Hello Everyone, Commercial homework for your feedback. Will appreciate any thoughts or suggestions that I may need to work on. Thank you!
Special K Red Berries
Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea. Putting them in the box was. With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good. Special K Red Berries.
Suave Commercial
At Suave, we don’t believe in faking healthy hair, with fancy extensions. We skip the tricks, and deliver real results. And infuse real ingredients. Like Suave Coconut Oil Infusion with pure coconut oil. These results don’t lie. Suave, for hair you can believe.
Hi Sylvanie! I really enjoyed these pieces. You did a lovely job with them. Be sure to take your time and avoid letting some of the words slur together, like on “slice of real strawberries” and “fancy extensions.”
I really liked your Salinas read. You hit the company name well and the benefits – it sounded like you really care about the practice’s patients. I detected a hint of catching your breath in places, not sure if this was due to the long run-on sentences. Maybe you could work on finding a few more places to take a breath?
Your Walgreens read was nicely varied in pitch and engaging. “After more than a century of business” almost sounded like a question, I wouldn’t raise intonation quite so high.
Overall I thought you did a great job with both reads.
Rosy
Giant Snakes have a reputation of being aggressive.
The anaconda measures over 16 feet and weights 180 pounds.
Its mouth is like a clamp and an animal struggling to get free only sets the grip tighter.
At the same time it sets its bit, the anaconda loops its powerful coils around its victim and begins to squeeze.
The process takes little more than a second, hardly enough time to react.
They say to can tell you’ve become a real New Yorker the minute you stop looking up.
Looking up’s for the tourists, for the recent transplants – the people who don’t have work to get to, a train to catch
Looking up’s for the dreamers, for children who haven’t yet outgrown their surroundings. For anyone wide eyed enough to believe
New York still lives up to its namesake as someplace new.
But we’ve heard a different story
We hear there are still neighborhoods to explore.
Still places to get lost in
Still secrets worth finding
Good afternoon my fellow voice over students:
I am submitting for feedback my homework assignment from my recent lesson, which has 3 reads in total.
I realize my editing may need a little more practice, focusing primarily on voice, pitch, range and tone.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated…thank you
Few Old Masters are as enduring popular as Rembrandt and the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, is proud to exhibit “Rembrandt’s Journey: Painter-Draftsman-Etcher.”
The exhibition reveals the all encompassing scope of the artist’s interests via his paintings, etchings, and drawings. Beginning with Rembrandt’s constants and unflinching depictions of his own face, his pen and brush captured an unprecedented array of subjects
Hi,
Just submitting my first ever story narration for feedback.
Thanks!
CORALINE:
CORALINE DISCOVERED THE DOOR a little
while after they moved into the house.
It was a very old house—it had an attic under
the roof and a cellar under the ground and an
overgrown garden with huge old trees in it.
Coraline’s family didn’t own all of the house—it
was too big for that. Instead they owned part of it.
There were other people who lived in the old
house.
Miss Spink and Miss Forcible lived in the flat
below Coraline’s, on the ground floor. They were
both old and round, and they lived in their flat with
a number of ageing Highland terriers who had
names like Hamish and Andrew and J**k. Once
upon a time Miss Spink and Miss Forcible had
been actresses, as Miss Spink told Coraline the
first time she met her.
“You see, Caroline,” Miss Spink said, getting
Coraline’s name wrong, “both myself and Miss
Forcible were famous actresses, in our time. We
trod the boards, luvvy. Oh, don’t let Hamish eat
the fruitcake, or he’ll be up all night with his
tummy.”
“It’s Coraline. Not Caroline. Coraline,” said
Coraline.
Seems pretty good so far, but could use more enthusiasm and slow down a little in your narration. other than that I think it was a fine promo that you did. Just make sure to keep up the good work.
Nice work on the narration and storytelling end. I was captivated, my only suggestion would be Dracula’s voice could have a different tone (scary) and maybe a pause in anticipation before Dracula speaks?