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This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
This topic was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by David Goldberg.
Hi everyone, my coach suggested that I try uploading some “commercial” VO examples, as I have been focusing on narration. Your feedback always welcome and helpful.
Hey Joel…
Nice reads but I think your focus on narration is seeping into these spots. Both reads feel a bit stiff. Try relaxing more and focusing on your audience. You have a very strong authoritative voice but both these spots are calling for a relaxed fun delivery. Give it a shot.
Here are two voice over samples of commercials from the script library that I would like feedback on. I’m looking for feedback focusing on pacing. Thank you.
Gikegami,
You have a unique voice that has a lot of character to it. I sort of feel these two commercials scripts weren’t the best in elevating the character in your voice. You may have to be more attentive towards scripts that fits your unique voice when you go through them. As far as your pace goes for Freshii, I would go alittle slower to highlight whats in each bowl. Advil’s pace was better just be careful of where you’re pausing.
Hey Mike, good work on the your e-learning delivery! your tone is lovely. the main thing that i noticed there is a bit of slush on your pronunciation “ST” sounds. i noticed it in the word ‘standard’ and in ‘question’. perhaps a bit of diction practice & tongue twisters can help keep those letters clear!
Vocal delivery seems to be on point. Based on your samples which sounded like tutorials, your slow and relaxed pace is good since you are taking your time to explain the steps! Though, the word “or” might have seemed slurred at some parts of the samples. Overall, the voice samples, in terms of vocal delivery, were excellently delivered.
– I wouldn’t use the music in the background. I would recommend listening to it a few times then starting without it, or play it through your headphones but make sure the volume is low enough that your mic doesn’t detect it.
– Your pacing wasn’t too fast, but I feel the music suggests it should be even slower and maybe some extra time in the breaks. The music to me suggests there would be nature visuals in between the sentences.
– Watch for occasional mouth noises. Nothing too bad, but a few stood out.
You still did very well, your voice works well for this piece, so nice job selecting it.
Hello Everyone! Last time I posted, the constructive feedback I received was great! An area of improvement is differentiation in pitch, and being conversational and less robotic. I can tell you I’ve put in some time and I’m hoping it shows. Thanks in advance for your feedback. Wes
Looking at Wolves: Your voice is great, but watch for plosives on the Ps and mouth noises. I would drink a little more water and make sure not force the air out on the Ps. Sometimes rotating the mic a little so the air rolls off screen before it punches the diaphragm helps. Watch for choppines in the delivery or pacing, try changing the paragraph format in the script to something that feels natural to you. Sometimes changing the paragraph to bullet points will help with the pacing for both your vocal delivery as well as remembering where to take a breath.
Sun Life: Pacing was not as choppy, but a little fast. Same comment on plosives and mouth noises, mostly plosives. As I mentioned to someone else, try putting up something behind you while you read, it may help with some of that room echo you’re getting in the recording.
Trendi: Watch for overall speed and pacing. That 75% would probably want to be slower, while looking at that, think of other words the client may want to stand out as well. I also agree with making sure words are complete. One example would be “and everything ships free” the “and” is almost there but a little is missing.
Password reset: Watch for saliva noises, there are a few and the file starts with one. I think the friendliness the read is asking for is there, but if this is a “process” to follow, I would try going a little slower. Think of it as giving the person a chance to grab a pen and paper if they need, and then maintaining that so they can follow along.
Aetna: same comments on saliva and breaths. Pacing was a little inconsistent, it smoothed out better when you got to “That’s why Aetna” but you may still want to find a slightly slower speed and try it again for the whole piece.
Welcome!
I agree with TimberTykes, but also wanted to add to be mindful of your diction when you say words like important and create just make sure they are clear and not cut short.
Hello! I really enjoy your voice! It’s comes off as sincere, and it really helps sell the ‘Aetna,’ and even the ‘Password-Reset’ recording flow-wise.
I really enjoyed the recordings, but I think the items you’re selling within the recordings could do with a little inflection- it helps us figure out what we’re supposed to be paying attention to! Also, with ‘Great style, great value…,’ try finding different ways to say ‘great,’ to keep things interesting.
The American Cancer Society sounded totally professional. You nailed it. I thought you were a little over the top with your emotion in describing the right side of the brain for the JC Penny commercial.
I have another recording today. I wanted to record two times today, but there’s a lot of commotion outside. With that, the quality of this one may be a little… eh, so apologies in advance.
I’m trying to balance my cadence here, making sure my lines don’t sound too similar to another one, but I have a feeling I’m not quite getting it. If you have any feedback, it’s well appreciated!