Feedback Forum

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

Viewing 3,148 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #70235
    mrtripo9
    Participant

    Hi guys pls help critic my work. Thanks 🙂
    1.Coors beer
    Up here in the mountains … we love Coors Beer.
    2.Aetna Insurance.
    Compassion and trust … qualities you can expect from Aetna Insurance.
    3.Toyota
    The 200 horsepower, very stylish Camry, with an interior like you’ve never seen before. Only from Toyota.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70261
      JM Saunders
      Participant

      You have a wonderfully deep voice. As another reviewer mentioned, you may want to work on a more conversational tone. Also, work with your home studio a little to see if you can cut out some of the echoing of your voice, sounds like you’re talking in a big cavernous space/room.

    • #70245
      Lilbelle1487
      Participant

      Hey there, First off great job for jumping in and putting yourself out there to be critiqued.
      I heard an accent that is great, but it seems to be disrupting the pronunciation of certain words like Toyota.
      The Mp3s themselves sound very boomie. You might want to come away from the mic a bit. I also thought it sounded read and not conversational. Hope this is helpful and all the best to you.

  • #70219
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Campbell’s Home Cookin’ :30

    What do Campbell’s kids eat when they’re not kids anymore? Introducing new Chicken and Pasta with Roasted Garlic from Campbell’s. Imagine perfectly diced chicken simmered in rich chicken broth and seasoned with robust notes of roasted garlic ….all brimming with crisp garden celery, fresh carrots, and deliciously plump penne and rotini. Home Cookin’ Soup that’s a lot more seasoned. But then….so are you. Home Cookin’ Campbell’s. Good for the body. Good for the Soul.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70256
      Notetaker32
      Participant

      Beautiful read! I love it. Some of your ending sounds get dropped a little; I especially noticed the “c” in garlic and “l” in soul. Keep up the great work!

    • #70246
      Lilbelle1487
      Participant

      I absolutely love this read! Great job!

    • #70239
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      hey bil,that sounds neat, i cant find any flaws..its ready for radio..great job.,the instrument was spot on!

  • #70214
    ryanp.bogie
    Participant

    Hello everyone,

    Here is my homework for my next session. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you all!

    -Ryan

    Bose Home Theatre Systems
    Bose home theater systems customize their sound to fit your room.
    Choosing anything less just doesn’t make sense.
    BOSE … better sound through research.

    Iphone 4 ad
    It’s the end of the day. And you missed it. Where did those hours go? Get in the driver’s seat and capture your life with the iPhone 4s – the fastest, most powerful smartphone on the market. Voice activation, video, and much more. In stores now.

    No!
    Kids hate the word no. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70255
      Notetaker32
      Participant

      Hi, Ryan!

      Nice reads. For the iPhone ad, I’d recommend being careful that some of your sentences/statements ending with an up inflection. I’d also eliminate the break between “fastest” and “most powerful”. Overall it has such a nice fluid feel.

      Loved the energy in the No! ad. You did a great job increasing the feeling of the no in the first list. Careful to read as scripted: “no you may not paint the cat” instead of “no you can’t paint the cat”.

      Great work!

    • #70240
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      Hey Ryan love yr character role on the six flag, love it!
      For the Bose take, I believe Bose is pronounced Boz!or one salable word without the e
      Overall great work!

  • #70209
    Notetaker32
    Participant

    Hey, Everyone! Just at the beginning of an exciting VO adventure. I’ve been working on some of the basics, and would love your feedback. Please pardon any poor audio quality.

    Thanks for your time and ear!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #70205
    Mary Werntz
    Participant

    Hi there! I’ve created this recording as if it were an audition with a slate and two reads. I imagined that the instructions were “friendly neighbor, slightly sarcastic”. I’d love feedback on the tone and variety of the two takes. Thank you!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70254
      Notetaker32
      Participant

      Hey, Mary! I prefer the first read—much smoother and has less of an edge to the sarcasm. The second read had a couple of pauses between words that were probably just breaths but seemed a little too long. Great work!

    • #70218
      AyalC93
      Participant

      Hi Mary,

      I definitely enjoyed the first read a lot better. I could picture it in an ad easier and the sarcasm felt more playful than the second. I’d probably suggest slowing it down a smidge but honestly that’s about it. Great job!

  • #70202
    AyalC93
    Participant

    Hi everyone! I’m back for my commercial training and learning the differences between it and Narration. This is my first homework for it so please do lend me your ears and feedback. Thanks!

    Script
    Nintendo Switch TV Spot – “Our Way to Play: Teamwork”
    After soccer practice, the fun and games continue. Lauren’s the goalie. She grabs every green star. Teagans on defense, there to protect the team. Paige is the star striker. You can count on her to take the shot. Then there’s me. Well, I just like playing games with my friends! Teamwork. That’s our way to play.

