Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,048 replies, 725 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks, 4 days ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by .
-
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
-
Replies
-
Hello all – Here is more of my homework from my first narration demo session. Thanks in advance for your feedback!
Podcast:
From the New York Times and WBUR Boston, this is Modern Love: stories of love, loss, and redemption.Welcome:
SAS Curiosity Forever: We ask the questions that move the world forward. Curiosity Forever is a promise. We will never stop exploring data, analyzing it, learning from it. Because when curiosity meets capability, the world moves forward.E-Learning:
NYU offers a variety of online courses for students to learn asynchronously via innovative online tools and instructional methods. NYU’s Big Ideas course series provides a unique academic experience featuring faculty experts from across the University. Courses are available to all students, regardless of school or department.Edge Studio Narration Script:
In ancient times, a king had his men place a boulder on a roadway. He then hid in the bushes, and watched to see if anyone would move the boulder out of the way. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers passed by and simply walked around it. Many people blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none of them did anything about getting the stone removed.One day, a peasant came along carrying vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to push the stone out of the way. After much pushing and straining, he finally managed. After the peasant went back to pick up his vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king explaining that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the road.
Moral of the story – Every obstacle that we come across gives us an opportunity to improve our circumstances, and while the lazy complain, others are creating opportunities through their kind hearts, generosity, and willingness to get things done.
Edge Studio Narration Script:
I know that you’re scared, and it’s a good thing to be scared. Because with that fear, you realize that there is a strange adrenaline rush that takes over you, akin to most of the top athletes and singers right before they play and start their performance. As you feel scared, you can begin to, you know…use this emotion for the better. Use the rush, use the adrenaline, use all of this nervous energy. You get scared because your mind pictures things not going in your favor, however the mind is creative. One of the scenarios it can create, can come from the space of courage. It’s all a picture in your head at the end of the day. So why don’t you take this opportunity to think of the outcome that you want, the one in which you’ll feel happy, satisfied and excited about this journey that you’re about to take. Yes, use all the nervous energy to imagine a level of euphoria unfathomable so far in your life. It’s bright and vivid. You put aside the negative images you were seeing with these new, beautiful and breathtaking ones. Yes, you can…NOW…BEGIN TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. -
-
-
Hi everyone! I’m a first timer on the forum, sharing a couple of (raw) narration pieces before my coaching session. I’m just setting up my home studio and trying out my DAW so no fancy editing or acoustics here. I’d be grateful for your feedback and areas for improvement (loads I’m sure!)
Thanks so much 🙂
1.
The heart is a remarkable organ. It is a muscle that relaxes and contracts, pumping blood carrying oxygen and nutrients throughout the body.
The steady rhythm of these contractions is controlled by electrical impulses that travel through the heart, first through the upper chambers, called the atria; and then through the lower chambers, called the ventricles.
In order to reach the ventricles, electrical impulses must pass here, at the atrioventricular node.2.
Welcome to the new employee training course. Today’s course will focus on “Conflicts of Interest”.
For the next 15 minutes, you’ll explore the work life of company employee “Ann” and assess if she is experiencing conflicts of interest on the job.
By the end of this course, you’ll be able to:
– Explain what our company means by a “conflict of interest”;
– Identify a situation where a gift may be considered a conflict of interest;
– And identify the appropriate steps to quickly resolve a conflict of interest.
Click the “Start” button to begin.-
Hello Rosy
I wish I could critique better but I absolutely didn’t even hear a problem with this read. If I was speaking technical then I guess I heard a few pops in there but other than that it was GREAT!
-
-
-
Hi everyone, submitting my narration homework for coaching. Please let me know if you have any feedback. Thanks!
-
Hi Gregory,
I like your tone, sounds rich and articulate. In both reads I noticed a pattern of downward intonation (except the end of Hemingway). You could try varying the pattern. Also it sounded slightly “choppy”. List-Jumbo was smoother and I liked your energy. I thought the word “epic” could be stressed a little more, but overall great stuff!
Rosy
-
-
Hi! New member to the feedback forum. I’m submitting my commercial homework for feedback. Thanks for your responses in advance!
Pure Barre Frederick:
Welcome to Pure Barre Frederick. We’re open for FREE classes! Get ready to lift and tone your muscles with our 45-50 minute full-body workout that will define your muscle groups through resistance training. Our instructors will guide you through each low-impact movement so you can experience all the benefits barre has to offer: Low-impact, high intensity movements, tighten your core, and increase flexibility and gain mobility. Reserve your free class today!In This House:
In this house
There is no mess
No gossiping, nothing negative, and definitely no stress
Never mind what happened in the past
Putting focus there only makes it last
In this house we ONLY dream
It’s why we make the perfect team
Only speak of all the good to come
Move to the beat of Our own drums
In this house its just like me
We practice the dreams we desire to be
Now in this house the things you see
Are all the dreams that were in ME.-
Hi Courtney!
I think both reads are good and you have a great “natural” sounding voice!
Pure Barre: Enthusiasm and smile really come through in a good way with this read. The only thing I’d say is at times your pacing could be just a tad slower in order to emphasize or enunciate certain words. ie. first half of the third sentence. Really really good read overall!
In this house: Another really great read! You seem to have found the proper tone and executed it well. I did notice you said “that’s” instead of “it’s” on “It’s why we make the perfect team”. I’m also wondering if the copy is more of a narration piece than commercial. That being said, I’m not sure how much that matters for HW purposes 🙂 Overall, I think you nailed it!
Hope this helps!
-Max
-
-
-
Hello Everyone, Commercial homework for your feedback. Will appreciate any thoughts or suggestions that I may need to work on. Thank you!
Special K Red Berries
Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea. Putting them in the box was. With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good. Special K Red Berries.
Suave Commercial
At Suave, we don’t believe in faking healthy hair, with fancy extensions. We skip the tricks, and deliver real results. And infuse real ingredients. Like Suave Coconut Oil Infusion with pure coconut oil. These results don’t lie. Suave, for hair you can believe.
-
Hi Sylvanie! I really enjoyed these pieces. You did a lovely job with them. Be sure to take your time and avoid letting some of the words slur together, like on “slice of real strawberries” and “fancy extensions.”
-
-
-
-
Hi,
I really liked your Salinas read. You hit the company name well and the benefits – it sounded like you really care about the practice’s patients. I detected a hint of catching your breath in places, not sure if this was due to the long run-on sentences. Maybe you could work on finding a few more places to take a breath?
Your Walgreens read was nicely varied in pitch and engaging. “After more than a century of business” almost sounded like a question, I wouldn’t raise intonation quite so high.
Overall I thought you did a great job with both reads.
Rosy
-
-
-
Giant Snakes have a reputation of being aggressive.
The anaconda measures over 16 feet and weights 180 pounds.
Its mouth is like a clamp and an animal struggling to get free only sets the grip tighter.
At the same time it sets its bit, the anaconda loops its powerful coils around its victim and begins to squeeze.
The process takes little more than a second, hardly enough time to react.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
