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This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
Hey Mike, good work on the your e-learning delivery! your tone is lovely. the main thing that i noticed there is a bit of slush on your pronunciation “ST” sounds. i noticed it in the word ‘standard’ and in ‘question’. perhaps a bit of diction practice & tongue twisters can help keep those letters clear!
Vocal delivery seems to be on point. Based on your samples which sounded like tutorials, your slow and relaxed pace is good since you are taking your time to explain the steps! Though, the word “or” might have seemed slurred at some parts of the samples. Overall, the voice samples, in terms of vocal delivery, were excellently delivered.
– I wouldn’t use the music in the background. I would recommend listening to it a few times then starting without it, or play it through your headphones but make sure the volume is low enough that your mic doesn’t detect it.
– Your pacing wasn’t too fast, but I feel the music suggests it should be even slower and maybe some extra time in the breaks. The music to me suggests there would be nature visuals in between the sentences.
– Watch for occasional mouth noises. Nothing too bad, but a few stood out.
You still did very well, your voice works well for this piece, so nice job selecting it.
Hello Everyone! Last time I posted, the constructive feedback I received was great! An area of improvement is differentiation in pitch, and being conversational and less robotic. I can tell you I’ve put in some time and I’m hoping it shows. Thanks in advance for your feedback. Wes
Looking at Wolves: Your voice is great, but watch for plosives on the Ps and mouth noises. I would drink a little more water and make sure not force the air out on the Ps. Sometimes rotating the mic a little so the air rolls off screen before it punches the diaphragm helps. Watch for choppines in the delivery or pacing, try changing the paragraph format in the script to something that feels natural to you. Sometimes changing the paragraph to bullet points will help with the pacing for both your vocal delivery as well as remembering where to take a breath.
Sun Life: Pacing was not as choppy, but a little fast. Same comment on plosives and mouth noises, mostly plosives. As I mentioned to someone else, try putting up something behind you while you read, it may help with some of that room echo you’re getting in the recording.
Trendi: Watch for overall speed and pacing. That 75% would probably want to be slower, while looking at that, think of other words the client may want to stand out as well. I also agree with making sure words are complete. One example would be “and everything ships free” the “and” is almost there but a little is missing.
Password reset: Watch for saliva noises, there are a few and the file starts with one. I think the friendliness the read is asking for is there, but if this is a “process” to follow, I would try going a little slower. Think of it as giving the person a chance to grab a pen and paper if they need, and then maintaining that so they can follow along.
Aetna: same comments on saliva and breaths. Pacing was a little inconsistent, it smoothed out better when you got to “That’s why Aetna” but you may still want to find a slightly slower speed and try it again for the whole piece.
Welcome!
I agree with TimberTykes, but also wanted to add to be mindful of your diction when you say words like important and create just make sure they are clear and not cut short.
Hello! I really enjoy your voice! It’s comes off as sincere, and it really helps sell the ‘Aetna,’ and even the ‘Password-Reset’ recording flow-wise.
I really enjoyed the recordings, but I think the items you’re selling within the recordings could do with a little inflection- it helps us figure out what we’re supposed to be paying attention to! Also, with ‘Great style, great value…,’ try finding different ways to say ‘great,’ to keep things interesting.
The American Cancer Society sounded totally professional. You nailed it. I thought you were a little over the top with your emotion in describing the right side of the brain for the JC Penny commercial.
I have another recording today. I wanted to record two times today, but there’s a lot of commotion outside. With that, the quality of this one may be a little… eh, so apologies in advance.
I’m trying to balance my cadence here, making sure my lines don’t sound too similar to another one, but I have a feeling I’m not quite getting it. If you have any feedback, it’s well appreciated!
Hello all,
I wanted to share a recording of my narrating the first chapter of Lee Child’s “Killing Floor” before I go ahead with working on an audiobook demo.
Hi Gill! Your Airoptic take is so natural, i really like how it sounds. diction sounds clear and i’d say your flow is allllmost there; although i like how much real estate you’re taking up with the first sentence, there are some pauses near the end of the copy that sound like periods instead of commas. where ever it is that you start sentences with “and” and “because”, the sentence before does sound like a complete thought. maybe its a copy thing, because you do seem to pick it up with a lot of energy each time. either way, great work!
Gigi
Airoptic: Overall a very well done read. I would watch for the included breaths and some minor background shuffling. I feel the overall read could slow down a little to be in the realm of comfort and bed time. Listen for a few key words the client may want specifically hit, there were a few key words that should have popped a little more.
Allstate: I would watch for breaths and the mouth noises that happen at the same time. I don’t think I heard any saliva noises during words, but I caught some at the end of a word or at the beginning of the next. Otherwise nicely done.
Both your reads have a nice friendly and relaxed voice, definitely the inviting voice both of these scripts would be looking for. Good Job.
These were great takes, and you have very nice and clear voice! Your diction was clear and well-pronounced.
If I had anything to say regarding flow, it’d be to make sure you’re enhancing your words, and adding variation where it matters. I can’t really tell what the product is and its properties (at first listen) without a little enhancement, telling me what it is. I hope that makes sense!