Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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The attached is an excerpt from a corporate annual report script. The intent is to be professional, upbeat, and…well…”corporate,” while remaining as natural as possible. All feedback is welcome – thanks!
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Great job tackling this read. You sound professional and serious. There are a few things I would just be mindful of with corporate reads. Because they are consider formal reads, the pace is usually a little slower. The Beginning of your audio has a plosive when you say two thousand so you are aware. Your listing of variations are good but be mindful of pausing in between as it makes the read a little choppy. Overall very good diction and nice job!
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Documentary “travelogue” narration – working on “AND” and “TO” so they sound like Anned and too . . .and not Ann or ta – any feedback on diction or anything else, please. Lance
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Hi Lance – Loving the energy you bring to the read! Don’t lose that, but I think you should tone down the enthusiasm. When I started with a coach, I recall being told (often) when I went “over the top”…that’s what I’m hearing here. You have a wonderful narration voice, reminds me of Jean Shepard in “A Christmas Story”. Let your natural excitement and sincerity shine through and I think this will sound like a more real experience that people can envision, which is what it’s all about (unless the director tells you otherwise of course).
I’m hearing some plosives, are you using a pop filter? If so, you can probably dial back the ennunciation. Again, just guessing that your natural style is already quite articulate.
Hoping this helps!
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Here’s my first post! Decided to tackle the Motel 6 script for my first session. Excuse the quality; I can’t hook up my microphone to the iPad just yet, and my desktop computer makes way too much noise to make recording viable.
Currently working on enunciation, but any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!
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I’m right there with you on PCs making too much noise. Currently trying to find an alternative myself.
Concerning the recording, if your focus is enunciation, I highly recommend “stretching” your voice by doing lip trills or even just taking a half-filled bottle of water and blowing bubbles with a straw. Doing so helps you build up breath energy that makes your words sound more lively, impactful, and clear. Overall, I thought the read was quite natural and conversational.
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Please listen and provide feedback – this is for an instructional video narration, trying to sound both informative and conversational. Any feedback at all will be very very welcome – thanks, Lance
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I have two new recordings I got done. A commercial Discovery Kids and Narration Breast Cancer Research. I would apricate some feedback to help me be ready for when my Demos being developed, thank you.
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Hi Dillon,
I think a playful attitude is great for the discovery kids read, slowing down a bit would help the audience process what you’re saying. This is a descriptive read that I think is meant to paint a picture in the listener’s mind of what animal this could possibly be, with the adjectives “big”, “stinky” and words “see” and “dark.” So I would suggest placing more value on/hitting those words. The degree to which you hit those descriptive and valuable words is up to you. I think painting a fun picture in your mind of what you’re saying would help you hit the words without overemphasizing them. You elongated “discovery kids” at the end which sounds great to me.In the breast cancer read, you sound a little emotionally removed so try talking to or thinking of someone specifically and connecting to the essence of what you’re saying. The pacing is good though! Getting closer to the mic for the breast cancer read is a nice choice, for a more intimate read. I noticed you overstated the “t” in “breast” and “fight”, so watch out for over-enunciating. I also suggest getting more purposeful about what words to hit, otherwise you miss the opportunity to hit some very valuable words and be the most effective. Though breast cancer is a serious topic, try experimenting with a more conversational read, instead of a more professional and removed read. I think being more conversational will match with the intimacy created by being closer to the mic.
If you’re not already, consider doing tongue twisters while holding a pencil between your teeth to improve articulation. Just a little bit of that can make a big difference.
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Dillon – Discovery Kids is a promo – a little rushed and a little slurring at start – try to slow down and have fun with the words. As for the breast cancer piece, I think is meant for a female actor. What kind of demo are you making – commercial? You should look for other spots that work with your warm, soft and caring tone. Lance
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Hi there! I received some feedback from a potential client asking if I have a more mature read. I typically target younger sounding spots, but want to give the “mature” thing a shot.
Attached are two recordings. One is a radio spot (less mature in my opinion) and a travel podcast intro (more mature? I’ve heard that travel is a good genre for a mature read).
Please share your feedback and any tips on a more mature read! I want to play a different character without sounding inauthentic.
