Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,047 replies, 724 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by
micpri53.
-
CreatorTopic
-
August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
-
CreatorTopic
-
AuthorReplies
-
October 13, 2021 at 11:29 pm #71358
brucem
ParticipantHi everyone,
I have some scripts that I’m working on for a narration demo; please take a listen when you get a chance. Any and all feedback welcome!
Thanks
BruceAttachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 17, 2021 at 2:40 pm #71405
ecbrown220
ParticipantHi Bruce,
I listened to your SamCookBio file. It sounded awesome my only critique would be on your sentences the ended with a “s”. Be careful to not drag the “s” too much at then end of your sentence. Otherwise it was great.
-
-
October 12, 2021 at 10:25 pm #71326
Leann
ParticipantHello there! I am uploading all of these in preparation for my upcoming session and hope maybe someone may have some time to give a little feedback? 🙂 I look forward to hearing any tips or tricks. I seem to be having a hard time with cutting and pasting using Audacity and finding the right levels. Give it to me straight here, folks! I can take it. 😉
Thanks <3Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 13, 2021 at 9:42 pm #71352
nettipo1
ParticipantHi Leann,
All of your reads were very clear. An overall suggestion I would offer is to relax more, as you sounded kind of careful, particularly in the VOCorp-trainer read, and also try different ways to make it more conversational. Sometime it helps to ad lib a fake conversation with another (imaginary) person, and then roll right into the script, and see if it helps you continue with that conversational tone. I can relate to the Audacity challenges – I found that the DAW/Audacity class that they offer will give you the key settings to aim for. Good job! -
October 13, 2021 at 3:28 pm #71344
Oktober10
ParticipantHi Leann, I really love the tone of your voice. You annunciate well and have a clear voice. I like the expression in your voice as all. Friendly, authoritative and believable. nice work!
-
October 12, 2021 at 10:26 pm #71331
-
-
October 12, 2021 at 1:48 am #71316
nettipo1
ParticipantHi All,
I find that sometimes I don’t know what exactly I’m trying to do in my practice sessions. Probably doesn’t help for me to practice too many times in one sitting. Anyway, here are two different types of reads. Arm and Hammer is meant to be light and humorous, and PPG Paints (practice#2) is supposed to be more “real”–although I personally think it sounds rather gloomy. I’ve also included PPG paint practice#1 for comparison. I am open to any thoughts, suggestions, opinions on which version you like more. Thank you.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files. -
October 11, 2021 at 11:58 pm #71311
mkell755
ParticipantHi all! I’m looking for some feedback to this script for my upcoming narration demo. Please let me know what you think. I’m trying for friendly / conversational. Thanks!
Mary
Henri Cartier-Bresson was a French humanist photographer born in 1908. He is considered a master of candid photography, viewing the craft as an avenue to capture a decisive moment. He was one of the earliest photographers to use 35mm film and shot almost exclusively in black and white. Though his large body of work, which included a variety of street photography, was impressive, he turned his attention solely to painting later in life.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
mkell755. Reason: Type on description of script
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 15, 2021 at 5:58 pm #71393
Evette75
ParticipantHi Mary, I agree with Oktober10 – that moment when you fold the pamphelt and start paying attention to the audio. I can see what nettipo1 mentioned about changing tone to give more attention to his changing paths. Overall, great job!
-
October 13, 2021 at 9:58 pm #71353
nettipo1
ParticipantHello,
Your delivery is friendly, smooth, and soothing, and you have no issues with reading or doing any unnecessary pausing, which is wonderful. I still tend to think that you could be more conversational. Be mindful of the down inflection at the end of his name “Bresson.”, which ends up slightly halting the sentence mid-way. Also, the last sentence contains a bit of interesting information (changing to painting later on in life), which you might want to call to the listener’s attention by changing your tone or inflection so that it’s “audibly” different from the preceding sentences. -
October 13, 2021 at 3:37 pm #71347
Oktober10
ParticipantAWESOME! I imagined myself in a museum with the audio learning about the work. Great pace and tone and very informative speak.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
-
October 11, 2021 at 10:50 pm #71306
Sheila Harris
ParticipantHi! Here are two of my latest scripts. Looking forward to your feedback!
Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.
