Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello All, if you have a chance, would love some feedback my three commercial script reads. These are harder scripts for me so any feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you!-
Hello,
First off, let me point out that you have a very nice and pleasing vocal quality. I thought the MB spot was the strongest. Overall I recommend smoothing out your delivery, all the reads came across a bit choppy and could be smoother. Keep at it and you’ll get it nailed down.Hope this helps…
Roman
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Hello all!
It was recommended during my coaching session that I upload two practice samples here for feedback.
Thanks in advance! I’ll be sure to return the favor on others’ tracks as well. 🙂-
Great job on both reads. I loved the Earhart spot. Your pacing and intonation were spot on. The Shakespeare & Co spot was good too however, you were peaking at the top of the read (specifically on the “crowd rousing… life changing” lines). Seems like you may have been to close to the mic. Overall though, I really like your vocal quality and delivery. Best of luck!
Roman
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Hi everyone! My name is Gigi, i’m very excited to be here and publishing some practice records to the forum for the first time.
I worked on these two in my last coaching session and recorded these this morning. with both i’m working on naturalism (really sounding conversational) and pacing, which my coach described as “a bit too quick”
With the Freshii copy (which I spiced up/rewrote a bit from the script library,) i was working on diction, specifically one syllable words like “to” & “and” and the dropouts on the last parts of certain words.
With the Bare Minerals copy I was focusing on list differentiation (as there are a couple lists in this copy) as well as uplifting/hitting the brand & product names in a comfortable sounding way.
How did i do?
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Hello Gigi,
On the Freshii sample you could slow down as you already have plenty of energy in your voice and tone to get the same point across. It’s also easy to speed up even more when you get to phrases that you’re familiar with, so be mindful of keeping that consistency throughout. A client may also ask you to really sell the ingredients listed, so they should be hit a little to make them stand out. There were also a few audible mouth noises here and there.
Bare minimals sample: if you kept the pace you had in the first five seconds when you were asking the question before introducing the product, that would have been great to maintain. There were still some mouth noises, but it was a few aggressive plosives that stood out. Try practicing with the finger to your lips trick. I found that it not only lessens the plosive, but you’ll also learn to pout your lips less when saying words with the Ps.
As I mentioned before, You seem to have a good idea of the voice the client would want, just some minor things to work on. Good job.
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Hi Gigi,
I agree with the other comments. Your Freshii read was very well done and the stronger of the two. As for Bare Minerals there were some pacing issues. The read sounded like you were aware of the pacing, but were struggling a bit with it. Keep at it… You will work this out.Roman
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I love your vocal tone! Very relaxing and informative.
Bare Minerals – there were moments when it felt like you were running out of breath and the pacing dropped a bit, but it wasn’t something that completely pulled me out of what you were telling me. I also agree with Teddpr about varying the inflection of certain words.
Freshii – this was my favorite of the two. Made me hungry 🙂 -
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Hi Gigi,
You have a nice sounding voice. Your diction and lack of drop outs on the Freshii copy sounded good. For the Bare Minerals copy you could improve differentiating the list of silicone, oil, paraben and fragrance by varying the inflection of the words. -
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Good Day Everyone!
Here are a couple new reads I’ve been working on. Specific feedback is always welcome and appreciated.Best,
Roman-
I agree with Joel. The Great Wolf reading was very smooth! Can’t think of any notes for it.
For Denny’s, it feels like you’re still trying to find the right pocket in terms of pacing – almost like you’re thinking about speaking at a slower pace while reading, if that makes sense? Very nitpicky note. Overall you sound great! -
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Hi everyone, my coach suggested that I try uploading some “commercial” VO examples, as I have been focusing on narration. Your feedback always welcome and helpful.
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Hey Joel…
Nice reads but I think your focus on narration is seeping into these spots. Both reads feel a bit stiff. Try relaxing more and focusing on your audience. You have a very strong authoritative voice but both these spots are calling for a relaxed fun delivery. Give it a shot.Hope this helps…
Best
Roman
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Here are two voice over samples of commercials from the script library that I would like feedback on. I’m looking for feedback focusing on pacing. Thank you.