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Hi KB,
I agree with Grace’s notes above. I also think the NZ-Travel read would benefit from slightly more emotional/enthusiastic vocal expression. Your voice, to me, sounds mature enough for the read. But I would add a little more excitement about NZ as a travel destination. One other thought re. NZ-Travel: Be sure you’re confident in how to pronounce words with which you’re not familiar. The Maori people would generally pronounce the word either as “Mahwri” or “Mahwdi” but never “May-o-ri.” In other words, the “a” should be pronounced like, “Ow!” versus the month of “May.” Hope that makes sense. 🙂
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Hi kbridges,
I like how clear and articulate your voice is. I would think a mature read is about sounding knowledgeable in the subject and confident, like an expert. So I recommend aiming to sound very knowledgeable in what you’re saying. The Travel read actually strikes me as more mature because you “hit” the word at the end of your sentences(as the Edgestudio guidebook describes it) more than you did in the radio read, which made you sound more confident in the Travel read. It seems like you were trying to be mature by being less emotional in the radio spot, which might be what the client wants too, but without that sense of expertise in your voice, the read may just sound merely nonchalant for the most part. In the radio read, the end of most of your sentences had an uptick in pitch which can be fine, it’s just that it sounded like you were questioning what you were saying especially in the first sentence. So I think you inverted your words too often in that read and that wouldn’t sound expert-like. So I think hitting words, more than inverting them, particularly in the end of your sentence, would make you sound more credible and mature. At the end of the radio spot, you hit the word “.com”, for example. Having the attitude of an expert would help too.
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Wow, this is so creative! Such an awesome, entertaining way to show the variety of characters you can achieve with your voice. I found it really compelling and it kept me listening all the way through. You really “create a whole world” with your voice just as you say in the recording! The editing and mixing is really smooth and seamless as well, with really good sound effects and music throughout it. Nothing but positive affirmations from me!
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I really like this read, especially the first half. It drew me in with a good tempo, great tone and I felt your eyes were on me. As with long scripts, my challenge seems to be staying connected to the audience without getting lost in the words. It seemed that it may have been the challenge in this read, as well. Overall, if I were on the hiring end – I’d be intrigued enough by your read to give you a call back.
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Hi there! I really appreciate this kind of copy and your soothing read. I agree with the above comment, and I think there is also a need to “paint a picture” since you are inside of your workshop. I felt that really working for you in the beginning, the images of wooden tables and tools hung on the wall coming through! and then as your conversation became more abstract you did float away from the realness of that. That does seem to be the challenge built into the script, but you’re not unsuccessful! Keep at it!
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I liked your approach to this read. It was warm, welcoming, down-to-earth. I would point out which is what I’m working on is to keep a person in mind who you’re talking to so that it feels like a real conversation telling them about your experience, your revelation, etc. Towards the middle and end it kind of sounded like you were reading from a script but the beginning was as if you were speaking directly to me which was awesome. Really good stuff!
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Good Evening!
Here’s a recording as homework, per instructor.
There’s a massive heatwave going on in my area, and I noticed that I just couldn’t keep my mouth from drying out. It’s hardly noticeable in the recording, but I do plan on re-doing this when the weather cools down.
As for the aim, it was primarily for someone who’s taking a break from their usual game. I hope the feeling wasn’t lost here.
As usual, any critiques, feedback, and comments of any kind are much appreciated!
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Hi TimberTykes, I agree with nettipo1 that your voice has a delightful, fun quality. I think it’s great for reads that call for excitement, like kids content. That could just be one of the things you could be good at. It’ll probably help to mark on your script/copy where you’re going to take a breath and where you’ll pause. It’ll help guide you so you can avoid doing so at an unnatural time. Also, I think you were at a nice level of energy in the beginning, but it seemed like your energy declined as the read went on, especially in the last sentence that ended in “for everyone.” I think the energy level you had in the beginning should match that last sentence. You could also see how it sounds if you increase the energy level on the read overall, with more volume, pitch range and emotion.
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Hi TimberTykes, your voice has a young, delightful quality to it, perfectly suited for this script. The main thing I noticed was the amount of pausing, sometimes when you were taking small breaths, so maybe plan to take breaths farther apart, and try to never pause except between sentences–and even then, the pause should not be prolonged. Aside from the pauses, I liked the inflection and emphasis that you used on what seemed to be the key words. Keep up the good work!
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Hey! Really appreciate the feedback! It seems that I’m still missing the point on fixing my pauses, even when I think I’ve figured it out. If it’s not too much trouble, could you give me a few examples in my recording, to help me onto the right track?
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Hi TimberTykes – In the first sentence, there seems to be an unnecessary pause after “shift,” “slide,” and “Pokemon,” and then in the second sentence an unnecessary pause after “row.” During some of these pauses, I think I can hear you taking in a breath. So you might want to see if you are taking a breath too often, which is causing you to pause. If you taking a breath too often, perhaps see if you can only take a breath between sentences rather than in the middle of a sentence. Make sure you are relaxed and not tense, because that might cause you to take too short of a breath. Other ways that cause people to pause: if they see a comma (just ignore those commas) and some people tend to pause before they emphasize a word (I do this). Too many pauses will cause the read to sound choppy to the listener, so the idea is to be mindful of it and try not to pause too much. If you are able to edit out the pauses from this recording and listen to it again, you’ll probably find that it would be a smoother read. Hope this helps!
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