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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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A little commercial read practice. Thank you for your feedback!
Disney Princess Pop Up Games:
New Disney Princess Pop-Up Magic games! Once upon a time…not far away…three games popped up where the Disney Princesses played! With a spin to the castle they came, and won this pop-up magic game! New Disney Princess Pop-Up Magic Castle Games. Cinderella’s Coach and Tangled Tower Games each sold separately. And now… The journey continues at your local Stride Rite store! Purchase a pair of Stride Rite Disney Princess shoes and get a free Cinderella’s Coach game! While supplies last. But don’t wait until the midnight hour! This deal is only from February 21st to the 23rd! Locations may vary.
McDonalds Salads:
Me. Myself. My salad. Okay. This is it. This is the salad for me. The Grilled Chicken Caesar at McDonald’s. I am so into all the different kinds of lettuce and the cute little tomatoes. But what really shouts my name is all that warm grilled chicken. I drizzle on the low fat Newman’s Own all natural Balsamic Vinaigrette and I am one happy woman. Want to hear me go on and on about the crispy cobb or bacon ranch salad too? I’m lovin’ it.
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Hi Courtney. I listened to both of your reads, and wanted to share my thoughts.
Disney – Great tone, great job with the tongue twisting fourth sentence! Also you differentiate nicely between sentences, and the recording quality is very good. Great job.
McDonald’s – Great differentiation in the first couple of sentences. Also great tone. Hit the key words splendidly. Recording quality is very good. Great job.
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Nicely done, Courtney….! Two totally different kinds of reads and I think you really rendered them both well. The almost child-like Disney script and a more smooth, mature McDonalds script. Well played…!!
TimG
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Hi Courtney,
Both reads sound really great. I could hear the playfulness and excitement in the Disney read and the warmth and inviting nature of the McDonalds read. One thing I did hear is your pronunciation of Vinaigrette. I think you have an extra vowel. I hear “vinagerette” rather than “vinagrette.” Other than that, great stuff.
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Hello,
Just a few practice scripts.
Black Forest
Hello and welcome to travel beans. I’m Emma and behind the camera is Alex, and today we want to show you why you need to visit The Black Forest. The Black Forest is a mountain range located in southwest Germany covering an area of around 6,000 square kilometers. It is known for its dense dark forests and charming villages and is extremely popular amongst outdoor enthusiasts year round.Cancer
Im Dr Judy Bowie, a breast surgeon at Mayo clinic. In this video we will cover the basics of breast cancer. What is it? Who gets it? What are the symptoms? And What are the diagnosis & treatment options? Weather you are looking for answers for yourself or someone you love, we’re here to give you the best information available. Breast cancer is a relatively common type of cancer. In fact, it is the most common cancer world wide and the most common cancer diagnosed in the US. Currently, nearly 4 million women in the US alone are diagnosed with breast cancer. -
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Hi Steve,
Sounds great. I actually have a question – are you using any effects on your voice? The audio quality sounds great and something I am working on myself.
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I’d appreciate some helpful feedback on these two commercial scripts I’ve been practicing with! Thanks!
HelloFresh
Choose dinner that comes with less and gives you more.
Less kitchen chaos and more five star recipes that are easy to make and love.
Less shopping and more pre-portioned ingredients delivered to your door.
Less stress, less mess.
Umm. No promises on the less mess thing, but definitely less what’s for dinner blues.
And who doesn’t love that?
So gather round.
Because this dinner that comes with so much less really gives you so much more.
Join America’s #1 mealkit at Hellofresh.com.
Get $80 off plus free shipping with code TV80 during our labor day flash sale.Earthbound Farm
Here at Earthbound Farm, we don’t use any harmful chemical pesticides.
All of our organic salads, fruits and vegetables are grown in harmony with nature.
And while farming organically may cost more, we think you’ll find Earthbound Farm organic produce is an infinitely better value.
Because with each crisp, delicious bite, you can take comfort in knowing you’re protecting your family’s health.
Now and for years to come.
Earthbound Farm.
Food to live by.-
Hi Logan! On the HelloFresh read place more intention and purpose behind what you are saying. Particularly on the “Umm. No promises on the less mess thing, but definitely less what’s for dinner blues.” You want it to sound intentional, almost like an after thought rather than a mistake. Let that intention flow into the sentence. Pacing is good. Make sure you find the key words to place the emphasis on. You don’t have to hit them hard. A lot of the time the word will do the work for you. Just knowing that the word is important will add all the emphasis you need.