    I personally think my tempo might be too quick and I probably could’ve treated the character names more like “Lists” in terms of emphasis/tone shifts for variety. But I didn’t want to overthink it and see if anyone else agrees. Again thanks!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70262
      JM Saunders
      Participant

      I think your tempo was right on the money. I do like your idea of working with the player names to vary them a little. I would also be more clear when you say the word “teamwork” since that’s such a natural change to introduce the end of the script.

      • #70269
        AyalC93
        Participant

        Noted! Listening back to it I see what you mean. Thank you!

  • #70193
    greta_j
    Participant

    Hey folks! Looking for feedback on my read (not audio). Do I exude my inner athlete? Do I make you want to buy some new Nike gear and get fit? Thanks! /Greta

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70200
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Greta, You have a lovely voice. The beginning of the performance suggests that you’re building excitement, but your tone stays the same. I think if you increase your pitch by a half step per phase, I’d probably search the Nike website for some of their great gear! Still a nice job!

      • #70204
        greta_j
        Participant

        Super advice! Thanks suecat!

  • #70186
    artyom123
    Participant

    Please give me your opinion on my pacing, and connection to these scripts:

    Script 1:
    Let’s take a look behind the scenes at some of the ways we strive to be the safest place to work while we fulfil your order.
    From the start of a package’s journey, we use a range of specialized equipment to safely enhance our operations.
    Packages enter our buildings through loading docks. To make these critical areas safer, our team created automated, digital cockpits to track trailers. Before anyone approaches to start unloading, we ensure they are properly docked and stationary

    Script 2:
    Operating efficiently in today’s global economy requires greater transparency and visibility than ever before.

    And the old linear supply chain simply isn’t keeping up.

    At TrackX, we provide enterprise scalable solutions to deliver better tracing, tracking and visibility throughout global supply chains.

    The TrackX platform captures real-time event-driven data leading companies trust to identify inefficiencies, prove sustainability, and satisfy ESG requirements.

    TrackX – Revolutionizing the Supply Chain for a More Sustainable World

    Find out more at TrackX.com

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #70175
    John Trape
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    I am attaching three narration scripts and would welcome any and all feedback.

    Regards,

    John

    1. Emily Dickinson loved words ardently. Her feeling about them amounted to veneration and her selection of them was ritualistic. In one poem she states “A word that breathes distinctly has not the power to die”. As an artist, she conceived of brevity, not as a way to sketch in miniature, but as a means of achieving the single moment of intensity. Dickinson knew she could not pierce through to the unknowable, but she insisted on asking the questions.

    2. By mid-1940, the German Army had conquered all of western Europe and H****r began to tighten the noose around Britain. In the Atlantic, German U-boats were decimating Allied convoys, threatening to cut off Britain’s only lifeline. But Churchill had an unusual secret weapon: crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British. They were recruited with one common aim: to unlock the secrets of Enigma, a machine that concealed Germany’s war plans in a seemingly unbreakable code. If Enigma could be penetrated, everything H****r plotted could be known in advance. At Bletchley Park, there unfolded one of the most astonishing exploits of the Second World War.

    3. Thank you for calling Franklin Investments. Our offices are currently closed. Our telephone service business hours are Monday through Friday, from 5.30 am until 5:00 PM Pacific Time. However, you may access fund prices and account information via the Internet at franklin.com or if you are calling from a touch-tone telephone you may press 1 now and you will be connected to our automated fax system. If you would like to leave a message, please press 2 now. Thank you again for calling Franklin investments.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70185
      Zhenee
      Participant

      Wow, what a lovely voice you have. Your voice sounds perfect for audiobooks since it’s very warm and nostalgic. My only criticism would be for the last read for Franklin Investments. Unlike an audiobook, you don’t really want long pauses on a recorded message. You had a tendency to drag out your vowels during this read, if you shortened your vowels a bit I think this read would be perfect.

      • #70192
        John Trape
        Participant

        Hi Zhenee,

        Thank you very much for your constructive feedback, and especially for the advice about long pauses on a recorded message. Dealing with pauses, generally, is an area to which I certainly need to pay particular attention.

        Thank you again and kind regards,

        John

  • #70171
    [email protected]
    Participant

    Hi! Your feedback is much appreciated..!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #70183
      Zhenee
      Participant

      I think you spoke very clearly. I’m assuming that this read was for a commercial, my suggestion to you would be to go over your script and highlight the words you actually want to put emphasis on. At the beginning of the read, it almost sounded like you were doing a monologue for a character. The tone was very conversational . There are commercials where you may want to be conversational, but others where you want to build the listeners intrigue in the product you’re selling. Marking the words you want to hit will help you monitor your tone. You want to hit keywords like “born”, “quick”, “adapt”, “respond”. Slowing down the read a bit would help the listener recognize those keywords too.

      • This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Zhenee.
      • #71000
        [email protected]
        Participant

        Thank you so much, your feedback was very helpful to me! 🙂

Viewing 3,148 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.