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Hi Steve! I really enjoyed your performance, and would encourage you to push the “conversational read” even more. Pick a person you know who would be excited about this and then “have a conversation” about it to him or her.
You may also benefit from either a desser or slightly reduced gain on you mic because the sibilance is pretty live in my ears at least.
Hi Steve. I really like the clarity of your voice. The tone of your read was also very good. I’m finding it difficult to critique, but if I had to mention one thing I’d say the rhythm/pace could be picked up a bit. Again, I liked it very much and could definitely see your voice in this spot. I would just say a little more energy. LITTLE more… lol
Good clarity of voice! For a commercial read, this performance would need to be spoken a little faster. Maybe work on Pace, Speed, Breath Support, and be your natural self, like on overdrive with more energy to the performance?
First off I want to say that I have been a fan of Edge for years! I’m excited to dive in and participate in the forums and hearing from you all. Thank you for your time and effort in listening and helping me out!
I am looking to revamp my commercial demo but would like your input on the types/ styles of commercials that my voice is suited best for. I have attached samples of a couple commercial reads for that purpose. I have also attached my animation/ character demo and would like to hear your impressions and thoughts!
@SteveVO I apologize, I meant this reply to be on my post. I did not mean to attach my work to your post! That being said, I did listen to your audio files and wan impressed with your audio clarity. My one suggestion would be to work on finding the melody in your performances, even with this more “flat” type of read.
Hello gang,
I’ve attached 3 commercial scripts here and welcome all feedback. You guys are definitely helping me get better and I greatly appreciate it!
Thanks,
Chris
JC Penney 6
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Honey Bunches of Oats
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.
Hi Chris! I enjoyed your performances, and definitely believe you have a great voice and the sky is the limit for you. I believe your Honey Bunches read was your strongest and your weakest was JC Penny. I felt like the JC Penny one was “performed” or “read” and not as natural as your other two. Perhaps because it was a longer read? Own the script and then just let it flow!
Thank you for the feedback. It is greatly appreciated. I’m continuing to work on sounding natural and hope to nail it sometime before I’m pushing up daisies, lol.
Great sounding overall. Looking at Invisalign the first “you” sounds a little like “chew”. Also there is a very apparent breathe at the end 00:26 which could be softened.
Hello Everyone, I would love to get your feedback on my commercial reads below. Let me know your thoughts! Much appreciated as always.
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Legos Creative Builder
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These are two recordings I did following my last coaching session. I’m particularly proud of my editing on this one (removing gaps and breaths), but there are still plosives. Nevertheless, I’m excited for any feedback the Community has. I appreciate it!
Hi Joseph. I really like your voice and pace – just a couple of thoughts:
On Dublin,
I especially like “ever burgeoning” – not easy to say clearly.
I would pause after “home to great writers” and before “like”.
You really emphasize “and” a couple of times, and in my opinion, they should be de-emphasized.
On Alaska, “this official” runs together a little bit.
I’m not feeling an excitement to go like I want to feel when listening to your invitation. It might even be enough to really emphasize planning a trip to “ALASKA”; that’s exciting!!!