Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #71441
    CHRISTOPHER WHITING
    Participant

    Hi gang, another round of narration homework. Would love to hear your feedback. Thanks in advance!

      Company Website Greeting

    Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car.A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough.
    According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.

      Amelia Earhart

    Amelia Earhart dared to go where no one had gone before. The public adored the pioneering pilot. And news reels of the day captured her every move. Yet the private side of Amelia would always remain an enigma.

      Documentary on Jazz

    It is America’s music. It is an improvised Art, making itself up as it goes along. It rewards individual expression. But demands selfless collaboration. It is forever changing. But nearly always rooted in the blues. It has a rich tradition and its own rules. But it is brand new every night.

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    • #71562
      dvnblnt
      Participant

      Hi Christophe! Your voice reminds me of that classic radio timbre. These were great 🙂
      For Amelia Earhart this is great overall! A nice added touch could be a shift in the tone/feel a the last sentence to match the idea that there was more to Amelia than meets the eye.
      Jazz: I like the great variation in pitch that you use! Adding a bit of change in volume could add a bit more variety in how you emphasize the different aspects of music. For example, maybe softer for “selfless” or with less vocal fry for “rich”.
      Company website: I really enjoyed this one and felt a bit like I know Bob. And that led to me trusting your quick shift into the hard facts. Great work!
      ~Devon

    • #71452
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Christophe, good job!
      Company website: Sounded nice and clear, very good pacing and very genre-appropriate for your voice. This was my favorite for you of the 3, fell the most authentic.
      Jazz: I liked the variation in tone throughout the script, but the pace felt a little bit rushed to me. It seems like this script has several periods throughout to make the performer slow down and savor the sentences for the listener. If music was playing behind it, just think of all the different jazz riffs that would be playing; I think it could use a little more deliberate pace.
      Amelia: Very nice tone, pace and clarity. I wanted to hear more about her story. Overall very good!

      Mary

  • #71435
    Logan DFD
    Participant

    I just had my first Private Coaching Demo last week, and I’ve recorded myself reading some scripts. I’d appreciate if you all would take a listen. Thanks!

    Comlongon Castle Script

    Steeped in Scottish Border history, Comlongon Castle
    is more than just a Scottish Wedding Castle venue — it
    has fantastic displays of Armor, weapons and banners,
    while the opulent bedrooms boast 4-poster beds and jacuzzis,
    providing a stunning blend of Medieval and modern luxury.

    Roll20 Mobile App Script

    We want you to be able to keep your characters, in your pocket.
    And that all starts here. Roll20 is excited to announce the invite beta
    for our new mobile app! You’ve been asking, and now we’re reaching out
    to our awesome community to help us build the best mobile VTT experience!

    Ripple Foods Script

    This is Ripple! It’s Dairy Free done right.
    It’s plant-based for the great taste! 8 times more protein
    than almond milk, and 15 percent more calcium than dairy milk!
    When you want more in every pour, all you need is Ripple!
    It’s Dairy-Free done right!

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    • #71467
      Don Sack
      Participant

      Hey Logan!
      Congratulations on taking the plunge into VO!
      The Comlongon spot, a couple of thoughts; check up on the accepted pronunciation of that name? It sounds a bit like you “ate” the word. Perhaps slow down a bit and be smoother, make the script flow more? Reading lists of things, differentiate each item via inflection, consider what words to emphasize; watch the popping of p’s and b’s and such. I thought the Ripple spot was good and you ended it well!
      Rock On!

    • #71453
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Logan, nice work! I like your deep, clear and articulate voice.
      Comlongon: Interesting emphasis on several words throughout. It seemed a little choppy throughout, you might try smoothing it out a bit with not as many pauses. For a completely different take, it sounds like you might be able to push a Scottish or character voice accent to see how it sounds.
      Roll20: Good pacing on this one. “…new mobile app!” sounded more like “…new mobile app.”, with a downward tone at the end instead of a more excited exclamation. You are excited about the new mobile app, but it does not come across that way.
      Ripple: The variation in tone is good, but it sounds a little robotic for the script. The exclamation points in this script also end with a downward tone, you might try a more upbeat ending for those, which will translate to projecting more energy and positivity about the product. Hopefully that helps! Keep it up.

      Mary

  • #71420
    Shaun Cruz
    Participant

    Hey All! This is my first submission, part of my assignment for the 1st private coaching session I had last year. I’ve been busy with other things but finally rolling back in! Anyway, any feedback is much appreciated.

    Thanks! Please Find Scripts Below

    AMEX:
    Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.

    JACK DANIELS:
    In Lynchburg, Tennessee, you can park in the middle of the road to talk with a neighbor about taxes or the weather. You can pick enough wild blackberries to fill a tin bucket. And you can see a distillery where Jack Daniel made whiskey way back in 1866. We still make it in a slow, deliberate fashion, much as he did. One sip, and you’ll be glad to know we don’t ever plan to stop. Jack Daniel’s … smooth sippin’ Tennessee whiskey.

    SESAME PLACE:

    Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2018 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi™! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Place® theme park!

