[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
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• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by David Goldberg.

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[gigihernandezdoesit]

Hi everybody! Back with a couple more reads. Definitely only looking for technique and performance notes, as I am recording on the phone. Here are some things I’m working on.
With the Corona Refresca spot, I was looking for the right pacing. Trying to find the heartbeat of the thing to keep the energy up. (I rewrote it a little since coolers are out and spiked seltzers are in.)
and with the NYCannabis spot, I was prioritizing sounding conversational while listing the very serious legalese/rules.
General feedback and notes are also appreciated!
Thanks,
G

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[Grace17]

The energy remains high in both reads which makes it interesting to listen to, and I think the pacing is pretty good in both. You might be a little choppy in the first sentence of the Corona read, but leaving space between words could work with tv as that could be when images appear on the screen and the pauses could lend to dramatic effect. For the Cannabis read, i think it would lend to your credibility to not invert(mentioned in Edge Studio’s guidebook) the word “children” but to end the word as if it were the end of a sentence like you did with the word “influence” at the end of the audio.

[gigihernandezdoesit]

Hi Grace, that’s great advice. Thank you

[ecbrown220]

Both great reads! In the corona one some air got into your mic, that can be easily edited. Love the cannabis read, I do feel like your pace slowed at the end though.

[gigihernandezdoesit]

Thanks EC!

[JNMullett]

Well, there were supposed to be two…….. here’s the second one.

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[JNMullett]

A little different version

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[Luke V]

That was amazing, Jeff. If I heard this on the radio or TV, I would have absolutely thought it was professional, and I loved that “correction”; you definitely made a believer out of me.

[Cheechman]

The first one sounded more authentic but sounded kind of faked to me.
Needs to be more conversational and less over the top

[JNMullett]

Thank you for your feedback, Cheechman! More conversational is something I’ve been working on.

[JNMullett]

Thank you for the feedback, Luke. I appreciate your encouraging message!

[JNMullett]

Hi All,

I have posted a couple of practice reads I have been working on. I am getting close to demo record day and would love any feedback you are willing to share. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

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[Luke V]

Your smooth and relaxing read reminded of an ad for a diamond jeweler store called Shane Co. I would hear it growing up and always found it soothing. The read starts with “peace” and it definitely carries that tone all throughout. Great job!

[JNMullett]

Thank you for your feedback, Luke!

[twstark]

Hi Jeff,

I really like this read. Very articulate and clean, and you have a very slight southern accent that adds a really nice “hometown” appeal to the script. You might even try a version that is just a little bit slower to drive the point home even further. Great work!

[JNMullett]

Thank you for your feedback, TW! I will try playing with the tempo as you suggest.

[IlikeGlen]

Hello Community
I would love all of your feedback on My commercial reads I just finished my third coaching session and my coach said she see some progress would like to know what you all think thanks in advance.

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[gigihernandezdoesit]

hi IlikeGlen! You have a fab voice and the energy is great for a kids candy commercial! the only note I have for you is to keep an eye on your diction: I heard “Aventure” and not “ADventure”. Thats it! keep up the good work!

[Cheechman]

The first and second sounds like the pitch is a little on the high side. Too sing Songy
The 3rd one sounded like you were reading opff the paper and very monotone

[Luke V]

I really liked how all three had their own clear tones. It also sounded like they were carefully balanced to keep the conversational nature of the read. That was awesome.

[Tim Kraft]

Hi all – back on the board after a brief hiatus. Working on a narration demo, so wanted to post a baseline of where I’m at now. Previous training has been in promo and just on the front-end of narration coaching. Basically I’m winging it, based on listening to other e-learning samples. Script is from a P2P site, with the usual vague direction “natural, approachable voice for a mental health e-learning module”.

Any and all feedback is welcome, from comments on the read itself to technical feedback.

Thanks as always!

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[Gill]

Welcome back Tim,
Your read on this script sounds natural and approachable. I like your energy and approach to it given that you’re winging it! I would just note your diction. I hear some dropped “th” when you say health and a slur with this word as well. I think that would be somewhere to start.

[twstark]

The attached is an excerpt from a corporate annual report script. The intent is to be professional, upbeat, and…well…”corporate,” while remaining as natural as possible. All feedback is welcome – thanks!

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[Gill]

Great job tackling this read. You sound professional and serious. There are a few things I would just be mindful of with corporate reads. Because they are consider formal reads, the pace is usually a little slower. The Beginning of your audio has a plosive when you say two thousand so you are aware. Your listing of variations are good but be mindful of pausing in between as it makes the read a little choppy. Overall very good diction and nice job!

