Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
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CreatorTopic
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September 14, 2021 at 12:22 pm #70723
spiceagent11
Participantwhat is your PhotoFiltre version ?
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September 13, 2021 at 12:44 pm #70706
Evette75
ParticipantHi group, adding a few new reads – appreciate your feedback.
People Everyday Podcast
A new podcast covering the most talked – about entertainment news of the day, plus exclusive interviews, features and inspiring stories about real people.
The Podcast for People in the Know. Listen on the Iheart radio app.Tazo Classic Chai Latte
Our delicious, make-at-home chai latte mix features the boldest black teas blended with cinnamon, cardamom, g****r, and black pepper. Just add whatever milk you’re into right now, stir, and indulge on your stoop. Or bed. Whichever one’s closer. Channel Your Inner Barista…Attachments:
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September 16, 2021 at 6:29 pm #70785
John Trape
ParticipantHi Evette,
Thoroughly enjoyed listening to your three reads. Agree with DLeeVO’s feedback and found your voice engaging and sincere. No suggestion for me of a script being read. Rather, I felt that you were talking from the heart to the listener or viewer. And I, too, liked Tazo (take 2) in particular.
Regards,
John
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September 14, 2021 at 6:43 pm #70727
DLeeVO
ParticipantHi Yvette. Yours is such a sweet, delicate voice. I have to turn up my headphones to hear you; is that just my set up?? I’ll say maybe check the length of pause between day, plus in People. And, maybe give Tazo (i like take 2) a bit more umph/yum. nice work!
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September 13, 2021 at 8:56 am #70701
John Trape
ParticipantHi everyone,
I would very much appreciate any and all feedback on the recordings of these three commercial scripts:
Regards,
John
Grilling
The charcoal crowd swears their method imparts a magical flavor…and they’re right, but they’re wrong about where it comes from: It’s not actually from the briquettes themselves. Shocking, right? So instead of paying top dollar on the inferior, stick to what you know is a classic. Royal Oak Ridge, hotly contested…simply, the best.Intuition
Now there’s a solution to the soap-opera of shaving. Introducing Intuition. The only all-in-one razor that lathers and shaves in one easy step. You’ll never need shave gel, soap or body wash again, because Intuition’s triple blades are surrounded by a unique Skin Conditioning Solid. With just water, it smooths and soothes to give you soft, touchable skin with every shave. Shaving’s never been so simple.Sales Presentation
You don’t realize it yet, but in the next 8 minutes you’ll be getting the secret of how to stop money-worries for the rest of your life.
If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea & a tiny, tiny trading account… and then… explode it MULTIPLE times over… this is going to be the most interesting letter you will ever read.
Here’s why:
I’m going to reveal how you can QUICKLY download and set up a Forex trading system that makes you tons of money (I’m talking 5…6… and even 7-figure money)… 24/7… even while you’re playing golf, vacationing, or sleeping… If that excites you- I know you’ll find this letter to be EXTREMELY valuable… “Because I’m going to show you what took me 6 years to perfect — a PROVEN “Battlefield-Tested” system for profiting from the BEST financial market in the World!”Attachments:
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September 16, 2021 at 3:05 pm #70777
Troy C
ParticipantHi John!
First of all, fantastic voice!I could listen to you narrate just about anything.
What I wanted to add in addition to the other’s feedback, is to really pace yourself with the third reading. The way the script is written, it has a lot of ellipses and pauses built into it. Use those areas to slow down or take a breath! Scripts like these are honestly nice because it lets you know when you can take a pause rather than leaving it up to your discretion. And the employer likely wants a pause or lingering moment if they wrote it that way. Same thing goes for the words written in all caps- really emphasize those words! The employer must see importance in those if they elected to fully capitalize them.
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September 15, 2021 at 2:32 am #70737
Shmuel
ParticipantHi John,
The reads sound like you are reading the words, not saying the message. There is a sing-song about your read which is the same sing-song with everything you say. “Magical” should be quite different from the other words, for example.
Intuition – “soap or body wash” sounded like “soapoh buddy wash”-
September 16, 2021 at 1:12 pm #70773
John Trape
ParticipantHi Shmuel,
Yes, you are quite right. I really have to concentrate on making these reads conversational, more natural, and less rigid. Thank you very much for your feedback.
Regards,
John
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September 14, 2021 at 6:35 pm #70726
DLeeVO
ParticipantHi John. Agreed, smooth, easy to listen to reads! I found myself halted a few times, maybe at “simply, the best” in Royal Oak, and in Intuition at “smooths and soothes”. Quite pleasant though,nice work!