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    • #71682
      RoxyMel
      Participant

      Hi Shaun Cruz, great ability to alter and vary you voice pitch! The second and third reads seemed well in tempo and smoothness, though I felt that in the first read for Amex it was a little rushed especially about two thirds of the way though it. Overall wonderful work especially considering this is your first submission!

    • #71454
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Shaun, good work! I like the variation in tone, pace and delivery between the 3 scripts, way to vary it up. I’m only hearing sound in my left ear for all three, could be my setup but usually I hear equally in both ears through my earphones, might be something to check (although I don’t know how one would fix this).
      Amex: Pace and tone were good.
      Jack: Nice accent, slower pace and chill vibe, this was my favorite for you! “taxes” sounded like “Texas” to me, but I think you did a good job of getting into the accent, and it could be argued that your pronunciation kept in character.
      Sesame: Good energy and enthusiasm for this one. You might try some variation in tone for the list of 3 things that starts with “…whirl on rides,”. Also, I know this is just for practice, but the word “biggest was missed in this script, just something to watch for that every word is said. Overall very good!

      Mary

      • #71492
        Shaun Cruz
        Participant

        Hi Mary! Thanks so much for the feedback, I got the whole one-sided recording thing fixed, I will be uploading more samples soon! Thanks again!

        • #71578
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome Shaun! Glad you got the one-sided recording thing fixed, I hope it was something relatively simple! 🙂

          Mary

    • #71430
      Logan DFD
      Participant

      Overall, these are pretty good! I liked the Jack Daniels one the best, but the Sesame Place one was great too! You did a good job pulling off both a deep, country voice, and a higher, child-friendly tone. Something you might want to think about is adding a little more variation in pitch and emphasis, and when deciding when to vary the pitch and emphasis, go with your gut, listen to the recording, and make any necessary changes to your delivery until you think it sounds natural and conversational (as if you could see yourself saying it in a conversation). Keep up the good work!

      • #71493
        Shaun Cruz
        Participant

        Hi Logan, Thanks so much for the great feedback! and thank you for the tips, being conversational in a lot of the laidback stuff is my goal so, I’m definitely taking your advice into consideration. Thanks again, Peace!

  • #71415
    ColtonJLong
    Participant

    Hey guys!
    Got a couple new homework assignment scripts, and some retakes as part of the same assignment!
    Rip into them, Im really trying to go h*****n improving!
    Thanks!

    AARP

    It’s right in your own backyard.
    While it may be hard to believe, roughly five million Americans don’t even know where their next meal will come from.
    In communities just like yours, there are many who need help.
    Join people across the country who are coming together with AARP Create the Good, to end hunger.
    Start today. It can be as easy as giving food or money to your local area food bank, or getting tips to start your own food drive.
    Whatever level of involvement is right for you, we’ve made it simple to find and help people in your area.
    So get involved. Go to http://www.createthegood.org/hunger.

    Red Cross Blanket

    You don’t think much about it
    You never dwell on how it was made
    It’s just a blanket after all
    But when everything else has been lost
    The comfort it provides.. is immeasurable
    The American Red Cross brings hope and help to people in need
    Every eight minutes every day
    So this season, give something that means something
    Support us at redcross.org.

    Cleaner Elections

    Smear campaigns…mud slinging…twisting the truth.
    Why do politicians resort to such underhanded tactics?
    Do they think it really helps their campaign?
    It’s u**y, uncalled for, and deceitful.
    So why do we allow them to continue?
    It’s time to level the playing field.
    You want our vote? Then focus on the issues that affect all of us.
    This election season, advocate for a clean election process.
    Paid for by the committee for cleaner elections.

    History Channel

    If you lived before our time, who would you be?
    Would you fight your brother for the rights of another? Who would you be?
    Would you find new dreams or create wonders?
    What if you could choose from a 1,000 yesterdays; a 1,000 lives, when the past was today and the new took your breath away.
    Who would you be? What would you feel? How would you live? Who would you love?
    Remembering every generation before us;
    Remembering for generations to come.
    The History Channel. Where the past comes alive.

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  • #71406
    John Trape
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I am attaching three narration recordings, supported by the scripts below, and would very much welcome any and all feedback.

    Kind regards,

    John

    1. Beethoven
    Of all the hundreds of symphonies that have been composed, none can rival in popularity or emotional interest the nine great symphonic works that Beethoven wrote. Beethoven took music off the pedestal of formal beauty, where Haydn and Mozart had left it, and immersed it in the whirlpool of life. He roughened it up until it began to do what he expected it to do … to express problems, evoke emotions, move and struggle exuberantly. More people can respond at once to a Beethoven symphony than to any other. Many have written fine symphonies, but Beethoven’s remain in a class by themselves, as invaluable a part of our heritage as are Shakespeare’s plays.