Advance Technologies
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files. -
October 11, 2021 at 8:01 am #71279
bevy
ParticipantGood Day,
I am attaching 3 narration recordings for my HW assignment. I would appreciate your general feedback as well as specific feedback around my pace, tone, ability to switch up style in a way that compliments the read and glottal stops (which has been a bit of a challenge for me). Suggestions on how to improve are always appreciated.
Of the three recordings, I wrestled the most with the Jazz recording. I have two versions, but decided to upload the “smoother” versus the “upbeat” version here.
Scripts:
Children’s Educational Space Game:
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!Documentray on Jazz:
It is America’s music. It is an improvised Art, making itself up as it goes along. It rewards individual expression. But demands selfless collaboration. It is forever changing. But nearly always rooted in the blues. It has a rich tradition and its own rules. But it is brand new every night.Advance Tech:
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.Thank you!
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
bevy. Reason: Forgot to include scripts
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 14, 2021 at 10:50 pm #71387
brucem
ParticipantHi Bevy,
As others have mentioned, you have a nice smooth delivery; for the children’s educational space game, you’re trying to get kids interested in playing your game, so I think it could use a little more excitement and inflection. I’m curious to hear the “upbeat” reading of the jazz script. As someone who has spent many a night in NYC jazz clubs, this is a little too laid back. It’s exciting music that is “brand new every night”.
Advance tech has a nice balance of corporate but friendly. -
October 13, 2021 at 10:15 pm #71355
nettipo1
ParticipantHi bevy,
I enjoyed your reads. Overall, they were smoothly delivered with a friendly and credible tone. As others noted, the Space Game was rushed throughout. In the Jazz script, I think what might be happening is the tendency to rush the beginnings of sentences, or the parts of the sentence that do not contain any key words that are being emphasized. I know this because I do the same thing. So phrases like “it rewards” and “but demands” could be delivered a tad bit slower so that it’s clearer for the listener. Also, make sure you remember your audience for each script and talk to them on their level. Again, you have a credible tone that has the flexibility to work for multiple audiences. -
October 11, 2021 at 11:34 pm #71310
mkell755
ParticipantHi Bevy, good work! I liked the first script but agree with Radioguy in that there needed to be a bit more pausing with the punctuation; it sounded a bit rushed. I liked the tone on this one. For the second script on jazz it sounded a bit monotone to me. I think you could vary the tone a bit more, and still keep it smooth. The words themselves are describing lots of variation, so I think your voice could mimic that more. The third script was a nice variation from the first two and sounded nice and corporate. Good job!
Mary
-
October 11, 2021 at 8:35 pm #71303
radioguy
ParticipantYou have a very appealing tone but remember that this is voice acting so you need to pause with punctuation and vary your emphasis on certain phrases. Use your energy to make the copy come alive in your VO.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
-
October 10, 2021 at 11:29 pm #71269
ColtonJLong
ParticipantGot some more homework recordings! I went with a political ad and a History Channel ad. Id love to hear what people have to say! Im really trying to work on pronunciation, especially “For” instead of “fer” and “to” instead of “ta”, so hopefully I didnt over do the effort on those!
Ill paste the scripts here too!CLEANER ELECTIONS
Smear campaigns…mud slinging…twisting the truth.
Why do politicians resort to such underhanded tactics?
Do they think it really helps their campaign?
It’s u**y, uncalled for, and deceitful.
So why do we allow them to continue?
It’s time to level the playing field.
You want our vote? Then focus on the issues that affect all of us.
This election season, advocate for a clean election process.
Paid for by the committee for cleaner elections.HISTORY CHANNEL
If you lived before our time, who would you be?
Would you fight your brother for the rights of another? Who would you be?
Would you find new dreams or create wonders?
What if you could choose from a 1,000 yesterdays; a 1,000 lives, when the past was today and the new took your breath away.
Who would you be? What would you feel? How would you live? Who would you love?
Remembering every generation before us;
Remembering for generations to come.
The History Channel. Where the past comes alive.Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 15, 2021 at 6:07 pm #71394
Evette75
ParticipantHi Colton – nice job! I did notice you rearranged a few of the words in the “Do they think it really helps their campaign?” line. Something to be mindful of moving forward.
-
October 11, 2021 at 8:58 pm #71304
LSlagle519
ParticipantHi, Colton!
