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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi all,
This is my first homework assignment. I am feeling super excited, hopeful, and the “good” kind of nervous!!! All feedback is appreciated. Have a safe and happy day, week, and month!On the Revlon voice-over, I was not satisfied with the part that reads “…where it’s needed most. Every time.” What do you all think?
Six flags(NO!): Kids hate the word no. As in no, you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!
Revlon: Funny thing being a redhead…when I was a kid, I just wanted to be like everybody else, now it’s one of the things that makes me me. Get your best color. Revlon High Dimension Hair Color, so precise it takes only 10 minutes to deliver rich, dimensional color where it’s needed most. Every time. With deep conditioners that gently protect so your hair stays soft and shiny, and beautiful. I like being me.. 10 minutes to beautiful. Revlon. Be unforgettable.
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Hi, Rebecca! First, I love your natural voice! You sound naturally cheery and self-assured and it works well with these reads! Here’s my individual observations for each:
Six Flags: The enthusiasm works with this (who doesn’t get excited about a trip to Six Flags?!). However, it sounds like you’re trying to wring it out from start to finish and it feels forced. Think back to your childhood days when your parents said “no.” How did you feel about being told “no” when you asked for something? Disgust? Frustration? Dread? If you start with that familiar feeling, it will make the turn to, “Yes! You CAN go to Six Flags and have all the fun and excitement you wanted for so long! Yay!” stronger.
Revlon: This sounded more natural and I thought the pronunciation of being as “bein'” was a nice touch! One thing that might help with this read is what I will call “The Response Method.” Your partner may be asking questions as you talk about the product with f****l expressions or brief questions. If you can figure out where those questioning remarks or looks are, it will strengthen the read and make it sound more like “I think this will help strengthen/beautify your hair!” instead of “Here is something I use. You should try it.”
You have a solid foundation for both of these. With a bit of polish, I can see you doing a commercial for one of these companies/products down the line! Keep up the good work!
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Hiya! Just looking for any feedback anyone might have to offer, this is a possible script I will be using for my demo. I’m new to voice acting and appreciate anything you might have to say.
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Hi Andres,
From the get-go, the read sounds quite confident, which seems suitable for this specific copy. It sounds like you were connected to your copy, as I could hear slight nuances throughout the read, which is nice. The enthusiasm didn’t sound forced at all, and it sounded quite conversational, while also having a professional quality to it. But, for the “that idea we borrowed from nature” part, I’d agree with Rebekah, as the pause (I struggle with this myself) seems to take away from the natural conversational quality of the read. But, overall, great job!
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I liked the variation of tone among the three pieces. My coach is trying to get me to use silence less when transitioning. He would like to hear tonal change instead. That said, there were a couple of places in the reads that might be smoother with this in mind. Great energy and diction! You use your very peasant voice appropriately for the each topic.
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Hi! Your voice is very clear and you enunciate your words well! You also have a naturally high pitch for reads, which will help tremendously for high-energy reads! One point I want to address before going into each piece is tone. It sounds similar through all of the reads even when the situations are different. Identify who it is you’re addressing in each of these reads and why you’re talking about the product or service (more on that in the individual notes).
Alaska (Holland America): Strong start on “Before.” It helps inform the audience that there’s something else they’ll want to do so their trip to Alaska is more special than a standard drive around the countryside (or ride on the railcar). One thing that will also help is to switch emphasis to “…you have to call Holland America.” Remember: You want them to enjoy the experience as much as possible by making them feel as if they can do this to make it more fun rather than a process they have to go through before they can go on the trip.
Harvey Home Theatre: This is an example piece of copy where you may want to play with punctuation rather than follow it uniformly. One question: How smart is he? Is he really so smart that he can do more than just cardiac surgery with ease? Or are there things even he has trouble with? That can help inform the tone for this read–I can feel a sassy quality from this copy just reading it. The heightened energy does work when you talk about it to your audience–after all, you want to transport them to a world where they control their immersion, don’t you?
Waterpik: This read sounded the most natural out of the three and feels like the best fit for your natural voice! Again, think about the tone of the copy. Think about how much of a struggle it is to manually floss between every single tooth. But, you have a solution! A strong start can always carry through to the ending when you know what your lead-in line is (what happened or was said immediately before you say the first word).
Out of all of these, the Waterpik and Alaska reads work best for your natural voice. Keep working some more on these to get a more conversational read!
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Hello all,
Just submitting my second book narration for feedback, I appreciate it..
Thanks!
Where the Wild Things Are:
The night wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind
and another
and another
his mother called him “WILD THING!”
and Max said “I’LL EAT YOU UP!”
so he was sent to bed without eating anything.
That very night in Max’s room a forest grew
and grewand
grew until his ceiling hung with vines
and the walls became the world all around
and an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max
and he sailed off through night and day
and in and out of weeks
and almost over a year
to where the wild things are.
And when he came to the place where the wild things are
they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth
and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
till Max said “BE STILL!”
and tamed with the magic trick
of staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking once
and they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all
and made him king of all wild things.
“And now,” cried Max, “let the wild rumpus start!”
“Now stop!” Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper.
And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where
someone loved him best of all.
Then all around from far away across the world
he smelled good things to eat
so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.
But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t gowe’ll
eat you up-we love you so!”
And Max said, “No!”
The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth
and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye
and sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks
and through a day
and into the night of his very own room
where he found his supper waiting for him
and it was still hot. -
Hi you guys. I was pretty excited to do this script i just hope I sound good on the recording. Glad to hear you guys critique’s.
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Hey Stas! Nice voice! My impression? Look into getting your recording space set up. The Movie Gallery spot sounds like you’re talking to someone in a pub, BUT that’s good because you sound natural in the presentation! Perhaps slow down a bit on both and really enunciate words; watch the S’s and the P’s (pop filter).
Rock On!
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Hello ladies & gentlemen
Here is another homework assignment. Take a listen and let me know what you guys think.
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Ok… a couple of other reads for homework. The Chevy one went towards the promo style which I need to work on. Thanks!
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Marco;
Hey, I have the sense you’re trying to go with voices you have heard in commercials, or this just may be you?
Oh yea, k**l those pauses for sure, make it flow and use some deflection up and down to delineate lists of things.
Learning to edit breath sounds out as well as the pauses, with your recording software?
Rock On! -
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Hi Marco
I absolutely LOVE your voice! I listened to the history channel recording. I thought your tone definitely went well with the script. However, I believe the pauses in between the words were to long. If this was for a sleep commercial then I would love the pauses, but because it’s a history channel I believe there should be less pause in between. Hope that makes sense.
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Hey everybody. Working on energy shifting in commercial reads. Feedback is always welcomed! Thanks!
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Hi Caryn – Sounds really great! I’m a newbie but noticed that some of your words, like “a” in the “Weelearn” script, and “to” in the JC Penny script sound like you are reading. Try to use the “uh” sound for “a”, and “tuh” for “to”. Also, for “Buy more save more sale”, I wouldn’t pause after “Buy more” because it seems like the “Buy more save more” is the name of the sale and is one unit.
Just my 2 cents from a very newbie – so take my advice with a grain of salt.
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Het Caryn,
I loved your Weelearn read. I can learn from your prosody, and warm, reassuring tone. I liked the pace and was engaged throughout. As a newbie it was hard for me to point out an area for improvement, except to enunciate the word “confidently” more, I heard “Cofidently”.
I liked JCPenney too, real and relatable. I would stress on the key word “two” and use distinct tones for the right side and left side lines. Also try a big smile on the word happy. Great read overall.
Rosy
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