[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[brucem]

Hi everyone,
I’m attaching two narration scripts that I recorded for my narration homework. Please take a listen; any and all feedback appreciated.

Bruce

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[Erik B]

Hello everybody. Attached are three Narration reads for my latest homework assignment. I would appreciate any feedback in regards to the performances and recording quality. Thank you for taking the time to listen.

Ethan Allen

Fashion you relish. Quality you expect. Service you can depend on. Furnishings you can afford. Choices galore. This is the colorful image of Ethan Allen we want consumers to know. The wide spectrum of our image is expressed in many ways: through our galleries, our advertising, and our team of professionals who represent Ethan Allen. But is our image clearly visible to consumers? How can we ensure that Ethan Allen’s true colors shine through? Building a strong image that withstands the test of time takes imagination, innovation, and participation. Those who have succeeded in maintaining a colorful, appealing image have followed a simple rule.

The Maya

The Maya, an ancient South American culture, predicted that time would end in a violent apocalypse on December 21, 2012. They created an elaborate astronomical calendar called “The Long Count,” which stops abruptly in 2012. This date, which is also the winter equinox, coincides with an incredibly rare galactic alignment that happens once every 26,000 years. What did the Mayans think would happen when their calendar ended? And were they joined by other cultures–from different parts of the world and in different centuries–all pointing to 2012 as a calamitous end time?

Georgia O’Keeffe

Georgia O’Keeffe revolutionized modern art, both in her time and in the present. And if we understand O’Keeffe’s emotional response to nature and her need to create an equivalent in art, we hold the key to her work. In the 1920s she explored this theme in her magnified paintings of flowers, meant to convey that Nature, in all its beauty, was as powerful as the widespread industrialization of the period. After spending her first summer in New Mexico, she began to paint the colorful yet barren landscape, expansive skies and bleached bones that would capture her imagination, and her heart, for the rest of her life.

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[jwreickel]

Hey Erik!

You have a very soothing, professional sounding tone which is consistent across all three reads. Your articulation is also very nice and each word sounds very clear.

I’ve copied some feedback about each pieces below as it sounded to me, hope this helps!

Jimmy

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Ethan Allen
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It does sound like you’re reading and I think part of that is every sentence ends on a ‘down’ tone except the question (How can we ensure that Ethan Allen’s true colors shine through?). This makes it seems a little less conversational to me. I might also add a little more space between sentences.

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The Maya
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Better spacing between sentences, I feel like a little more emphasis on word/phrases like ‘violent apocalypse’ and ‘rare galactic alignment’ might make listeners a little more engaged.

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Georgia O’Keeffe
———–

Loved the line ‘in her magnified paintings of flowers, meant to convey that Nature, in all its beauty, was as powerful…’ This was my favorite of your three examples.

[SteveVoice2]

Good Morning Everyone:
Here are three Edge Studio library scripts recorded as part of my Narration homework and I would greatly appreciate any feedback to assist me improving my VO skills… thank you very much for taking the time to listen!

Advance Technologies
Welcome to Advance Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities

Educational Explainer- Real Estate
Would you like to buy a house? Maybe its your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run

Financial Engines
Financial Engines provides investors with honest, personalized advice and portfolio management. Available online, on paper, and by phone, our advice is accessible to all and unique to each investor’s goals and circumstances

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[jwreickel]

Good afternoon Steve,

Thanks for sharing! I would upload each file separately so it’s easier to listen to specific portions or to repeat a single read and I’ve copied some feedback about each script below as it sounded to me.

Thanks!

Jimmy

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Advance Technologies

Well paced but I feel like you sped up a little in the ‘This software is designed to offer you accurate informaiton about company policies and procedures’ part. I would also try to make the ‘your job is important to us’ especially soothing and reassuring

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Educational Explainer- Real Estate

This was my favorite of the three, I thought this was much more conversational than the first one, and I like the emphasis on MAYBE like is in the script.

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Financial Engines

Maybe a little fast, especially near the end.

[jwreickel]

Good afternoon everyone!

I’m starting my training and attached two reads! I’d definitely appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

Jimmy

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[jwreickel]

Forgot to attach the scripts!

——————

When it comes to woodworking for beginners, there are 6 things that are essential to know for how to start creating projects.

