Feedback Forum
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The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication.
Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
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Hello Forum!
I’ve got a couple more practice reads I’d love some feedback on! Thanks!
Travelocity:
Congratulations! You’ve successfully planned another vacation. You’ve called the airlines, the hotels, the rental car places and you’ve just hung up the phone. So brace yourself – the nagging doubt, the one that says, did I get a good deal on this vacation? There’s a better way to book travel. Travelocity.com. You’ll have over 700 airlines, over 45,000 hotels, and over 50 rental car companies all at your fingertips. You’re in control. Even look at pictures of your hotel room, or choose your airline seat. Enjoy vacation, and save your nagging doubt for your auto-mechanic. Travelocity.com…go virtually anywhere.State Farm:
YOU RENT the apartment, YOU OWN the Big Screen TV. Do you know your landlord’s insurance covers the building, not your stuff inside? But, for around the cost of a DVD a month, you can get Renters Insurance from State Farm® and protect the things that make your place your home. And if we insure your car too, you may qualify for a discount. Call your local State Farm Agent regarding the availability of Renters Insurance in your area. We Live Where You Live®.-
Hi JN! Good job on these! Your voice is well-suited for these genres – it was approachable, clear and authentic sounding. I liked the energy and enthusiasm and variation in lists on Travelocity, really nice. I think instead of “45 hundred hotels” it should be “45 thousand hotels”, not a big deal for practice. Good word choices to emphasize for State Farm too like RENT vs. OWN. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hi All! Working towards my narration demo and any feedback on this corporate read is much appreciated. Thanks!
Welcome to Advance Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
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Hey everyone. I have done it again. Here are three narration recordings I did for my homework. Any helpful criticism is appreciated, but I still had a goal to ensure that the scripts didn’t sound too similar in performance. Do I keep you engaged? How is my tone, pitch, and tempo? Anything helps, thank you.
Atrial Fibrillation
The heart is a remarkable organ. It is a muscle that relaxes and contracts, pumping blood carrying oxygen and nutrients throughout the body. The steady rhythm of these contractions is controlled by electrical impulses that travel through the heart, first through the upper chambers, called the atria; and then through the lower chambers, called the ventricles. In order to reach the ventricles, electrical impulses must pass here, at the atrioventricular node. Atrial fibrillation occurs when a storm of electrical impulses spread through the atria in a chaotic and disorganized pattern, causing the atria to begin rapidly contracting. As a result, the ventricles may also begin contracting faster. When the heart is in atrial fibrillation, the body can’t receive the blood and oxygen it needs.Firefighting
The interior attack is one of the most effective fire ground tactics. But to succeed, it means getting inside the building fast. This frequently means forcing entry. In our first program, we discussed conventional forcible entry; that is forcing entry by using a flathead axe into a structure where access is locked, blocked, or non-existent.Jerry Seinfeld
The move to New York meant returning to his roots for Seinfeld, who was born April 29, 1954, in Brooklyn and raised in the Long Island town of Massapequa (which he has always joked was an old Indian name meaning “by the mall”). After graduating from Queens College, Seinfeld appeared at New York comedy spots while supporting himself with odd jobs, including selling lightbulbs over the phone and waiting tables at Brew and Burger. As his act grew more polished, he honed the wry observational style that was to become his trademark.-
Hi Tim,
Very impressive reads! Like Darlene, I was engaged throughout each read, particularly during the first, where I found myself going back to biology class and revisiting the diagrams of the heart. I felt that the tempo was ideal for each read, and I liked the way in which you contracted “it’s a muscle” in the first, and “that’s forcing entry” in the second. Pitch and tone sounded, imho, appropriate for each read, with those for the second being particularly effective. I could visualize an instructor demonstrating this technique as part of an e-learning lesson, which is perhaps the context.
Finally, I thought that your recordings seemed technically perfect. Very clean indeed.
Thank you for sharing.
Regards.
