Nicks checked herself into the Betty Ford clinic to end more than a decade of c*****e abuse. After undergoing a 30-day treatment, she was released. Stevie was determined to stay clean and anxious to continue her demanding career. She immediately went into the studio to record Tango in the Night with Fleetwood Mac. It would be their last album together for more than a decade. (music cue – “Seven Wonders”) By early 1988, Stevie Nicks was running out of steam. She was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. After four months on the Tango in the Night tour, her final few shows had to be canceled.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[mkell755]

Hi Taylor! Really good! I like the pacing and clarity of this a lot! I was really listening to hear about Stevie Nicks (who is a favorite of mine!). It was well performed and not rushed and also not too slow. The tone had a consistency to it without being monotone. It felt like you gave the listener time to understand / catch up to what was being communicated – very good!

Mary

[greta_j]

Oops, double post! Hello! Working on some commercial reads, particularly levels, pacing, and “telling the story” – don’t need audio advice as these are recorded on my phone 🙂 Thanks as always for your time! /Greta

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[greta_j]

Hello! Working on some commercial reads, particularly levels, pacing, and “telling the story” – don’t need audio advice as these are recorded on my phone 🙂 Thanks as always for your time! /Greta

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by greta_j.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[kristianwithakay]

I agree pampers read b was better! Also, that ben and jerry’s one was fun! I really liked the character you were getting into. It was fun to listen to! ^_^

[greta_j]

Hi! Thanks Kristian!

[taylorn.quinn]

I like how soothing your voice is. The pampers read B was definitely better. It flowed more, had a better pitch and wasn’t as monotone. Also watch how close you are to your microphone I kept hearing a popping noise. If you don’t have a pop filter it will definitely be worth the investment as I had similar issues when I was starting out as well. Keep up the great work!

[greta_j]

Thanks Taylor! These were just iphone reads 😛 My condenser mic has a pop filter, gotta have it! <3 Thanks again!

[Bil-Bo]

Wrangler Cool Vantage
No matter what time of year it is,
hard work comes with a lot of sweat.
That’s why there’s new Wrangler Cool Vantage jeans.
They keep you cool by wickin’ sweat five times faster.
They keep you dry by pullin’ moisture to the outside where it dries faster. They keep you comfortable, so you’re less restricted.
All day long. New Wrangler Premium Performance Cool Vantage Jeans. The newest innovation in comfort.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[greta_j]

I like this a lot Bil-Bo! Very fitting and convincing read for this product.

[JLivingston]

Hello everyone – I’ve been with EdgeStudio for a few months now but I’m new to the forums.
I’m working towards a narration demo at this point.
Would be greatly appreciative of any feedback on the files below.

Also – what is the etiquette for giving others feedback? Would it be inappropriate for me to give any feedback since I’m so new?

Looking forward to being a part of this community and working with all of you!

Cheers – Jorge

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[greta_j]

Hello Jorge! Great work! Love your tone and range. One thing you could practice is watching for choppiness or unneeded pauses between words or syllables. As to your question, feel free to give feedback on anything, everyone’s advice is valuable 🙂 Best, Greta

[twiegers]

Hi everyone!

I would love to get some feedback from you all. Below are the scripts I’ve created with files attached. I know there are some technical difficulties this time around, but I would love feedback more focused on the acting and connection with the script. Let me know what you all think. I’d really appreciate it!

Lucky Plus Dog – harnesses for dogs

Handmade dog gear made in small batches. Try our new no-pull harness for your pet. It has adjustable size, a durable nylon buckle, and mesh lining for easy breathing.

Strayer University

At Strayer University, we strive for you to get an affordable education that fits your busy schedule. We are designed for the way you live. With our online learning program, you can begin your degree with a new laptop preloaded with Microsoft software. Attend classes from anywhere. Begin your degree today.

Patagonia Austin- outdoor clothing store

This is Austin, TX. Mostly every day. Nothing but sunshine. Every. Single. Day. Patagonia Austin has a great selection of gear for climbing, trail running, mountain biking, travel, and the day to day.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Don Sack]

HEY ALL!
PICKING UP ON SOME MAJOR SLACK!
PUTTING THESE TWO OUT FOR YOUR CONSIDERATIONS!
MORE TO COME AS I AM GIVING MYSELF A SWIFT KICK IN THE REAR!
THANKS.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[nettipo1]

Hi Don,
Your voice is so nice to listen to. It has a warm, slightly gravelly, down-to-earth feel. Just a couple things I noticed:
The “t” and “d” at the end of certain words may not be distinct enough for the listener (such as in “Amstel LighT,” and “functionally you wanT” in the First Bank read).
You may also want to try different ways of saying the beginning and end of the copy to see if it expresses any other emotions. For instance, in the Amstel Light piece, maybe try a gentle and consoling “Heyy..” or a surly, know-it-all roommate “Hey.” I can tell that you have the ability to bring out the comedy and the flavors of the copy with your voice.
Good stuff overall. Thank you for posting!

[Don Sack]

Hey Nettipo1 !
Wow, thanks for the feedback! I listened to the spots and you are so right!! Well, that’s what I get for slacking off for almost two months; details like these! A raspy voice is usually not my deal, but that’s what I get for doing these when tired! LOL
Rock On!

[Cbrown865]

Hi everyone!

I recently finished my second coaching session and would love to get some feedback from you all. Heard this was the best place for that! Below are the scripts I’ve chosen from the library with mp3 files attached. Let me know what you all think. I’d greatly appreciate it! Thank you!

Mercedes – 2014 E Class

A car that can actually see like a human using stereoscopic cameras and even stop itself if it has to.
The technology may be hard to imagine but why YOU would want it..is not.
The 2014 E-class.. it doesn’t just see the future..it IS the future

Citibank

I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy. Never spent a lot on clothes.
So I meet a girl. She doesn’t mind that I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy.
We decide to get married. Now I need a tuxedo. I go big time.
I decide not to rent. I buy. It’s worth it. I look great!..Then I get this call. it’s not my best man. Not my mom. Its Citibank. They just wanted to make sure someone else wasn’t using my card. Imagine a T-shirt and jeans guy finding happiness with a girl, a tuxedo and a bank all at the same time. What a year!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[greta_j]

Hi Cbrown865! Nice fresh tone and personality in your reads. I agree, just slow it down and adjust pacing so each phrase and word can be heard in your message. Keep it up!

[Cbrown865]

Thank you Greta!

[Don Sack]

Hey Cb!
Slow it down; enunciate (slowing down will help with that?). Acoustics where you record. Rock On!!

[Cbrown865]

Thanks, Don!!

[Author]

Replies