Feedback Forum

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

Viewing 3,183 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #75585
    DillonP
    Participant

    Hello everyone, I have both a Commercial and Narration piece. please feel free to provide any feedback, I would really apricate some inside, thank you.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75628
      chennianen
      Participant

      Not bad! I feel like you were slurring your words together, and could use a bit more energy in your reads. But, despite that, I felt like your reading was pretty clear!

    • #75595
      Lawszvoice
      Participant

      Building Management read. The pace was fast for me, missing some of the instructions. Imagine that you are in the building, and as part of your job you cannot leave until everyone else is evacuated. Try conveying the instructions with authority, with a sense of urgency but calm. The real goal is to be clear and concise. You need the people to understand the instructions so you can leave.

      You took me to the Caribbean in the Sandals spot. Nice read.

  • #75582
    Alexander
    Participant

    ..and one more. Thanks again ~Alex

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #75577
    Alexander
    Participant

    Hi, this is my first post. Any feedback would be appreciated on any of these 4 clips. (Was recorded on a iPad) Thanks so much! ~Alex

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75596
      Lawszvoice
      Participant

      You connected and related to the Six Flags and Milk ads. Milk was the most conversational, Nice.

      Six Flags The diversity in your list of “no” was nice and I laughed at your delivery of you cannot paint the cat. Think about the Yes and how it makes you feel to finally get what you want.

      JC Penney…My right creative brain sounds different from My left analytical brain. May be fun to try a bit of characterization between them and see what happens.

  • #75566
    Lawszvoice
    Participant

    Interested in your feedback on “the History Channel who would you be” from a female voice.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75627
      chennianen
      Participant

      I really like this one! You sound like an all knowing oracle or genie coming to me about changing the past, haha. Very smooth and it drew me in!

  • #75551
    SuperLuke
    Participant

    I have attached a segment from the first Jack Reacher novel, “Killing Floor” by Lee Child. Please let me know what you think about my narration progress so far.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75689
      DillonP
      Participant

      You have a good way of using a different voice. But feels like your not leaving enough space between sentences.

    • #75564
      Lawszvoice
      Participant

      Really enjoyed the voice characterizations. Overall, the pace and delivery were fast for me, therefore I missed some dialogue. Cudos on reading multiple characters.

  • #75507
    chennianen
    Participant

    I have three more examples here — the last one was completely for fun. I was looking through the PSA section in the script library and thought I’d take a crack at it! Hope it’s not cringe, haha

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75607
      Alexander
      Participant

      Really sounds like you got the gist of scripts, really involved. Freshii one was fun, enjoyed that one.

    • #75562
      Lawszvoice
      Participant

      The PSA make me envision the dry eye character voice. I kept picturing him in your delivery. You took what could have been read super serious to that alter ego sarcastically torturing your mind. Liked the approach, I felt the internal pull. Nice.

      Freshii spot I really enjoyed the flirty delivery … a little salsa fresa and …pop of pineapple.

    • #75527
      Mike Thomas
      Participant

      The PSA spot wasn’t cringy at all! I enjoyed it. I couldn’t tell if the last couple of lines were still supposed to be in character or not. You might be able to do a little more to make that more clear, but overall that was well done.

      For the Freshii spot, I liked how playful you were with going over the different customization options. And the first line to the Ford Escape spot does a great job setting the scene. Good stuff.

  • #75502
    gmedrano
    Participant

    Hello! I’m new around here, but I wanted to ask for feedback on a couple of castings I recently posted for consideration. One is a radio spot for recruitment at a Sheriff’s office, where they were looking a male latino who sounded friendly but with authority. The other one is a narration in neutral Latin American Spanish accent for an NGO’s video without further instructions.

    I really look forward to your feedback!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75563
      Lawszvoice
      Participant

      Nice blend of friendly and authoritative in your delivery.

    • #75526
      Mike Thomas
      Participant

      I like these a lot. My first thought when listening to the sheriff’s spot is that it was a touch fast, but after listening to it again I don’t know if that’s right. There might just be certain sections that could benefit from a slower delivery.

