Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello! Looking for feedback on some narration scripts I’m playing around with for lessons. I was trying to focus on pacing (was I slow enough? Did I give the script time to breathe?) and articulating my “and”s and “to”s to make it sound crisper. Also played around with Audacity so as far as volume went so hopefully you guys can hear it well enough while simultaneously not having your ears blasted haha. Thanks in advance!
Ohio State Tour Video
“This is the historic Orton Hall.
Built in 1893, it’s like our very own Hogwarts.
It’s home to one of the quietest and oldest libraries on campus, and our own personal dinosaur.
As a Buckeye, you’ll grow to love the sound of Orton’s bells chiming across campus- a chronic 7 minutes off the mark of any clock. ….Relatable.”Clovis Bray AI Lore (from Destiny 2)
“Can we trust an artificial intelligence to make the moral decision? The engineers of Clovis Bray conceived a solution during the development of our Warmind project. By relegating ethical decision-making to a Black Box Morality system, the Warmind instruments its own proprietary virtue quantifiers incomprehensible to even its own creators. The Warmind determines morality on its own terms, and by design we are blind to that process in order to preserve its objectivity.”Air Purifier Tutorial
“To install a new capsule into your air purifier, switch the unit “off.” Then remove the new capsule from it’s protective wrapping. Open the capsule cap by turning in the direction opposite to that indicated by the arrow on the cap. Insert the capsule in the cap until the tabs catch the cap. Insert the complete cap into the air purifier. Turn the cap in the direction of the arrow. And then switch the unit back “on.” Your air purifier will now release a pleasant fragrance during operation. Either choose “repeat” to watch this demonstration again, or it will automatically close.”-
I really enjoyed all three of your reads! You have a warm voice and have a lot of variety and specificity in your delivery. For the Orton copy, the only feedback i’d say is it felt like there was just a bit too much air in between sentences. I’m sure if this was actually part of a guided tour that pause would be necessary but when just listening to it, it breaks the momentum and makes each sentence have to build energy from zero.
For the destiny script, I liked your read a lot! Make sure to really ask that question at the beginning, and maybe try exploring the danger of letting AI determine it’s own morality a little more? Or just get a bit more specific on your point of view.
For the capsule read, it felt as though each word was a bit clipped and detached from the rest of the sentences – i think focusing on the idea an meaning of the sentences as a whole will help to make the read sound a bit more natural while still keeping that professional explainer sound.
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Hello Everyone!
Looking for some specific feedback on these uploads. I’m working on word clarification/diction of key words in the script, vocal inflection and pitch/tone. All feedback is of course always welcome. I am going through some of the uploads here and for the most part you all are sounding great. I’ll be dropping some feedback on some recent uploads myself.Many Thanks,
Ndehru-
Hi DAYLIGHTVO, I enjoyed both recordings….the Straight Talk script sounded more natural than the NASDAQ. For the NASDAQ, I kind of noticed a bit of a pattern where you would couple together two syllables or words together so that the first word is fast and doesn’t get noticed as much, while the second word is more emphasized. For example, “We-ALL,” “to-PLAY,” “and-FROM,” “a MARKet”. For the Straight Talk script, I liked the energy of it, but you might want to consider emphasizing the words with a little bit more smile, rather than with too much of a staccato/insistent tone. I look forward to hearing more from you!
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Hi guys!
Here is my take on the Edge script Gargoyles , I will appreciate your comments thanksOne thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled.It was a time of darkness. It was a world of fear. It was the age of gargoyles. Stone by day, warriors by night . We were betrayed by the humans we had sworn to protect, frozen in stone by a magic spell for a thousand years. Now , here in manhattan..the spell is broken. And we live again! We are defenders of the night.We are Gargoyles.
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Hi Mtripo9,
I enjoyed this read. The sounds quality is solid. I noticed some things you could tweak. I would suggest pausing in the first sentence after ago. Also maybe differentiate a bit more in the fourth sentence. I enjoyed the tone and character. Also the pacing was spot on. Overall good job.
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please comment on my read for Shopify:
Grow your sales organically without compromising stellar customer service.
Increase your average order value with Plus One, an easy-to-use plug-in that installs seamlessly into your Shopify account in under 2 minutes.
Plus One recommends similar products that complement their cart or offer best-value items before checkout.
Like how you go to your favorite café and order coffee but it’s better with a chocolate croissant.
That’s an easy addition and you just boosted your ticket.-
Hi artyom123 – Your delivery has a clear, friendly and helpful tone. I think it could sound maybe a little bit more natural. Consider varying the pacing, which is what would happen if you were telling this to a coworker in everyday life (just an example). I would also consider which words you are emphasizing over other words. “Increase” might be a good word to emphasize more, and “under” might be more important to emphasize than “2 minutes.” Nice job, look forward to hearing more from you.
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would like feedback on following read based on sounding like a everyday person and emotional connection to script.
Did you know that with a simple majority vote, our City Council could ban natural gas and even hydroelectric power in Spokane? Think about what that would mean to you, your family, your home, your energy rates and your finances. And if you’re still not convinced that it’s the worst idea in the history of…well, ideas, visit avistaemployeepac.com. Then protect Spokane’s clean, abundant energy resources by voting YES on Proposition 1. Sponsored by…
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I think you do a fantastic job of sounding natural and approachable, you definitely sound like you’re connecting to your reader. My piece of feedback would be that especially in first half the pitch and cadence of you sentences all sound very similar, starting high and ending low, pretty much on the same pitch. When you ask all those questions with the same pitch it can be hard to really take in how those questions are different. So you? Your family? etc.? see if you can find specificity for each one.