Once you’ve got a handle on these lessons, you can start to explore more advanced pieces and techniques.

I’m going to discuss each of these tips, so you can get to the fun part and actually start to work with wood!

———————
Fantasy Sports is estimated to be a four billion dollar industry that boasts over 30 million participants and leagues for every sport imaginable.

But for all this success, the story of the game’s inception is little known (UP). The modern fantasy leagues can be traced back to a group of writers and academics who met at La Rotisserie Francaise in New York City to form a baseball league of their own.

The game quickly grew in popularity, and with the growing use and attractiveness of the Internet, the “founding fathers” never foresaw how their creation would take off and ultimately leave them behind.

[ColtonJLong]

Alrighty everyone!
This is my first time uploading anything, as homework for private coaching!
I’d really appreciate some hard, honest feedback!
I’ll copy the scripts to the post!
Thanks everyone!

(Hooked on Phonics)
Start you child reading in four weeks with Hooked on Phonics. Use Hooked on Phonics about 20 minutes a day, a few times a week, and your child could be reading a bedtime story to you! This unique 3-step system puts phonics instruction together with 50 great books and fun interactive games to give your child a head start in reading. Try Hooked on Phonics today and see why parents rated it the #1 trusted name in teaching kids to read.

(Jack Daniels)
In Lynchburg, Tennessee, you can park in the middle of the road to talk with a neighbor about taxes or the weather. You can pick enough wild blackberries to fill a tin bucket. And you can see a distillery where Jack Daniel made whiskey way back in 1866. We still make it in a slow, deliberate fashion, much as he did. One sip, and you’ll be glad to know we don’t ever plan to stop. Jack Daniel’s … smooth sippin’ Tennessee whiskey.

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[Erik B]

Hi Colton,

I listened to your reads, I’ll share with you my thoughts.

Hooked on Phonics – good tone, tempos is a little fast, slow it down a bit.

Jack Daniels – good tempo, maybe drop the accent, use your natural voice. You hit the key words nicely.

Overall good job.

[ColtonJLong]

Thanks for the feedback. I certainly didn’t mean to put an accent on haha. I think I just had Tennessee on the mind and it happened. Its a bad habit of mine Im afraid. Happens all the time when I travel, unfortunately.

[Notetaker32]

Hey Feedback forum! I have two test reads here, going for the e-learning/explainer VOs. The first was the August VO contest script. As always, anything to improve the read is appreciated!

—-Ionizing Radiation—-
The purpose of this 8-section video-series is to increase your knowledge of ionizing radiation and to help you develop safe work habits here in the GE laboratory. A test will follow each section. Select “section 1” when you’re ready to begin.

—-Explainer Video for Website—-
For a manufacturer: Visibility, Performance and Predictability are paramount to success.

But how do industry professionals in sewn products manufacturing meet the challenges of reducing cycle times, increasing productivity, and delivering greater quality at lower costs?

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[Erik B]

Hi Notetaker 32,

I checked out your reads, and wanted to share my notes with you.

Ionizing Radiation – very good tone, watch out for the glottal stop b/w “radiation and”.

Explainer Video for Website – good tone. The second question/sentence sounds a bit rigid/robotic. Also watch out for the glottal b/w “Performance and Predictability”.

Overall solid job.

[Don Sack]

Notetaker!
Very soothing voice! What do I know, but, the IR spot; don’t go up in pitch at the end of the statements? Sounds a bit strange like a Valley Girl; it also gave me the feeling that you were talking down to the audience.
The EV spot was also very good vocally; perhaps slow the read down and enunciate?
Rock On!

[Notetaker32]

Sorry, I just noticed the Ionizing Radiation spot has a huge blank at the beginning of the file. Use this one instead!

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[Evette75]

Hi there – did some playful reads, please let me know your thoughts:

Word of Mouth News:
In today’s Word of Mouth News – Get Down On It! For a good time, call the smoothest operator around: your smartphone. Throw an off-the-hook bash, with everything from cool favors to boogie fever, thanks to a few new apps.

Rachael Show:
Mark your calendar for Rachael. Hot celebs… Hot fashions… and of course, Hot Dogs! Rach is sizzling all summer long! Rachael – Weekdays, check your local listings.

