Feedback Forum

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  • #76798
    twstark
    Participant

    Hey everyone – First time submission to the Forum. I’m new to VO and excited to learn! Attached are two short reads from the Documentary scripts. I look forward to any and all feedback!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by twstark.
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    • #76895
      rustylj63
      Participant

      Hi Todd, Nice reads! I agree with nicolance aobut the Calloway piece. It was all one tone. I also think you might have hit “resist” and “insist” a little hard. Just my thoughts for what they’re worth.
      I too think your Hawaii piece was really good.

    • #76822
      nicolance
      Participant

      Hi Todd – both very nice reads. You have a good strong voice and sound sincere and believable. . . I suggest you see if you can find the beginning, middle and end of the Calloway piece, so that when you get to Callaway at the end, it is the solution to the problem – I think it will be a stronger read. As for Hawaii, I was drawn in and followed every word like you were talking to me. You varied your tone, and did a great job with that long list. Keep it up – Lance

      • #76972
        twstark
        Participant

        Great feedback on my reads! It’s so helpful to hear what listeners think and feel from an objective perspective. This will definitely help me and I look forward to further notes from everyone. Much appreciated!

        Todd

  • #76775
    AJS10
    Participant

    Hello! I’ve attached two scripts that I’m using to practice for my Narrative demo: one for adult e-learning and the other is more biography/documentary. Would love some feedback. Thank you!

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    • #76896
      rustylj63
      Participant

      Hi AJS, I think your voice sounds great. I’m not sure if its the sound quality of if you’ve got a bit of vocal fry going on, but I’ve been told vocal fry can be a bad thing. Just what I’ve heard. I’m working towards my narration demo as well and one thing I’ve been told a couple of times is that we should let the narration “breath” more. I had a habit of rushing through my reads. Once I started slowing down, giving some space and pausing a bit, it started to sound much better. As good as your voice is, I’d bet that if you slowed your tempo just a bit, the reads would sound even better.

  • #76770
    AJS10
    Participant

    Hello! I’ve attached two scripts that I’m using to practice for my Narrative demo: one for adult e-learning and the other is more biography/documentary. Would love some feedback. Thank you!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by AJS10. Reason: My files were too big so I have to make them smaller... stand by!
  • #76759
    DillonP
    Participant

    I have two new pieces, one a commercial and the other narration. I am right now planning something big right now, so I would appreciate some feedback that can be helpful for me going forward.

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    • #76897
      rustylj63
      Participant

      Hi Dillon, some of your words sound like they’re getting run together or not completed. I think that might be what Lance was referring to. For your narration, maybe try slowing your tempo a little. That’s some advice my coach keeps giving me.

    • #76769
      nicolance
      Participant

      Hi Dillon – nice and friendly tone, but I noticed some diction issues in the Invisalign spot, and some definite slurring in the poem. Try slowing down, paying attention to diction, and still remain nice and friendly. Good luck – Lance

  • #76750
    NuZe
    Participant

    Hello all,

    I want to try to get feedback for my commercial VO reads. Any advice would be great!

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    • #76794
      AJS10
      Participant

      Hi! I think this is a good read for you. I would try this one as a “radio read” because of the way the script is written. I agree with what Mike said above regarding “unique” and “freshness”. But overall, I think this is a good one for you!

    • #76766
      mikemcgann
      Participant

      Hello NuZe,

      This sounded pretty good to me. The pacing for me wasn’t an issue, but it could have used more in how you hit the features of the product. “Unique” and “freshness” could have had more emotion to them to sell that uniqueness like the feeling emoted for “the way no other bag can.” Besides that, be mindful of the mouth noises and background noises.

    • #76762
      DillonP
      Participant

      Your read is good, but too technical, by putting more pace and emotion I think it would come out better, even so keep it up.

  • #76744
    swy619
    Participant

    Hello,
    I have a couple of narration scripts here for feedback. I tried for them to be quite different from each other.
    Thanks,
    Sarah

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    • #76795
      AJS10
      Participant

      I agree with Gill.. engaging and warm. I would suggest just a bit more energy on the OPB read. Your voice is very relaxing but with that read I’d worry it would come off a little too relaxing, so adding a little energy would help. Hope that makes sense!

    • #76763
      Gill
      Participant

      Sarah,
      Nice job on your reads, its very engaging and warm. Your pace and diction is also good. I do hear some lip smacks which is a pretty easy fix. Again, awesome job!

  • #76738
    anlevine95
    Participant

    Hey All! here’s two samples. Thanks for taking a look. appreciate the feedback.

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    • #76758
      nicolance
      Participant

      Are you recording in your home studio? I hear tons of echo and a slight distortion underneath. Not sure if you wanted any technical feedback. Lance

    • #76747
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi,
      Nice job. I think your Church’s Chicken read was especially strong. Good enthusiasm and pitch variation. I would be aware of clarity of diction a bit for the Freshii Ad, especially in the first part, through “master.” Also, maybe vary the pitch a bit more for interest on that one. Again, nice work. These certainly made me hungry.

  • #76735
    nicolance
    Participant

    60 second recording for financial services explainer video – any feedback is very welcome, thank you – Lance

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    • #76748
      swy619
      Participant

      Hi Lance,
      I think this sounds very professional. You sound like an expert on the subject and like you’re really interested and confident in explaining these financial services to me. It did sound like you may have been running out of breath a bit around “CFT’s,” so perhaps be aware of that, if you felt that too. Overall, I feel like this was a great and strong read.

      • #76757
        nicolance
        Participant

        Thanks Sarah – narration requires much more breath than commercial spots . . . thanks for the feedback – Lance

  • #76729
    Roman Saienni
    Participant

    Hi everyone…
    Here are a couple new ones I just recorded. Please give them a listen and and let me know your feedback.

    Thanks,
    Roman

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    • #76737
      anlevine95
      Participant

      Hi Roman- you have a great voice btw. I thought you had a smooth deep voice that could be an asset to much VO work. I thought the kinder bueno read was more consistent (the depression stick seemed like the pitch increased) but it felt like with the kinder read you were selling like a truck or something. i think with kinder if you had a little pitch and maybe increased the speed it might sound better for a chocolate bar. overall i felt you were really confident and it sounded great.

  • #76722
    Sarania
    Participant

    Hello All, if you have a chance, would love some feedback my three commercial script reads. These are harder scripts for me so any feedback would be appreciated.
    Thank you!

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    • #76732
      Roman Saienni
      Participant

      Hello,
      First off, let me point out that you have a very nice and pleasing vocal quality. I thought the MB spot was the strongest. Overall I recommend smoothing out your delivery, all the reads came across a bit choppy and could be smoother. Keep at it and you’ll get it nailed down.

      Hope this helps…
      Roman

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