Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everyone! I’m new to the Edge Studio VO demo program and excited to see what yall have to say about these readings 🙂
Starbucks: We’ve been told that perfect mornings exist for the lucky few. That morning people own the waking hours. But the truth is mornings belong to all of us. and while your morning might look like this. Or this. Or even this. Your mornings are what you make them. All it takes is saying Yes. Starbucks. Morning. Yes.
Allstate: Welcome to Allstate. A place where everyone lives life well protected. And even when things go a bit wrong, we got your back. Here things work the way you wish they would and better protection costs a whole lot less. You’re in good hands with Allstate.
Happy weekend,
DevonMisfits Market: Hi. We’re Misfits Market. We rescue organic produce and surplus pantry staples from sustainably minded farmers and food makers and deliver them straight to your door at up to 40% off grocery store prices. Just build your box online, we’ll pack it with the best stuff: quality, affordable groceries ..for everyone! (Just the way it should be.) Get started at misfitsmarket.com.
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Hey Devon,
You have a really nice voice. Your tempo was great, but the reads sounded a bit choppy. Some of your words weren’t clear, example: Misfits ‘at up to 40%’ sounded like ‘add up to 40%.’ Minor stuff. Your volume was a bit low. I think if you find the one person you want to share your information with, and speak directly to them, all of the choppy-ness, if there’s such a word, will vanish! Add that smile in your performances and you’ve got it made. Can’t wait to hear more! -
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Great job! I would work on your pacing a bit more. Really visualize what you are saying and what kind of video it may be paired with. Painting a scene in your head may really help your delivery! It could even be helpful to imagine talking to someone you know about the service to sound genuinely interested about the service/product.
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Hi Devon, good work!
Misfits: There seemed to be a lot of unnecessary pauses in this one in the first sentence, which made it a little choppy sounding and less conversational. The last “misfitsmarket.com” seemed to get low and trailed off, to emphasize the brand in a more positive light, I would bring up the tone more. Also “for everyone!” sounded like “fer”. I do this too and it is a hard habit to break as part of my natural accent. Per my coach, I will write in “4” instead of “for” to tell my brain to not to skip over it with a “fer”.
Allstate: This was nice, but you might try it with more smile in your voice, which will sound warmer and more reassuring to the listener.
Starbucks: Nice smile in your voice. I liked the variation of tone your use in the list “and while your morning might look like this. Or this. Or even this.” I liked this one the best for you. Keep it up!Mary
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Hello Everyone:
Thanks for taking the time to listen to my latest homework assignments. Really appreciate any feedback as I am always looking to improve!
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows. A world positively rippling with life.
From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.AEC Foundation
Every child deserves to grow up with opportunities to learn and thrive. With his skills, her talents, each is a potential leader, a contributor, a productive citizen. How kids grow up will determine their success as adults. But sadly, more than one in five children in America are growing up in poor families and poor neighborhoods, where the chance to thrive is anything but a given. The Annie E. Casey Foundation is dedicated to changing that.
The Time Capsule
A computer, a new wonder drug, your favorite snack or light bulb. What would you put in a time capsule that could be opened in 1000 years?
How will you want to be remembered? Look around-is it your wedding pictures, your favorite book, or those old jeans? Which treasures will tell the story of how we lived, who we loved, what we overcame? A world premiere event “The Times Capsule” Tonight at 9 Eastern 10 Pacific on The History Channel.Once again, thanks very much
Steve
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Hi Steve! Very nice! I like your deep warm and clear voice – it cuts through nicely!
Cosmos: This was my favorite for you, your voice is very well suited for space narration. Great pacing, pauses and emphasized words throughout. After “…rippling with life.” it seems like you could take just a micro-pause longer, like you are setting the stage for the rest of the story. The word “cost” had a slight accent, sounded like “cawst” (Boston area maybe?) that I did not hear for the rest of the script, just an observation from me, a mid-westerner.
AEC: This was clear and had good pacing, but you did not sound as connected / interested in the script.
Time Capsule: I liked this one, but it felt a tiny bit rushed. You could perhaps pause a tiny bit more after some of the questions, which will allow listeners to take a beat and think about the questions, not a big deal. Really nice work!!Mary
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Good afternoon everyone!
