[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Alexander]

Hi, this is my first post. Any feedback would be appreciated on any of these 4 clips. (Was recorded on a iPad) Thanks so much! ~Alex

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[Lawszvoice]

You connected and related to the Six Flags and Milk ads. Milk was the most conversational, Nice.

Six Flags The diversity in your list of “no” was nice and I laughed at your delivery of you cannot paint the cat. Think about the Yes and how it makes you feel to finally get what you want.

JC Penney…My right creative brain sounds different from My left analytical brain. May be fun to try a bit of characterization between them and see what happens.

[Lawszvoice]

Interested in your feedback on “the History Channel who would you be” from a female voice.

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[chennianen]

I really like this one! You sound like an all knowing oracle or genie coming to me about changing the past, haha. Very smooth and it drew me in!

[SuperLuke]

I have attached a segment from the first Jack Reacher novel, “Killing Floor” by Lee Child. Please let me know what you think about my narration progress so far.

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[DillonP]

You have a good way of using a different voice. But feels like your not leaving enough space between sentences.

[Lawszvoice]

Really enjoyed the voice characterizations. Overall, the pace and delivery were fast for me, therefore I missed some dialogue. Cudos on reading multiple characters.

[chennianen]

I have three more examples here — the last one was completely for fun. I was looking through the PSA section in the script library and thought I’d take a crack at it! Hope it’s not cringe, haha

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[Alexander]

Really sounds like you got the gist of scripts, really involved. Freshii one was fun, enjoyed that one.

[Lawszvoice]

The PSA make me envision the dry eye character voice. I kept picturing him in your delivery. You took what could have been read super serious to that alter ego sarcastically torturing your mind. Liked the approach, I felt the internal pull. Nice.

Freshii spot I really enjoyed the flirty delivery … a little salsa fresa and …pop of pineapple.

[Mike Thomas]

The PSA spot wasn’t cringy at all! I enjoyed it. I couldn’t tell if the last couple of lines were still supposed to be in character or not. You might be able to do a little more to make that more clear, but overall that was well done.

For the Freshii spot, I liked how playful you were with going over the different customization options. And the first line to the Ford Escape spot does a great job setting the scene. Good stuff.

[gmedrano]

Hello! I’m new around here, but I wanted to ask for feedback on a couple of castings I recently posted for consideration. One is a radio spot for recruitment at a Sheriff’s office, where they were looking a male latino who sounded friendly but with authority. The other one is a narration in neutral Latin American Spanish accent for an NGO’s video without further instructions.

I really look forward to your feedback!

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[Lawszvoice]

Nice blend of friendly and authoritative in your delivery.

[gmedrano]

Thank you!

[Mike Thomas]

I like these a lot. My first thought when listening to the sheriff’s spot is that it was a touch fast, but after listening to it again I don’t know if that’s right. There might just be certain sections that could benefit from a slower delivery.

I don’t speak Spanish, but I really enjoyed the Recuperacion spot. I found your voice authoritative but also comforting. I didn’t understand a word you said, but I was still pulled in for the entire spot. That has to be a good thing, right?

[gmedrano]

I’ll keep the slower delivery in mind. It is something that I do struggle with as a Spanish speaker and I try to lean on it.

Regarding the Spanish piece: I believe that if the spot kept you in when you don’t speak the language, it is very high praise (insert Nic Cage meme here).

I appreciate the feedback! Thank you!

[Lawszvoice]

Happy Tuesday! I know that you see a food trend in my scripts, LOL! So I thought I would throw in a poetic piece as well. All Feedback and critics are welcome and appreciated.

The House With Nobody in It – Poem by Joyce Kilmer
Whenever I walk to Suffering, along the Erie track
I go by a poor old farmhouse, with its shingles broken and black.
I suppose I’ve passed it a hundred times, but I always stop for a minute
And look at the house, the tragic house, the house with nobody in it.

Inside everyone is an incredible cook. Someone who can cook an amazing meal any night of the week.
Farm fresh ingredients… Step by step recipes…delivered to your door for 999 a meal,
Visit Blue Apron.com/Cook to get your first two meals free.

