Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello gang,
I’ve attached 3 commercial scripts here and welcome all feedback. You guys are definitely helping me get better and I greatly appreciate it!Thanks,
ChrisJC Penney 6
Your brain has 2 sides. The right side: creative, buys things, has fun. The left side: organized, practical, saves money. Now JC Penney makes both sides happy. It’s the buy more, save more sale. It’s simple, the more you buy, the more you save. 20 to 30%. So use your head. Buy more. Save more. Only at JC Penney.Allstate
Truth is, motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands?Honey Bunches of Oats
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.-
Hi Chris! I enjoyed your performances, and definitely believe you have a great voice and the sky is the limit for you. I believe your Honey Bunches read was your strongest and your weakest was JC Penny. I felt like the JC Penny one was “performed” or “read” and not as natural as your other two. Perhaps because it was a longer read? Own the script and then just let it flow!
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Hi, everyone ~
First time poster, long time forum reader 🙂
Below are 3 for your feedback. Growth mindset here – so, bring it on! Thanks in advance!
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Great sounding overall. Looking at Invisalign the first “you” sounds a little like “chew”. Also there is a very apparent breathe at the end 00:26 which could be softened.
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Hello Everyone, I would love to get your feedback on my commercial reads below. Let me know your thoughts! Much appreciated as always.
AARP
It’s right in your own backyard.
While it may be hard to believe, roughly five million Americans don’t even know where their next meal will come from.
In communities just like yours, there are many who need help.
Join people across the country who are coming together with AARP Create the Good, to end hunger.
Start today. It can be as easy as giving food or money to your local area food bank, or getting tips to start your own food drive.
Whatever level of involvement is right for you, we’ve made it simple to find and help people in your area.
So get involved. Go to http://www.createthegood.org/hunger.Legos Creative Builder
Okay moms, if you’re like me, your kids…well, drive you crazy! “I’m bored,” “Can we go to the movies?” “When’s dad comin’ home?” Well thank goodness Lego introduced CREATIVE BUILDER. It keeps kids occupied for hours, plus helps them gain creativity while teaching them to develop their skills. Lego, thank goodness.
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These are two recordings I did following my last coaching session. I’m particularly proud of my editing on this one (removing gaps and breaths), but there are still plosives. Nevertheless, I’m excited for any feedback the Community has. I appreciate it!
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Hi Joseph. I really like your voice and pace – just a couple of thoughts:
On Dublin,
I especially like “ever burgeoning” – not easy to say clearly.
I would pause after “home to great writers” and before “like”.
You really emphasize “and” a couple of times, and in my opinion, they should be de-emphasized.
On Alaska, “this official” runs together a little bit.
I’m not feeling an excitement to go like I want to feel when listening to your invitation. It might even be enough to really emphasize planning a trip to “ALASKA”; that’s exciting!!!
You got this!
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The volume levels are low. You may want to check the gain on your equipment and ensure it’s a suitable place for picking up your voice. Nevertheless, the audio is clean, I agree with the previous feedback.
I loved your first take on that piece and feel that you do have the voice for this style of VO. Another thing element that you’ll get used to as you continue is editing out your breaths at the beginning of a new word, phrase, or sentence (I’m still getting used it myself), but this will come with practice. Great job!
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Kyle,
A couple of things: might want to check your levels. It came across really light in volume, but the audio was really clean. Also, feel free to edit out the outtakes.
As for the read, the last ‘take’ was certainly the best. It starts out with a lot more energy and confidence, but needs to keep that energy up.
IMHO, your voice is really good for this kind of delivery. There is a bit of an edge, and a resonance, that can make it really smooth. Nice work. Look forward to more….!
TimG
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Hello everybody. I worked on this read, and I was hoping to get some feedback on the performance and recording quality. Thank you.
Company Website Greeting
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car. A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough.
According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.-
Erik,
Awesome job overall. I think it could be a bit smoother. And the hyphen between ‘average’ and ‘before’ probably should be treated like a comma, or a place for a pitch change instead of a break in the flow.
And your audio is really good…!! Wish I had a space that sounded like that…!!
TimG
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Here are some voice commercials I’ve just uploaded for the week. I welcome any feedback that is given than can help me go foward.
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Hi Dillon, I checked out your reads, and here are my thoughts.
Marker Crayola – you said Makers instead of markers. Need to diffentiate the adjectives more in the second sentence.
Cool Jazz – Differentiate b/w smoothest and grooviest. Also you hit Cool, but you should hit the whole name of the radio station, Cool 98.1 FM.
Overall solid job.
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