Doing some more homework and have a few more scripts! I’d appreciate any feedback everyone has, thanks!
Jimmy
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Good afternoon everyone!
I’m completing my homework for this past session and have attached some scripts.
Thanks for any feedback you can provide!
Sincerely,
Jimmy
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Hi Jimmy good work! Your voice is friendly, approachable and clear, I agree that it sounds trustworthy.
Real Estate: – Good pacing on this one and it got my attention, I liked this one the best for you.
Company website: Very believable and good pacing for this one, like you were talking with a friend.
Social Security: No specific criticisms on this one. Good work!Mary
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Hi Jimmy! You really have a very trustworthy voice 🙂
I enjoyed this one the most. I’d recommend picturing who you’re talking to throughout the reading to really emphasize how you make this feel like a conversation or a narration of the viewer’s own thought. However, casual and conversational really suits you!
The Company Website Greeting sounds a bit like you’re chuckling at Bob at the beginning and I enjoyed that quite a bit. The pace on this one could be sped up a bit but you had me picturing a commercial with this one.
On your reading of the Social Security script – your annunciation is perfect and I really appreciate the time you take to pause. I’d recommend catching the down pitch at the end of some sentences and speeding up the reading a bit.
Hope you find this helpful!
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Hello!
I am uploading 2 of my recent sample scripts I read after my first coaching session. I am working towards a narration demo. Thank you for any feedback you may have.
Scripts are below for reference.Advance Technologies
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.American Express
Thank you for holding. Did you know that you can now receive your American Express statement completely online. No more paper bills! We’ll even send you an email reminder when your statement is ready for viewing. To see if you can take advantage of this free service; log on to americanexpress.com/paperless. Or ask your representative.-
Hello!
I like your professional tone and I think you are reading these very articulately. I do think the Advance Technologies script is a little fast, and you may want to emphasize the name of the company (I know it’s fake but trying to highlight the company itself a little for a read like this is likely going to be appreciated for real applications).
I really liked the second read, specially the first few sentences. It seems a little sped up near the end but I thought this one was really good.
Sincerely,
Jimmy
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Hello gang, three more homework pieces for your listening pleasure (?). I’m open to, and appreciate, any and all feedback. Thanks! Chris.
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American Tire Supply (casual, conversational, let go of your diction a little, animated, BE YOURSELF)
Free. Now when’s the last time ya’ heard that? A while…right? Well at American Tire Supply, when you buy one all-weather radial tire, you get another one free! Plus, get a free alignment! Hey, with a deal like this, how can you NOT afford to visit.?
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Tesla Camera App
The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.
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Phytophotodermatitis (Medical Narration)
Phytophotodermatitis is a nonimmunologic phototoxic cutaneous eruption resulting from contact with photosensitizing substances found in plants; furocoumarins (present in limes and other plants) are typically implicated and get activated following exposure to sunlight, especially 320-400 nanometer UVA rays.
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Hi Chris,
These sound incredible. I would agree that you should hit Free, especially when you say “you get another one free!”.
I definitely enjoyed the Tesla narration. The voice was warm and clear. There were moments in it that felt slightly robotic and I think a shift in inflection could bring it back to the warmth that your voice is giving.
SUPER impressed with how confidently and clearly you pronounced each medical term. -
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Hey Chris!
I think these are very good! Hmmm.. “FREE”? Emphasize free; not overboard but emphasize the tire is…..FREE, the alignment is….FREE.
I thought you “instructional” voice was excellent; watch the popping sounds but that comes as you get your studio squared away: Pop Filter, mic distance.
Rock On! -
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Hi all! I’m looking for feedback to this narration script for my upcoming narration demo. Let me know what you think, thank you!
Mary
Born in 1847, at the very end of the industrial revolution, Thomas Edison was part of a new wave of scientists and inventors that lit the way into the modern era. His famed research lab in Menlo Park, New Jersey hosted the development of innovations that still undergird much of our industrial and consumer infrastructure, including the phonograph (which recorded and played sound), motion pictures and the light bulb. His work there was so important that the town in which Menlo Park was located now bears his name.