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September 16, 2021 at 1:06 pm #70772
John Trape
ParticipantHi DLeeVO,
Yes, the pauses, I know. I went over these scripts that evening with my coach and worked to try and eliminate these. Thank you very much for your comments.
Regards,
John
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September 13, 2021 at 12:50 pm #70710
Evette75
ParticipantHi John, its the accent for me – makes anything sound wonderful. Seriously, I like your delivery and tone. Each read presented a different angle and affect for what you were selling. Of the three, I liked the Royal Oak the best – seemed genuine and matter of fact-ish. Nice job on all three.
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September 13, 2021 at 2:54 pm #70712
John Trape
ParticipantHi Evette,
Thank you very much for your feedback. It is much appreciated. I find commercials challenging, to put it mildly, so I am trying to get the right tone, pitch, and cadence. I did feel more relaxed with the Royal Oak one, so I am grateful for your observations there.
Regards,
John
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September 12, 2021 at 11:04 am #70689
smith_voice
ParticipantGreetings- My most recent homework for Art. Any comments/criticisms are welcome.
Thanks, Chris
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September 14, 2021 at 10:50 am #70720
Don Sack
ParticipantHey Chris!
Yup, I bet Art is going to emphasize that you slow down. I have that problem as well and one really needs to be mindful of that; for some reason, getting in front of a mike flips on the “faster” switch. Perhaps too, differentiate lists of items? A pop filter may also be a good addition.
Great voice guy!
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September 12, 2021 at 2:28 pm #70695
suecat
ParticipantHey Chris,
I liked your upbeat, trustworthy style. I found it conversational and easy to listen to. Just one small thing, your tempo, just a tad too fast. Maybe because I’m from a small, lazy town, I had trouble keeping up with you — but I could play it back. Overall, fantastic job!
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September 11, 2021 at 10:08 pm #70683
suecat
ParticipantHey Community, I’m here again hoping you’ll be so gracious and kind and critique my readings. I am preparing for my commercial demo and I need all the help I can get. Thank you all for taking time to listen and make comments.
Aetna/US Healthcare
No matter where we live–when it comes to something as important as health care–we all want the best. That’s why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for youMailboxes Etcetera
Everybody can use a little help when they’re out on the road- and that’s where MailBoxes Etcetera comes in. We get it done, and we get it done right. Mailboxes Etcetera.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
suecat.
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September 25, 2021 at 11:27 am #70935
Sylvanie
ParticipantNice read SueCat. The Mailboxes read, you can slow down just a tad bit..it was almost like a run-on sentence. Overall nice job.
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September 13, 2021 at 1:17 pm #70711
Evette75
ParticipantNice job, SueCat. You have a calming, granny voice ( hope that’s not offensive). Like when you’re sick and grandma is there to make everything all better. I do feel the Aetna read was a little rushed – sounded like every word was running together.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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September 11, 2021 at 1:24 pm #70673
TimberTykes
ParticipantGood Afternoon!
Uploading a couple more of my recordings in hopes of feedback and critique.
Thank you for your time! It is much appreciated.
Attachments:
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September 10, 2021 at 4:34 pm #70662
rogue1
ParticipantHappy Friday, everyone! Took some welcome advise from Nettipo1 and upped the tempo on my “Disaffected” read. Again, the “Upbeat” and original “Disaffected” reads are posted for comparison. All comments welcome, my thanks for taking the time to listen!
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September 10, 2021 at 10:13 pm #70669
suecat
ParticipantRogue1, the upbeat, sounds exciting and playful, like you really enjoy Jimmy Johns. The disaffected, is so perfect! You sound laid back and aloof! Well done!
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September 10, 2021 at 5:44 pm #70668
salmaperez001
ParticipantYou have a really nice, soothing voice. I can definitely hear a huge difference from the original Disaffected reads to the Upbeat one. Not only is the pacing much better, which allows the read to feel more natural. But also, you’re able to sort of switch tonalities much better. It sounds much more conversational and it almost feels like you’re bringing so much more life to the piece.
I could hear a bit more of vocal fry in the original, slower reads. While in the upbeat version, the breathing felt much more, again natural. And it felt more inviting as well. But at the same time, there was still this balanced sense between professionalism and conversational qualities. Great job!-
September 16, 2021 at 9:23 am #70770
rogue1
ParticipantThank you, salmaperez001! Appreciate your insightful feedback and am glad you hear the (upbeat) read as more natural/conversation—-certainly something I always strive for! And I agree that the “disaffected” read sounds a bit more labored and less natural/flowing. Again, thank you for taking the time to listen and weigh in with your thoughts!