Very enjoyable read on the Earthbound Farm copy. You let the words do the work. You can really hear it on words like “crisp” and “delicious.” I’d see if you can find a little more flow and continuity to each sentence. Know where the sentence is going. More legato, less staccato.
I hope this helps! Happy practicing!
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Good Evening,
Below are my recordings for my 5th Narration VO coaching session. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you for your time. Please find the scripts below:
Advance Technologies
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.Cancun
Rulers of the ancient Mayan civilizations came here to see the beauty of this land … a place where the turquoise Caribbean Sea caresses the beautiful sandy beaches. They came to partake a view reserved then only for royalty. Today, more than 1,500 years later, this same spot is one of the most popular vacation destinations in the world. This is Cancun. Located at the northeast tip of the Yucatan Peninsula, Cancun is easily accessible from major gateway cities in Canada, Mexico, and the United States. Just under a 2-hour flight from Houston or Miami. Visitors will find an abundance of sports in Cancun. Jet skiing and water skiing are popular for the novice and pro alike.Stellaluna
The dark leafy tangle of branches caught Stellaluna as she fell. One twig was small enough for Stellaluna’s tiny feet. Wrapping her wings about her, she clutched the thin branch, trembling with cold and fear.
“Mother,” Stellaluna squeaked. “Where are you?”
By daybreak, the baby bat could hold on no longer. Down, down again she dropped.
*pageturn*
*Flump!* Stellaluna landed headfirst in a soft downy nest, startling the three baby birds who lived there.
Stellaluna quickly clambered from the nest and hung out of sight below it. She listened to the babble of the three birds.
“What was *that?”* cried Flap.
“I don’t know, but it’s hanging by its feet,” chirped Flitter.
“Shhh! Here comes Mama,” hissed Pip.
*pageturn*
Many, many times that day Mama Bird flew away, always returning with food for her babies.
Stellaluna was terribly hungry – but *not* for the crawly things Mama Bird brought.
Finally, though, the little bat could bear it no longer. She climbed into the nest, closed her eyes, and opened her mouth.
*Plop!* In dropped a big green grasshopper!-
Hi Bevy,
I love your tone on Advance Technologies; your speed and fluctuations are great. If I had to get technical I would say that I can hear some feedback and your p’s are a bit poppy. On Stellaluna, your recording level seems to be a bit high, I heard the sound crack a bit when you cried Mother. But it was a great read and I would love to hear you read the whole book!
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Alright everyone it’s been a while, but I am finally submitting my homework for session 5. This is it! The session before my demo. Let me know what you all think!
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Hi Jospeh, I really enjoyed your reads as well! Engaging and connected with a nice, rich tone. Very nice! The only other feedback I have is that the part of the Earhart script where it says “the p***c adored the pioneering pilot” (tough line!) sounds a tad bit forced. Probably because you were consciously trying to avoid plosives, which you did.
In Cosmic, perhaps add a brief pause before “But how did this all come about” to improve the timing.
Best of luck with the demo!
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Hi Jospeh, I really enjoyed your reads and thought that they were engaging. The only constructive feedback I have is with the Cosmic narration, to me it sounded like you were stating “scorched deserts” as a question rather than a statement so it impacted the flow a bit, but you picked up in the end for a strong finish. Best wishes with your final class and demo recording!
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Hi Everyone!
Please find attached my recent commercial recordings for homework. Any feedback you provide is greatly appreciated.
Advil
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.Waterpik
If you floss you know what a two-handed tug of war feels like. Which is why we at Waterpik are introducing the Flosser. At a speed of 10,000 gentle strokes per minute, its nylon tip effectively removes plaque above and below the gumline. Making it a fast, easy and more convenient way to keep gums their healthiest, and teeth their cleanest. With no strings attached.SWK
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SwKeys, I liked both recordings. Your opening inflection on the question, “Muscle aches” was great! I felt like that set the tone for the commercial. Furthermore, I think your diction and pacing are quite good. The only constructive critique I have would be at the beginning of Waterpik. It sounded like you rushed trough “two handed tug-o-war” and it didn’t come out clearly. Otherwise, good job!
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Thanks for the feedback @joseph ewing! I really appreciate it!
swk
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I thought both reads were great! One constructive feedback for the Advil, the Advanced was read like Add-vanced, I would soften that a little bit, but other than that your tone, pace and delivery were solid.
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Thanks @Bevy! for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
SWK
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Hello! I’m uploading another pair of recordings I wanted feedback on before my next coaching session.
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