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Sounds great! Everything was pronounced clearly, and you had a good amount of variation in your emphasis and a nice volume (not too quiet, and not too loud). The tempo does seem a little slow sometimes, so you might want to speak just that little more quickly (unless your monologue goes with images and video, possibly) Good work!
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Hi gang, another round of narration homework. Would love to hear your feedback. Thanks in advance!
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Company Website Greeting
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car.A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough.
According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.-
Amelia Earhart
Amelia Earhart dared to go where no one had gone before. The public adored the pioneering pilot. And news reels of the day captured her every move. Yet the private side of Amelia would always remain an enigma.
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Documentary on Jazz
It is America’s music. It is an improvised Art, making itself up as it goes along. It rewards individual expression. But demands selfless collaboration. It is forever changing. But nearly always rooted in the blues. It has a rich tradition and its own rules. But it is brand new every night.
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Hi Christophe! Your voice reminds me of that classic radio timbre. These were great 🙂
For Amelia Earhart this is great overall! A nice added touch could be a shift in the tone/feel a the last sentence to match the idea that there was more to Amelia than meets the eye.
Jazz: I like the great variation in pitch that you use! Adding a bit of change in volume could add a bit more variety in how you emphasize the different aspects of music. For example, maybe softer for “selfless” or with less vocal fry for “rich”.
Company website: I really enjoyed this one and felt a bit like I know Bob. And that led to me trusting your quick shift into the hard facts. Great work!
~Devon -
Hi Christophe, good job!
Company website: Sounded nice and clear, very good pacing and very genre-appropriate for your voice. This was my favorite for you of the 3, fell the most authentic.
Jazz: I liked the variation in tone throughout the script, but the pace felt a little bit rushed to me. It seems like this script has several periods throughout to make the performer slow down and savor the sentences for the listener. If music was playing behind it, just think of all the different jazz riffs that would be playing; I think it could use a little more deliberate pace.
Amelia: Very nice tone, pace and clarity. I wanted to hear more about her story. Overall very good!Mary
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I just had my first Private Coaching Demo last week, and I’ve recorded myself reading some scripts. I’d appreciate if you all would take a listen. Thanks!
Comlongon Castle Script
Steeped in Scottish Border history, Comlongon Castle
is more than just a Scottish Wedding Castle venue — it
has fantastic displays of Armor, weapons and banners,
while the opulent bedrooms boast 4-poster beds and jacuzzis,
providing a stunning blend of Medieval and modern luxury.Roll20 Mobile App Script
We want you to be able to keep your characters, in your pocket.
And that all starts here. Roll20 is excited to announce the invite beta
for our new mobile app! You’ve been asking, and now we’re reaching out
to our awesome community to help us build the best mobile VTT experience!Ripple Foods Script
This is Ripple! It’s Dairy Free done right.
It’s plant-based for the great taste! 8 times more protein
than almond milk, and 15 percent more calcium than dairy milk!
When you want more in every pour, all you need is Ripple!
It’s Dairy-Free done right!-
Hey Logan!
Congratulations on taking the plunge into VO!
The Comlongon spot, a couple of thoughts; check up on the accepted pronunciation of that name? It sounds a bit like you “ate” the word. Perhaps slow down a bit and be smoother, make the script flow more? Reading lists of things, differentiate each item via inflection, consider what words to emphasize; watch the popping of p’s and b’s and such. I thought the Ripple spot was good and you ended it well!
Rock On! -
Hi Logan, nice work! I like your deep, clear and articulate voice.
Comlongon: Interesting emphasis on several words throughout. It seemed a little choppy throughout, you might try smoothing it out a bit with not as many pauses. For a completely different take, it sounds like you might be able to push a Scottish or character voice accent to see how it sounds.
Roll20: Good pacing on this one. “…new mobile app!” sounded more like “…new mobile app.”, with a downward tone at the end instead of a more excited exclamation. You are excited about the new mobile app, but it does not come across that way.
Ripple: The variation in tone is good, but it sounds a little robotic for the script. The exclamation points in this script also end with a downward tone, you might try a more upbeat ending for those, which will translate to projecting more energy and positivity about the product. Hopefully that helps! Keep it up.Mary
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