Listening to these clips, your voice is very crisp and clear. Your diction is great–I can understand every word you say–and your pacing on the Cleaner Elections read was good!
One thing I believe you can improve on is creating more stakes in each read. Think about who you’re talking to in both pieces of copy. In Cleaner Elections, why is it important to stop the constant mudslinging tactics politicians use? Why is it so urgent that this system gets fixed? In the History Channel, what strikes your scene partner’s curiosity about living in another era? Is it their sense of right and wrong? Are they interested in the lives people of other time periods lived? Think about the emotional response you want from them both. You have incredibly clear reads and a wonderful voice, but it’s missing the substance that makes it sound conversational: Convey that urgency, heighten their curiosity, get them to FEEL something!
I would definitely keep these for practice and maybe edit the copy for a demo (never rip the exact copy, but don’t spoof the names). You picked really good options for reads!
-
October 13, 2021 at 9:21 am #71341
ColtonJLong
ParticipantWow, thanks! This is really great feedback! Its nice to know at least the read is coming through clearly, as Im still coming to grips with audacity! I reworked through these with my coach, so Ill be uploading new reads later this week! Thanks again!
-
-
October 11, 2021 at 7:51 am #71275
bevy
ParticipantHello,
I really enjoyed your interpretation of the Cleaner Elections script. Your pace was excellent-you read with clarity and conviction and it felt personal/conversational.
On the History Channel read, my only suggestion would be on the pacing, it went a bit quickly, specifically after the line “would you fight your brother for the rights of another”. Otherwise, nice read!
-
October 11, 2021 at 2:21 pm #71297
ColtonJLong
ParticipantThank you so much for your feedback! I figured the read might have been a bit fast, but I really was having a hard time with maintaining flow while also pronouncing “for” correctly! I must have had 50 takes where I caught a “fer” or “ta”! I’ll keep improving!
-
-
-
October 10, 2021 at 10:35 pm #71267
nettipo1
ParticipantHi All! Thank you for any feedback you can provide.
Acura Future
Great design challenges more than just the eyes. It challenges the future. We designed the RDX to challenge not just the future of SUVs, but also the future of Acura. The future starts now. The future is the Acura RDX.
Acura. Everything we ever imagined. And then some.Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files. -
October 9, 2021 at 4:04 pm #71259
mkell755
ParticipantHi all! I’m looking for some feedback on my upcoming narration demo. I’m going for conversational and friendly. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
How to Build a Beehive – Step 4: Once you have installed bees, the setup is called an “apiary.” When the bees have filled the bottom brood box about 80 percent full, place another brood box on top. Once that box is 80 percent full, top it with a super box, which is slightly shorter than a brood box. Continue this process as much as needed. Beekeepers harvest honey from super boxes, which once full can weigh up to 60 pounds.
Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 13, 2021 at 3:35 pm #71346
Oktober10
ParticipantNice work Mary. I like your authoritative tone however I suggest maybe lightening it a bit, I mean bee keeping is fun right? Not like you’re speaking to a kid, but still with a sense of authority and knowledge. Hope that makes sense.
-
October 11, 2021 at 7:55 am #71276
bevy
ParticipantHello,
I enjoyed the read overall. Your tone was friendly, you presented as one who is knowledgable about the subject. Your pace was on target and it was pleasant to listen to.
-
-
October 9, 2021 at 1:50 pm #71254
Sylvanie
ParticipantHello Everyone, I have attached (2) narration homework for your feedback. As always, it is so much appreciated. Thanks again!
Amelia Earhart (Biography)
Amelia Earhart dared to go where no one had gone before. The public adored the pioneering pilot. And news reels of the day captured her every move. Yet the private side of Amelia would always remain an enigma.
Disney’s Oceans Opening (Soft Spoken)
A boy comes running up, and he asks, “What exactly is the ocean? What is the sea?”
You could hit him with a lot of statistics and Latin names, but the answer isn’t something you’ll find in a book. To really know what the ocean is, you have to see it for yourself. And hear it. And taste it. You have to feel its power.Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
October 13, 2021 at 3:40 pm #71348
Oktober10
ParticipantHi there. I love the expression in your voice! I would say make note of how long your pauses are between sentences. Try maybe to smooth it out a tad? If there’s video which these scripts seem like they may be used for, then it makes sense to pause to time with the visuals.
-
-
AuthorReplies
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.