    2. 2012 Extinction
    The Maya, an ancient South American culture, predicted that time would end
    in a violent apocalypse on December 21, 2012. They created an elaborate
    astronomical calendar called “The Long Count,” which stops abruptly in
    2012. This date, which is also the winter equinox, coincides with an
    incredibly rare galactic alignment that happens once every 26,000 years.
    What did the Mayans think would happen when their calendar ended? And,
    were they joined by other cultures–from different parts of the world and in
    different centuries–all pointing to 2012 as a calamitous end time? The Hopi
    Indians and Eastern Hindu share similar calendars, which are remarkably
    synchronous. One counter-culture mystic even uses an Ancient Chinese
    philosophy to unlock the key to a 2012 prophecy. Nostradamus himself
    suggests the world is headed toward a coming cataclysm. What can we do to
    heed the warning of the Mayan apocalypse?

    3. This….is my voice.
    There is no music, and there are no sound effects…only the pure, clear sound, recorded for your ears.
    I am a voice over artist, a voice actor, a voice talent, and I can convey my message in many ways, in many tones and with many emotions.
    I can speak in a very light whisper, to share an intimate message with you. Or my voice can boom deeply, demanding respect from those who are listening. My voice can express sympathy to someone who has just experienced a great loss, or it can reflect the happiness one feels after having accomplished something great!
    I sit (or stand) before this tube constructed of metals, of plastics, of wire and of silicon, which listens patiently to me, as if it were alive like a mistress, hour after hour, day after day and night after night. It never judges me, however it is a reflection of me….one which is neither vengeful, nor forgiving.
    I am a voice actor…..and this is my voice.

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    • #71456
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi John, these are all GREAT! Really good pacing, flow and enunciation for all of them. Your voice is really nice, clear and deep and is very pleasant to hear. My favorite of these three was Beethoven – you really took your time to tell the story and I wanted to hear more! The only comment I would have on the Mayan script is the pronunciation of “2012”. I wonder if it should be said “twenty-twelve” or “two-thousand and twelve” as you did. You stayed consistent throughout, so it’s just more of a question on my end in general. I have very little criticism for you, only that this is really good stuff and I want to hear an audiobook soon!!! I’ve been listening to you these last few months and you really sound polished. Very good!

      Mary

      • #71500
        John Trape
        Participant

        Hi Mary,

        Thank you very much for your support. I apologise for this late response. Yes, your comment on dates was spot on – my coach made the same point. Thank you again!

        John

  • #71403
    ecbrown220
    Participant

    If possible please offer some feedback and be brutally honest and critical.

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    • #71431
      Logan DFD
      Participant

      You have a nice, deep voice, which fits perfectly with the script you read. I think you should add more variation to your pitch, and try to relax when reading your script. Also, the recording skipped in one or two places, so you might want to look into that. Good work!

  • #71363
    Lex Herber
    Participant

    Hello,

    I have recently recorded my first character demos (gaming & animation).

    They were to recorded in my home studio while being live directed by a pro in London, who then mixed, mastered & sent them back.

    I would love to know the feelings of the international community here.

    Please also, feel free to check out my website which I managed to build solo, with negative web design skills!
    http://www.lexherbervoiceover.com

    Thank you 🙏

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  • #71358
    brucem
    Participant

    Hi everyone,
    I have some scripts that I’m working on for a narration demo; please take a listen when you get a chance. Any and all feedback welcome!
    Thanks
    Bruce

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    • #71405
      ecbrown220
      Participant

      Hi Bruce,

      I listened to your SamCookBio file. It sounded awesome my only critique would be on your sentences the ended with a “s”. Be careful to not drag the “s” too much at then end of your sentence. Otherwise it was great.

  • #71326
    Leann
    Participant

    Hello there! I am uploading all of these in preparation for my upcoming session and hope maybe someone may have some time to give a little feedback? 🙂 I look forward to hearing any tips or tricks. I seem to be having a hard time with cutting and pasting using Audacity and finding the right levels. Give it to me straight here, folks! I can take it. 😉
    Thanks <3

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    • #71352
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Leann,
      All of your reads were very clear. An overall suggestion I would offer is to relax more, as you sounded kind of careful, particularly in the VOCorp-trainer read, and also try different ways to make it more conversational. Sometime it helps to ad lib a fake conversation with another (imaginary) person, and then roll right into the script, and see if it helps you continue with that conversational tone. I can relate to the Audacity challenges – I found that the DAW/Audacity class that they offer will give you the key settings to aim for. Good job!

    • #71344
      Oktober10
      Participant

      Hi Leann, I really love the tone of your voice. You annunciate well and have a clear voice. I like the expression in your voice as all. Friendly, authoritative and believable. nice work!

    • #71331
      Leann
      Participant

      Oops! One more… 😉

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  • #71316
    nettipo1
    Participant

    Hi All,

    I find that sometimes I don’t know what exactly I’m trying to do in my practice sessions. Probably doesn’t help for me to practice too many times in one sitting. Anyway, here are two different types of reads. Arm and Hammer is meant to be light and humorous, and PPG Paints (practice#2) is supposed to be more “real”–although I personally think it sounds rather gloomy. I’ve also included PPG paint practice#1 for comparison. I am open to any thoughts, suggestions, opinions on which version you like more. Thank you.

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