Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi Everyone,
I’m back with some more practice scripts! I’m working on flow and diction and would love your feedback! Thanks…-
Hi Gill! Your Airoptic take is so natural, i really like how it sounds. diction sounds clear and i’d say your flow is allllmost there; although i like how much real estate you’re taking up with the first sentence, there are some pauses near the end of the copy that sound like periods instead of commas. where ever it is that you start sentences with “and” and “because”, the sentence before does sound like a complete thought. maybe its a copy thing, because you do seem to pick it up with a lot of energy each time. either way, great work!
Gigi -
Hello Gill,
Airoptic: Overall a very well done read. I would watch for the included breaths and some minor background shuffling. I feel the overall read could slow down a little to be in the realm of comfort and bed time. Listen for a few key words the client may want specifically hit, there were a few key words that should have popped a little more.
Allstate: I would watch for breaths and the mouth noises that happen at the same time. I don’t think I heard any saliva noises during words, but I caught some at the end of a word or at the beginning of the next. Otherwise nicely done.
Both your reads have a nice friendly and relaxed voice, definitely the inviting voice both of these scripts would be looking for. Good Job.
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Hello!
These were great takes, and you have very nice and clear voice! Your diction was clear and well-pronounced.
If I had anything to say regarding flow, it’d be to make sure you’re enhancing your words, and adding variation where it matters. I can’t really tell what the product is and its properties (at first listen) without a little enhancement, telling me what it is. I hope that makes sense!
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Good evening everyone –
I have two recordings and would welcome feedback on the attached. Thanks for your time.
Tracy
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Just getting started with Commercial Demo training. I would greatly appreciate any feedback. Thanks in advance!!
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Hey Ya’ll!
Been trying to get some practice in. Let me know any comments, feedback, etc. on these two reads. Thanks so much!
– Max
Lowes:
Living rooms become classrooms…
Dining rooms become offices…
Bathrooms become break rooms…
Garages…become gyms…
And backyards…become the great outdoors…
Lowe’s…
What home can become…Website Greeting:
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car.A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough.
According to Google – customers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership. -
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Nik, during your recording, you seem to dip into an accent, though I can’t tell where it is from. You have an American accent for most of the voice over (which sounds good and natural), but a couple of words, like “ham” for instance seems slightly out of place.
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Hey Joel,
You are spot on! I’m Indian by nationality but went to an American school my whole life..hence the accent :)) I live in Dubai (UAE) and here they would categorize my accent as “neutral.” Hoping that will help me secure some work in this region 🙂 -
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hi everyone!
I’m inching closer to Demo Day – so, as always – your feedback is much appreciated. it’s been so helpful these past months and I appreciate you all, so much, for your time and candor. I usually don’t ask for specifics, but this time, I’d love to know how and what the read makes you feel, if anything. and, of course, any other notes are also welcomed.
my best to you all, fellow artists!
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Hi All,
Been working on my pacing and diction. Feedback is appreciated.
Thanks!
BENZ 2020 E-CLASS
A car that can actually see like a human.
Using stereoscopic cameras and even stopping itself if it has to.
The technology may be hard to imagine — but why you would want it, is not.
The 2020 E-class.
It doesn’t just see the future…
It is the future.USPS PSA
The US Postal Service wants 2 remind everyone this year 2 protect themselves from becoming victims of identity theft. Promptly remove incoming mail from your mailbox – and don’t give out passwords, pin numbers, or account numbers. 2 learn more, visit consumer.gov/ncpw
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Hi All,
Been working on my pacing and diction. Feedback is appreciated.
Thanks!
BENZ 2020 E-CLASS
A car that can actually see like a human.
Using stereoscopic cameras and even stopping itself if it has to.
The technology may be hard to imagine — but why you would want it, is not.
The 2020 E-class.
It doesn’t just see the future…
It is the future.USPS PSA
The US Postal Service wants 2 remind everyone this year 2 protect themselves from becoming victims of identity theft. Promptly remove incoming mail from your mailbox – and don’t give out passwords, pin numbers, or account numbers. 2 learn more, visit consumer.gov/ncpw
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Caryn, your voice is very soothing. I agree with Joel’s comments on your diction, but wanted to add that it sounds like you sort of have an accent when you say “themselves” like selves drags on maybe southern so i would be aware of that if you’re trying to stay neutral.
Your pace could slightly be a little faster -
Cary, very listenable voice. I would take a look at your diction for words like “promptly” and when you say, “to learn more.” You said, “t’ learn more.” Your focus on using clear diction at “vist consumer.gov/ncpw” was good. My coach noted that instead of saying “your,” I was say, “yer.” So I think we all sometimes shorten some words in our day to day language use. But for voice over work we have to more careful. Also, you only uploaded one mp3 file. I liked your pacing.
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Only one read tonight… thank you, in advance for your feedback. It is really helping.
Please disregard the audio quality, I’m sitting at my desk instead of in my “studio.”
Thank you!
Rusty
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I want to say thay you have a great voice! Especially for this read. If I had any feedback, I think you could work on the enhancement of your words between commas, and as for the opening line to this script, I felt like there was hesitation when asking the question, leaving the line feeling a little awkward. Other than that, a great read!
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Hi Ashley,
Thanks for the feedback on my Allure read. I listened to both of yours and feel you did a really good job, especially with the Bob Ross one. One note I had on the Primanti brothers is about timing… I might put a small pause, maybe another heartbeat, between “…strip district” and “an area.” Try it and let me know what you think… I felt like they were both good reads!
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Bob Ross was pretty good to me, just watch for plosives and background shuffling. I may suggest to inflect up a little more at the question at the end.
Primanti Bros was pretty good, but you may want to slow down a little bit on the reading to enforce the idea of nostalgia in the story telling and allow a beat between sentences as well.
Overall, I thought both were done well.
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