Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #69539
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Wrangler Cool Vantage
    No matter what time of year it is,
    hard work comes with a lot of sweat.
    That’s why there’s new Wrangler Cool Vantage jeans.
    They keep you cool by wickin’ sweat five times faster.
    They keep you dry by pullin’ moisture to the outside where it dries faster. They keep you comfortable, so you’re less restricted.
    All day long. New Wrangler Premium Performance Cool Vantage Jeans. The newest innovation in comfort.

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    • #69558
      greta_j
      Participant

      I like this a lot Bil-Bo! Very fitting and convincing read for this product.

  • #69532
    JLivingston
    Participant

    Hello everyone – I’ve been with EdgeStudio for a few months now but I’m new to the forums.
    I’m working towards a narration demo at this point.
    Would be greatly appreciative of any feedback on the files below.

    Also – what is the etiquette for giving others feedback? Would it be inappropriate for me to give any feedback since I’m so new?

    Looking forward to being a part of this community and working with all of you!

    Cheers – Jorge

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    • #69550
      greta_j
      Participant

      Hello Jorge! Great work! Love your tone and range. One thing you could practice is watching for choppiness or unneeded pauses between words or syllables. As to your question, feel free to give feedback on anything, everyone’s advice is valuable 🙂 Best, Greta

  • #69527
    twiegers
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    I would love to get some feedback from you all. Below are the scripts I’ve created with files attached. I know there are some technical difficulties this time around, but I would love feedback more focused on the acting and connection with the script. Let me know what you all think. I’d really appreciate it!

    Lucky Plus Dog – harnesses for dogs

    Handmade dog gear made in small batches. Try our new no-pull harness for your pet. It has adjustable size, a durable nylon buckle, and mesh lining for easy breathing.

    Strayer University

    At Strayer University, we strive for you to get an affordable education that fits your busy schedule. We are designed for the way you live. With our online learning program, you can begin your degree with a new laptop preloaded with Microsoft software. Attend classes from anywhere. Begin your degree today.

    Patagonia Austin- outdoor clothing store

    This is Austin, TX. Mostly every day. Nothing but sunshine. Every. Single. Day. Patagonia Austin has a great selection of gear for climbing, trail running, mountain biking, travel, and the day to day.

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  • #69516
    Don Sack
    Participant

    HEY ALL!
    PICKING UP ON SOME MAJOR SLACK!
    PUTTING THESE TWO OUT FOR YOUR CONSIDERATIONS!
    MORE TO COME AS I AM GIVING MYSELF A SWIFT KICK IN THE REAR!
    THANKS.

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    • #69522
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Don,
      Your voice is so nice to listen to. It has a warm, slightly gravelly, down-to-earth feel. Just a couple things I noticed:
      The “t” and “d” at the end of certain words may not be distinct enough for the listener (such as in “Amstel LighT,” and “functionally you wanT” in the First Bank read).
      You may also want to try different ways of saying the beginning and end of the copy to see if it expresses any other emotions. For instance, in the Amstel Light piece, maybe try a gentle and consoling “Heyy..” or a surly, know-it-all roommate “Hey.” I can tell that you have the ability to bring out the comedy and the flavors of the copy with your voice.
      Good stuff overall. Thank you for posting!

      • #69576
        Don Sack
        Participant

        Hey Nettipo1 !
        Wow, thanks for the feedback! I listened to the spots and you are so right!! Well, that’s what I get for slacking off for almost two months; details like these! A raspy voice is usually not my deal, but that’s what I get for doing these when tired! LOL
        Rock On!

  • #69513
    Cbrown865
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    I recently finished my second coaching session and would love to get some feedback from you all. Heard this was the best place for that! Below are the scripts I’ve chosen from the library with mp3 files attached. Let me know what you all think. I’d greatly appreciate it! Thank you!

    Mercedes – 2014 E Class

    A car that can actually see like a human using stereoscopic cameras and even stop itself if it has to.
    The technology may be hard to imagine but why YOU would want it..is not.
    The 2014 E-class.. it doesn’t just see the future..it IS the future

    Citibank

    I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy. Never spent a lot on clothes.
    So I meet a girl. She doesn’t mind that I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy.
    We decide to get married. Now I need a tuxedo. I go big time.
    I decide not to rent. I buy. It’s worth it. I look great!..Then I get this call. it’s not my best man. Not my mom. Its Citibank. They just wanted to make sure someone else wasn’t using my card. Imagine a T-shirt and jeans guy finding happiness with a girl, a tuxedo and a bank all at the same time. What a year!

