Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by
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January 14, 2022 at 5:42 pm #73586
Erik B
ParticipantHello everybody. I worked on this read, and I was hoping to get some feedback on the performance and recording quality. Thank you.
Company Website Greeting
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car. A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough.
According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.Attachments:
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January 14, 2022 at 9:32 pm #73593
waninick
ParticipantErik,
Awesome job overall. I think it could be a bit smoother. And the hyphen between ‘average’ and ‘before’ probably should be treated like a comma, or a place for a pitch change instead of a break in the flow.
And your audio is really good…!! Wish I had a space that sounded like that…!!
TimG
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January 14, 2022 at 3:13 pm #73578
DillonP
ParticipantHere are some voice commercials I’ve just uploaded for the week. I welcome any feedback that is given than can help me go foward.
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January 14, 2022 at 5:31 pm #73585
Erik B
ParticipantHi Dillon, I checked out your reads, and here are my thoughts.
Marker Crayola – you said Makers instead of markers. Need to diffentiate the adjectives more in the second sentence.
Cool Jazz – Differentiate b/w smoothest and grooviest. Also you hit Cool, but you should hit the whole name of the radio station, Cool 98.1 FM.
Overall solid job.
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January 13, 2022 at 5:25 pm #73565
1stassi
ParticipantHi guys
This is my last coaching session before the demo prep. I was wondering if you guys can focus on critiquing how I do on the clients name and if I get the problem/ solution right. Hope this makes sense.Go hard me guys. I’m trying to improve.
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January 12, 2022 at 5:12 pm #73539
Logan DFD
ParticipantHope to get some feedback on my practice I’ve been doing! Thanks!
HelloFresh
Choose dinner that comes with less and gives you more.
Less kitchen chaos and more five star recipes that are easy to make and love.
Less shopping and more pre-portioned ingredients delivered to your door.
Less stress, less mess.
Umm. No promises on the less mess thing, but definitely less what’s for dinner blues.
And who doesn’t love that?
So gather round.
Because this dinner that comes with so much less really gives you so much more.
Join America’s #1 mealkit at Hellofresh.com.
Get $80 off plus free shipping with code TV80 during our labor day flash sale.Earthbound Farm
Here at Earthbound Farm, we don’t use any harmful chemical pesticides.
All of our organic salads, fruits and vegetables are grown in harmony with nature.
And while farming organically may cost more, we think you’ll find Earthbound Farm organic produce is an infinitely better value.
Because with each crisp, delicious bite, you can take comfort in knowing you’re protecting your family’s health.
Now and for years to come.
Earthbound Farm.
Food to live by.Attachments:
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January 13, 2022 at 5:31 pm #73569
1stassi
ParticipantHi Logan
I loved your Hello Fresh read. Especially the middle line where it felt like we were having a face to face conversation.In fact my one suggestion would be to relax a little more and just remember to pretend that your having a conversation with one of your peers.
Other than that GREAT JOB!
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January 14, 2022 at 1:48 pm #73575
waninick
ParticipantLogan,
Gotta agree with 1stassi, really need to relax a lot more. Let the words kinda flow from one to the next. Some word sequences won’t lend themselves to that, but a lot will. So don’t be afraid to string some of the words together, and really get a smooth feel going.
Also, a bit more pitch variation might be useful. It’s really easy to think you are varying your pitch a lot when it comes out kinda monotone. I know I do that with enunciation. Just when I think I am being almost clownishly over the top, it actually turns out pretty good. Just try to push it once and if it’s too much, pull it back a bit till it sounds just right.
And … your studio sounds Great…!!
TimG
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January 12, 2022 at 11:38 am #73530
Courtney Feiman
ParticipantA little commercial read practice. Thank you for your feedback!
Disney Princess Pop Up Games:
New Disney Princess Pop-Up Magic games! Once upon a time…not far away…three games popped up where the Disney Princesses played! With a spin to the castle they came, and won this pop-up magic game! New Disney Princess Pop-Up Magic Castle Games. Cinderella’s Coach and Tangled Tower Games each sold separately. And now… The journey continues at your local Stride Rite store! Purchase a pair of Stride Rite Disney Princess shoes and get a free Cinderella’s Coach game! While supplies last. But don’t wait until the midnight hour! This deal is only from February 21st to the 23rd! Locations may vary.