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Gikegami,
You have a unique voice that has a lot of character to it. I sort of feel these two commercials scripts weren’t the best in elevating the character in your voice. You may have to be more attentive towards scripts that fits your unique voice when you go through them. As far as your pace goes for Freshii, I would go alittle slower to highlight whats in each bowl. Advil’s pace was better just be careful of where you’re pausing.
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Hello everyone, attached are two samples if I could get some feedback on them whether it be processing or vocal delivery.
Thanks
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Hey Mike, good work on the your e-learning delivery! your tone is lovely. the main thing that i noticed there is a bit of slush on your pronunciation “ST” sounds. i noticed it in the word ‘standard’ and in ‘question’. perhaps a bit of diction practice & tongue twisters can help keep those letters clear!
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Vocal delivery seems to be on point. Based on your samples which sounded like tutorials, your slow and relaxed pace is good since you are taking your time to explain the steps! Though, the word “or” might have seemed slurred at some parts of the samples. Overall, the voice samples, in terms of vocal delivery, were excellently delivered.
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Hello Devin,
– I wouldn’t use the music in the background. I would recommend listening to it a few times then starting without it, or play it through your headphones but make sure the volume is low enough that your mic doesn’t detect it.
– Your pacing wasn’t too fast, but I feel the music suggests it should be even slower and maybe some extra time in the breaks. The music to me suggests there would be nature visuals in between the sentences.
– Watch for occasional mouth noises. Nothing too bad, but a few stood out.
You still did very well, your voice works well for this piece, so nice job selecting it.
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Hello Everyone! Last time I posted, the constructive feedback I received was great! An area of improvement is differentiation in pitch, and being conversational and less robotic. I can tell you I’ve put in some time and I’m hoping it shows. Thanks in advance for your feedback. Wes
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Hey Wes,
Looking at Wolves: Your voice is great, but watch for plosives on the Ps and mouth noises. I would drink a little more water and make sure not force the air out on the Ps. Sometimes rotating the mic a little so the air rolls off screen before it punches the diaphragm helps. Watch for choppines in the delivery or pacing, try changing the paragraph format in the script to something that feels natural to you. Sometimes changing the paragraph to bullet points will help with the pacing for both your vocal delivery as well as remembering where to take a breath.
Sun Life: Pacing was not as choppy, but a little fast. Same comment on plosives and mouth noises, mostly plosives. As I mentioned to someone else, try putting up something behind you while you read, it may help with some of that room echo you’re getting in the recording.
Still nice work Wes, you’re on the right path.
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Hi Wes,
You have a nice sounding deep voice. You are still sounding a bit staccato and robotic. Try adding some warmth to your narration.
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Hello, I am brand new to VO, please provide me with your positive feedback, thanking you in advance.
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Hello,
Trendi: Watch for overall speed and pacing. That 75% would probably want to be slower, while looking at that, think of other words the client may want to stand out as well. I also agree with making sure words are complete. One example would be “and everything ships free” the “and” is almost there but a little is missing.
Password reset: Watch for saliva noises, there are a few and the file starts with one. I think the friendliness the read is asking for is there, but if this is a “process” to follow, I would try going a little slower. Think of it as giving the person a chance to grab a pen and paper if they need, and then maintaining that so they can follow along.
Aetna: same comments on saliva and breaths. Pacing was a little inconsistent, it smoothed out better when you got to “That’s why Aetna” but you may still want to find a slightly slower speed and try it again for the whole piece.
Still a nice start to your VO career!
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Hello! I really enjoy your voice! It’s comes off as sincere, and it really helps sell the ‘Aetna,’ and even the ‘Password-Reset’ recording flow-wise.
I really enjoyed the recordings, but I think the items you’re selling within the recordings could do with a little inflection- it helps us figure out what we’re supposed to be paying attention to! Also, with ‘Great style, great value…,’ try finding different ways to say ‘great,’ to keep things interesting.
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