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    • #69559
      greta_j
      Participant

      Hi Cbrown865! Nice fresh tone and personality in your reads. I agree, just slow it down and adjust pacing so each phrase and word can be heard in your message. Keep it up!

    • #69519
      Don Sack
      Participant

      Hey Cb!
      Slow it down; enunciate (slowing down will help with that?). Acoustics where you record. Rock On!!

  • #69503
    Sylvanie
    Participant

    Hello All, I am beginner and would appreciate all feedback for my narration homework. It will be very much appreciated. Thank you!

    Aetna/US Healthcare – Script #1

    No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you.

    One Vanderbuilt Observation Deck Audio Simulation (Announcement) Script#2

    Hello, and welcome to the audio simulation of the One Vanderbilt Observation Deck.
    Please adjust your audio volume to a level that best represents my voice at a normal speaking volume to a person standing next to you.
    This will calibrate your headphone level. Please do not adjust your audio volume again over the course of the simulation.

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  • #69497
    Troy C
    Participant

    Hi there! I recorded a couple scripts for my narration lessons. Any feedback is much appreciated!

    Edison and Tesla Biography
    “Obsessed with his work and known to be an exacting boss, Edison had an ego as incandescent as his light bulbs, a sense of his own greatness that was undoubtedly justified. He was also incredibly competitive, willing to do whatever was required to ensure that his idea won out.
    Born in Serbia, Tesla was a different kind of genius. Whereas Edison was an eternal experimenter and tinkerer, Tesla was a human calculator, and his ability to work out complex math and physics equations in his mind helped him achieve early career success in Europe.”

    Inside Halo Infinite
    “Welcome back to the latest edition of Inside Infinite. If you’re a longtime viewer, you know first-hand that this is the place where we sit down with the teams building Halo Infinite, to learn more about them and their processes than we ever have before.
    If you’re just joining us, welcome! We’re glad to have you – but before diving into today, we’d highly recommend checking out previous editions. So far, we’ve had the chance to chat with quite a few teams around 343 Industries, including Graphics, Sandbox, Campaign, Audio, and PC- so be sure to get caught up and hear from them in their own words before we dive into today’s edition of Inside Infinite.”

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    • #69508
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi TroyC,
      You speak with ease, and your reads have a conversational feel to it. I noticed that you read many of the words differently than what was written, added words that were not there, and said some of the key words incorrectly, all of which can throw off the listener…so please be mindful of those things.
      Thanks, and keep on posting!

    • #69500
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey TroyC! Your voice is so silky smooth–two great performances. EXCEPT the volume was pretty low. Otherwise, great job!

  • #69477
    Jayburglar
    Participant

    Still working on my narration. These are 3 scripts that I recorded as homework for my coach.

    BEAVERS:
    The b****r builds its lodge out of intertangled twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.

    DATATECH:
    All of us here at DataPlex welcome you to our website in which we attempt to distill the essence of what we are all about …
    helping our customers improve their use of disparate, complex and ever-changing technologies.In a nutshell, we increase their “tech worth” by evolving,
    integrating or expanding their existing systems and by strategically deploying new, state-of-the-art platforms.

    SUPERMAN MUSEUM:
    Welcome to the Metropolis Superman Museum. Throughout the museum you will find numerous examples of Superman merchandise and memorabilia, illustrating the long and grand history of the world’s most beloved superhero.
    To begin your tour, please proceed to the right.
    Superman began as a series of daily comic strips created by writer Jerry Siegel and artist Joe Shuster. The first adaptation of the comic was a radio drama starring Bud Collyer as Superman.

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    • #69524
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Jay,
      Your voice is very robust, upbeat, and clear! I did notice a slight difference in tone or emotion that you applied to each read, but I still noticed a hint of announcer or sales quality. For instance, when you read the “robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats,” it felt like a description of an array of products, and “state of the art platforms” also ended with a similar inflection. I’m not a coach so hopefully I’m not conflicting with what your coach says, but it seems like for narration, it’s important to see which words are important to emphasize, and focus less on making it sound appealing, so perhaps consider slightly decreasing the “oomph” of the read and settle down into a more factual, person-standing-next-to-you read. If you were actually near the actual beavers in the first read, consider what volume you would need to have without disturbing the animals! I enjoyed all three reads overall, though! Thanks for posting.

