Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #73365
    airbear57
    Participant

    Good afternoon all,

    I am back with another HW commercial script. Any feedback y’all have to offer will be greatly appreciated!

    FabFitFun
    8 amazing full-size products for one incredible price. The FabFitFun box is here. Sign up for yours today at fabfitfun.com. Use code WOW for $10 off your first box.

    Thanks so much,
    Arin

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    • #73422
      michaelflemingvoice
      Participant

      Disclaimer: I’m no one. Take what I say with that in mind. 🙂

      The first thing I noticed was the echo in your room. You’ll want to assess what you can put up to dampen the sound. Secondly, I loved your pacing, but there might be too much space between your sentences. I also hear the potential you have in making this a fun read. Are you smiling in this read? If not, that would be the first thing. Secondly, imagine that you just bought this fun box and you are so excited as you tell your best friend about this amazing deal! I love your voice! Punch it up a bit!

  • #73345
    Luis Ortiz Jr.
    Participant

    Hello all! Testing new mic and pre.. still concerned I haven’t totally controlled the rooms sound. Please let me know. Any feedback is appreciated.

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  • #73342
    airbear57
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I hope you all had a wonderful New Years!

    I have attached a practice commercial take, and I would appreciate any feedback 🙂

    Visit Winston-Salem
    Winston-Salem, North Carolina is a city with a rich history of reinventing itself. Here you can wine and dine back in time. Or raise a glass to the future. That’s why you’ll love visiting Winston-Salem. Our past is present. Our future is bright. And our city is yours to explore. Look forward. Travel back to Winston-Salem.

    Thanks so much,
    Arin

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    • #73357
      Garprocks
      Participant

      Hi Arin! I think your pace is excellent and your voice very natural. My constructive criticism is that I feel like you used a comma instead of a period after “back in time” and I would suggest that “Look forward” be more of an affirmative statement and having your voice drop on “travel back”, rather than rise up. Have a Blessed day!

  • #73340
    SteveVO
    Participant

    One more for this evening – an intro into a story about Hemingway. Thanks for any feedback.

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  • #73339
    Mark.OD
    Participant

    The Gomorrah piece VO is very effective. Pace and tone were perfect. The music overpowered the spot somewhat. Effective pacing on the hockey spots, especially the first one, but again I thought the background was a bit overpowering/ distracting. Nice variation in VO between the two pieces.

  • #73336
    SteveVO
    Participant

    If you’ve ever wondered how to play what’s called a “flam” in drumming, take a listen to this script. Let me know what you think. Thanks,Steve.

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  • #73332
    1stassi
    Participant

    Hi guys
    I hope I’m doing okay. I’m on my 4 session
    Here are two recordings I did for homework. Let me know what you think.

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    • #73367
      airbear57
      Participant

      Hi,

      Your reads were really great 🙂

      Motel 6: Your comedic timing was impeccable throughout! One potential suggestion I have would be: Lean into/give a little more emphasis on the first’ Motel 6.’ so listeners know and remember who the commercial is for. Other than that, great job!

      Pizza Hut:: I really felt your excitement and you kept it throughout the take which I thought was great! That being said, one suggestion I have would be to maybe vary the pace of the read, especially in the middle around “the ultimate 2 for 1” and “the mozzarella poppers pizza,” that way you can speed up again when you tell them to hurry before it’s gone. Also not sure if you were looking for any editing suggestions, but I would remove the deep breath at the beginning, as it was a little distracting. Otherwise, great job!

      • #73568
        1stassi
        Participant

        Thank you @airbear57
        I appreciate the suggestions and will take that into account.

  • #73320
    iSynge
    Participant

    Hello! I’m uploading these recordings here for feedback before my next coaching session (I actually have another couple I was thinking of recording, but I didn’t have time to do them today)

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    • #73335
      1stassi
      Participant

      Hi Synge,

      I’m really tasting the pineapples on the your Freshii recording!
      Your voice is so inviting.

  • #73315
    Esandyii
    Participant

    Happy Monday and Happy New Year! Attached is Homework for Bruder for this week.
    Comments welcome.
    Best,
    ES

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  • #73286
    tojo44
    Participant

    Hi all! Posting my homework before my next coaching session.

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