Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi all. Just dropping 2 more bits of commercial homework. Would love some feedback. Thanks!
Jimmy Deans TV Spot – Food and Beverage
Make any morning of the week feel like the weekend with the Jimmy Deans simple scrambles breakfast cup. Eggs, sausage, bacon n’ cheese all included in one simple cup.The Zebra – Car Insurance
Wendel lives in a bounce house. But he doesn’t wanna bounce around the internet to save on car insurance. So he uses the Zebra app to compare the top companies. Save an average of $440 on car insurance. Compare and save at TheZebra.com -
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Hi Community – adding some sample recordings, please provide feedback.
Secret –
Fresh & Aluminum Free. Sevret Aluminum Free helps ELIMINATE ODOR. Secret believes odor should be one less thing to sweat! Our ALUMINUM FREE formula helps ELIMINATE ODOR instead of just masking it with 3X MORE ODOR FIGHTERS And it’s FREE OF parabens, dyes and talc.Things We’re Talking About This Week – from a magazine
Everything bagel ice cream challenges taste buds – Jeni’s Splendid revealed a breakfast-inspired new flavor featuring garlic and onions with sesame and poppy seeds in cream cheese ice cream.Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade’s Shady Baby gets her own book – The couple wrote a children’s book featuring their little Instagram star, 2-year-old daughter Kaavia James – aka the adorably opinionated Shady Baby.
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My last three homework assignments, feedback would be much appreciated!
American Lung Assocation
For a kid with asthma, the joys of childhood quickly become living nightmares. A playful kitten, a cuddly puppy, a bouquet of flowers, all are potential triggers for terrifying attacks. Don’t let Asthma rob another childhood. Call 1800 Lung, USA. The American Lung Association.Lexus
This is not a time for business as usual.
Unless your business as usual has always been about putting people first.
Find out how your Lexus dealer can service your individual needs.BASF
At BASF, we don’t make the cooler, we make it cooler. We don’t make the jeans, we make them bluer. We don’t make the toys, we make them tougher. At BASF, we don’t make a lot of the products you buy. We make a lot of the products you buy better. BASF. -
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Hey everybody,
I just started my training and I would like feedback on a few scripts that I used for practice. I appreciate any feedback you all can give me on what I can do to improve my style.
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Really enjoyed your Rattlesnake clip! Great narration, good energy and emotion. Pace is engaging too, enjoyable to listen to!
The one thing that stood out to me is the pronunciation of your “t’s” There are a couple of words with the “t” sound that are nice and crisp and sharp. For some words it probably makes sense not to annunciate that sound so much judging for formal vs informal. However, the nice crisp “t” sound was great in the couple places you had it and I am wondering if you can bring that more into the rest of your clip?
Great narration overall! -
I thought that you had a good “reading tone”, but not necessarily a conversational tone. But you were clear and articulate and didn’t stumble over your words.
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Listened to your Charlie Chaplin clip a few times. It is really good! Sounds professional and clean in a lot of ways!
I noticed a few areas where as you went along the pacing and energy seemed to flag a bit. Also clearly pronouncing the “t” sound for certain words.For the Hershey clip:
Volume was consistent throughout. Tone was good overall, could have a little more enthusiasm and emotion. Your starts are strong and impressive. You seem to loose a little steam and sorta settle into a more toned down version as you go along. Also watch out for which words your are emphasizing in the script. Make sure you are getting your message across.The creativity clip is great! I can definitely sense your enthusiasm for the subject and that carries throughout the clip. There is a spark and vibrancy in this clip that is not quite there in the other ones. What I noticed in this clip was that some of your pauses between words/phrases seemed a touch too long.
Great stuff overall! Your voice has some really nice qualities to it and is pleasant and approachable sounding.
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Good Morning/Evening!
I am replying to the forum thread here for homework purposes, from my instructor.
It is here that I post a couple of recordings. No specific ‘themes’ with this one, just advertisement commercials.
Feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated! I’m more than eager to learn, so criticize me where it hurts, lol.
(Hopefully I did a decent job in hiding the fan; it’s a hot night/day, and thus makes my studio hotter…)
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For Feel the Clarity:
Great emotion and energy, you sound upbeat and enthusiastic! Your pace is a little breathless and headlong however. You have confidence, but you’re rushing it. Take time to slow down and let your words have an impact. Imagine that this is for a commercial and you need to give your viewer and listener time to process all the great things you are saying. Give a little more time and spacing to let your message land and have that impact! Off to a great start though 🙂For Video-Game:
Good energy and emotion! Here I would say, watch where you are placing emphasis and which words you are highlighting. Are they the words you want to emphasize for your message? For example in the last sentence, maybe the word you want to emphasize is “learning” instead of “today” at the end of the sentence.I didn’t notice any noises of a fan 🙂
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Thank you for your feedback!
Yes, you’re right in regards to both recordings. I was so focused on hitting the targeted time that I forgot about actually letting the script (or, myself) breathe. Next time I’ll relax a bit more.
As for the 2nd one, I will definitely take your advice to heart. I must’ve lost focus to what the commercial was aimed at.
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Couple auditions. making sure I am on the right track. Any comments are much appreciated. Theses are in the 25-35 second range.
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