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September 10, 2021 at 3:11 pm #70652
Ksmack
ParticipantHello everyone,
Homework assignment # 1 for Art Bruder. Please feel free to listen and critique. Thank
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September 10, 2021 at 4:50 pm #70666
rogue1
ParticipantHello Ksmack, Love the wry quality of your voice, it’s very real and inviting—-and well-suited for this narration. I agree with JustJohn that it seems like you’re speeding through the read. As the subject matter is Seinfeld, there’s a lot of built in asides that might benefit from a little more relaxed timing (for example, the quip about “Massapequa”—-which is unfortunately too garbled to make out by my ear—-seems to beg for a beat before continuing). Slowing down a bit and continuing to build upon the (obvious) enjoyment you’re expressing in the subject matter should add more polish for an even more accomplished read. Keep up the great work!
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September 10, 2021 at 3:19 pm #70655
JustJohn
ParticipantYour voice has a good timbre. The whole read, I would say, sounds rushed. Much of it is hard to understand, partly because of the high speed, partly because of insufficiently articulate pronunciation, and partly because your voice frequently drops off to a less audible low range. I would slow the whole thing down, even out the range a little (maybe don’t let your pitch get too low), and put a little more care into pronunciation.
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September 9, 2021 at 6:32 pm #70636
DLeeVO
ParticipantHello All. Posting 2 new narration reads. Looking forward to any and all input, thank you!
Attachments:
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September 15, 2021 at 2:44 am #70742
Shmuel
ParticipantHi DLeeVO,
Technical quality sounds good.
Animal planet sounds almost like your are yelling, not just excited. I would tone it down just a little bit, and make the read smoother.
Motivation started to get monotonous pretty quickly, and yes you do sound like another person, but I did not hear the “cold or allergy ” affect that JustJohn said. But hey, a lot of this is subjective. Sounding like another person in this case is very very good in my opinion. It shows you can do different reads. Some of the words were not clear “… again to the top athletes …” is what I heard. Act out some of the words, just a little bit.
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September 10, 2021 at 3:11 pm #70654
JustJohn
ParticipantGood energy at the opening of the Animal Planet Welcome read. The read sounds a little halting, and at times, even a bit over-pronounced (“top puppy players from all over the country,” for instance. You don’t need that many P’s or glottal stops). The read isn’t quite at the point of a natural-sounding flow. I would suggest keeping the friendly energy while smoothing out the delivery.
In the motivation meditation read, your voice sounds like that of another person — and it sounds a little like you have a cold, or allergies, or just need a glass of water. (I found myself reflexively clearing my throat while listening.) Again, I’d say the energy for the read is about right. Maybe ease up on the consonants just a little (for example, the “s” at the end of “yes” gets prolonged almost into a hiss).
In both reads, you sound friendly and accessible.
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September 9, 2021 at 4:17 pm #70626
salmaperez001
ParticipantHi everyone!
I’ve attached a couple of my narration recordings below. I would really appreciate some feedback. Thank you!
Attachments:
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September 10, 2021 at 5:13 pm #70667
rogue1
ParticipantHello salmaperez001, There is a very charming, reassuring quality to your voice. Your reads are all very crisp, clear and pleasant to the ear.
“Type to Learn” – Your read seems the perfect tempo and clarity for little listeners to follow along. Again, the inviting quality of your voice seems perfectly suited to a learning tutorial.
“American Express Telephony” – Your instructional read is spot on, but I might suggest you modulate to a more conversational tone when you start up-selling (“Did you know…”). Be both the voice of authority and the trusted friend.
“Hershey Tours” – Here’s where I think you might also experiment a bit as, while your read is crisp and clear and your voice is naturally inviting, the performance sounds a touch too “telephony” when the script seems to suggest a more of “tell a friend” approach. Perhaps try a version where you lean into a more conversational quality as you imagine that you’re telling someone sitting next to you all about the wonders of Hershey, PA. Right now it sounds a bit like you’re reading a script (Which is something I have to work on, myself).
“Pre-Boarding Announcements” – Again, very crisp, clear, and above all, warm and welcoming—exactly what passengers would want to hear during the stressful confines of a crowded air terminal.
Well done! Keep up the great work!
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September 21, 2021 at 5:57 pm #70884
salmaperez001
ParticipantThank you so much rogue1! I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to my recordings and sharing such insightful, specific feedback!
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