Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello Edge Friends!
Could you pls. take a listen and provide honest feedback on my 4 commercial reads attached? Appreciate it and thank YOU!
TARGET:
There will ALWAYS be a part of you that simply DOESN’T TRANSLATE. TARGET. Cuenta con mas. Paga menos.
Coast to Coast:
YOUR business is OUR business. That’s why we make MORE eCommerce deliveries to homes THAN ANYONE in the country. A todas partes de los Estados Unidos.De costa a costa. Learn more at CoasttoCoast.com. Coast to Coast delivery. Nuestra prioridad: Tu.
Microsoft – Potential:
WE see a company with YOUR name on it.
We’re inspired by people WHO THINK BIG.
We’re inspired by people WHO WORK TIRELESSLY in pursuit of goals that may seem impossible to everyone BUT them.
It’s why WE’RE PASSIONATE about CREATING SOFTWARE that helps them REALIZE those grand ambitions.
Visit Microsoft.com/about.
Your potential. Our passion.AT&T Rethink Possible:
With the BEST global coverage and NEW, MORE affordable international data packages,…
Checking scores in Dublin, Ireland is like checking scores in Dublin, California.
AT&T makes it easier to use your phone abroad.
Packages start as low as $30.
Log on to att.com/global for more details.
AT&T.
Rethink Possible.-
Thank you guys for your feedback!
@HeatherDT– You are right on the Microsoft read. I think I cut too much of the breathing in-between each line when I edited. Tried to follow my coach’s note on that one, so I think I might over did it. Thank you!
@Ems412– Yeah, I think I read that line too quickly unconsciously… Thank you for the note and will take that in consideration. -
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Julia
You’re listening to the actual recording
of “the Julia”. A subsonic moan that doesn’t match the sound of any marine
creature ever recorded. Many biologists will tell you it’s a deep sea
distress call.
And when you listen, it’s easy to see why. The mysterious howling was
captured by deep-sea hydrophones off the coast of Cape Adare.
The same place NASA captured photographs of a huge, unexplained shadow moving
through the water.
It may well be a coincidence, but if the Julia really is a distress call from
the deep, perhaps it’s time we answered.
Ninety-five percent of our oceans remain unexplored.
Are we killing what we’ve yet to discover ?-
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Earthbul,
You have a very trustworthy voice and your pacing was beautiful! I admire your patience with the read. Great work! I also took your challenge and recorded Dogs Breath for fun, it should be below. See you on the next one!
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Hello Everyone. Hope you’re having a great day. First homework assignment. Would greatly appreciate feedback please.
Grenada
The Spice of the Caribbean, a hidden gem with unspoiled beauty offering a lifestyle so pure and authentic, you will feel instantly renewed.
Breathe sweet nutmeg as it dances in the breeze. Explore lush hillsides and the world’s first underwater sculpture park. Witness yet another flawless sunset to the sound of gentle waves. This is Grenada in all her wild, transcendent glory—yours to discover.AIG
The Greatest Risk Is Not Taking One. They gave up everything. Their families. Their friends. Their homes. The villages they were born in. They arrived with only the clothes on their backs. Vulnerable. Scared. But brimming with hope and determined that a better life was within their grasp. Today, risk takers don’t have to go after their dreams alone. They can rely on a business partner to help them through uncharted waters. An organization with unsurpassed insight and financial resources. One with the ability and flexibility to design specific solutions to help minimize risk for almost any business undertaking.
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Woops! Sorry about that! Rookie mistake and first time on the forum. Please find my files attached. I look forward to receiving feedback. Thank you in advance!
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Hey Heather! Great to see you on here, and outside of class. I love your voice, my only thought, along the lines of Courtney’s was that this could have had a different pace. Faster, yet still relaxed.
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Gorgeous voice! Lovely work identifying the key words. As you continue forward, focus on adding in a natural flow and pace to your read. Let the key words do most of the heavy lifting.
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Hi Everybody,
I’m getting back to VO after a long absence. I have some homework scripts on which I need feedback. Thank you in advance!
Cosmos, Advil, & Financial Engines
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@cknipe– Yaaassss!!!! MUCH BETTER!!! See the difference? all 3 are much better reads than the previous ones. Good job!
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Hi cknipe! Great diction and enunciation. Love your voice too. I would suggest trying to connect with the copy a bit more. In the Cosmos for instance, I wanna be able to picture what you are describing. Take your time in the pacing with narrations. You’ve got this!
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No offense but there’s zero differentiation between all 3 spots. I like your voice but there’s no animation or excitement or mystery in your delivery. That might be alright when your talking about a financialinstitution or aspirin but the planet earth is a whole other ballgame. I’d love to hear you redo the Cosmos spot with a little oomph to it. Good luck.
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I’m going to comment on all three that you posted in this reply. I like your voice, but for some reason…there’s just something missing. Maybe it feels like you’re trying too hard? The tractor supply spot was the best of the three. I don’t know you, but it doesn’t feel like you, if that makes sense. Home Depot and Tractor Supply are perfect companies for your voice, though.
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Hope to get some feedback on my natural delivery. Thanks!
Earthbound Farm
Here at Earthbound Farm, we don’t use any harmful chemical pesticides.
All of our organic salads, fruits and vegetables are grown in harmony with nature.
And while farming organically may cost more, we think you’ll find Earthbound Farm organic produce is an infinitely better value.
Because with each crisp, delicious bite, you can take comfort in knowing you’re protecting your family’s health.
Now and for years to come.
Earthbound Farm.
Food to live by. -
Hello Everyone, Looking for some feedback on homework scripts below. As always much appreciated!
Blue From American Express
We are helping put instruments back in the hands of kids. Why? Studies indicate kids who learn music excel at reading, science and math. But Budget cuts are eliminating music programs. So, join blue from American Express to help put music back in the hands of kids!
Kid’s Explorer Academy
In his work at the Explorer Academy, a 12-year-old embarks on a global hunt for a secret formula that could reveal his hidden past.
Plunged into a world of critical missions and code breaking, it might be difficult—especially when he doesn’t know who he can trust.-
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Hi Sylvanie! Beautiful, soothing voice! On the AMEX script, you read thru the product name at the end. Make sure you emphasize “Blue” so it stands out. On the Kids Explorer one, loved your read throughout on this one. My only comment is also on the closing. You left the sentence open ended– like Logan mentioned above, swooping upward… wouldn’t suggest using it on your ending. Great job!
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Nice voice. I thought the diction was a little mushy on the opening line “We are helping..” Same thing on “…cuts are eliminating..”. Also, the flow was broken a bit by some pauses at: “eliminating…music” and “Express…to help”. However, that second one might be somewhat ok. Less important at the moment but, you missed the “from” in “…join Blue *from* American Express”. One caveat, it’s easy to over do the diction clean up – it has to be clear but sound smooth and natural and not appear that you’re working too hard at the diction…
You can take all that with a grain of salt…just my two cents. The sincere intent is to be helpful.
Keep in mind that it does take time and effort to do the analysis and write it up. – touzet –
P.S. Back on the old Edge site, you actually had to do like two feedbacks for every one of your own files you could post.
Also,your posted file would be held in a spot at the front of the forum waiting for someone to give feedback and free it from un-reviewed purgatory.
They also listed how many times your audio was played – which was a nice feature. -
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Sounds pretty good! I’d say that on the Blue from American Express read, try to end some of your sentences swooping upward (almost like asking a question). I think the same should go for the last sentence of the Kid’s Explorer Academy read. Otherwise, your delivery was great! Sounded like a commercial! Keep up the good work!
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