McDonalds Salads:
Me. Myself. My salad. Okay. This is it. This is the salad for me. The Grilled Chicken Caesar at McDonald’s. I am so into all the different kinds of lettuce and the cute little tomatoes. But what really shouts my name is all that warm grilled chicken. I drizzle on the low fat Newman’s Own all natural Balsamic Vinaigrette and I am one happy woman. Want to hear me go on and on about the crispy cobb or bacon ranch salad too? I’m lovin’ it.
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January 14, 2022 at 5:08 pm #73584
Erik B
ParticipantHi Courtney. I listened to both of your reads, and wanted to share my thoughts.
Disney – Great tone, great job with the tongue twisting fourth sentence! Also you differentiate nicely between sentences, and the recording quality is very good. Great job.
McDonald’s – Great differentiation in the first couple of sentences. Also great tone. Hit the key words splendidly. Recording quality is very good. Great job.
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January 17, 2022 at 10:28 am #73671
Courtney Feiman
ParticipantThank you for the feedback! I appreciate it!
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January 14, 2022 at 1:57 pm #73576
waninick
ParticipantNicely done, Courtney….! Two totally different kinds of reads and I think you really rendered them both well. The almost child-like Disney script and a more smooth, mature McDonalds script. Well played…!!
TimG
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January 17, 2022 at 10:29 am #73672
Courtney Feiman
ParticipantThank you, Tim!
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January 12, 2022 at 12:24 pm #73537
Haley Gross de Jimenez
ParticipantHi Courtney,
Both reads sound really great. I could hear the playfulness and excitement in the Disney read and the warmth and inviting nature of the McDonalds read. One thing I did hear is your pronunciation of Vinaigrette. I think you have an extra vowel. I hear “vinagerette” rather than “vinagrette.” Other than that, great stuff.
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January 13, 2022 at 1:36 pm #73558
Courtney Feiman
ParticipantThanks Haley! I appreciate it!
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January 12, 2022 at 11:30 am #73526
Haley Gross de Jimenez
ParticipantHello,
Just a few practice scripts.
Black Forest
Hello and welcome to travel beans. I’m Emma and behind the camera is Alex, and today we want to show you why you need to visit The Black Forest. The Black Forest is a mountain range located in southwest Germany covering an area of around 6,000 square kilometers. It is known for its dense dark forests and charming villages and is extremely popular amongst outdoor enthusiasts year round.Cancer
Im Dr Judy Bowie, a breast surgeon at Mayo clinic. In this video we will cover the basics of breast cancer. What is it? Who gets it? What are the symptoms? And What are the diagnosis & treatment options? Weather you are looking for answers for yourself or someone you love, we’re here to give you the best information available. Breast cancer is a relatively common type of cancer. In fact, it is the most common cancer world wide and the most common cancer diagnosed in the US. Currently, nearly 4 million women in the US alone are diagnosed with breast cancer.Attachments:
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January 11, 2022 at 7:17 pm #73513
SteveVO
ParticipantPracticing a commercial read.
Attachments:
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January 12, 2022 at 11:32 am #73529
Haley Gross de Jimenez
ParticipantHi Steve,
Sounds great. I actually have a question – are you using any effects on your voice? The audio quality sounds great and something I am working on myself.
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January 11, 2022 at 6:14 pm #73509
Logan DFD
ParticipantI’d appreciate some helpful feedback on these two commercial scripts I’ve been practicing with! Thanks!
HelloFresh
Choose dinner that comes with less and gives you more.
Less kitchen chaos and more five star recipes that are easy to make and love.
Less shopping and more pre-portioned ingredients delivered to your door.
Less stress, less mess.
Umm. No promises on the less mess thing, but definitely less what’s for dinner blues.
And who doesn’t love that?
So gather round.
Because this dinner that comes with so much less really gives you so much more.
Join America’s #1 mealkit at Hellofresh.com.
