Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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I have enjoyed everything I’ve seen you post on here. You got it going on. 2 things:
1) See if you can push through a little more at the end of each phrase. It gets a little too breathy too often.
2) When I say too often, this sounds like a piece of a much longer narration, so the audience will catch on to that speech pattern of the same rise and fall on each phrase and might turn them off. Really play with variation in the read and truly think about where you are pausing and why.I’d hire you , though. In a heartbeat.
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If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer…..
Here’s an easy game to play.
Here’s an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,
then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!
You can’t say this? What a shame, sir!
We’ll find you another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a s***e,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! -
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Hey guys! Could you pls. give me feedback on my commercial reads attached? Thank YOU!
Disney Cruise Line:
Escape on a fantasy unlike ANYTHING you’ve ever imagined. A Disney Cruise Line Vacation. Start planning TODAY and set sail on a dream.Starlight Starbright Children’s Foundation:
Make a seriously ill child’s smile, this bright. When you choose Colgate-Palmolive products, you help bring fun centers and other great programs to kids, through a $500,000 donation to the Starlight Starbright Children’s Foundation, a non-profit organization that works with seriously ill children and their families. For more ways to help, go to www.colgate.com/starlightstarbright.Jaguar (S-Type):
Can YOU resist? The POWER to turn a quick glance into a lasting stare. Breathtaking good looks. Luscious, handcrafted appointments. Bluetooth wireless phone technology. The incredible performance of a 390-hp, supercharged V8 engine. Maybe those hairs on the back of your neck are trying to tell you something. The NEW S-Type Jaguar.Above the Influence (PSA – Accented English for this piece):
I thought I respected myself. That is, until I saw myself get high. It’s just an u**y side of myself that I didn’t recognize. Saying and doing things that… just weren’t me. I do respect myself, that’s why I don’t do drugs. -
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Hi, everyone ~
Second time posting and greatly appreciate the help! Looking for feedback on voice, pace, inflection, authenticity rather than recording quality, e.g. gain, hearing breathes, etc.
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and provide comments!
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Hi Joe! Your diction is great, my one thought that jumped out, is it felt like you were giving the same read for all 3 scripts, and they could have pretty different approaches. I’d love to hear these with some variation in your cadence and enthusiasm…feedback I’ve received as well! It’s hard for me, personally.
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