[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[naderaliamer]

Hello everyone! Homework again before my next training session. Thanks in advance for your feedback!

Texicon Family

“Hey there new employee, or should we say, new family member. As a member of the Texicon family, we want to formally introduce you to your new home, but not too formal because that’s just not our style. Now you’ve already got your new uniforms and met with our incredible CEO, or head of the family as we like to call him. Now it’s time for me to bring you up to speed on what your days are going to be filled in with. Make sure you grab some of the complimentary cake you have in front of you, we love cake here so you’re going to have to get used to that and see what the rest of your time at the Texicon household has in store for you!”

3 COM Corporation

Nearly twenty years ago, 3Com Corporation launched a new industry by developing the first technology for networking personal computers. Today, 3Com is a company that maintains its leadership role with innovative solutions spanning the scope of communications. From the global enterprise to the neighborhood business, from the Internet point of presence to the home office, 3Com systems and products put computing resources within easy reach of millions of users worldwide. 3Com combines cutting edge research and development with world-class manufacturing facilities, and international service and support.

Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate

Would you like to buy a house?
Maybe it’s your first house or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[iSynge]

Hi there! For starters, let me just say I love your voice. I do have a few bits of constructive criticism for you, however. I’ll admit that I am no professional in this regard (yet) but this is my honest impression of your recordings.

Your biggest problem overall, I’d say, is that while your voice would be absolutely perfect for an audiobook or similar type of narration, it doesn’t work as well with the scripts you’ve chosen, which seem to be meant to be more friendly or personal. In addition, the ‘Would you like to buy a house’ one seems fairly too slow-paced, when it feels like a faster pace would work better with the tone of the script. That being said, I was pleased when immediately afterwards I went on to listen to the 3Com one and discovered you were capable of a faster pace – it still had a few awkwardly long pauses here and there, but overall it was much better.

All in all, I think you have a lot of potential – I’m unaware of whether you’re aiming for a particular field or not, but this seems like a good area to work on. You’re doing great work – keep it up!

[pharlin]

Your voice is very pleasant to listen to. Excellent recording quality (deep & rich).
The suggestion that I would have is to try and make the reads more conversational.
My coach has me envisioning a specific friend sitting in front of me that I am talking
to when I record. This has helped me make my reads smoother & more personal. Hope this
will be useful for you also as you develop your voice talent!

[naderaliamer]

Awesome feedback. Thanks guys!

[LSlagle519]

Hi, everyone!

I decided to practice a few script adaptations I wrote in my spare time and I wanted some feedback on each. One is for the Landmark Recovery of Lexington and the other is a short revision I made for Lindor Truffles. I don’t know if I can pull off the seductive tone naturally, but I felt it was better to try it out!

Landmark Recovery:
It feels like an escape…until it starts hurting you. It takes control of your life and destroys everything you have until there’s nothing left! It’s a poison as deadly as the flu…but you can still reach out. You don’t have to face drug addiction alone. Call Landmark Recovery of Lexington at 859-212-6734 and start working towards your cure for drug addiction.

Lindor Truffles:
Your girlfriend doesn’t want some typical name-brand chocolate. She wants irresistibly smooth, luscious chocolate that melts in her mouth! She wants Lindor Truffles! The good news? You can get an assorted bag of 15 truffles for just $10 at your local Kentucky store. What are you waiting for?

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[michaelflemingvoice]

The first thing I like is that you’re finding the moods that go with the scripts. On the Landmark script, I liked the 2nd half more than the first. You did well in conveying that you care. The 1st part where you describe what’s going on seems a little too harsh. I think (and who am I, right?) that using the same emotion from the 2nd half for the 1st half as well could be effective. On the truffles script, the “…irresistibly smooth, luscious…” part was well done. The rest was kind of flat. I know for me, in my mind I think I’m giving a lot of variation in my voice, but when I hear it back, I have to remind myself to go over the top because my over the top is what everyone else hears as normal. Other than that I would look up some enunciation exercises and be aware of rushing. Keep ’em coming!

[Voiceoverike]

Hi Everyone,

Here is my first homework assignment. I’d really appreciate any feedback.
Thanks very much!

Ike

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[michaelflemingvoice]

Congrats on taking the steps to get your VO career going! Love your tone. You pacing is fine. Your voice conveys confidence. It feels like there’s something you’re holding back. Maybe your breathing? And it seems like it can affect your pronunciation at times. Keep up the good work!

[airbear57]

Good afternoon all,

I am back with another HW commercial script. Any feedback y’all have to offer will be greatly appreciated!

FabFitFun
8 amazing full-size products for one incredible price. The FabFitFun box is here. Sign up for yours today at fabfitfun.com. Use code WOW for $10 off your first box.

Thanks so much,
Arin

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[michaelflemingvoice]

Disclaimer: I’m no one. Take what I say with that in mind. 🙂

The first thing I noticed was the echo in your room. You’ll want to assess what you can put up to dampen the sound. Secondly, I loved your pacing, but there might be too much space between your sentences. I also hear the potential you have in making this a fun read. Are you smiling in this read? If not, that would be the first thing. Secondly, imagine that you just bought this fun box and you are so excited as you tell your best friend about this amazing deal! I love your voice! Punch it up a bit!

[Luis Ortiz Jr.]

Hello all! Testing new mic and pre.. still concerned I haven’t totally controlled the rooms sound. Please let me know. Any feedback is appreciated.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[airbear57]

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a wonderful New Years!

I have attached a practice commercial take, and I would appreciate any feedback 🙂

Visit Winston-Salem
Winston-Salem, North Carolina is a city with a rich history of reinventing itself. Here you can wine and dine back in time. Or raise a glass to the future. That’s why you’ll love visiting Winston-Salem. Our past is present. Our future is bright. And our city is yours to explore. Look forward. Travel back to Winston-Salem.

Thanks so much,
Arin

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Garprocks]

Hi Arin! I think your pace is excellent and your voice very natural. My constructive criticism is that I feel like you used a comma instead of a period after “back in time” and I would suggest that “Look forward” be more of an affirmative statement and having your voice drop on “travel back”, rather than rise up. Have a Blessed day!

[SteveVO]

One more for this evening – an intro into a story about Hemingway. Thanks for any feedback.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Mark.OD]

The Gomorrah piece VO is very effective. Pace and tone were perfect. The music overpowered the spot somewhat. Effective pacing on the hockey spots, especially the first one, but again I thought the background was a bit overpowering/ distracting. Nice variation in VO between the two pieces.

[SteveVO]

If you’ve ever wondered how to play what’s called a “flam” in drumming, take a listen to this script. Let me know what you think. Thanks,Steve.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[1stassi]

Hi guys
I hope I’m doing okay. I’m on my 4 session
Here are two recordings I did for homework. Let me know what you think.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[airbear57]

Hi,

Your reads were really great 🙂

Motel 6: Your comedic timing was impeccable throughout! One potential suggestion I have would be: Lean into/give a little more emphasis on the first’ Motel 6.’ so listeners know and remember who the commercial is for. Other than that, great job!

Pizza Hut:: I really felt your excitement and you kept it throughout the take which I thought was great! That being said, one suggestion I have would be to maybe vary the pace of the read, especially in the middle around “the ultimate 2 for 1” and “the mozzarella poppers pizza,” that way you can speed up again when you tell them to hurry before it’s gone. Also not sure if you were looking for any editing suggestions, but I would remove the deep breath at the beginning, as it was a little distracting. Otherwise, great job!

[1stassi]

Thank you @airbear57
I appreciate the suggestions and will take that into account.

[Author]

Replies