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  • #72885
    Sylvanie
    Participant

    Hello Everyone, Commercial homework for your feedback. Will appreciate any thoughts or suggestions that I may need to work on. Thank you!

    Special K Red Berries

    Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea. Putting them in the box was. With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good. Special K Red Berries.

    Suave Commercial

    At Suave, we don’t believe in faking healthy hair, with fancy extensions. We skip the tricks, and deliver real results. And infuse real ingredients. Like Suave Coconut Oil Infusion with pure coconut oil. These results don’t lie. Suave, for hair you can believe.

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    • #72966
      Courtney Feiman
      Participant

      Hi Sylvanie! I really enjoyed these pieces. You did a lovely job with them. Be sure to take your time and avoid letting some of the words slur together, like on “slice of real strawberries” and “fancy extensions.”

      • #72997
        Sylvanie
        Participant

        Thank you so much for this feedback Courtney! Will work on that for sure.

  • #72881
    tojo44
    Participant

    Posting a couple of reads for feedback before my coaching session on Tuesday!

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    • #72931
      Rosy
      Participant

      Hi,

      I really liked your Salinas read. You hit the company name well and the benefits – it sounded like you really care about the practice’s patients. I detected a hint of catching your breath in places, not sure if this was due to the long run-on sentences. Maybe you could work on finding a few more places to take a breath?

      Your Walgreens read was nicely varied in pitch and engaging. “After more than a century of business” almost sounded like a question, I wouldn’t raise intonation quite so high.

      Overall I thought you did a great job with both reads.
      Rosy

  • #72877
    SteveVoice2
    Participant

    files reloaded…

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  • #72875
    SteveVoice2
    Participant

    Giant Snakes have a reputation of being aggressive.
    The anaconda measures over 16 feet and weights 180 pounds.
    Its mouth is like a clamp and an animal struggling to get free only sets the grip tighter.
    At the same time it sets its bit, the anaconda loops its powerful coils around its victim and begins to squeeze.
    The process takes little more than a second, hardly enough time to react.

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  • #72874
    SteveVoice2
    Participant

    They say to can tell you’ve become a real New Yorker the minute you stop looking up.
    Looking up’s for the tourists, for the recent transplants – the people who don’t have work to get to, a train to catch
    Looking up’s for the dreamers, for children who haven’t yet outgrown their surroundings. For anyone wide eyed enough to believe
    New York still lives up to its namesake as someplace new.
    But we’ve heard a different story
    We hear there are still neighborhoods to explore.
    Still places to get lost in
    Still secrets worth finding

  • #72873
    SteveVoice2
    Participant

    Good afternoon my fellow voice over students:
    I am submitting for feedback my homework assignment from my recent lesson, which has 3 reads in total.
    I realize my editing may need a little more practice, focusing primarily on voice, pitch, range and tone.
    Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated…thank you

    Few Old Masters are as enduring popular as Rembrandt and the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, is proud to exhibit “Rembrandt’s Journey: Painter-Draftsman-Etcher.”
    The exhibition reveals the all encompassing scope of the artist’s interests via his paintings, etchings, and drawings. Beginning with Rembrandt’s constants and unflinching depictions of his own face, his pen and brush captured an unprecedented array of subjects

  • #72871
    Shaun Cruz
    Participant

    Hi,
    Just submitting my first ever story narration for feedback.

    Thanks!

    CORALINE:

    CORALINE DISCOVERED THE DOOR a little
    while after they moved into the house.
    It was a very old house—it had an attic under
    the roof and a cellar under the ground and an
    overgrown garden with huge old trees in it.
    Coraline’s family didn’t own all of the house—it
    was too big for that. Instead they owned part of it.
    There were other people who lived in the old
    house.
    Miss Spink and Miss Forcible lived in the flat
    below Coraline’s, on the ground floor. They were
    both old and round, and they lived in their flat with
    a number of ageing Highland terriers who had
    names like Hamish and Andrew and J**k. Once
    upon a time Miss Spink and Miss Forcible had
    been actresses, as Miss Spink told Coraline the
    first time she met her.
    “You see, Caroline,” Miss Spink said, getting
    Coraline’s name wrong, “both myself and Miss
    Forcible were famous actresses, in our time. We
    trod the boards, luvvy. Oh, don’t let Hamish eat
    the fruitcake, or he’ll be up all night with his
    tummy.”
    “It’s Coraline. Not Caroline. Coraline,” said
    Coraline.

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  • #72847
    RYoung
    Participant

    Recent audition I did for a video game promo. Got a listen from producer. Possibly wanted more animated voice? Any thoughts are welcome!

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    • #72850
      DillonP
      Participant

      Seems pretty good so far, but could use more enthusiasm and slow down a little in your narration. other than that I think it was a fine promo that you did. Just make sure to keep up the good work.

  • #72822
    DillonP
    Participant

    It took me some time but I finally got my HW for coaching done. please listen and reply.

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    • #72864
      RYoung
      Participant

      Try to slow down your delivery to eliminate slurring. Your voice is friendly and realistic though!

  • #72805
    SteveVO
    Participant

    Trying a bit of a longer audiobook script – Dracula. Thanks for any feedback.

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    • #72845
      RYoung
      Participant

      Nice work on the narration and storytelling end. I was captivated, my only suggestion would be Dracula’s voice could have a different tone (scary) and maybe a pause in anticipation before Dracula speaks?

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