Get $80 off plus free shipping with code TV80 during our labor day flash sale.Earthbound Farm
Here at Earthbound Farm, we don’t use any harmful chemical pesticides.
All of our organic salads, fruits and vegetables are grown in harmony with nature.
And while farming organically may cost more, we think you’ll find Earthbound Farm organic produce is an infinitely better value.
Because with each crisp, delicious bite, you can take comfort in knowing you’re protecting your family’s health.
Now and for years to come.
Earthbound Farm.
Food to live by.Attachments:
You must be logged in to view attached files.-
January 12, 2022 at 11:54 am #73533
Courtney Feiman
ParticipantHi Logan! On the HelloFresh read place more intention and purpose behind what you are saying. Particularly on the “Umm. No promises on the less mess thing, but definitely less what’s for dinner blues.” You want it to sound intentional, almost like an after thought rather than a mistake. Let that intention flow into the sentence. Pacing is good. Make sure you find the key words to place the emphasis on. You don’t have to hit them hard. A lot of the time the word will do the work for you. Just knowing that the word is important will add all the emphasis you need.
Very enjoyable read on the Earthbound Farm copy. You let the words do the work. You can really hear it on words like “crisp” and “delicious.” I’d see if you can find a little more flow and continuity to each sentence. Know where the sentence is going. More legato, less staccato.
I hope this helps! Happy practicing!
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January 10, 2022 at 9:29 pm #73479
SteveVO
ParticipantA bit of storytelling on this one. Thanks for any feedback.
SteveAttachments:
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January 12, 2022 at 11:58 am #73534
Haley Gross de Jimenez
ParticipantReally great again, I could listen to the whole book. The nasally voice was a bit difficult to understand clearly, but not impossible.
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January 10, 2022 at 9:26 pm #73475
bevy
ParticipantGood Evening,
Below are my recordings for my 5th Narration VO coaching session. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you for your time. Please find the scripts below:
Advance Technologies
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.Cancun
Rulers of the ancient Mayan civilizations came here to see the beauty of this land … a place where the turquoise Caribbean Sea caresses the beautiful sandy beaches. They came to partake a view reserved then only for royalty. Today, more than 1,500 years later, this same spot is one of the most popular vacation destinations in the world. This is Cancun. Located at the northeast tip of the Yucatan Peninsula, Cancun is easily accessible from major gateway cities in Canada, Mexico, and the United States. Just under a 2-hour flight from Houston or Miami. Visitors will find an abundance of sports in Cancun. Jet skiing and water skiing are popular for the novice and pro alike.Stellaluna
The dark leafy tangle of branches caught Stellaluna as she fell. One twig was small enough for Stellaluna’s tiny feet. Wrapping her wings about her, she clutched the thin branch, trembling with cold and fear.
“Mother,” Stellaluna squeaked. “Where are you?”
By daybreak, the baby bat could hold on no longer. Down, down again she dropped.
*pageturn*
*Flump!* Stellaluna landed headfirst in a soft downy nest, startling the three baby birds who lived there.
Stellaluna quickly clambered from the nest and hung out of sight below it. She listened to the babble of the three birds.
“What was *that?”* cried Flap.
“I don’t know, but it’s hanging by its feet,” chirped Flitter.
“Shhh! Here comes Mama,” hissed Pip.
*pageturn*
Many, many times that day Mama Bird flew away, always returning with food for her babies.
Stellaluna was terribly hungry – but *not* for the crawly things Mama Bird brought.
Finally, though, the little bat could bear it no longer. She climbed into the nest, closed her eyes, and opened her mouth.
*Plop!* In dropped a big green grasshopper!Attachments:
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January 12, 2022 at 12:11 pm #73535
Haley Gross de Jimenez
ParticipantHi Bevy,
I love your tone on Advance Technologies; your speed and fluctuations are great. If I had to get technical I would say that I can hear some feedback and your p’s are a bit poppy. On Stellaluna, your recording level seems to be a bit high, I heard the sound crack a bit when you cried Mother. But it was a great read and I would love to hear you read the whole book!
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