John
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Hello everyone! Here are a few commercial scripts from the library, uploaded for any feedback and comments you have. Very much appreciate the time and attention!
All best,
John
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RX – Great read! I like what you did with “sweet” & “creamy.” My only suggestion would be to add a little more excitement to the “9 grams of protein.”
MBE – Great tone! The word ” Everybody” stood out a lot to me at the beginning. I suggest adding a little more emphasis on “Mail Boxes, Etc.” within the body of the script to give the product a little more prominence.
AMEX – Sounds great, very conversational. The pacing seemed a little fast to me though.
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@mvacc Cool. Thank you. I often start loud and am trying to work on that. Thanks for the comment on the AMEX one too. (blessed hands emoji)
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Looking for emotional connection and point of view of this script:
Oxy is boldly pursuing a lower-carbon future. To get there, we must zero in. Zero in together to advance every part of our business today. Zero in with purpose to develop the answers we will need tomorrow. Zero in on zero. Oxy. Zero in.
Thanks all.
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Hi everyone,
I am attaching three commercial recordings and would be very grateful for any and all feedback.
Regards,
John
Video Intro – Real Estate
Would you like to buy a house? Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that
MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen, I love Real estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
Humor me fort a short story before we get into the meat of this video.UCLA Extension
We are UCLA Extension.
We are scholars, innovators, visionaries, experimenters. We are idealists, artists, and optimists.
We have a one-hundred-year legacy of taking the unconventional path; the road less traveled. We know
that you don’t have to be a student to study. Because we know that knowledge is for everyone and that education improves people’s lives and makes communities stronger. We try and fail and then we try again [slight pause] because we know that there are many paths to success and we are defining our own goals and charting our own course.
[Pace of the VO picks up a little bit] We go into the unknown. We challenge ourselves. We keep rising. We dare to dream. We are here to make the world better. We are UCLA.Air Jamaica
On our island, you can party all night, or you can have a quiet, romantic evening. Maybe rocking to Reggae suits your style, or how about strolling through a posh plantation while sipping a mango margarita? No, it’s not a dream, it’s paradise — it’s Jamaica. And Air Jamaica is waiting to whisk you away on your choice of non-stop flights from New York to Montego Bay for only $199!-
First of all John, I think you really have what it takes for Narration. The first two scripts were fantastically performed at a great tempo, with a suitable tone, and you hit the words so well. Only problem was you were pausing midsentence, particularly at the “ands.” You need to save pauses for periods and commas. Otherwise your recording sounds pretty choppy. Also, the recordings sound a little too much alike, especially the “Air Jamaica” commercial script. Try adopting a different tone for each script.
You could do commercials too, but you have to remember that the point is to sell it, not explain like in Narration. Your “Air Jamaica” should have a happier or more excited tone. At least get into the spirit of the script. (What feeling do you get regarding the subject matter?)-
Hi Tim,
Thank you very much for your constructive feedback. I listened to the recordings again as I absorbed your points. You are spot on. I really have to deal with not only these pauses, but also the differences in tone and the importance of ensuring that I get into the spirit of the script. Thank you once more for taking the time to provide me with this feedback.
Regards,
John
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Hello everyone! I’m a beginner who’s only done research and practiced in his free time. I’m hoping to take some jobs doing voiceover for things like commercials, instruction videos, and books on tape. I’ve attached a few sample ads from my current demo and would really appreciate any feedback on whatever strengths and weaknesses I may have. Thank you all in advance!
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Wow! Your demo samples are amazing. The Car ad shows you have a serious and easy-going tone while the Podcast intro shows a bit more liveliness. I’m told that a voice actor needs to focus on their strike zone and I think yours is definitely “laid back” and “encouraging.” You hit very fitting words and I love how well you brought this to life. All I would say is, you need to work on your tempo, slow down, and try harder to sound less like an announcer. I hope this helps, you hardly sound like a beginner to me!