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Jeep. No limits. (TV audio)
The thing about freedom is…freedom has no limits.
There’s no such thing as too many adventures.
Or, too many unforgettable moments.
There’ll never be too many stories to write…or too
many memories to make. But when it comes to a
vehicle that will be there for it all…there’s only one.
Jeep.-
Hi Bil-Bo – your voice has such down-home charm and pluckiness. I think at this point, you might want to experiment with different emotions, taking into account how the advertising folks might want the message to come across…For instance, with the Jeep read, maybe try something that has an aspirational tone or adventurous spirit. Maybe read it as if you were a wilderness guide. I would also be interested in hearing your recordings without music (I’m told that casting folks don’t necessarily like to hear auditions with music). I still end up smiling when I hear your recordings. Good job!
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This isn’t a comment on your reads so much as a comment on sound quality: I know this is “just” homework, but the acoustics sound a bit like you’re recording in a tin can in the next room. If you’re going to be recording yourself for work, you will want a bit more “present” sound quality.
As far as your reads: the Purina ad is very good. Nice contrast on “good news”/”great news”. In my opinion, “your canary will thank you for it” could use a little more pitch variation.
The Carnation ad is also very good; very professional sounding, with natural-sounding expressiveness. At the tag line, “because today could change everything,” it sounds a bit like you hit the bottom of your vocal range, so the word “everything” is on a fry that sounds almost whispered. You might want that to come out a little more, so as to be the same volume level as the rest of your (quite good) read.
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Here’s the text as well:
Relaxation:
To begin, make yourself comfortable…it’s best to lie on your back. Put your arms by your sides, not touching your body. Put your feet slightly apart. With each exhalation…let all the tension out of your body. Let the tension just dissolve…and flow out.Psalm 29:11:
The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11. Dear G*d, I seek Your presence in my heart. Please help me to believe in You throughout every season. Allow me to trust in You during the storms. Allow me to lean on You when I am not satisfied with how my day went. Please help me to seek comfort in You so that I can keep my eyes focused on the good. Allow my thoughts to be full of grace for every blessing that You have placed into my life. Lift me with Your righteous hand and keep me faithful in Your Word from morning until night. Amen.American Express:
Thank you for holding. Did you know that you can now receive your American Express statement completely online. No more paper bills! We’ll even send you an e-mail reminder when your statement is ready for viewing. To see if you can take advantage of this free service; log on to americanexpress.com/paperless. Or ask your representative.711:
So it’s 2:00 in the morning…and you’re starving. Nothin’ in the fridge, and nothin’ in the cupboards. You don’t even have dog biscuits hangin’ around. You think about cooking…but then you remember the 3-alarm fire you started, last time you tried using the stove. Well, check out 7-11! There’s gotta be one right near ya’. They have everything from burgers to tacos…24 hours a day…7 days a week. 7-11. Think of it as your own personal walk-in kitchen.
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Hi all. Uploading my homework assignment from coaching session number 2 for critique. Primarily focusing on emphasizing the right words and avoiding glottal stops. But I’m certainly open to any and all feedback. Thank you all in advance.
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Fish Boil
Even people who don’t like fish, have been known to like this fish. That’s why a fish boil is a must-do experience when you visit Door County. It all starts with a blazing bonfire under a kettle of salted water. People circle around to warm themselves and take in the crisp smell. When the temperature is just right and the crackle of the fire is just loud enough, the boil master adds a basket of potatoes and onions to the kettle. A few crackles later, the mild whitefish steaks, fresh from Lake Michigan, are delicately lowered in. At just the right moment, kerosene is tossed into the fire, exciting the blaze and causing the water to boil over, dramatically carrying off the fish oil that has collected on top. The fish are pulled out and greeted with a generous drizzling of butter. Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
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Liquiband Flow
Developed with the input of clinicians across the globe, Liquiband Flow Control’s innovative design insures precise adhesive placement. The winged applicator packaging facilitates safe and easy activation, along with accuracy and control.
Liquiband Flow Control can be applied in 3 simple steps:
Step 1: While holding the container upright, squeeze the applicator wings until a cracking sound is heard.
Step 2: Ensure that the wound is thoroughly clean and dry prior to closure. Invert the tip and gently squeeze the wings to prime the device. When the tip turns violet, Liquiband Flow Control is ready to use.
Step 3: While holding the wound edges together, apply an even coat of Liquiband over the length of the wound, and continue to hold the wound edges together for 30 seconds.-
Meditation
Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine. With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of eight. Repeat three to six times.
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Hi Chris. I enjoyed your submissions–especially the “fish boil.” Your presentation really painted the picture of the sounds and smells of the experience!
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I really enjoyed your performances! Your voice is butter smooth and easy to listen to. Your intonations were natural conversations. And the meditation, was so very good. I can’t believe you’ve just has 2 coaching sessions, you’re one quick study! There’s a future in VO for you! Nice job!
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