Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi all! I’m looking for some feedback for my upcoming narration demo. I was going for a friend teaching a friend knitting vibe here. Let me know what you think. Thanks! Mary
The important thing to remember is that every knitter is different, and what works well for one might not suit another. There are also many styles of knitting, with different ways of holding the needles and working with the yarn to create knitted fabric. We’ll show you the most commonly used methods, but you should do whatever feels most natural for you. Just experiment until you find a comfortable way of performing each technique, and don’t worry if your preferred way is slightly different from ours, as long as the result is the same.
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This is very good. I sometimes feel like your careful pronunciation causes the read to feel just a little less natural. The phrase “…with different ways of holding the needles and working with the yarn to create knitted fabric” sounds a little breathless or nervous to me. I wonder if a little more pitch variation and maybe slowing down a little at that point would make it flow a little more freely. Overall, though, it sounds friendly and comfortable.
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I wanted to try my voice at a few commercials in the script library: One for Advil and one for Honey Bunches of Oats. I believe I took the right steps to make the reads conversational, but I would be grateful if I could get some feedback. These were the first recorded takes of each copy since I also want to try to worry less about getting the “right take” and more about getting a believable take.
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Hi Community,
As I try to gauge my direction in the voiceover biz, attempted an audio read… please provide feedback.Excerpt from To K**l A Mockingbird
Chapter 1, paragraph 1
When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. When it healed, and Jem’s fears of never being able to play football were assuaged, he was seldom self-conscious about his injury. His left arm was somewhat shorter than his right; when he stood or walked, the back of his hand wsa at right angles to his body, his thumb parallel to his thigh. He couldn’t have cared less, so long as he could pass and punt.-
Hi Evette, very nice! I like your nice soft tone, it’s very pleasant for an audio book. The pacing was good and I could really visualize the images. The only thing I noticed was that “stood” sounded a little smushed, like “sood” (no ‘t’ sound). but that’s minor and can easily be fixed. Good job!
Mary
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Hey all!
Uploading a few more scripts as part of my homework! Any feedback would be appreciated!
Jimmy
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Hi Jimmy, this is a nice and pleasant-sounding read. I could kind of hear an up-down inflection pattern throughout, so maybe be more selective with the words you choose to emphasize. You have good personality throughout, but perhaps it could be a little more conversational. All in all, you’re going in a good direction. Nice job!
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Hey Everyone,
Feedback is welcome. I’m new to the community, under coaching with Issa Deas.
Attached is 1) A Haunting Tale and 2) HLC Tech Physics-
Hi Brandon
The Haunting Tale read is just in time for the season – clinging to my blanket at a sleepover, hanging on to the “what’s next” is the vibe your read gave me, love it. I agree with nettipo1 with it influencing your second read. -
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Hi Brandon – I was thoroughly scared by the Haunting Tale read – your voice was consistently in character. I think the Speed Velocity read was influenced by your Haunting read, in that the way you emphasized the words in Speed Velocity almost came across kind of scary. You might want to try different ways to emphasize or clarify words, or a different emotion. I think you have great depth in your voice naturally that doesn’t need much effort to bring it out.
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Hi All,
Thanks for any feedback you are willing to provide! Hopefully this won’t be cut off at the end, like all my other postings.
Betty Crocker
Time flies when you’re a kid. Take a minute to savor the days of swing sets and sandboxes with fudgy, homemade Betty Crocker chocolate chunk brownies. Her childhood won’t last but her memories of the way you made it special will. Betty Crocker… what a great idea. -
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Greetings!
Here are two spots for you to listen to and critique please. On a roll here after a bit of a layoff.-
Hi, Don!
First of all, your voice is great! It has a certain gravitas that gets the audience’s attention and it works wonderfully for both of these reads! I could understand what you were saying clearly during the Aetna read! The pacing of the Pilot Shop read was great, too!
One thing that will help you with the reads is to ask who you would have these conversations with. Say, for Aetna, you’re talking to someone who’s uncertain about their healthcare options or maybe they’re lost trying to find what works for them. Perhaps you’re talking to a younger person who wants to be a pilot and needs the right teacher or simply wants to know what it’s like to fly one! Identifying who you’re speaking with and why you would bring either of these topics up will make your delivery sound more conversational. As it is now, it IS a bit robotic. However, you laid down a solid foundation to build on with these pieces of copy!
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Hi Don,
I like the certainty of the Aetna read, but I would eliminate the pauses so that it doesn’t get too choppy. The first part of the first sentence had a downward inflection at the comma plus a pause.
I liked the Sports Pilot Shop a lot. It really flowed, with no obvious pauses. I think you may have said “aromatics” instead of “aeronautics”? I could totally hear this announcement over the PA system in a store… while I shop for pilot stuff (just kidding!) Good stuff. Keep it coming.
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Hello! Thanks for your feedback!
McDonald’s Salads
Me. Myself. My salad. Okay. This is it. This is the salad for me. The Grilled Chicken Caesar at McDonald’s. I am so into all the different kinds of lettuce and the cute little tomatoes. But what really shouts my name is all that warm grilled chicken. I drizzle on the low fat Newman’s Own all natural Balsamic Vinaigrette and I am one happy woman. Want to hear me go on and on about the crispy cobb or bacon ranch salad too? I’m lovin’ it.-
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Nettipo!
With your voice…you’re hired! Listen, a pause and different inflection before “drizzle”; as well, the recording cut off the finish. -
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Hi Don,
Your manly voice is wonderful for these kinds of spots – but I think you probably knew that! 🙂 Both spots had great energy, and I would suggest slowing down the pace in certain parts, so that words you emphasize aren’t rushed or blended together. For Royal Purple Max, make sure to clarify the product name a teensy bit more so that “Max” doesn’t blend in with the word right after it “atomizer.” Try not to rush through the next few words, “high-performance,” “high-concentrated.” Since this copy has so many descriptive words, you may want to be more selective of which words you actually emphasize so that they stand out more. Make sure the tag line doesn’t get mixed into the list of benefits mentioned before it, by changing how you say the start of that sentence as well as removing the pause in the middle of it. -
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