Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,021 replies, 716 voices, and was last updated 3 days ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
Replies
-
My last three homework assignments, feedback would be much appreciated!
American Lung Assocation
For a kid with asthma, the joys of childhood quickly become living nightmares. A playful kitten, a cuddly puppy, a bouquet of flowers, all are potential triggers for terrifying attacks. Don’t let Asthma rob another childhood. Call 1800 Lung, USA. The American Lung Association.Lexus
This is not a time for business as usual.
Unless your business as usual has always been about putting people first.
Find out how your Lexus dealer can service your individual needs.BASF
At BASF, we don’t make the cooler, we make it cooler. We don’t make the jeans, we make them bluer. We don’t make the toys, we make them tougher. At BASF, we don’t make a lot of the products you buy. We make a lot of the products you buy better. BASF. -
-
Hey everybody,
I just started my training and I would like feedback on a few scripts that I used for practice. I appreciate any feedback you all can give me on what I can do to improve my style.
-
-
-
Really enjoyed your Rattlesnake clip! Great narration, good energy and emotion. Pace is engaging too, enjoyable to listen to!
The one thing that stood out to me is the pronunciation of your “t’s” There are a couple of words with the “t” sound that are nice and crisp and sharp. For some words it probably makes sense not to annunciate that sound so much judging for formal vs informal. However, the nice crisp “t” sound was great in the couple places you had it and I am wondering if you can bring that more into the rest of your clip?
Great narration overall! -
I thought that you had a good “reading tone”, but not necessarily a conversational tone. But you were clear and articulate and didn’t stumble over your words.
-
-
-
-
Listened to your Charlie Chaplin clip a few times. It is really good! Sounds professional and clean in a lot of ways!
I noticed a few areas where as you went along the pacing and energy seemed to flag a bit. Also clearly pronouncing the “t” sound for certain words.For the Hershey clip:
Volume was consistent throughout. Tone was good overall, could have a little more enthusiasm and emotion. Your starts are strong and impressive. You seem to loose a little steam and sorta settle into a more toned down version as you go along. Also watch out for which words your are emphasizing in the script. Make sure you are getting your message across.The creativity clip is great! I can definitely sense your enthusiasm for the subject and that carries throughout the clip. There is a spark and vibrancy in this clip that is not quite there in the other ones. What I noticed in this clip was that some of your pauses between words/phrases seemed a touch too long.
Great stuff overall! Your voice has some really nice qualities to it and is pleasant and approachable sounding.
-
-
Good Morning/Evening!
I am replying to the forum thread here for homework purposes, from my instructor.
It is here that I post a couple of recordings. No specific ‘themes’ with this one, just advertisement commercials.
Feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated! I’m more than eager to learn, so criticize me where it hurts, lol.
(Hopefully I did a decent job in hiding the fan; it’s a hot night/day, and thus makes my studio hotter…)
-
For Feel the Clarity:
Great emotion and energy, you sound upbeat and enthusiastic! Your pace is a little breathless and headlong however. You have confidence, but you’re rushing it. Take time to slow down and let your words have an impact. Imagine that this is for a commercial and you need to give your viewer and listener time to process all the great things you are saying. Give a little more time and spacing to let your message land and have that impact! Off to a great start though 🙂For Video-Game:
Good energy and emotion! Here I would say, watch where you are placing emphasis and which words you are highlighting. Are they the words you want to emphasize for your message? For example in the last sentence, maybe the word you want to emphasize is “learning” instead of “today” at the end of the sentence.I didn’t notice any noises of a fan 🙂
-
Thank you for your feedback!
Yes, you’re right in regards to both recordings. I was so focused on hitting the targeted time that I forgot about actually letting the script (or, myself) breathe. Next time I’ll relax a bit more.
As for the 2nd one, I will definitely take your advice to heart. I must’ve lost focus to what the commercial was aimed at.
-
-
-
Couple auditions. making sure I am on the right track. Any comments are much appreciated. Theses are in the 25-35 second range.
-
-
-
Hello Forum! Posting my most recent homework here, focusing on the eLearning genre and emphasizing the right words. Thanks for any feedback you provide.
—Script 1—
This lesson dedicated to snare drum rudiments introduces the Flams: Flam Accent, Flam Paradiddle, Flamacue and Flam Tap.
The Flam, in musical theory and writing, doesn’t have a definite value; it can be described as a double stroke made by a first-hand weak stroke closely followed by an accented, stronger second-hand stroke. It’s a grace note, represented in drum charts by a smaller note with a tie put just before the principal note. For a correct execution of a Flam, the stick that plays the weaker stroke starts from about one inch from the drumhead, and the stick that plays the principal stroke starts from a superior height.In the exercises of the drum sheet you should play regular figures alternating the right and the left hand, and once you have mastered them, try to insert flams in your free improvisations.
—Script 2—
Commonly summarized as “ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny” (on-TA-jeh-nee re-cah-PIT-you-lates fill-AH-jeh-nee), biogenetic law posits that the embryonic stages in the development of an individual (its ontogeny) repeat the evolutionary history of its ancestors (its phylogeny). A corollary of the biogenetic law is the idea that new evolutionary features are typically added at the end of development, with formerly adult, or “terminal” stages gradually being compressed into progressively earlier stages (or sometimes being eliminated outright).-
Thank you for posting! You have a really nice, soothing voice. But, I would say to perhaps allow your reads to either breath a little more or a little less because I could feel you running a bit out of breath, especially in the Flams read, since it was a tongue-twister. But, I really appreciated how you would change your tone for your audience. And you have really good pronunciation! Great work!
-
-
Hello everyone! This is my first time posting here and I would really appreciate some feedback on my narration script recordings. Thank you!
-
Welcome to the Forum! Thanks for posting. You have a nice voice. Across the three recordings, I few things I noticed include some breath noises and some unnatural breaks in the sentences. For example, from the Travel-Travelogues recording: “Offering the latest / and greatest…” Not seeing the script, it’s possible the scriptwriter wanted a break there?
You were able to switch your tone for your audience which was really nice.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