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[Mike Thomas]

I’m not a huge poetry fan, but I really enjoyed The House With Nobody In It. Your voice fits that style perfectly. The only thing I noticed was that the delivery of “but I always stop for a minute” felt out of place to me. Really well done.

For Blue Apron, the timing of the last line felt off. There was a big enough pause between blueapron.com/cook and “to get your…” that it sounded to me like two different lines rather than one sentence.

I hope that helps!

[Lawszvoice]

Mike. Thank you so much. Your feedback is always so helpful and much appreciated.

[Lawszvoice]

Would like feedback on this commercial for Stop and Shop that I am considering for my demo. The commercial is about “lists” and I find “lists in scripts” a bit tough. So facing my fear. All feedback is welcome and appreciated.

STOP AND SHOP TV COMMERCIAL

We’ve all got one somewhere, scribbled on the back of an envelope, shouted from the kitchen, a note to self.
But your list is also an invitation, a plan, a promise. Each one is a snapshot of what and who we care about.
So next time you’re at Stop & Shop. Take a second look at what you’ve written.
And you’ll see It’s more than just a list.
Stop and shop feed the moment.

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[Mike Thomas]

Kudos for facing your fears! The list sections were pretty solid. I think some subtle differences for each section helps. One thing I try to do with lists is try and have my delivery match the item in the list. So “scribbled on the back on an envelope” could be delivered a little quicker and haphazardly. “Shouted from the kitchen” with a little more energy. And “a note to self” with a little more care and purpose.

That makes sense in my brain. Hopefully, it makes sense typed out too.

[Lawszvoice]

Mike. Thank you so much! That makes total sense. Appreciate the tips. I am definitely going to re-record this weekend.

[mike_levelton]

Hey everyone,

Working on my narration demo and would love to hear some honest feedback for these.

Thanks!

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[Mike Thomas]

I like these. The City Care spot feels like the first half of a commercial, and you did a great job establishing the problem about back pain. When it ended I felt like I was left hanging without a solution for my back pain!

Your voice and tone for the Lego spot sounded great, but there were some pronunciation and enunciation issues that could have been cleared up in another take or two.

[Lawszvoice]

City Care – Nice clear delivery good pacing

Lego – Wow amazing process on how legos are made. Lots of interesting content. The words “there are” sounded like “there arft”

[Jenconnelly20]

Howdy! Still working on my commercial stuff, feedback would be much appreciated 🙂

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[Mike Thomas]

The Camry spot is great, really well done. And the baby backpack clip sounded a lot like all of the videos my wife and I watched when we were researching products to buy for our daughter.

The Bombas spot has one part in the middle that stood out to me. It seems to me that bombas donating a pair of socks for every one purchased is the point of the ad, but that line felt a little rushed. With “we donate one for every one you buy,” maybe try to emphasize the “you” in that line to try and connect with the listener?

[Lawszvoice]

Baby Backpack – nice enthusiasm, believe you are a young mom whose life just got easier and you want to share the excitement.
Camary good characterization as the car.
Bombas like the sensitive tone in your voice.

[Andres]

If anyone’s willing to take a listen and leave any advice, tips and/or notes I’d really appreciate it. These are two of five of the scripts i’m using for my demo, I appreciate those who are nice about notes but i’d rather get honest and productive feedback. Thank you very much!

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[chennianen]

I was super concerned with the beginning of the dictionary reading, only to realize it was a funny exercise for kids, hahaha. The reading was clear and slow enough for children, I think! I also really like the other recording. Both are well read!

[Alexander]

Nice! Both are clear and concise. I like the way you adjusted your tone between the two.

[Lawszvoice]

Dictionary piece. Enjoy how you are a bit animated in telling the story at the beginning (to your students) and then the switch to the instructional teacher tone.

Cornetz University piece. Voice is knowledgeable and friendly. Your pacing makes the instructions easy to understand. Nice natural phrasing

[Author]

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