[twstark]

Hi Gill,

Thanks, that’s helpful, and I agree. It’s a bit “halting” or choppy and I’m going to take another cut at it. Much appreciated!

[nicolance]

Documentary “travelogue” narration – working on “AND” and “TO” so they sound like Anned and too . . .and not Ann or ta – any feedback on diction or anything else, please. Lance

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[Gill]

I think you did good with and on here but I hear you with to if we say it fast enough it unconsciously comes out as ta. I hear it when you say “causing the water to boil over.” Try slowing down when you’re about to approach “to” I think your brain will remind you to say too instead. Keep at it!

[Tim Kraft]

Hi Lance – Loving the energy you bring to the read! Don’t lose that, but I think you should tone down the enthusiasm. When I started with a coach, I recall being told (often) when I went “over the top”…that’s what I’m hearing here. You have a wonderful narration voice, reminds me of Jean Shepard in “A Christmas Story”. Let your natural excitement and sincerity shine through and I think this will sound like a more real experience that people can envision, which is what it’s all about (unless the director tells you otherwise of course).

I’m hearing some plosives, are you using a pop filter? If so, you can probably dial back the ennunciation. Again, just guessing that your natural style is already quite articulate.

Hoping this helps!

[RetsofNoraa]

Here’s my first post! Decided to tackle the Motel 6 script for my first session. Excuse the quality; I can’t hook up my microphone to the iPad just yet, and my desktop computer makes way too much noise to make recording viable.

Currently working on enunciation, but any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

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[Cheechman]

Need to hilite Motel 6 more.
no emotion in the read.
Voice sounds good.

[Luke V]

I’m right there with you on PCs making too much noise. Currently trying to find an alternative myself.

Concerning the recording, if your focus is enunciation, I highly recommend “stretching” your voice by doing lip trills or even just taking a half-filled bottle of water and blowing bubbles with a straw. Doing so helps you build up breath energy that makes your words sound more lively, impactful, and clear. Overall, I thought the read was quite natural and conversational.

[Evan Papier]

It sounded really good. A few words were a little hard to hear so just make sure you have great diction the whole commercial!

[nicolance]

Please listen and provide feedback – this is for an instructional video narration, trying to sound both informative and conversational. Any feedback at all will be very very welcome – thanks, Lance

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[Luke V]

I love the consistency you have concerning the volume and tempo. I don’t know if it was intentional, but I also love the subtle change to a slightly higher pitch at 43 seconds in the mp3 when reading “height”. Overall, it was very informative and digestible.

[DillonP]

I have two new recordings I got done. A commercial Discovery Kids and Narration Breast Cancer Research. I would apricate some feedback to help me be ready for when my Demos being developed, thank you.

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[Grace17]

Hi Dillon,
I think a playful attitude is great for the discovery kids read, slowing down a bit would help the audience process what you’re saying. This is a descriptive read that I think is meant to paint a picture in the listener’s mind of what animal this could possibly be, with the adjectives “big”, “stinky” and words “see” and “dark.” So I would suggest placing more value on/hitting those words. The degree to which you hit those descriptive and valuable words is up to you. I think painting a fun picture in your mind of what you’re saying would help you hit the words without overemphasizing them. You elongated “discovery kids” at the end which sounds great to me.

In the breast cancer read, you sound a little emotionally removed so try talking to or thinking of someone specifically and connecting to the essence of what you’re saying. The pacing is good though! Getting closer to the mic for the breast cancer read is a nice choice, for a more intimate read. I noticed you overstated the “t” in “breast” and “fight”, so watch out for over-enunciating. I also suggest getting more purposeful about what words to hit, otherwise you miss the opportunity to hit some very valuable words and be the most effective. Though breast cancer is a serious topic, try experimenting with a more conversational read, instead of a more professional and removed read. I think being more conversational will match with the intimacy created by being closer to the mic.

If you’re not already, consider doing tongue twisters while holding a pencil between your teeth to improve articulation. Just a little bit of that can make a big difference.

[nicolance]

Dillon – Discovery Kids is a promo – a little rushed and a little slurring at start – try to slow down and have fun with the words. As for the breast cancer piece, I think is meant for a female actor. What kind of demo are you making – commercial? You should look for other spots that work with your warm, soft and caring tone. Lance

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