    • #69501
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Jay, you have the perfect voice for this genre. On all 3 performances, your voice was crisp and clear. Just perfect! Thank you for sharing.

  • #69457
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! Here is a do-over recording for any and all feedback. I was trying to keep it flowing and not to pause unnecessarily. Let me know if you think I succeeded and or you hear other things to work on. Thank you!

    Mary

    Gertrude Käsebier was an American photographer who was known for her images of motherhood and her portraits of Native Americans; her portraits of the Sioux focused more on the expression and individuality of the person than their costumes and customs. She helped establish the Women’s Professional Photographers Association of America and promoted photography as a career for women.

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    • #69466
      Mary Werntz
      Participant

      Hi Mary! This piece flowed nicely without a lot of those pauses that you’re trying to avoid. The only pause I caught was at the very beginning after “Gertrude Kasebier”. It’s very slight, though, so great job overall.

      • #69506
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Mary! Yes I hear the pause after her name now, not sure why I did that. Thanks for listening!

        Mary

  • #69445
    L.Renee
    Participant

    Hello Fellow Edgers 🙂
    In preparation for my upcoming commercial demo, I need to get in as much practice as possible, with AS MUCH FEEDBACK:-) (See corresponding scripts below)
    I HUMBLY THANK YOU ALL for your support 🙂

    Va-Va-Va-Voom
    Has your hair lost it’s luster? Missing it’s bounce? Need some Va-va-va-voom? Let me tell you about this new shampoo I’ve been using. It’s not like your ordinary, run of the mill, “I share this with my husband” shampoo – no, this one goes beyond the call of duty to tame frizzies, banish split ends and most importantly, it gives you the confidence you need ( and a little bit of va-va-va-voooom! ). Why use your old shampoo when you can experience the power and endurance of Va-Va-Va-Voom shampoo? Call or click for your free sample today.

    MOTIVATION MEDITATION

    I know that you’re scared, and it’s a good thing to be scared.
    Because with that fear, you realise that there is a strange adrenaline rush that takes over you,
    akin to most of the top athletes and singers right before they play and start their performance.
    As you feel scared, you can begin to you know…use this emotion for the better.
    Use the rush, use the adrenaline, use all of this nervous energy.
    You get scared because your mind pictures things not going in your favour, however the mind is creative.
    One of the scenarios it can create, can come from the space of courage.
    It’s all a picture in your head at the end of the day.
    So why don’t you take this opportunity to think of the outcome that you want, the one in which you’ll feel happy, satisfied and excited about this journey that you’re about to take.
    Yes, use all the nervous energy to imagine a level of euphoria unfathomable so far in your life. It’s bright and vivid.
    You put aside the negative images you were seeing with these new, beautiful and breathtaking ones.
    Yes, you can……NOW….BEGIN TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. (like a hypnotic order)

    I am anxiety
    I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?
    Tag: 1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
    Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.

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    • #69509
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi L.Renee,
      Nice reads overall.
      For the Va-va-va-voom read, I think you’ll be able to add more energy to it, and really talk to whoever you chose as the listener (your friend, or your salon client) with a bit more sassiness!
      For the meditation read, be mindful of the pausing in the middle of sentences, or pausing too long at commas. Even though it’s supposed to be a calming read, the pausing prevents it from flowing as well as it could.
      For the anxiety read, be aware of the glottal stops at the start of the sentences (“Oh” and “I am…” and “EVerything…” and “ALways…” ). The announcer tag at the end was free of glottal stops. You can still have that imposing personality in the first part of the read, but without hitting those vowels too much.

    • #69459
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi LRenee, great job! Good variation between the 3 scripts.
      Script 1 – I think this script needs a little more variation in pitch, like more over the top and with more enthusiasm and energy. Your voice is deep and serious and sounded a little flat for this one.
      Script 2 – Really good work! Your voice sounds very well suited for this genre. Good pacing and emphasis on key words throughout
      Script 3 – Also really good! It sounded very authentic and believable. Keep it up!

      Mary

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