      I don’t speak Spanish, but I really enjoyed the Recuperacion spot. I found your voice authoritative but also comforting. I didn’t understand a word you said, but I was still pulled in for the entire spot. That has to be a good thing, right?

      • #75650
        gmedrano
        Participant

        I’ll keep the slower delivery in mind. It is something that I do struggle with as a Spanish speaker and I try to lean on it.

        Regarding the Spanish piece: I believe that if the spot kept you in when you don’t speak the language, it is very high praise (insert Nic Cage meme here).

        I appreciate the feedback! Thank you!

  • #75498
    Lawszvoice
    Participant

    Happy Tuesday! I know that you see a food trend in my scripts, LOL! So I thought I would throw in a poetic piece as well. All Feedback and critics are welcome and appreciated.

    The House With Nobody in It – Poem by Joyce Kilmer
    Whenever I walk to Suffering, along the Erie track
    I go by a poor old farmhouse, with its shingles broken and black.
    I suppose I’ve passed it a hundred times, but I always stop for a minute
    And look at the house, the tragic house, the house with nobody in it.

    Inside everyone is an incredible cook. Someone who can cook an amazing meal any night of the week.
    Farm fresh ingredients… Step by step recipes…delivered to your door for 999 a meal,
    Visit Blue Apron.com/Cook to get your first two meals free.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75525
      Mike Thomas
      Participant

      I’m not a huge poetry fan, but I really enjoyed The House With Nobody In It. Your voice fits that style perfectly. The only thing I noticed was that the delivery of “but I always stop for a minute” felt out of place to me. Really well done.

      For Blue Apron, the timing of the last line felt off. There was a big enough pause between blueapron.com/cook and “to get your…” that it sounded to me like two different lines rather than one sentence.

      I hope that helps!

      • #75561
        Lawszvoice
        Participant

        Mike. Thank you so much. Your feedback is always so helpful and much appreciated.

  • #75485
    Lawszvoice
    Participant

    Would like feedback on this commercial for Stop and Shop that I am considering for my demo. The commercial is about “lists” and I find “lists in scripts” a bit tough. So facing my fear. All feedback is welcome and appreciated.

    STOP AND SHOP TV COMMERCIAL

    We’ve all got one somewhere, scribbled on the back of an envelope, shouted from the kitchen, a note to self.
    But your list is also an invitation, a plan, a promise. Each one is a snapshot of what and who we care about.
    So next time you’re at Stop & Shop. Take a second look at what you’ve written.
    And you’ll see It’s more than just a list.
    Stop and shop feed the moment.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75491
      Mike Thomas
      Participant

      Kudos for facing your fears! The list sections were pretty solid. I think some subtle differences for each section helps. One thing I try to do with lists is try and have my delivery match the item in the list. So “scribbled on the back on an envelope” could be delivered a little quicker and haphazardly. “Shouted from the kitchen” with a little more energy. And “a note to self” with a little more care and purpose.

      That makes sense in my brain. Hopefully, it makes sense typed out too.

      • #75497
        Lawszvoice
        Participant

        Mike. Thank you so much! That makes total sense. Appreciate the tips. I am definitely going to re-record this weekend.

  • #75478
    mike_levelton
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    Working on my narration demo and would love to hear some honest feedback for these.

    Thanks!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #75490
      Mike Thomas
      Participant

      I like these. The City Care spot feels like the first half of a commercial, and you did a great job establishing the problem about back pain. When it ended I felt like I was left hanging without a solution for my back pain!

      Your voice and tone for the Lego spot sounded great, but there were some pronunciation and enunciation issues that could have been cleared up in another take or two.

    • #75484
      Lawszvoice
      Participant

      City Care – Nice clear delivery good pacing

      Lego – Wow amazing process on how legos are made. Lots of interesting content. The words “there are” sounded like “there arft”

Viewing 3,183 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.