[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[LSlagle519]

Hi, everyone!

I decided to practice a few script adaptations I wrote in my spare time and I wanted some feedback on each. One is for the Landmark Recovery of Lexington and the other is a short revision I made for Lindor Truffles. I don’t know if I can pull off the seductive tone naturally, but I felt it was better to try it out!

Landmark Recovery:
It feels like an escape…until it starts hurting you. It takes control of your life and destroys everything you have until there’s nothing left! It’s a poison as deadly as the flu…but you can still reach out. You don’t have to face drug addiction alone. Call Landmark Recovery of Lexington at 859-212-6734 and start working towards your cure for drug addiction.

Lindor Truffles:
Your girlfriend doesn’t want some typical name-brand chocolate. She wants irresistibly smooth, luscious chocolate that melts in her mouth! She wants Lindor Truffles! The good news? You can get an assorted bag of 15 truffles for just $10 at your local Kentucky store. What are you waiting for?

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[michaelflemingvoice]

The first thing I like is that you’re finding the moods that go with the scripts. On the Landmark script, I liked the 2nd half more than the first. You did well in conveying that you care. The 1st part where you describe what’s going on seems a little too harsh. I think (and who am I, right?) that using the same emotion from the 2nd half for the 1st half as well could be effective. On the truffles script, the “…irresistibly smooth, luscious…” part was well done. The rest was kind of flat. I know for me, in my mind I think I’m giving a lot of variation in my voice, but when I hear it back, I have to remind myself to go over the top because my over the top is what everyone else hears as normal. Other than that I would look up some enunciation exercises and be aware of rushing. Keep ’em coming!

[Voiceoverike]

Hi Everyone,

Here is my first homework assignment. I’d really appreciate any feedback.
Thanks very much!

Ike

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[michaelflemingvoice]

Congrats on taking the steps to get your VO career going! Love your tone. You pacing is fine. Your voice conveys confidence. It feels like there’s something you’re holding back. Maybe your breathing? And it seems like it can affect your pronunciation at times. Keep up the good work!

[airbear57]

Good afternoon all,

I am back with another HW commercial script. Any feedback y’all have to offer will be greatly appreciated!

FabFitFun
8 amazing full-size products for one incredible price. The FabFitFun box is here. Sign up for yours today at fabfitfun.com. Use code WOW for $10 off your first box.

Thanks so much,
Arin

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[michaelflemingvoice]

Disclaimer: I’m no one. Take what I say with that in mind. 🙂

The first thing I noticed was the echo in your room. You’ll want to assess what you can put up to dampen the sound. Secondly, I loved your pacing, but there might be too much space between your sentences. I also hear the potential you have in making this a fun read. Are you smiling in this read? If not, that would be the first thing. Secondly, imagine that you just bought this fun box and you are so excited as you tell your best friend about this amazing deal! I love your voice! Punch it up a bit!

[Luis Ortiz Jr.]

Hello all! Testing new mic and pre.. still concerned I haven’t totally controlled the rooms sound. Please let me know. Any feedback is appreciated.

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[airbear57]

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a wonderful New Years!

I have attached a practice commercial take, and I would appreciate any feedback 🙂

Visit Winston-Salem
Winston-Salem, North Carolina is a city with a rich history of reinventing itself. Here you can wine and dine back in time. Or raise a glass to the future. That’s why you’ll love visiting Winston-Salem. Our past is present. Our future is bright. And our city is yours to explore. Look forward. Travel back to Winston-Salem.

Thanks so much,
Arin

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[Garprocks]

Hi Arin! I think your pace is excellent and your voice very natural. My constructive criticism is that I feel like you used a comma instead of a period after “back in time” and I would suggest that “Look forward” be more of an affirmative statement and having your voice drop on “travel back”, rather than rise up. Have a Blessed day!

[SteveVO]

One more for this evening – an intro into a story about Hemingway. Thanks for any feedback.

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[Mark.OD]

The Gomorrah piece VO is very effective. Pace and tone were perfect. The music overpowered the spot somewhat. Effective pacing on the hockey spots, especially the first one, but again I thought the background was a bit overpowering/ distracting. Nice variation in VO between the two pieces.

[SteveVO]

If you’ve ever wondered how to play what’s called a “flam” in drumming, take a listen to this script. Let me know what you think. Thanks,Steve.

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[1stassi]

Hi guys
I hope I’m doing okay. I’m on my 4 session
Here are two recordings I did for homework. Let me know what you think.

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[airbear57]

Hi,

Your reads were really great 🙂

Motel 6: Your comedic timing was impeccable throughout! One potential suggestion I have would be: Lean into/give a little more emphasis on the first’ Motel 6.’ so listeners know and remember who the commercial is for. Other than that, great job!

Pizza Hut:: I really felt your excitement and you kept it throughout the take which I thought was great! That being said, one suggestion I have would be to maybe vary the pace of the read, especially in the middle around “the ultimate 2 for 1” and “the mozzarella poppers pizza,” that way you can speed up again when you tell them to hurry before it’s gone. Also not sure if you were looking for any editing suggestions, but I would remove the deep breath at the beginning, as it was a little distracting. Otherwise, great job!

[1stassi]

Thank you @airbear57
I appreciate the suggestions and will take that into account.

[iSynge]

Hello! I’m uploading these recordings here for feedback before my next coaching session (I actually have another couple I was thinking of recording, but I didn’t have time to do them today)

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[1stassi]

Hi Synge,

I’m really tasting the pineapples on the your Freshii recording!
Your voice is so inviting.

[Author]

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