Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi Lindsay,
You have good articulation and variety in your energy/tempo. That was especially on display with the piece on plastics. Really felt like you were connecting with kids as you went along. You also have the ability to treat the script like a short story with a beginning middle and end. That’s something my coach said to look for and you really have that going with that one.
The depreciation copy was good and hit home for me because I’m in need of new laptop and I felt like you were educating me on why mine has slowed down so much over time. You were balanced and appropriately “instructional” in your approach.
I liked the park piece as well, though perhaps the pacing dipped a bit midway? Only say that because your energy perked up towards to the end and I felt was a great close. Don’t mean to say that it wasn’t a good read, just that I found myself really noticing the end which was bright and gave me the feeling of setting of on a nice walk.
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Rusty,
Your voice reminded me of Brian Tracy, the sales and self help figure. Your voice sounds like someone who is knowledgeable about sales processes. As I listened I felt like you were speaking to a group of fellow sales professionals. I would say to continue to look for variety in your intonation. All in all, I think you are headed in the right direction.
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Hi everyone. I would appreciate your feedback on my practice readings. I am using my phone to record these, so just looking for any feedback on my delivery. Hope this posts. I have to admit I find the forum confusing to comment on others and post my own. But onward and upward.
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Nice pausing in between sentences, and the pacing was well kept throughout the read. The ending sounded slightly less conversational than the beginning, but overall it was a very good read.
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The Pizza Hut commercial had a clear audience geared towards kids, had great energy there that would really appeal to kids.
In the Swiss Air commercial, your tone made it sound like you were really relaxed; living in that luxury suite life. Which is very good.A good set of commercials overall that showed different variety. Fantastic!
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The Pizza Hut energy was definitely geared to the kids in the script, but the adults pay and purchase the pizza so maybe speak to the parent then use the kid and that energy to try to drive the sale. Just a different approach. Hope that helps.
Have you flown first class – it is so radically different from coach. For giggles image you were cramped in coach for three hours and then the stewardess said you were upgraded to first class on your connecting flight it may help the listener feel the difference you are conveying. Just a thought.
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7-11 made me laugh, you punch the punch lines. Nice job. Question in the script… Was it one “three-alarm fire” … or three separate alarm fires. That made me stop when listening.
The Boys and Girls club – the first line that “piece of paper” in the hands of a child is more powerful than a gun or knife. That is incredibly visual. It is a golden ticket that can change someone’s life. I would try to bring that relevance and importance. It may help to bring a bit more seriousness to the piece.
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I think you’ve got a fun, energetic, and agreeable voice there. It feels like continuity, or ‘not so choppy’ is what I’d work on if i were you. Just having a smoother deliver, working out which punctuation to hit or to ignore in order have that smooth delivery flow.
THe ending “there’s got to be one right near ya”… I’d love to hear a few different ending treatments – this one didn’t seem strong, rather kind of a mental shrug was what it brought to mind. Be certain, be strong! (…is what my mental cheerleader is saying I should pass on to you)
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Hi All,
I’m looking for critique on lifting up Client’s name, varying repeated words, and pace. No audio feedback for now. I have a little congestion please don’t be distracted by this. Thanks!-
Risewell had great energy and conversational like you were talking to your health-conscious friend. The pace was good for the piece.
Maybelline pace was too fast for me. I missed the luxurious and seductive feeling of the script. I would try a flirtier approach and intentionally try to draw in the listener like a good kiss. Just a different approach.
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Uploading for the first time. I am looking for critiques on my diction and pacing in particular. Does it seem kind of choppy, such as having too many pauses?
Thank you.
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Gikegami, you have nice conversational delivery for both reads. I especially liked the read for Sears, felt authentic. The Knotts Berry Farm read, you added some dynamics to the read, which is a good idea. I think some more punctuation and energy at points will really sell it. This may be advice you were not looking for, in which case I apologize in advanced. Drinking water between reads can help with mouth noise. Chewing gum between takes is another solve. Hope this helped.
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Sears had a natural conversational delivery. Believed you found a good DuPont carpet and wanted to share the experience.
Knott-Berry has good energy but was choppy and a bit unnatural. Really like the energy about the roller-coaster but not sure about the delivery of the word “down”. When I ride the roller coaster, for me the climb is the scary anticipation, then can’t get off, got to go “down” which is both scary and thrilling. Suggestion: for fun I would try an extreme read version like you are actually on the roller coaster and see how you can bring the audience along on the ride. I would tie the fireworks display and fourth of July celebration into one sentence. The holiday almost sounded like an afterthought with the pause.
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