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[Erik B]

Hi Evette,

I really like your voice. I checked out your reads, and wanted to share my notes with you.

Word of Mouth News – great playful tone, good pacing. This read put a big smile on my face. Great job.

Rachel – good tone, good pacing. Maybe give a little more umph to “hot dogs” and “all summer long”. But overall good job.

[Notetaker32]

Hey Evette75, nice reads! I liked the playful tone. On the Rachael show, the vibe worked well but fell off a little at the end (“check your local listings”). I like how you extended “all summer long” and didn’t push through it too fast. Only thing I really noticed on Word of Mouth News was a little glottal stop in “off-the-hook.” Way to get into it!

[Jayburglar]

Hi everyone, still working on some more narration scripts as I get ready for my demo. Feedback is always appreciated!

TESLA CAMERA APP
The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.

COSMIC NARRATION
This is the story of a small planet in space called Earth.
Today it has mighty oceans; scorched deserts; and frozen wildernesses.
It supports a multitude of diverse creatures, and is home to more than 6 billion people and their technological civilization.

But how did all this come about? Where do we come from?

BUD GRANT
After spending four years in the Canadian Football League as a player, Grant went on to start a coaching legacy as just a 29-year-old. He proceeded to lead the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to six Grey Cups over the next 10 years, winning four of them. Ten years later, Grant came home to take over as the head coach of the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings.

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[Erik B]

Hi Jay,

I listened to your reads, I’ll share with you my thoughts.

Tesla – great voice, good tempo. I agree with Notetaker, sometimes it sound like you’re reading word for word. Overall good job.

Cosmic Narration – great tempo and great tone. This read is great. Awesome job.

Bud Grant – b/w year and winning the pause seems short. Overall good job.

[Notetaker32]

Jayburglar—
I was able to listen to Tesla Camera App: You have a really nice voice for this type of VO work, and you have excellent enunciation. Sometimes it sounds like you’re reading word-to-word, a little choppy, rather than as a smooth thought. Also watch some of the words that you might want to emphasize a smidgen more: Always, additional. The phone number read was perfect. Keep up the great work!

[DillonP]

Hello everyone, this is the first time I have posted any voice over content on this page, and they are both from the script library.

Feel free to leave a commit shows the pros and cons of my samples.

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[Erik B]

Hi Dillon,

The tempo for both reads sounds rushed, slow it down a bit. Also dig the enthusiasm. Good job.

[Sylvanie]

Hello Dillon,

Nice job.. I agree with Mel82’s feedback.There was something with the “Ts” and maybe the “S’s on the first read. Slow down just a tad bit. All in all. Very good!

[Don Sack]

Hey Dillon;
Slow down and enunciate. Is that your “normal” speaking voice? Otherwise don’t push the vocals, it sounds contrived to me. Great enthusiasm! Be clear and convincing.
Rock On!

[mel82]

Great energy and overall clear. I would just pay attention to the T’s and D’s, like in “get it all done” and “ready.” You hit the T on “Geico Direct” really well, so I’d just emphasize a little more.

[Sylvanie]

Hello Everyone, Here are two Scripts from the practice library I recorded for my narration homework. Take a listen and I would love all feedback that will help me to know what I need to work on some more. Thank you so much!

Social Security

Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family – this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security Income benefits.

Top Of The Rock Observation Deck

Welcome to Top Of The Rock, the best views of New York City from the newly renovated 3-tiered observation deck at the summit of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. The views from all three levels of the observation deck are breathtaking. With its open-air simplicity, complete 360-degree skyline, and crystal clear panels of glass showcasing the 80-mile view, Top Of The Rock is unmatched by any other vantage point in New York City.

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[Erik B]

Hi Sylvanie,

I checked out your reads, and here are my thoughts.

Social Security – good pace to the read. Watch out for the glottal stop b/w Administration and in the third sentence. You hit the key words nicely. You sounded a little tense/rigid in this read. Imagine you are talking to somebody to help the read sound more fluid.

Top of the Rock Observation Deck – good tone, good voice, you hit key words nicely. This read sounds great. Very good job.

[Sylvanie]

Hi Erik B,

Thank you so much for this feedback! This helps a great deal. I will definitely work on your suggestions for the Social Security read.

[Author]

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