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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everyone! I’m a first timer on the forum, sharing a couple of (raw) narration pieces before my coaching session. I’m just setting up my home studio and trying out my DAW so no fancy editing or acoustics here. I’d be grateful for your feedback and areas for improvement (loads I’m sure!)
Thanks so much 🙂
1.
The heart is a remarkable organ. It is a muscle that relaxes and contracts, pumping blood carrying oxygen and nutrients throughout the body.
The steady rhythm of these contractions is controlled by electrical impulses that travel through the heart, first through the upper chambers, called the atria; and then through the lower chambers, called the ventricles.
In order to reach the ventricles, electrical impulses must pass here, at the atrioventricular node.2.
Welcome to the new employee training course. Today’s course will focus on “Conflicts of Interest”.
For the next 15 minutes, you’ll explore the work life of company employee “Ann” and assess if she is experiencing conflicts of interest on the job.
By the end of this course, you’ll be able to:
– Explain what our company means by a “conflict of interest”;
– Identify a situation where a gift may be considered a conflict of interest;
– And identify the appropriate steps to quickly resolve a conflict of interest.
Click the “Start” button to begin.-
Hello Rosy
I wish I could critique better but I absolutely didn’t even hear a problem with this read. If I was speaking technical then I guess I heard a few pops in there but other than that it was GREAT!
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Hi everyone, submitting my narration homework for coaching. Please let me know if you have any feedback. Thanks!
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Hi Gregory,
I like your tone, sounds rich and articulate. In both reads I noticed a pattern of downward intonation (except the end of Hemingway). You could try varying the pattern. Also it sounded slightly “choppy”. List-Jumbo was smoother and I liked your energy. I thought the word “epic” could be stressed a little more, but overall great stuff!
Rosy
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Hi! New member to the feedback forum. I’m submitting my commercial homework for feedback. Thanks for your responses in advance!
Pure Barre Frederick:
Welcome to Pure Barre Frederick. We’re open for FREE classes! Get ready to lift and tone your muscles with our 45-50 minute full-body workout that will define your muscle groups through resistance training. Our instructors will guide you through each low-impact movement so you can experience all the benefits barre has to offer: Low-impact, high intensity movements, tighten your core, and increase flexibility and gain mobility. Reserve your free class today!In This House:
In this house
There is no mess
No gossiping, nothing negative, and definitely no stress
Never mind what happened in the past
Putting focus there only makes it last
In this house we ONLY dream
It’s why we make the perfect team
Only speak of all the good to come
Move to the beat of Our own drums
In this house its just like me
We practice the dreams we desire to be
Now in this house the things you see
Are all the dreams that were in ME.-
Hi Courtney!
I think both reads are good and you have a great “natural” sounding voice!
Pure Barre: Enthusiasm and smile really come through in a good way with this read. The only thing I’d say is at times your pacing could be just a tad slower in order to emphasize or enunciate certain words. ie. first half of the third sentence. Really really good read overall!
In this house: Another really great read! You seem to have found the proper tone and executed it well. I did notice you said “that’s” instead of “it’s” on “It’s why we make the perfect team”. I’m also wondering if the copy is more of a narration piece than commercial. That being said, I’m not sure how much that matters for HW purposes 🙂 Overall, I think you nailed it!
Hope this helps!
-Max
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Hello Everyone, Commercial homework for your feedback. Will appreciate any thoughts or suggestions that I may need to work on. Thank you!
Special K Red Berries
Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea. Putting them in the box was. With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good. Special K Red Berries.
Suave Commercial
At Suave, we don’t believe in faking healthy hair, with fancy extensions. We skip the tricks, and deliver real results. And infuse real ingredients. Like Suave Coconut Oil Infusion with pure coconut oil. These results don’t lie. Suave, for hair you can believe.
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Hi Sylvanie! I really enjoyed these pieces. You did a lovely job with them. Be sure to take your time and avoid letting some of the words slur together, like on “slice of real strawberries” and “fancy extensions.”
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Hi,
I really liked your Salinas read. You hit the company name well and the benefits – it sounded like you really care about the practice’s patients. I detected a hint of catching your breath in places, not sure if this was due to the long run-on sentences. Maybe you could work on finding a few more places to take a breath?
Your Walgreens read was nicely varied in pitch and engaging. “After more than a century of business” almost sounded like a question, I wouldn’t raise intonation quite so high.
Overall I thought you did a great job with both reads.
Rosy
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Giant Snakes have a reputation of being aggressive.
The anaconda measures over 16 feet and weights 180 pounds.
Its mouth is like a clamp and an animal struggling to get free only sets the grip tighter.
At the same time it sets its bit, the anaconda loops its powerful coils around its victim and begins to squeeze.
The process takes little more than a second, hardly enough time to react. -
They say to can tell you’ve become a real New Yorker the minute you stop looking up.
Looking up’s for the tourists, for the recent transplants – the people who don’t have work to get to, a train to catch
Looking up’s for the dreamers, for children who haven’t yet outgrown their surroundings. For anyone wide eyed enough to believe
New York still lives up to its namesake as someplace new.
But we’ve heard a different story
We hear there are still neighborhoods to explore.
Still places to get lost in
Still secrets worth finding
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