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Thank you so much for you feedback! It does a lot for my confidence to hear that I sound better than I thought I did. “Laid back” and “encouraging”, you say? I’ll try to play around with more like that then. I’ve also noticed I tend to speak a bit more quickly than needed, so I’ll try to work on that as well. Your tips are very helpful!
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Hello everyone!
I recorded some kids commercials and just wanted some constructive criticism on them. Thanks in advance!-
Hi Ashlee,
You sound great on these! For the Crayola commercial, I would suggest slowing down a bit, especially on the last line (Crayola… It starts with Crayola) and also varying your pitch a little more on the section that starts with “creativity” and ends with “less mess”.
In the second one, I think you should vary the sentences a bit so they don’t all follow the same pattern. -
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Hey Ashlee,
You have the perfect voice for these kids commercials! On both reads your tempo was really fast. I think if you slow down a bit, while keeping your tone, and pitch, the performance would sound more conversational. I loved your energy. Thanks for sharing. -
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Hi all! Here is a read for any and all feedback. Working towards my narration demo. Let me know what you think! Thank you! Mary
Shakespeare’s Family Life
Records survive relating to William Shakespeare’s family that offer an understanding of the context of Shakespeare’s early life and the lives of his family members. John Shakespeare married Mary Arden, and together they had eight children. John and Mary lost two daughters as infants, so William became their eldest child. John Shakespeare worked as a glove-maker, but he also became an important figure in the town of Stratford by fulfilling civic positions. His elevated status meant that he was even more likely to have sent his children, including William, to the local grammar school.-
Mary,
Not too bad. Audio sound seemed a little high maybe clipping. I thought you read it well with a few slight pauses in between. Good Job.-
Thanks for the feedback Robert! I’ll check on the audio levels. I typically have to Normalize it after I record because it has been too quiet in the past, so maybe I am finally getting better at projecting the right amount of volume to begin with. I’ll also work on the unnecessary pauses. Thanks again!
Mary
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I like what you did with the script. I think the tone you adopted was consistent and very fitting to a documentary’s narration. The tempo was also well-placed, but you were pausing midsentence. Also, it doesn’t sound conversational and more like an audiobook. You need to get into the spirit of this script by imagining where you’d be saying this and to who. (I envision this as a “tour guide’s” monologue to tourists at the Shakespeare estate or something.) I hope that helps.
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Hi Mary,
I got the same impression as Suecat. I would also suggest varying the sentences a bit so they don’t all follow the same pattern.
That being said, you have a great voice for this type of script! -
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Hey Mary,
You said this was narration, but it sounded to me more like an ebook. For me narration is a bit slower with a downward inflection and more relaxed, you seemed more excited and upbeat. With that said, it was a really nice read. Keep sharing! -
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Hi Everyone,
I’ve tried my hand at a few commercials that feel a bit out of my comfort zone for me, so I’m curious to hear what you all have to say. Thanks so much!!
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Hi JLoz,
As with Mary and Andrea, I thought that your reads were very strong. I could have been listening to my local radio station. I really struggle to come out of my comfort zone with commercials, but you made it seem effortless. Very clean recordings, too, may I say!
Regards,
John
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Hi Jloz, nice! They were all nice, did not seem out of your comfort zone to me. The pacing was good and you moved it along, which is good for these scripts. Great clarity throughout.
Business travel – I liked this one the best for you – it was clear and direct
Live event cats – Good lists, and I loved the meow at the end! Made me smile
Scotts Surf – Good lists again
Va-Va Voom – I think this could be a little more animated. I am picturing an over-the-top visual add behind it for some reason, I think the tones could be punched up a bit more / vary them up to sound even more exaggerated at key points, especially when discussing how this “isn’t your husband’s shampoo”. Good job!Mary
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Thanks for the feedback, Mary! Much appreciated, and that makes sense with the Va-Va-Voom Shampoo commercial.
Thanks again!
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