Hey everyone – First time submission to the Forum. I’m new to VO and excited to learn! Attached are two short reads from the Documentary scripts. I look forward to any and all feedback!
This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by twstark.
Hi Todd, Nice reads! I agree with nicolance aobut the Calloway piece. It was all one tone. I also think you might have hit “resist” and “insist” a little hard. Just my thoughts for what they’re worth.
I too think your Hawaii piece was really good.
Hi Todd – both very nice reads. You have a good strong voice and sound sincere and believable. . . I suggest you see if you can find the beginning, middle and end of the Calloway piece, so that when you get to Callaway at the end, it is the solution to the problem – I think it will be a stronger read. As for Hawaii, I was drawn in and followed every word like you were talking to me. You varied your tone, and did a great job with that long list. Keep it up – Lance
Great feedback on my reads! It’s so helpful to hear what listeners think and feel from an objective perspective. This will definitely help me and I look forward to further notes from everyone. Much appreciated!
Hello! I’ve attached two scripts that I’m using to practice for my Narrative demo: one for adult e-learning and the other is more biography/documentary. Would love some feedback. Thank you!
Hi AJS, I think your voice sounds great. I’m not sure if its the sound quality of if you’ve got a bit of vocal fry going on, but I’ve been told vocal fry can be a bad thing. Just what I’ve heard. I’m working towards my narration demo as well and one thing I’ve been told a couple of times is that we should let the narration “breath” more. I had a habit of rushing through my reads. Once I started slowing down, giving some space and pausing a bit, it started to sound much better. As good as your voice is, I’d bet that if you slowed your tempo just a bit, the reads would sound even better.
Hello! I’ve attached two scripts that I’m using to practice for my Narrative demo: one for adult e-learning and the other is more biography/documentary. Would love some feedback. Thank you!
This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by AJS10. Reason: My files were too big so I have to make them smaller... stand by!
I have two new pieces, one a commercial and the other narration. I am right now planning something big right now, so I would appreciate some feedback that can be helpful for me going forward.
Hi Dillon, some of your words sound like they’re getting run together or not completed. I think that might be what Lance was referring to. For your narration, maybe try slowing your tempo a little. That’s some advice my coach keeps giving me.
Hi Dillon – nice and friendly tone, but I noticed some diction issues in the Invisalign spot, and some definite slurring in the poem. Try slowing down, paying attention to diction, and still remain nice and friendly. Good luck – Lance
Hi! I think this is a good read for you. I would try this one as a “radio read” because of the way the script is written. I agree with what Mike said above regarding “unique” and “freshness”. But overall, I think this is a good one for you!
This sounded pretty good to me. The pacing for me wasn’t an issue, but it could have used more in how you hit the features of the product. “Unique” and “freshness” could have had more emotion to them to sell that uniqueness like the feeling emoted for “the way no other bag can.” Besides that, be mindful of the mouth noises and background noises.
I agree with Gill.. engaging and warm. I would suggest just a bit more energy on the OPB read. Your voice is very relaxing but with that read I’d worry it would come off a little too relaxing, so adding a little energy would help. Hope that makes sense!
Sarah,
Nice job on your reads, its very engaging and warm. Your pace and diction is also good. I do hear some lip smacks which is a pretty easy fix. Again, awesome job!
Hi,
Nice job. I think your Church’s Chicken read was especially strong. Good enthusiasm and pitch variation. I would be aware of clarity of diction a bit for the Freshii Ad, especially in the first part, through “master.” Also, maybe vary the pitch a bit more for interest on that one. Again, nice work. These certainly made me hungry.
Hi Lance,
I think this sounds very professional. You sound like an expert on the subject and like you’re really interested and confident in explaining these financial services to me. It did sound like you may have been running out of breath a bit around “CFT’s,” so perhaps be aware of that, if you felt that too. Overall, I feel like this was a great and strong read.
Hi Roman- you have a great voice btw. I thought you had a smooth deep voice that could be an asset to much VO work. I thought the kinder bueno read was more consistent (the depression stick seemed like the pitch increased) but it felt like with the kinder read you were selling like a truck or something. i think with kinder if you had a little pitch and maybe increased the speed it might sound better for a chocolate bar. overall i felt you were really confident and it sounded great.
Hello All, if you have a chance, would love some feedback my three commercial script reads. These are harder scripts for me so any feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you!
Hello,
First off, let me point out that you have a very nice and pleasing vocal quality. I thought the MB spot was the strongest. Overall I recommend smoothing out your delivery, all the reads came across a bit choppy and could be smoother. Keep at it and you’ll get it nailed down.